Proverbs – Page 2 – Jesus is for the Wounded

The Turning Point

Published on October 4, 2014October 4, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded3 Comments

When you start to leave hell, it’s important to take stock of where you have been and where you are then leave all of your baggage at the turning point.

Hi Gentle Reader. This is my gentle wisdom to you as I gratefully and graciously turn the corner after 3 years of wretched illness. Much grieving has already gone before me and my beloved Steve. Much loss has already pruned that which is no longer critical to our lives. Much angst at our Lord’s merciful throne of grace has established Who is most important in our lives and that He was leading us through all of this. Much dashing of hopes in false turning points along the way has produced endurance for what appears to be the last leg of this race. And yes, much joy has returned despite the jagged line that is normal in the recovery phase. That’s o.k. WE HAVE HOPE!!!

Briefly, I am experiencing 50% improvement in my health after beginning treatment for very high mercury levels. This process will require a slow titration of chelating agents, detoxification with the gentlest of methods, much rest, and humility. Humility? Oh yeah, humility to stay watchful for the Lord’s leading each step of the way and to continue to lean on Him as my own strength returns. My husband has proven himself again and again as the Lord’s instrument, a capable spiritual leader in my life. I have many examples in my life how pride has gone before my downfall, you know (Proverbs 16:18). I don’t want any more “slips and trips” anymore particularly of my own creation!

As I have started to feel better and do more my devotional time has diminished. This is not good. So in response to this turning point, I aim to spend more time in the Word than I have in the past when feeling reasonably well. I aim to keep practicing gratitude: holding lightly any material blessings, fruits of my labors, times of fellowship and the like. I aim to smile more and complain less. After all, I faced death many, many times! These days the gift of time and space, my talents and gifts, and the people/places/things around me are a bonus. I have never believed that I deserved either the good or bad things that have happened in my life. They simply “are.” They simply “were.” It is with great wonder that I aim to explore each day for what may come.

How can anyone really see beyond a turning point anyways when he or she has never been on a given journey before? If we worry about it then we have chosen to believe a lie. No one knows the future so why make up something bad? Why not something good? I aim to squelch what is false with what is true from God’s Word:

³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6)

Nuff said. Steve and I enjoyed a long walk in the rain this evening with our pup. This picture portrays my heart inside. God is good. All the time. God is good. JJ

Just Julie Treatment Update

Published on September 10, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded5 Comments

Brief update: I seem to be in what an airline pilot might call a “holding pattern” lately. When I can break through the perpetual feeling of sickness and get myself out of the house, even if it is to our backyard, there’s always a backlash of noxious symptoms. Recently my chiropractor recommended a heavy metals blood test and after a month of getting the paperwork and procedures right we have the results: high potassium and very high mercury. Yipes! So my husband and I are investigating chelation therapy. I have an appointment with a Doctor of Osteopathy who provides chelation and other medical, nutritional interventions. In the meantime I’ll check with my family practice physician and see if there’s enough data to proceed with caution. We will be covering this in prayer. For most folks chelation is a difficult journey. But hey, I’m familiar with that already, eh?

More details: The daily 2 to 5 hour waking seizure attack episodes continue. One day each week the episodes exceed 8 hours on and off during which I am largely bed bound. If I have pushed myself to complete heavy gardening tasks or more than about 2 hours of appointments outside of our home then the episodes can increase to 12 hours. The rest of those days is pretty worthless. I have at least two “worthless” days at home each week anyways, regardless of my activity level. These are days where I pretty much take advantage of the lovely “3 hots and a cot” afforded by our home. I may see you here at the computer and mope through other very sedentary tasks. Dinner may or may not get prepared. Thank goodness for my homemade freezer meals and frozen burritos for Steve on days like these!

