Recovery from Serious Illness: Lyme, CIRS, & More – Page 103

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Published on February 22, 2014February 23, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Therefore, send not to ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. (John Donne, 1624. Meditation 17. Devotions upon urgent occasions.)

Such is the reflection of these famous words scripted by John Donne and later repeated by Ernest Hemmingway in one of his most famous works of literature. The intent of each author is to emphasize the interdependence of humanity; no man can truly live or function as an island. Whether we live or die, honor God or blaspheme His name, our actions at some point will touch the lives of others around us given time and opportunity.

Case in point: I’ll never forget that day in Dominicks, a grocery store in the west suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. It was my day off from work and I was picking up a few groceries before heading home. I’m not sure why I was dressed up while running a few errands . . . I do recall wearing my nice and warm, long wool coat to fend off the early Spring chill still lingering outside. Suddenly at the end of the aisle was my good friend’s dad! He said a cherry “hello” and explained that he was in town visiting for some family occasion. Mr. Y. always had a gracious way about him: asking permission to tell you another story or joke before parting ways. He laughed about me humoring an older person by talking with him or something like that then shared a quick note to give his regards to my husband. I looked him straight in the eye. He had no idea.

Immediately Mr. Y knew something was wrong. I walked closer to him, recognizing that I was about to open my heart in the middle of a grocery store aisle! My former spouse was discovered in an affair less than 3 weeks before. Intervention from our church had begun and my life was in turmoil as my heart was still reeling in crisis mode. It didn’t help that my grandmother had also died and I was in the middle of facilitating the refinancing of our home (not knowing if I would be living there in the future or not). All of that stuff was about me and my drama. What I did not expect was the look on Mr. Y’s face when I told him my story. Do you know that look in the movies when someone has just been punched in the stomach so hard the person could not breathe? The smile on his face turned to anguish. He could not speak.

Mr. Y’s reaction showed me the reality of love between the body of believers or those who call Jesus Christ Lord and Savior. We bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). We know what it means from a human level, a heart level, and a violation of God’s plan for us when a brother in Christ falls. Craig probably never realized that his actions affected so many people and perhaps did not care. This was astounding to me. He was a leader in our Bible church and a gifted Sunday school teacher. Craig excelled in his work in the mental health field, loved working out, and was quite good at photography. He loved a good philosophical discussion and we had many. It is a matter of history that my coming to faith in Christ was facilitated by these very sessions: Craig helped answer many of my questions and led us to both a seeker-friendly church then a smaller, more intimate body of believers. I got saved because I dated Craig. In that Bible church is where I had met Mr. Y and became good friends with his daughter, Deb. Friends like this are closer than my own family at times.

So where am I going with all of this? When I am home alone every day, not even leaving the house for days on end, of course it is easy to forget the love of dear friends and family in my life. Sure the pup looks up at me with soft brown eyes when I walk into the kitchen but it’s just not the same! My intended beloved, Steve, is away from home a lot and often into the early evening. Since I don’t feel well most of the time I just stay home if I don’t have an appointment or urgent need for food! This week was particularly dry in this regard. As it turns out, most of the week was devoted to adjusting to a new treatment we’re hoping will eliminate the daily seizure-like episodes. I slept or moped about most of the week anyways; I didn’t notice that I was by myself as the quiet was itself healing medicine. When I come out of this fog of late and I’m still isolated at home, I must remember that I am totally never alone.

Do you have this confidence Gentle Reader? We are connected by this blog. For that I am humbled and honored, that you have taken the time to step closer to me. We probably resonate some on the issues of life or you would not have chosen to stop by when so many other bloggers have their own yada yada yada to share. Our connection will be even more meaningful to me if I know that it goes beyond my stories and our simple humanity to the very essence of what gives meaning to life: a shared faith in God through His son, Jesus Christ. If you do not yet have the peace, love, and joy that comes from knowing the Lord intimately then I invite you to step before the throne of grace today. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and seek Him with a sincere heart through the Bible, His words. When we repent and invite Jesus into our hearts we receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit; we are never alone again. Please tell me what you find, k?

For those of you who share the love of Christ already: I look forward to meeting with you one day! Whether in this life or the next, we’re going to have a great time celebrating the glorious riches of a life surrendered to our King. Standing in the presence of the Lord will wash away our tears and troubles bringing joy beyond what we could ever see today. May the glimpses of His holiness and glory in the goodness that surrounds each of us sustain you, encourage you, and lift you up until we arrive in our eternal home. Therein the bell will toll with tales of triumph for all of us. Such a sweet sweet sound that will be!

