We survived our Christmas holiday

He suggested a restaurant, I located a coffee shop, we could save money by making our own food, then 4 of 10 family members cancelled, so a local brunch place it would be for our family Christmas gathering!

I intended to meet up with them that Sunday the 23rd but the old beast I battle interfered then lo within hours they were in the driveway and headed to the backyard just moments after I’d made it out of bed! Thank the Lord I’d showered before my recovery nap; the gals had dressed in warmer garments so their greetings on the Wintry patio meant I could see my beloved’s wonderful adult children after all.

The gifting seemed awkward but we were generous all around anyways then whammo it hit and seizing returned body-wide in full view, right there in the open air: my winter coat and silent eyes all around me. Some had not witnessed this hell before . . . what the hell? I prayed as my body shook violently and slumped down into the lawn chair, with me still wondering why I have to be awake to try to figure out what I am supposed to do during these nightmares when I can do nothing at all?

A plan came to mind and when my body writhing stopped, I dangerously dashed for the sliding glass door whilst screeching from my loins how horrible this is, my deepest sorrow, and my love for them all. I still dunno if anyone heard my guttural tears that began as I closed the door and lasted for the next hour with episodes that returned as I dragged my body back to the bedroom to crash. Again. Then I wondered, where was Steve?

Sounds in the background told the story that they had all left, including my beloved, with them . . . No one had brought me any food (I guess I was sleeping earlier when they were eating lunch with the live Christmas band delighting their visit), said good-bye, or showed any concern for my welfare . . . until 2 of them texted me messages of concern hours later. Ah, the days of living by the (inadequate) communication of our smart phones! It was all I had so it was something I guess. Steve returned a couple of hours later to tell me they had gone on with their plans of go-kart racing. The pictures on Facebook told the story of the great time they had. Do I want to see them? Say what?

This type of unexplained episodes continued, preventing worship at a Christmas eve service the next night so I braced myself to spend it all alone. How could I possibly hold my husband hostage at home with me when a couple of his adult children remained in town? Extreme chemical sensitivity was about to take him down as well when he got to the church and it reeked of burning frankincense so badly he could not stay inside the building. So we watched the services together online at home . . . Silent night, holy night.

Christmas required extra rest before a simple celebration with my beloved: no decorations or fancy foods just some gifts and an appreciation of the meaning of this day that was more apparent for me this year than decades ago. Simplicity does that. Christmas is measured in moments, however small, when you focus on the love that comes from our Savior, Jesus Christ. The traditions are lovely when you have them too. I tried to be positive and loving to my amazing man who has been faithful through so much heartache and sickness from me. How can I possibly sweat any small stuff when he always gets the big stuff right?

Little did we know that we would both become very sick with the flu within 3 more days. We had an errand to run together, at the end of which my beloved was already fading with illness. I joined him within a day and gratefully after some cleaning and making a pot of soup for us both. We still had not gone grocery shopping which didn’t matter since neither of us could eat hardly anything. That didn’t change much as the worst of this flu lasted FOUR DAYS!

Steve has started to surface back into life as he did some online studying; today was my first day I could stand in the kitchen long enough this evening to roast some chicken apple brats in the oven. Yeah, finally I wanted to eat a little more again after incredible pain and nausea lead to the loss of 3 pounds. I started to talk in complete sentences today while bracing my neck, rib cage, and abdomen when out of bed, yeah, afraid of making worse the new hiatal hernia and gastritis diagnosed 2 weeks ago. Can you say “I feel like a basket case?”

By the grace of God we survived our Christmas holiday. My beloved spent half of his vacation time from work battling the flu and barely seeing his adult children visiting from out of state; I never really recovered from this whack-a-this-or-that. This Winter illness is going to take me a few more days from which to stabilize . . . but interestingly the seizure attack episodes that flared at the beginning of our holiday week are down again. Yes, they are down! I have just found a way to take some nutrients that have been critically and chronically low and which are likely a major contributing factor to the convulsive episodes. To become seizure-free would be my desired earthly gift this new year. Thank the Lord we made it to 2019!!!!!!!!

