In the present moment

A little something from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (2004)

Rest with me a while.  You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days.  The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty.  Look neither behind you nor before you.  Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion.  Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.

I designed time to be a protection for you.  You couldn’t bear to see all your life at once.  Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you.  Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts of My Presence.  The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment.  I am with you, watching over you wherever you go.  (Page 186)

Psalm 143:8

New International Version (NIV)

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Genesis 28:15

New International Version (NIV)

15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Sometimes you spin your wheels

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .”  Charles Dickens

I have so much for which to be grateful this day.  Despite the absolute insanity of my days, I can still rise above the mud and muck and see the sun shine on a few blessings.  I get to see that the Lord goes before me, ordering my steps even before I realize that I am not stumbling but walking humbly in His grace.  I am so glad that He is gentle with me.  After a rough night there is usually a great nap within a day.  After much confusion, the Lord uses a new friend to point me in the right direction.  After a very long wait to see a medical professional, there is a sweet phone call to another dear friend while waiting in the lobby.  After contracting a serious illness, there are new sojourners to acknowledge me, walk with me, light the way to hope.  And after so much unrest there are peaceful moments that transcend my understanding!

Nothing is truly wasted in God’s economy if we but keep our eyes focused on Him.  We must press on.

If your situation stinks, get your mind out of the muck and consider coming to Jesus.  Get into His Word, the Bible, and you will find what you need.  He is waiting.  You can have an eternal focus that will transcend this day.  Seriously.  Psalm 23 lifts me up every time.

Nissan Frontier on a bad day!
Some serious mud on a bad day!

 

Now that's better!
Now that’s better!

The German Shepherd Gets It

All we have is this moment in time.  I mean who can make sure a birthday cake comes out right tomorrow when it is today?  Who can redo a soggy flower bed from last year on a wintery day?  The best strategy is to stay in the moment where we can do our best to be mindful of the Lord and if He leads, do our best work, best thinking, best living.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

These themes were revealed today by our German shepherd dog, Elle.  I decided to push the limit of my activity level and do a few things outdoors in the heat.  After making it through my husband’s kayak race at the Fort Wayne Riverfest, I was very warm, straining to function and all-around uncomfortable.  Nonetheless, since I was still covered with sunscreen and bug spray so when I got home, I figured this would be a good time to replant 2 pots, feed our acid-loving plants in the patio garden, and so on before coming into the house to take a shower.  Elle was outside with me doing the things she likes to do too:  sniff, sniff, sniff!  Not 15 minutes had gone by before our generally obedient pup was gone from my watchful eye.  “Whhhhhhit,” I called.  No dog.  She usually comes racing around the house back to me when I whistle for her.  Hmmmm.

But of course!  It’s very humid and above 80 degrees F outside today.  The clouds are long gone and she was panting rather hard not long after joining me in the yard.  Guess the sip of water from the garden hose wasn’t enough for her.  Elle had taken herself for a swim!  She loves to “play hippo” as my husband calls it, in the neighborhood pond behind our property.  She stays in the water long enough to cool her belly then wanders out into the public area around the pond to sniff out some rabbit tracks and inspect the perimeter of our neighbor’s backyard.  I whistled a little louder.  Yeah, a wet dog came a running!

Julie Spring Flowers 015

The German shepherd gets it.  She got hot.  She wanted relief.  She went for a swim in the pond and came back to her usual activities thereafter.  Oh to be able to think like a dog sometimes!  Elle keeps it simple.  Not me.  I continued to pot up some vinca flowers despite the sweat running into my eyes causing tremendous burning, first the right eye and then the left.  “I can’t stop,” I tell myself, “because I would have to go into the house to wash my hands then go to the bathroom and get distracted by 5 other things and never get back outside to finish if I do.”  Geez.  In the 12-Step programs they used to call that “stinking thinking.”  To do first that which is most important is another slogan from my ACOA days.  Maybe I don’t trust myself when I’m feeling crummy?  Guess I haven’t learned to apply all of the slogans yet.  Guess I’m still struggling with a pared down version of Matthew 6:34 as well.  Forget worrying about tomorrow, I’m stressed about the next moment!

