Here I sit

Here I sit

Broken hearted

Trying to s__

But only farted!

And so goes the rhyme of 9 year-old boys and their older sisters!  It’s a little funny and a little sad for me right now.  It’s like our waiting for answers in the next step of my treatment process that is wearing heavily on my beloved, Steve, and me.  The stress is crushing.  We cannot do much but endure the next few days until the next consultation.  I am having to puree foods to keep the chewing motion of my jaw from triggering convulsions.  And still they happen on their own regardless.  This keyboard is my closest friend tonight.  Thank you for being here.  You are:

   2 Good

+ 2 Be

_________

4 Gotten!

Love to all, JJ

 

Weekend Do-Over

Let's just say it did not go so well . . .
Let’s just say it did not go so well . . .

 

 

 

 

 

For this I have seen

The darkest time of night

Brings hope in ways not the norm:

When breathing is restored and the room stands still

My mind clears and my Lord speaks in ways never heard before.

He knows my frame

And delivers me once again

With less pain overall these days

And more wisdom than trauma for all the suffering.

For alas I can go

To such a wretched place

Time and again whilst wondering “why?”

Only to find hidden answers just for me, in the those tender places.

Not all makes sense

And that can be o.k. in the end

When I know the Lord is at the helm

And uses my suffering for His glory, my healing, to bring light, and more.

No, it was not wasted

When I found you who came along

This way with me where the blackest times of night

Served to shine streams of sunshine into days once lived in shades of gray.

Oh to keep mediocrity!

That would be dreadful indeed.

To never see beyond vanilla, boring landscapes

Creeping traffic in the middle lane when the Audubon beckons in a Ferrari 458.

Mach 1 with your hair aflame

Is bound to singe your eyebrows too

But how will you know if you are truly alive my dear

If you have not seen, tasted death along the edges of life truly lived whoot, whoot?

Because when it is over

A job will be waiting for you as me:

To tell our stories to those stuck in the dark

Or on an exit ramp on the wrong road they once thought went nowhere too.

There is always more

Even when our breaths are numbered

When we each see the door to the last destination

And can no longer wonder if we did too much or too little when our past cannot change.

The door to eternity awaits us both dear one:

With adventure of which we cannot conceive;

A place filled with wonder and no more tears

Where our heart will be home, finally, at last.

Will you risk this to be true and come to Him?

Will you lay down your fight, the need to know

To let Jesus Christ be your true reason to live:

The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end.

Even when in our hearts we must let Him reign

Leading our thoughts and quieting all our fears

Adding His increase when no strength remains.

Finding this kind of peace transcends all we see:

We will find more than the mind can imagine for

We will live at peace I tell you for this I have seen.

:JJ

 

diaperthongGotcha!  ;J

 

Request for Personal Assistance

Dear Gentle Readers:

I am most blessed to be in touch with you through this wonderful world of blogging.  Today I am asking for your help!

Last week I started some baby steps in a new treatment protocol (called a Pretox Treatment Protocol) for mercury toxicity.  The program is based upon the brilliant  work of Dr. Chris Shade and Quicksilver Scientific.  I am exceedingly grateful that my family doctor attended a conference where Dr. Chris Shade had presented on mercury toxicity.  Dr. Shade developed mercury speciation testing and specific treatment regimes to open elimination pathways in the body of inorganic- and methyl-mercury.  I completed several lab tests including their  Tri-Mercury test and their Blood Metals Test is now in process.  After suffering nearly 3 hellish years with daily seizure attacks and numerous failed approaches, we finally have hope for complete recovery.