We have been here before, you and I, Gentle Reader, dozens of times with my stories of hope and heartache and hope and heartache again. Call me a Weeble that Wobbles but she don’t fall down, I guess. Are you hanging in there with me too? Jesus makes the overcoming all possible in the end you know. (Please excuse my wee bit of humor, my Lord. Unlike me, you never falter.)

Gentle Reader: I pray that you did a bit more than survive this Christmas too. Happy new year? Oh yes, happy new year it is going to be! JJ

Hosting a guest while practicing extreme mold avoidance procedures

If you have the energy to do it, it is possible to host a guest while practicing extreme mold avoidance procedures.  This process also includes avoiding noxious exposures such as fragrances in scented products and clothing plus anything else we could identify that could potentially hurt me.  I took this project on because I was doing fairly well after some new treatment this year and the health of an extended family member was failing.  While ultimately our family member was unable to stay with us, we believe we had done everything possible to make this trial visit work.  This blog post will begin to summarize the procedures we felt were most important; here’s my first “brain dump” of all that transpired these past few months.

Before Your Guest Arrives

We were preparing to leave for a week and camp in a travel trailer so the preparations for this trip that would end in picking up our elderly family member were already huge for anyone travelling cross-country.  When you camp you prepare:  food and clothing, supplies, campground reservations, rental of a larger truck with enough space in which to bring home our family member, a basic itinerary for the week, notification of credit card companies that we would be travelling, and the like.  I mention these tasks to exemplify how you, the host, must have all of your ducks in order before the visit is to begin.  We had a gaggle of ducks to line up!  Having your act together is equally true if only one of you is travelling as you come together.

Preparations in the home are extensive

  • Bathroom accessibility equipment for the safety of our guest.
  • Home cleaned so we have a clean, stable environment from which to begin our time together; there would be no time to clean once the visit started and our family member was getting settled, we were learning her routines and she was learning ours.
  • Bedroom prepared for her belongings:  an organizer in the closet (helpful if there is no space in a dresser), removal or sale of non-essential items (for us this included an antique sewing machine and an extra mattress), and some welcoming decor.
  • Place vinyl allergy covers over the mattress and over each pillow, underneath the bed linens.
  • Bath towels, personal products, and a change of clothing ready to go for her first shower upon arrival, knowing that in our case we would be getting home late after a full day of travel.  Your guest could be a little nervous and need some direction in your new environment, new routines.  Plan to be available that first hour or so.
  • Food for the first meals readily available or prepared and frozen; there could be very little time to shop or begin to figure out everyone’s dietary needs on day one when we all had to rest and unpack from two full days of travelling.  We rarely do fast food!
  • Accommodation of personal requests if possible:  clothing items to be “soft,” memory foam bed topper in the travel trailer AND the bedroom (on two different sizes of mattresses!), extra bottles of purified water and a water bottle she could fill herself, and, most importantly, a plan for how to handle her personal items safely that she would need to use right away.
  • All host bills paid and up-to-date, plenty of pet food and paper products available to delay shopping right away, our personal medications and supplements replenished, and home in general order, for example, no mail spilling over into her place setting at the kitchen table!  With our personal lives in order, we were ready for anything — well, almost!

