Tag: Lyme seizures

The small things matter too

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My holiday weekend will be measured by small things, small joys.  And these are no less than the big trips, celebrations, fireworks, and gorgeous mountain views from my friends on Facebook.  Here are the things that matter most to me:

A view out a bedroom window that captures the emergence of the giant hibiscus flora.

The sweet look of concern from our furry friend when she knows what’s up and how to love with her eyes.

My beloved who can live in the moment with me no matter what life brings.

I made it through the time that needed to pass while awaiting a medical appointment on Tuesday.

The creative block with Trinity Jewelry by Design broke through with a new bracelet design and a bunch of cute variations with more to follow soon.

Tending to the William Battin roses that exceeded my expectations early this Summer.

Witnessing the promise of a bumper crop of cucumbers to redeem the poor showing with the cool Spring last year.

Time to relax with Steve at home, to review, to plan, to talk, to enjoy meals together.

A couple of phone calls with my brother who is making the most of a frustrating recovery from a stroke.

Long moments dwelling with my Lord in His Word yielding encouragement and refreshment for my soul.

A firework display from the comfort of our kitchen table, compliments of the neighbors next door.

Yes, the small things matter too whether you are recovering from a serious illness or not.  I’ll bet you can think of a few special things too?  I’d love to hear about them Gentle Reader.  Your words encourage my heart and I’d like to get to know you!  Take care,  Just Julie

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My Goal

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From Bible teacher Kay Arthur on Facebook yesterday:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.” – 2 Timothy 4:7–8

You are an ambassador for Christ, pointing others away from things which are seen (the temporal) to things which are not seen (the eternal). So take courage, valiant warrior. Fight the good fight of faith, for soon it will be over and you’ll be on the Victor’s side, with the King you represented.

Will you be able to say as Paul I have fought the good fight? Or will you stand ashamed in His presence?

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Thank you Mrs. Arthur.  I will stay in the fight!  JJ

Inside my heart

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If a heart weeps for all that is gone

Must it place value in only that left behind?

If a moment in time is all that we have together

Will you remember me when your last breath reminds you there is none left?

If a baby bunny can nourish itself from my well-tendered garden intended for me

Could the disease inside of me eat away at my strength til there is none left to redeem?

Yeah that last one doesn’t encourage me much so I better stop right there.  I’m struggling to make sense of the 12 hours of seizure attacks that ended yesterday.  Periodic re-occurrences continued of course leaving me afraid to go to bed whenever I got brave enough to go to bed.  Wretchedness with writhing, head-banging, moaning, and more greet me in the first stages of “sleep” every night.  Make sense out of that one!  These episodes make me suspicious of anything that might trigger them.  Inside my heart I am angry,  I am hurt.  I am exasperated.  I am . . .

I am in need of renewal inside and out.  Where are you Lord?  Fill my spirit with your unending grace.  Please make your presence known such that I might endure, recover from this hell.  I submit to You my king.  There is none like You.  For your glory.  Amen.  JJ

 

It’s all I can do

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Focusing on breathing today.  It’s all I can do.  The stress level is high as Steve and I anticipate travelling out of State to see my brother tomorrow.  Gratefully I report that it appears he is stabilizing after having had a severe stroke this past weekend.  My own struggles with illness and daily seizure-like episodes continues.  A new treatment for me didn’t pan out too well, increasing the severity of the post-treatment episode.  Oh well.  The Lord goes before me and all of us as we call upon His mighty name:  Abba Father!

Lord I need you now.

We got this.  Philippians 4:13

 

I submit Mike's left-sided weakness to the Lord who strengthens us all.
I submit Mike’s left-sided weakness to the Lord who strengthens us all.

 

 

He’s Still on the Line

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hold you tight

Long after my beloved is asleep

Devastated by unanswered prayers and sorrows so deep

I lie awake my body tossing, trembling

Such are the storms of night:  unending.

From wherest does my help come from

When prayers bring no relief with each day’s sun?

The hopes are dashed, the relief doesn’t last

And the damage, the pain continues no less.

So many nights where nightmares became reality

So much suffering sends off all memories of normalcy.

People leave your life even when they like you

For fear, for powerlessness, for horror of what is your truth.

New sojourners may come only to wallow awhile with you

Should you happen to find a way out they will be long gone too.

Choose wisely your inner circle my friend

Make sure the Lord is closest-in when the nightmare ends.

He will never leave:  His love will fill the gaps

Where others must fail, supernatural strength is what lasts.

You can call Him near, like a salve to the wounds of war

Then peace will come . . . you can carry on from there, dear one.

Now here’s a love song that reminds me of these times with my beloved Steve:  he holds me close while the Lord is still “on the line,” listening to our hearts and holding both of us near to His own.   From a simpler time:

Still on the Line