Like a River Glorious

Published on February 20, 2014February 20, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded6 Comments

In his first solo CD, Huntley Brown clinked the keys of a grand piano with such magnificent flow that it sounded like the rushing waters of a mighty river. Check it out yourself on You Tube at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up1ygB0ZYes I first heard this amazing piece when he was first performing in churches across the United States about 20 years ago. This native born Jamaican had surely witnessed the glory of majestic waters crashing upon the sandy beaches of his homeland. Yes! I can picture it. How about you?

The imagery of a river is meaningful to me. When I was a child I fell into a river when helping groom a trail along the Clinton River in Michigan. It was part of a day camp experience and I was scared then upset because I had to stay in my muddy, wet clothes for the rest of the day! Oh the trials of childhood!

Trials indeed. When I would break down into tears as a young girl my brother, Mike, would taunt me mercilessly. He stood in front of me with the palms of his hands facing upwards and sneered, “cry me a river!!!” I burned with anger. He had no idea the pain underneath those tears that finally spilled down onto my face after holding so much hurt inside: hurt with no safe place to go. I had endured two of three sexual abusers by this age: the damage was done. No river could contain my tears, or at least that is how it felt, should the “dam ever break open.”

Flash forward 40 years. The abusers are now deceased and forgiven; my heavenly Father has filled the hurt with His amazing grace and love. I married my intended beloved and he introduced me to kayaking on the rivers of Fort Wayne, Indiana. We began on the water together in a Hobie Oasis (i.e. a pedal-driven kayak) until I progressed to a solo Think Fit Sea Kayak. By October of 2011, I was in the best physical shape of my life despite an underlying chronic pain condition and had upgraded to a beginner surf ski kayak: the Stellar SR. For almost three years my husband and I had enjoyed kayaking with a local recreational group on Tuesday nights all summer through the early Fall. The wonder of the rivers and waterways we explored together eventually changed my perception of them; after all I had grown up by the polluted Detroit River, downriver from the steel mills! Rivers? Yuck! Boating on the water back then for me meant exploring the Five Great Lakes and clear blue inland lakes of Michigan by speedboat not human-powered slo-mo vessels!

Well who knew that Indiana was so beautiful? We witnessed young deer up close, sneaking to the edge of the water for a drink and Great Blue Herons feeding their young in the tops of trees. Paddling with a gaggle of 20 or more colorful kayaks with double-bladed paddles gently sliding through the water was a really cool sight to see. For the first time in my life I felt “cool!” The evening excursions were sweetened by the chocolate chip and peanut butter monster cookies from a fellow kayaker as the sun was setting over the boat launch at the end of the day. The sunset is simply glorious on the waters of a river winding through the woodland . . .

It sure is a curious thing that the most significant episode of illness in my life would begin after kayaking in a local reservoir and river. The complicated course of events that followed prevented me from all but limited excursions on the water for the next two and one-half years. I’ve now sold both kayaks mentioned here and we have replaced them with solo and tandem outrigger canoes. My balance skills have suffered of late so the Hawaiian-style outrigger provides stability with maximum performance. After all, Steve is a competitive kayak racer so we are grateful to have fast and great gear along with really cool looking boats! Lord willing, I look forward to getting on the water again sometime this year.

And so I was praying, crying out to the Lord recently when the most difficult parts of this illness had led to feelings of despair. Perhaps you read the previous blog entitled, “Psalm 71?” Yeah, I hit rock bottom a couple of nights ago. Within a day the Lord led me through His Holy Spirit to an understanding of where I am and where all of this might be going. This did not come with exacting answers of time or place initially. I came to understand that the process of searching a new treatment option was like that of waters moving from one place to the next. The Lord placed me in the middle of the stream of new research and methodically led me through the steps of discovery to a new treatment modality. I will write more about what it is another time. What I will say here is that I am in awe that there were no barriers along the way just an open current, if you will, of information even when I could not see where the research was leading me. When I finally landed at a decision, like putting-in or taking-out at a boat launch that both sends you on an adventure or returns you home, He showed me the symbolism of a river, glorious. The image of a river made sense to me. The residual pain from my brother’s comments so many years ago finally faded. The Lord gathered my cries for help like a gentle stream at the mouth of a river leading to His heart. I believe there will be a significant measure of healing this time.

Psalm 98:7-8

Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands,
let the mountains sing together for joy;

Song of Songs 8:7

Many waters cannot quench love;
    rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give
    all the wealth of one’s house for love,
    it would be utterly scorned.

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

Lamentations 2:18

The hearts of the people cry out to the Lord. You walls of Daughter Zion, let your tears flow like a river day and night; give yourself no relief, your eyes no rest.

Amos 5:24

But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!

John 7:38

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.

Revelation 22

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb ²down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. ³No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. ⁴They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. ⁵There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Tonight I rest along the banks of my Heavenly Father’s river of life.