Help the guest follow home avoidance procedures right away

  • Practice avoidance procedures as he or she is packing to leave his or her place of residence.  (More on this one below.)  Begin orientation to the new environment and procedures before you leave to provide repetition and aid compliance.  Expect breakdowns as this is hard stuff, totally new, and takes time-and-repetition to learn.
  • Be clear on what can and cannot come into your home.  We did not have any of our family member’s personal belongings come into the home the first two days.  This created tremendous stress for her as she had to set up her medications and supplements at a work station in the garage, have 2 sets of foot coverings (i.e. new and specially cleaned slippers for inside the house and her specially cleaned shoes for trips away from the house in the vehicle together).  We are grateful she generally complied yet there were breakdowns each day.  Finally we placed her specially cleaned bottles in double-freezer-bags in a remote closet.
  • When it was clear as we got on the road that my Aunt was struggling to organize her medications and supplements, we shopped online while still driving home for a new, weekly pill box with large compartments.  Once we set up the pill box (whilst sitting outside on a patio of course), this largely resolved the issue of opening bottles inside our home.
  • Purchase and specially clean NEW SETS OF CLOTHING that can be ready from that first shower through the next couple of days.  We never really know how many washings it will take to remove sizing and fragrances from clothing so this must be done in advance.  Your guest will not likely help pay for the cost of this accommodation.  This expense is for your safety.  I had to hang several items outside in the sun to rid them of the last bit of fragrance; this would have never worked if she was already here.  What would she wear in the meantime?
  • If possible, begin the special washing of your guest’s clothing in a laundry mat away from your home.  We washed all of her clothing for the 3-week trial visit with 1) fragrance-free detergent/fabric softeners and ammonia then 2) vinegar.  Some folks use borax with detergent.  While this did not remove all of the offending toxins completely, starting the laundry process away from home reduced the risk of contaminating our washer and dryer for further laundering at home.  This procedure would not work if your guest’s washer and dryer are in a water damaged building or if there is a history of highly fragranced products like GAIN detergent.  I hate the smell of that stuff!
  • Your guest cannot wear your clothing or use your personal items such as borrowing the use of a hair brush.  I had to sacrifice all clothing of mine that our family member wore; she either kept it or it was discarded when she left our home.  (I simply had not purchased enough clothing to meet all of her needs when things did not go as planned including some of the new items that turned out to be the wrong size!)  In the end, she had 6 sets of new clothing as follows: 2 pairs of slippers (travel trailer + home), 1 pair of water/summer shoes, 1 fleece jacket, one summer wrap, 6 pairs of underwear, 4 bralettes, 5 pairs of socks, 1 fuzzy robe, 1 pair of flannel pajamas, and 5 outfits.  Everything went with her when she had to return home.  Somehow, the Lord provided her needs.
  • Set up a travel bag of unscented personal products that most closely match that which your guest likes to use but meets your sensitivity requirements.  Having a personal set of toiletries aids compliance.  He or she cannot bring into your home items in which all surfaces cannot be cleaned; these items need to be replaced or their use deferred until later in the transition.  In the end I ended up purchasing or giving my Aunt a  soft toothbrush, similar type of toothpaste as she used at home, floss, hair brush, comb, travel hair dryer, facial/body cleanser, body puff, shampoo and conditioner, body lotion, and deodorant.  I added some of these items later when I realized what I forgot/she didn’t mention them or they GOT LEFT BEHIND in a campground bathroom that first stressful night of travelling!  Expensive mistake!
  • Have available to your guest their snacks, drinks, and favorite foods so that he or she can become independent as soon as possible in the little things.  I needed to prepare all meals since it was unwise to have our family member using the stove so any help in-between meals was very helpful.

If you must travel with your guest and follow avoidance procedures

  • Plan for an extra level of work and effort!  We travel with our meals and snacks prepared in advance and rarely eat fast food or take the time to eat in a restaurant when on the road.  This was new for my Aunt.  We ended up having longer and more frequent stops as a result, making for very long travel days.  Since our family member had considerable stress regarding her diet, I decided to make her a personal cooler of food and drinks each of the two days of travel.  This significantly added to my work load yet served to make her more independent.  This idea could also work at home if you have to be away for the day:  set up a lunch box or plate in the frig if he or she cannot perform the meal prep independently.

    Some of these procedures may not apply to you and your loved ones.  I hope that your guest can take care of his or her own needs so that you can focus on your own.  If he or she is willing to help with any of these procedures or take care of him/herself then you will have a tremendous blessing.  Our family member was sick with a serious medical condition and needed assistance from a caregiver.  No one else was helping her and we could not stand by to witness her continuing to fail without trying to help.  What we didn’t realize was that:  1) all of these procedures would provide daily structure to help her function better and 2) some of her problems came from living in a water-damaged condo! 