The significance of this behavior goes beyond the sweat in my eyes.  I am also dealing with and increase in noxious symptoms from a short course of antibiotics for an infection.  Add to that the aftermath of two terrible episodes of seizure attacks before and after an MRI yesterday, broken sleep, heat intolerance requiring me to leave the races before some additional events, and low blood sugar,  it seems like I should be inside the house taking care of myself anyways.  Sigh.  But I want to work in my garden!

I want to do it all and it hurts me sometimes when I do.  In doing so, I get in my own way of feeling good.  So I’m going to be gentle with myself as I work on this tendency and apply some Biblical truth that will last, will transform me.  Let’s see, at the time I am writing this the internet connection went down.  I copied the draft into a word document so I wouldn’t lose my precious thoughts.  This means that I can’t search some fancy Bible verse website for just the right verse to get me moving in the right direction.  It also means that I must go and get out the Big Book itself.  Hmmmmm again.  I haven’t had my quiet time with the Lord yet today.  Perhaps you can guess, gentle reader, what needs to happen next?

Seeya later.  It’s time my moment counts for Him and not me.  We’ll talk later.

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Addendum:  As soon as I turned off the computer the Holy Spirit gave me the verse before the one above.  Thank you Lord

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33

Yup, Hanging in There

Leaning on Proverbs 3:5-6 today as I face the reality that is mine.  Then again, only the Lord knows the path, the bunny trails, the destination and the ice cream stops along the way.  Ice cream.  Hummmm.  I sure hope there’s ice cream in my future!

LymeTimeline

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart     and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,     and he will make your paths straight.  (NIV)

Enough Weirdness Already!

I realize the last posting was a bit weird.  Please forgive me.  This is how my mind works sometimes:  trying to be funny, sincere, and well, express myself in some creative way.  The result this week:  an odd blog posting!

And now for today.  The Lord is laying on my heart the reality that I may not be able to return to my profession of occupational therapy.  To work in healthcare requires an incredible ability to serve others under stressful circumstances; work in environments laden with noxious smells, microorganisms, temperature and sound variations; meet a wide range of physical demands from extensive sitting to heavy lifting; and to continuously learn, apply, and re-evaluate extensive amounts of technical/scholarly information on a daily basis.  This is impossible with the ongoing neurological complications of Lyme Disease and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome.  On the positive side, the need to be adaptable, resourceful, and creative in OT has graciously remained during this time of illness.  These skills have been instrumental in helping me cope with the chronic illness that continues.  The other skills come and go.  Maybe they will come back?  Who knows.  This is a big realization.

Thankfully I do not need to make a decision about my career this evening!  (However I do keep my licensing and continuing education requirements current, you know.)  The Lord is also laying on my heart my next project within my home business, Trinity Jewelry by Design, so I will focus on that for the next few months.  I’m thinking of developing some sports-related products that may be attractive to the kayak paddling community.  If some additional research looks promising, I may move forward quickly now that it’s canoe and kayaking season in much of the United States.  I do continue to learn a lot about using the internet, my online shop, networking, and the administrative requirements of a home business.  Watch this blog for new developments as you will be among the first to get the news!

Since Steve and I never really know the stability of his employment as they undergo more changes this year, we remain open to the larger issues of where we will live and what work will carry him into retirement.  We are not concerned about these types of unknowns, really.  It would be challenging if the Lord leads Steve in any career moves at this time in our lives yet we both have experienced successful job changes and relocations under a variety of positive and negative circumstances.  Jesus is already there, ahead of us in space and time with a plan for our lives.  So glad for that!  For example, I lived in the suburbs of the 3rd largest city in the US (Chicago) before I moved to marry Steve in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area.  In a city .04% the size of the Chicagoland area, I found the best husband, best doctor, best home, best quality of life, and best Bible teacher that I have ever had in my life!  I had no idea all this was possible!  Wow.  God is amazing and provides for our every need no matter where we are on the map.  (Proverbs 3:5-6) Very humbling, for sure.

So enough of the weirdness.  Enough of the need to know.  Enough of the need to control this or that.  Enough of the worry and strife.  I am going to stay in the moment and enjoy the crazy thunderstorm outside no matter what affect it may have on my illness or even if it blows out the power and this blog is lost forever.

I think I will be prudent and sign off now . . .  :J