The normal sleep-wake cycle remains elusive for me. When I do go to bed around midnight it is usually because Steve has carried me there in the neurological collapse-mode of a seizure attack. This happens twice per week. I’ll pass out at some point thereafter only to awaken in less than 4 hours, usually with another episode of tazoring. Many days the tazoring wakes me up in the middle of the night. Good grief! That’s what happened last night prompting this blog. When I do wake up in the middle of the night I have to find a way to yank myself out of bed or they will continue indefinitely! This also happens twice per week on average. The other nights I endure an episode sometime between sunset and midnight then I am wide awake until 4:00 a.m. or so. If I can wait until I feel sleepy then the episodes falling asleep will usually be shorter and sometimes not at all. I love it when the latter happens! The best schedule for me then is to be up late, go to bed and sleep until noon-ish, endure a shorter waking tazoring then attempt to move forward with the day. I love days when I do not have any appointments that disrupt this schedule!

The only “treatment” I can tolerate at the moment is a strict diet, coconut oil, colon hydrotherapy to detox, and extreme mold avoidance. Occasionally I can take a short walk late in the afternoon or use our elliptical for 5 minutes, usually in the middle of the night before bed. My diet is mold-free, gluten-free, sugar and sweetener-free, dairy-free, and low oxalate. The latter has produced some detox reactions that appear to be beneficial; bone broth is incredibly nurturing to my digestive tract. Most medications, pharm-grade supplements, and typical detox/immunity foods (such as lemon water, probiotics, ground flax seeds or oil) produce convulsions. Not good. This syndrome has a name: Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. The good news is that my gut health is better than it has been in a long time. That tells me that the dietary strategies are working! There are times when I feel more alert and my thinking is clearer. At times my memory is better. To my delight the creative juices are flowing again as reflected in my latest designs at Trinity Jewelry by Design. And sometimes I am even able to make jewelry during the daytime instead of just with the crickets outside the window of my cute little studio area . . .

October 11th will mark the 3 year anniversary of becoming sick. (For more on that story, see the About Julie page.) I’ve been off from work for 2 1/2 years now, the longest since I started working in at the Penny Candy Place as a teenager. No work or disability income is in sight. The Lord has provided for my every need through my gracious husband and His grace. Through it all Steve and I have been challenged to the ends of our human strength through unbelievable trials yet somehow feel closer to each other and to the Lord than ever before. Steve is my hero! We trust in Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 41:3, Psalm 71:14, Revelation 21:1-8 and more. The Lord is faithful to His Word: we have seen it, we hope in it, and His living Word carries us through it all. Even in those split seconds when it feels like my heart, my breathing, and my brain waves have ceased to function and I do not know if life will continue for me, I am no longer afraid. That’s how real the hope of heaven, the reality that my eternal life has already begun as a child of the King, the loose grip I have on the things of this earth are to me. Oh Gentle Reader, can you say that too?

So many unknowns fill our days. We can respond with woe and fear or we can respond with FAITH. And our faith is only as strong as that to which we apply it. I hope that you will join me or have put your faith in the omnipotent God over all. Yes, I wrote all.

Nothing less will do when faced with the next, er, bite in the shorts. You know I had to say it didn’t you?! :]

Where do you think I was taking you?

Published on August 27, 2014August 27, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

A dear sister in Christ shared with me a story today of another time in which she was struggling in her walk with the Lord. A year later she ran into an old friend who was in a time of severe struggle. As she listened closely to her friend she was reminded of how the Lord gave her victory the previous year and how he gave her an image that made a lasting impression.

Picture this: you are walking behind, faithfully following the Lord Jesus Christ who is walking in front of you. Your hands are placed firmly on the back of His shoulders as He leads you forth. You are not trying to get ahead of Him or push Him faster down the road. But you are straining to look over His shoulders, attempting to peer around His sides, jumping to see over His head. Where is He taking me? Why don’t my circumstances show me what lies ahead for me? Why can’t I see where we are going, the point to all of this agony?

Now that doesn’t look much like following in faith now does it? Yeah. I have been there too. Trying to get ahead of the One Who loves me and has carefully crafted my life as His own child, under the protection of His loving arms. Instead I am going to remember the image that my friend said came next: she gently looked down, perhaps drawing a little closer to His mighty frame, and simply walked behind Him in His footsteps. She let the Lord lead her through the trials and in due time they ended. And a year later her tenderness for her friend encouraged both of them. I am sure of it.