    All of her belongings were contaminated and worsening her medical condition manifest in cognitive, behavioral, emotional, and physical decline.  She would begin to detox during her time with us; her level of functioning would improve dramatically within that first day travelling then living in a clean environment of the travel trailer and our home.  Even if a person appears “healthy,” we have no idea the exposures that they will bring with them when they enter our home.  Have they had water damage at home that developed into mold?  At work?  Has he or she a toxin load from pesticides/herbicides or other chemicals that will begin to detox once living in a pristine environment?  We simply cannot see the mycotoxins and chemicals that can create sickness for any of us.  These elements may be of little to no consequence for hosts and hostesses who are healthy.  What happens when that gift of hospitality meets Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity?  You just might not want to go forward with having someone in your home.  And yes, this information could benefit more than just those with CIRS or MCS:  your guest could leave with the gift of restored health.  Awesome.  But what about you?

  • Each hotel room or travel trailer serves as a “mobile clean room.”  We don’t sit on any furniture until we have showered and changed clothing, quarantined all clothing from the day in a covered, plastic bin.  (Managing hotel rooms when dealing with CIRS/MCS is another topic that I have endured but will cover in another blog post.  One tip:  ask for a room that was not recently cleaned!  Then it won’t smell as bad from cleaners and air fresheners.)  Purses and wallets, etc. that cannot be wiped down remain in the locked vehicle.  We found that showering in campgrounds with newer bathrooms to be less stressful for compliance than the tiny bathroom and spaces of a travel trailer.  Soiled clothing is temporarily placed in plastic bags until it can be transported to the laundry plastic bin; discard the plastic bag.
  • Changes of clothing and toiletries must be ready to go before a day of travelling begins.  Similarly, a set of clothing and (quickly wiped down) toiletries must be prepared and put in place at home so everyone can shower and change clothing right away.
  • Any items used during travel such as pillows, blankets, jackets must stay in the vehicle until they can be cleaned at home.  They are considered to be contaminated from exposures on the road, public bathrooms, spaces for those of us most sensitive to these kinds of exposures.
  • Carry all medications and supplements for the day with you in your travel cooler so you don’t have to go back-and-forth into the travel trailer, luggage or storage areas.
  • Personal items and clothing are transported in containers that can be cleaned (not luggage; luggage is made with porous materials plus the multiple layers of its construction can harbor toxins which we cannot fully clean).  Single-ply cloth bags that can be laundered can work for clean, fragrance-free personal items.  My Aunt’s leather purse had to stay in a large plastic bag in outside storage during travel then in her staging area in the garage at home.  She was amazingly o.k. with these procedures, albeit stressed by them initially!

When your guest unexpectedly starts to detox in your clean living environment

  • The extent of this phenomenon was the most shocking experience of having a family member come stay with us.  She was now in a pristine environment with regular healthy meals, better hydration and medication compliance, restorative sleep, and less stress with family around to love and care for her.  She showered every day but continued to have a strong, noxious body scent.  Her body knew what to do and appeared to be using her skin to begin a detox process.  As a result, I began reacting negatively to this scent!  Immediately we double-laundered her pajamas, robe, and bed linens.  I did the best I could to help her as her primary caregiver while recovering myself after two long days of travel.  Will you have anyone to help you in case you encounter this phenomenon?
  • We decided not to have our guest attempt to bring any of her personal items from her condo into our home.  Our original plan was to re-launder her clothing from her condo so she could have more options but this was not to be.  I would not be handling any of her personal items (even with a mask and gloves on) that were still safely stored in our garage nor bringing any more of them into our home.  My husband would have to help her to go through bills and such outside on the back patio then have everyone wash up/change clothes afterward.
  • We asked her to shower twice per day but she simply could not, would not do this.  We questioned if she was changing both under-and-outer clothing with each shower which would be essential to dealing with this detox reaction.  I began to react to just sitting to her at our kitchen table with the windows open behind her!  My threshold for reactivity was plummeting.  A crisis was brewing.  What would you do?  You have worked extremely hard to make things work but things were not working!  Your guest is far from home.  Is there a backup plan?  For us there were family members participating in discussion but not in problem-solving action.  Tough situation indeed.
  • Keep the bedroom doors closed:  yours and the door to your guest’s room.  Turn up air purifiers in the home (as I hope that most of you reading this already have at least one!).
  • Start interim cleaning as able, especially in the bathroom and public places.  Make sure the floors are clean as well to help prevent your tracking stuff into your bedroom retreat.  All shoes are left near-or-outside the door to the home, garage.
  • As the person with CIRS/MCS, you must do whatever it takes to stabilize your health should it start to decline with a guest in your home.  I wore a charcoal mask when outside of our bedroom and kept as many windows open as possible despite the weather outside.  I took rescue remedies as able and made sure to keep up my fluid and nutritional intake.  I let my family member and others know what was going on, without blame, and spent less time with her unless it was outside.  I decided not to take her with me in the car for our safety, to prevent a bad reaction when I was driving or in a public place.  (She was not available to drive during this trip.)
  • We enlisted the help of other family members and friends.  My Aunt was able to attend a group meeting with a neighbor which provided some much-needed respite for me.