The only problem is that I am having difficulty tolerating the Pretox Treatment Protocol!  No surprise there:  I react to everything these days.  So here is my request:

Would you kindly contact Quicksilver Scientific and ask for a special consultation for me with Dr. Chris Shade?  The company is exceedingly busy with expansion and Dr. Shade’s speaking schedule so a little extra noise might be helpful.  Here’s the link to their website and where you can leave a message with my name and email address ( be sure to convert to an email address the following with numbers instead of words and “yahoo.com”:  psalmthree4eightonezero@yahoodotcom):

http://www.quicksilverscientific.com/about/contact-us

I made this video for Dr. Shade to illustrate exactly what mercury poisoning has brought into our lives over here and my dilemma:

My husband Steve and I are hopeful that I am going to get well!  We are exceedingly grateful for prayers and support of everyone and look forward to the day when we can celebrate together all that the Lord has done in this season of our lives.  He is good.  All the time.  He is good!

Thank you for your consideration.

Take care,

Just Julie

Breakfast of Champions

Keeping it real today:  it was the best breakfast I’d had in a long time.  Held me over for hours.  Can you believe it?

The ingredients were:  gluten-free oats, coconut/almond milk, ghee butter, lactose-free whey powder, 2 walnuts, and bacon!  Gee I often wonder if I need a ketogenic diet (KD) since I feel so much better after eating ghee butter and red palm oil spread by the tablespoonsful!  I’d like to try the KD when I can find the medical professionals I’d need to calculate ketones and monitor cholesterol levels in this middle-aged frame.  Otherwise it’s probably not a good idea long-term.  Until then, just please pass the avocado oil for my coconut cream and blueberry smoothie!

The “champion” this morning was not me, however.  My beloved Stevers was my hero as I was unable to move without eliciting seizure attacks in bed.  So he fed me.  Spoonful by spoonful of rich bliss came to me with breaks in between bites to catch my breath.  I was so depleted from another hellish night dontcha know that I needed to rest often.  And then I revived enough to take myself to the bathroom and return to bed for more sleep.  A brief noxious episode ensued, an indeterminate amount of sleep, and waking convulsions on the other side.  Holy cow!

My other hero today who kept me company when I awoke sometime in the afternoon was our pup, Elle.  She often watches over me these days, sleeping within view of the bed.  Next to Jesus Christ, I love having a friend nearby with fur-on.  That is true only if my friend with skin-on has to go to work!  My beloved got there 2 hours later today for having taken care of me this morning.  I am so grateful for his care and hope his boss understands . . .

The afternoon was slow-going as I progressed from being beat-up to stable.  I recovered quickly from a brief afternoon replay of this morning.  I am glad that thereafter I was able to finish the Fall clean-up for Winter and gather some anise hyssop seeds for a friend before lopping off the last of the spent garden beauties.  Then I plopped myself down in front of the computer for a few hours and was able to do nothing else.  My sewing project 2 feet behind me, due in 2 weeks, will wait once again.  Such is life in the preparatory stages of mercury chelation.  Working on kidney detox to aid the chelation pathway for inorganic mercury.  Hmmm.  Sure hope I clear before Thanksgiving . . . sure would like to travel to see some friends and family . . .

My heart is heavy with all of this.  Knowing my brother may be stuck in a nursing home for more months is a burden too.  His Social Security Disability Income will likely take awhile to be awarded even though the left side of his body remains quite debilitated from the stroke in April.  I am glad that he was able to go “home” with his fiancé for a few hours yesterday:  the first time since this all happened.  Finally!  Sish.  The occupational therapist in me has been frustrated more than once by the whole ordeal.  Therapy is on hold again for Mike due to Medicaid paperwork delays.  So life in a better nursing home is where he will be indefinitely.  Kinda sad, really.

In case this is sounding like a pity party I will end it right here.  Just keeping it real.  I still have that joy in my heart that I wrote about this past weekend.  I still have hope that I will be restored to health and probably land in an even better place a couple of years from now when the mercury chelation process has succeeded.  I still am grateful for so many blessings that were never in my life even one year ago.  I have a plan for recovery!  I still look forward to the simple pleasures that make life so sweet.  Ah yes, here comes our German shepherd wagging her tail from having played with my hubby in the front yard since arriving home from work.

It’s late.  It’s time for the dinner of champions, Steve and me.  And it’s a good thing I saved a little bacon for us too.  I mean who doesn’t love bacon?  JJ

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