My friend shared that in her heart long ago she heard the words, “where do you think I was taking you?” Where indeed. May our answer always be, “anywhere you lead my Jesus.” Anywhere. JJ

And then you just hope to move sideways

Published on May 9, 2014May 11, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

Here’s a brief update on my brother, Michael, and me with a prayer request:

At this moment Mike is moving from an acute, inpatient rehabilitation facility to one of the lowest-rated nursing homes in the city of Detroit. The social workers claim that of the 35 facilities they have contacted, St. Francis is the only one who would accept him. The reason? He is “Medicaid Pending” and does not have any other insurance. We are sad and concerned.

Today Mike’s rehabilitation stops until Medicaid is approved. Today Mike learns how the indigent of our society are left behind in facilities located across the street from an abandoned buildings in scary neighborhoods. Today Mike decides whether or not he is a FIGHTER. I only got to talk to him briefly before the transport vehicle came to wheel him out of his private room and begin the next leg of his recovery journey. He has made tremendous gains in cognition, swallowing, self care, transferring from one seat to another, and even walking. Mike has had close monitoring of his medical condition, medications, and test results. The plan to address a complex cyst on a kidney remains unclear as he moves away from his rehabilitation and medical specialists. None of them go to the new facility. It is unlikely that he will receive any rehabilitation therapies from this point forward until his Medicaid is approved. We are sad and concerned.

We are hoping that this transfer is a move sideways and not the beginning of a downward slide. At this point I do not believe that he knows that he will be receiving fewer services. He is concerned about the facility location and the comfort level of his fiancé visiting him in an unsafe neighborhood. Gratefully our cousin, Lisa, is an optometrist who sees patients there every 6 weeks. She has known the staff there for 10 years. We are hoping that this helps place Mike in a favorable light. Lisa has also offered to accompany Mike’s fiancé, also named Lisa, on her first visit to the new place. I am exceedingly grateful for this. I wish I could be there too. I cannot go at this time.

I had my own questionable “move” this past weekend. Difficulty breathing and bizarre, violent seizure attack episodes landed me in the emergency room. I received “treatment” and returned home; the last three days have been marginal yet better in some ways. I saw my family practice physician yesterday and was able to put together a few plans to tighten up my treatment plan. Unfortunately I had to escape outside for fresh air THREE TIMES due to the mold aerosols in his water-damaged office building! Did I mention that I was already wearing a charcoal mask? Geez. I was re-reading the Clinical Summary this morning from my visit and collapsed at the kitchen table into a pile of seizure-like tics. Perhaps the aerosols followed me home on the porous copy paper? Who knows. My gracious husband has seen me through it all, threw out the papers this morning and opened the bay windows to help me revive. Thank you my beloved Steve!

Sometimes it looks like things are going downhill when actually we have just stepped a little to the side. Many hidden blessings have come from my brother’s stroke: developing a closer relationship with his fiancé, rekindling a friendship with my amazing cousin Lisa, and seeing a few family members step forth to love on my brother are wonderful. And in my own situation I now have a biotoxin illness doctor who is willing to go to bat for me when headed to the ER on a Sunday in addition to an incredible husband who is my kinsman redeemer. Steve is willing to love me, care for me, and defend my special needs when needed on my journey to wellness. He believes me that this crap-ola-ski is NOT all in my head and is helping me overcome it too. In both my brother’s and my own situation, I am seeing new expressions of love that have not been there in our lives before. Cool beans. Thank you Jesus!

Gentle Reader, would you kindly pray this scripture with me? I pray that we will lean on the Lord, trust in the Lord, and have courage to move forward when-and-as the Lord leads these next few weeks. I need to rest in the tender care of my Jesus and not get ahead of the work He is accomplishing in today. After all, I do not want to miss the richness of His tender care, His presence in each breathing moment. Such a joy it is to know that He is here carrying Mike this afternoon in that transport van. Such a joy it is to know that He is here too with me and you carrying our thoughts and prayers to our Heavenly Father for His wise care according to His Divine plan for our lives. Perhaps sideways is a good place to be right now.

Want some bulletproof coffee? Let’s go out on the patio and sit for awhile. The sun is shining this afternoon and the narcissus, tulips, hyacinths, and buttercups are blooming!