Initial remediation if your guest who started to detox has to leave

  • Send him or her home with a “care package” that includes all of the items that you purchased or loaned during his or her stay.
  • Give him or her any bed linens, towels, and any porous materials that he or she used OR DISCARD THEM.  If you are reacting to this person and his or her artifacts then why risk a chance exposure in the future?  Or contaminating your washer and dryer?  I became sensitized to her person and any amount of residual toxin in our home would have impeded my recovery process.  Fabrics are porous and I wonder if we can ever really clean them completely.  Yes, this gets really expensive.  Staying sick is even more expensive, eh?
  • Wear extensive personal protection equipment if you are the one to begin the remediation process:  an industrial mask (charcoal mask or at least an N95 one if you do not have it) rubber or disposable gloves, old clothing that you can wash  multiple times or discard, and a plan to shower completely then clean your shower are tips that come to mind.  Better yet, have someone else clean your home with your instructions!
  • Use your best mold cleaning product that you have been able to tolerate.  Some use Benefact or other products; we use a 1:8 ammonia-to-water solution.  Do not use bleach!  Clean every hard surface in his/her bedroom and throughout the home and allow to thoroughly dry.  Don’t forget the floors!  Consider cleaning highly exposed surfaces (such as the vinyl allergy cover on the mattress and pillows) twice.  Open the windows if the outside air is safe.
  • Develop a plan to clean upholstered furniture that suits your experience, situation.  Have you been able to wipe clean, vacuum, re-wipe upholstered furniture in the past or did you have to replace them?  It’s not worth losing the love of your significant other who has endured this crisis with you if you disagree on these remediation procedures.  You can also set any item out in the sun for a few days and see if it helps.
  • Stay away from the trash bin/dumpster where you have discarded items if at all possible.  If in a home, consider cleaning the can with the same solution used above, after the contents are hauled away on trash day.
  • Open the windows.  Some folks like to use essential oils to help sanitize the air in a living space.  I place some drops of tea tree oil on a cotton pad and place it in the room with the door closed to neutralize any residual, offensive odors.
  • Carpeting has no clear answers.  We opted for hard floors when I first was diagnosed with CIRS/MCS.  Sprinkling carpeting with baking soda then vacumming and repeating a few times may help.
  • Sanitize all surfaces in the bathroom.  Replace the shower curtain liner.
  • Consider ozonating the bedroom, car, or home as appropriate if able to do so.

As you will read in the blog post referenced above, the combination of our extensive preparation, procedures, and emergency interventions were not enough for us to continue to have our beloved family member in our home.  I went through a grieving process while still very sick as she was preparing to leave.  We all learned a lot and have no regrets for trying to make this arrangement work.  I expected success.  It was not to be.  She is now in the care of her friends and family that will be taking over her caregiver responsibilities for the foreseeable future while I recover from a terrible  setback.

Gratefully, I am recovering more with each passing day.  That’s the beauty of extreme avoidance procedures isn’t it?  It does help to restore our health really well in the beginning of a detox process and later on when we face a setback.  It doesn’t solve everything yet extreme mold avoidance is a powerful tool.  This test of having a guest in our home was worth it to give my Aunt the gift of renewed health.  I also hope that these tips and our experience helps you if you are considering helping someone.  Please let me know if you do, k?  JJ

 

 

2013 Livin Lite Camplite 16 DB for Sale!

Camplite, Livin Lite, aluminum, travel, trailer, camping, camper, available, mold avoidance, clean, chemical free, avoidance, sabbatical

 

As we explore our options for some upcoming changes in our lives, we are placing our beloved Tin Can Ranch up for sale.  This Livin Lite Camplite 16 DB is virtually mold and chemical free making it ideal for folks who are taking a health sabbatical or travelling with persons chemically sensitive.

Here is the listing.  Please contact me below with your email address with inquiries.  Take care and happy travels!  JJ

2013 Livin Lite Camplite 16 DB for Sale

The Extended Forcast is Good!

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.  Psalm 55:22

But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel.  Philippians 1:12

I am 2 days post surgical removal of 2 root-canaled teeth and THE CONVULSIONS ARE GONE!!!  Yipppeeee and praise the Lord!  This 3 years of daily hell for me and my beloved husband, Steve, is finally over!

While there is still much work to do to detox mercury toxicity and re-evaluate chronic Lyme and mold illnesses, I feel more optimistic that I will be able to tolerate those treatments someday.  Until this week, I was failing.  I was bedridden most every day with convulsive episodes.  The grief and impact was huge on everything from our finances to my aching neck.  My husband no longer got a full night of sleep and this illness had changed virtually every activity inside/outside of our home.  How would Steve find me when he came home from work?  Would he have to make me my pureed dinner and feed me again before bed tonight?  Carry me to the toilet?  Our hearts were weary after 3 years of this living hell.

Nine months ago I began investigating how two sore molars in the upper left section of my jaw might be impacting my health.  Four dentists and three oral surgeons, a cone beam CT, MRI, and pano plus regular x-rays later (including a consultation out of State) we had no objective data to guide us.  Everything looked “fine.”  The teeth had bothered me for over 13 years!  Fifteen years ago I had all my amalgam fillings removed but was never guided to chelate for mercury.  Were there silver filings containing mercury remaining underneath the crowns over these two teeth?  We will never know the answer to that question.  My saliva had started tasting metallic.  Eating started triggering the convulsive episodes.  With Steve’s support, we took an expensive leap of faith and pursued a dental solution.

Additionally, seven weeks before what would become the big day, I started eating only on the right side of my mouth.  Two and one-half weeks later I started a pureed diet to eliminate the chewing action that seemed to make things worse; all this was quite a feat since my struggle to get well led me to eat low oxalate, virtually dairy-free, and completely sugar/sweetener-free, gluten-free, and mold -free foods too!  Another two weeks later and 1 week before the surgery I noticed that using plastic utensils delayed the onset of convulsions after eating.  Even drinking my foods through a straw helped initially then ultimately triggered episodes.  I feared eating anything at all!  The only problem with that was hunger and thirst could also trigger convulsions or make them worse.  I felt trapped!

Three and one-half days before the dental surgery my doctor recommended trying an EMF deflecting device.  “It might help” he said, like so many other recommendations I had received all over the spectrum of traditional and alternative medical care.  After one such technology (a Rife machine called a Beam Ray) I tried 3 years ago to treat “Chronic Lyme,” the daily tic attacks started.  Within a year these episodes would escalate to waking seizure attacks then convulsive episodes lasting 2 to 5 hours per day.  We had tried to shield me from wireless technology in our home in the past yet the results were initially helpful then inconsistent.  This time the GEOMACK from Spain reduced the intensity of the convulsions 50%.  That reduction gave me a tiny boost of strength that I needed to physically and mentally prepare for surgery.  My husband got some much needed sleep as well!  Could their be an electrical cause after all?  (See this blog for more anatomy and discussion.)

The morning of the surgery went as usual.  Convulsive episodes began shortly after opening my eyes and periodically as we prepared to leave the house.  Seizure zips ripped through my hungry and thirsty frame as my beloved drove us to the hospital.  We were still reeling from the large check we had to carry with us since the oral surgeon insisted on performing the extractions near a crash cart, I guess.  And after some prayers, many silly jokes and one last shake/rattle/and roll with placement of the IV in my arm, the time had come to let go and not look back.  We reviewed my situation with the anesthesiologist and oral surgeon, surgical tech, and several nurses.  They were not to abort the mission if I seized under anesthesia!  Just wait a moment and get the job done.

I’d like to say that I woke up in a calm, blissful state but that simply was not the case.  I became nauseous and pain management was a problem over the next day and one-half.  Oh well.  One thing was certain:  THERE WERE NO SEIZURES OR CONVULSIONS!   The “battery effect” of dissimilar metals in 2 adjacent crowns over root-canaled teeth WERE FRICKIN’ GONE!  No more tazoring of my brain would continue.  And hey, if there was hidden infection in the root-canaled teeth then the problems caused therein are now also “history.”  The hell is over.

My job now includes retraining my brain to relax when falling asleep instead of bracing for impact.  My job now includes remembering all of the relaxation techniques I used to train my patients in psychiatric hospitals to deal with anxiety.  I need to rework those memory pathways and feelings of impending doom that followed me, waited for me every night, every morning, every time when I was exposed to noxious stimuli, or even on the clothing or breath of my beloved anytime, anywhere.  Hey, no problemmo.  I am ready to live and the extended forecast is good!

Thank you and big hugs to those of you who have followed my story for any length of time,  You have been an important part of my lifeblood to go on when I could not.  Sometimes my husband could not be home with me and I was alone, feeling terrified mostly of even greater suffering and it came.  The worst episodes were never captured on YouTube videos because my warrior husband was needed to hold me tightly to keep me from greater harm instead of holding onto a camera.  Sometimes the Lord was silent even when I cried out to Him when breathless, facing death again and again when my breathing stopped.  When He did speak I gained the courage I needed to face the next trial.  In the end, death was not my greatest fear.  Dying without my Heavenly Husband was.

But you know what?  I made it through.  Steve made it through.  A new chapter in our lives is about to begin.  I’m going to take some time now and regroup.  I am very weak.  An infusion of my Jesus is needed.  The warmest embrace with my beloved must follow.  And really good food cannot be far behind.  After tomorrow the putty d’ jour will be history!  Yeah God!

Pureed Tri-Color Carrots, Cauliflower, Bacon, Ground Round, Potato Chips, Homemade Broth, and Sea Salt
Pureed Organic Tri-Color Carrots & Cauliflower, Bacon, Organic Beef & Potato Chips, Homemade Broth, and Sea Salt in the Recovery Room!

With love, JJ

But the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.  Psalm 18:18b-19

Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.  Psalm 55:22

UPDATE:  The holiday from convulsive episodes did not last, unfortunately.  There were many benefits from having these two infected teeth removed:  significantly less mouth pain, less congestion in the upper shoulder and neck, decreased TMJ symptoms, decreased auditory anomalies, reduced ringing in my ears, and more.  Then there was a miracle:  our insurance company covered most of the $10,000 bill.  Amazing!  :J

If I get to see you . . .

 

If I get to see you in the coming year, please understand that I will be singing songs of joy in my heart!  Social isolation has been one of the most devastating effects of serious illness from these past 3 years.  Should the Lord allow the circumstances for me to get out for an activity other than medical or a trip to the grocery store, I CELEBRATE!!!

So if I might ask for a few accommodations when we get together and you graciously oblige and I still get sick then blame any negative symptoms you may witness in me as the consequence of illness and not you!  Very few folks live in a “clean room” like we have here at home.  I did not clean at this level either until it was a matter of survival.  Steve did not engage in my extreme mold/contaminant behavior strategies until two years ago.  These strategies are necessary for this season of our lives together.  Overall I do better when we follow certain guidelines resulting in less reactivity, the worst of which are fewer seizure-like and convulsive episodes which continue daily.  We are implementing some “due diligence” from what we have learned to reduce my suffering with the goal of eliminating this illness altogether.  We believe that the Lord has allowed these trials for mysterious reasons and ultimately His glory.  He is good!

Both Steve and I recognize that there are definite signs that I am getting better.  We have trained our eye to search for even tiny changes in the pattern and intensity of episodes, pain, and reactivity to keep us hopeful that one day I will be well.  It is happening!  So please don’t be discouraged when either one of us might mention that I had a rough night or you witness a significant setback.  Recovery is a long, jagged line of progress, setbacks, and lateral “bunny trails.”  The overall trending is positive!

The most important accommodations that would be helpful if we get together are as follows.

Meeting in a public place:  Select a place with less noise and less loud music.  Newer buildings are generally better than older ones; please no historic buildings or ones with known basements or crawlspaces and history of flooding.  Restaurants that make their own food with fresh ingredients are better able to modify dishes to meet my food sensitivities.  This rules out most fast food places!  Letting me know the name and phone number of the establishment ahead of time will allow me to contact them with my needs and make the experience of ordering food more pleasant for both of us!  Please do not wear cologne or perfume that day.  I will need to greet you and depart with a “virtual hug” to avoid exposures to hidden elements that might be on your clothing or coat.  Forgive me if I sometimes forget this step in the joy of the moment when I see you!

Meeting in your home:  This is still a situation that I avoid since there are too many variables at this time that may cause serious problems.  I cannot come over if you have 1) ever had flooding in your home of any kind from a leaky toilet to a wet basement or 2) have older carpeting.  If you are willing to have me then please remove all fragranced products at least the day before we are scheduled to be together (such as plug-in or spray air fresheners, candles whether lit or not, potpourri, etc.)  Keeping windows cracked open in cooler weather or open in warmer weather to allow fresh air inside always helps (unless someone is burning something nearby outside!)  I prefer to visit in the area of your home without carpeting and sit on non-upholstered furniture.  Wood, plastics, and leather are best.

Staying overnight:  If we are invited to stay overnight then we will either bring our own linens, blankets and towels, or ask that you wash and dry everything in fragrance-free detergent and softeners (including dryer sheets).  Please replace a moldy shower curtain liner with a new one!  I will bring most of my own food and hand soap where possible.  Providing non-cured, non-smoked meat cooked only with salt, plain oatmeal, plain salad-type vegetables or zucchini/cauliflower without seasonings will be a HUGE treat!  I will always bring the extra condiments and food that I can tolerate.

Yeah, I know that this is a lot for a busy household to prepare!  Thank you for helping us out with this stuff.  Steve and I are exceedingly grateful to have recently obtained a travel trailer which has helped manage all of this tremendously well.  (It is a lot of work for us too, I tell ya!)  Both of our families and many close friends now live out of State so travel is necessary to see them.  This single change in our mode of travel has allowed me to leave our home overnight much more safely and go places from which I have been cut off for most of the past three years.  We are humbled and blessed!  I really like having a mobile safe house that has already opened up my world, provided privacy during setbacks on the road, and aided sleep with a really comfortable bed that can be hard to find when away from one’s own humble abode at home.  Thank you Jesus!

Visiting Daniel and Elizabeth in Alabama
Visiting Daniel and Elizabeth in Alabama

 

We are hoping that the ongoing extreme avoidance and dietary strategies are temporary; some level of precaution albeit more relaxed than the current level will likely continue for some time.  How long will we need to do all of this?  We simply do not know.  We believe the Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) is due to mercury toxicity and we finally have the correct treatment protocols to get me well.  I have excellent medical guidance and a proven treatment plan to follow.  We are hopeful that I will be in better health within this year!  I AM GOING TO GET WELL!!!

And that Gentle Reader, is much to celebrate!  JJ