Thank you, Lord, for carrying me downstream as far and as long as was needed to bring me to this new place of hope. Oh my Lord, forgive me for my desperation, for not trusting You. Help me to trust you, to continue to abide in your streams of righteousness, wisdom and grace. Renew my faith, strengthen my sea legs if You will, until it’s time for me to come home. I love you. Julie

Psalm 71

Published on February 18, 2014February 18, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

Psalm 71

¹In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;     let me never be put to shame. ²In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;     turn your ear to me and save me. ³Be my rock of refuge,     to which I can always go; give the command to save me,     for you are my rock and my fortress. ⁴Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,     from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.

⁵For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,     my confidence since my youth. ⁶From birth I have relied on you;     you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.     I will ever praise you. ⁷I have become a sign to many;     you are my strong refuge. ⁸My mouth is filled with your praise,     declaring your splendor all day long.

⁹Do not cast me away when I am old;     do not forsake me when my strength is gone. ¹⁰For my enemies speak against me;     those who wait to kill me conspire together. ¹¹They say, “God has forsaken him;     pursue him and seize him,     for no one will rescue him.” ¹²Do not be far from me, my God;     come quickly, God, to help me. ¹³May my accusers perish in shame;     may those who want to harm me     be covered with scorn and disgrace.

¹⁴As for me, I will always have hope;     I will praise you more and more.

¹⁵My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,     of your saving acts all day long—     though I know not how to relate them all. ¹⁶I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;     I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. ¹⁷Since my youth, God, you have taught me,     and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. ¹⁸Even when I am old and gray,     do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation,     your mighty acts to all who are to come.

¹⁹Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,     you who have done great things.     Who is like you, God? ²⁰Though you have made me see troubles,     many and bitter,     you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth     you will again bring me up. ²¹You will increase my honor     and comfort me once more.

²²I will praise you with the harp     for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre,     Holy One of Israel. ²³My lips will shout for joy     when I sing praise to you—     I whom you have delivered. ²⁴My tongue will tell of your righteous acts     all day long, for those who wanted to harm me     have been put to shame and confusion.

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Tonight as my body thrashed about I cried out to the Lord, asking “don’t you see me?”

Tonight I cried out for the Lord to take me, as in take me home. He did not answer.

Tonight I cried out asking Him not to leave me here this way. He did not answer.

The after burn of the seizure attacks, flu-spikes, chest compression symptoms making breathing labored, increased pain, and massive neck headache was unbearable once again this evening. Things are getting worse. This was my third episode today with over two dozen individual incidences!

My precious husband got out of bed after 1:00 a.m. to get me something to eat in an effort to end the tic attacks that would not stop after the seizures.

It is now over an hour later and I am stable. I am beat up. I am still here!

I will remind myself to have hope, to cultivate hope that comes through faith in Jesus Christ. Sometimes He speaks and sometimes He is silent. And for those who believe in Him, He is always present.

Psalm 71 puts it all together for me right now, so this is how I will pray as I go forth from this night. And that’s about how far I have gotten. My tummy hurts. Time to go back to bed. I think I can sleep now.

How NOT to start an online business!

Published on February 15, 2014February 15, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

Trinity Jewelry by Design has become a labor of love for me but it was not always that way! I started it six months after I was no longer able to work in my professional job due to illness. While I did all the planning recommended in starting a traditional business including writing a Business Plan, there were a couple of key elements missing for my success. I would not realize this until almost 2 years later! My “home business” is actually a hobby that has provided “occupational therapy,” not profitable income per se. This is still a good thing, good enough to continue for now.

Much of this blog will focus on Etsy since that is the venue with which I am most familiar. Sellers on Etsy, the largest homemade and vintage goods website on the internet, have valuable online training available for free via newsletters, tutorials, and a deep how-to directory all in one place. The cost is $.20 to list your first item and your sweat equity is free. Anyone can learn how to take a product from your living room to the world even if he or she had very little computer training like I did two years ago. Applying oneself to the process brings a better shop presentation, increased traffic, and sales. Most small business bloggers will tell you the elements for success. I’ll approach it a little differently here based upon my personal experience and observations: success in an online business requires knowing what not to do as well!

Be clear what you are doing.  Is it a hobby or a business? If it is a hobby, the details might not need to be as polished in the beginning as you learn. If you want to pay your bills as you learn, get a professional business mindset, plan, and presentation together before you launch. For example, in my business plan I calculated how many macramé bracelets I needed to sell per week to pay my medical bills and set this as my projected income goal. Two problems stopped me right away: 1) I only knew how to make the most basic jewelry from plain materials and 2) I didn’t know how to take great pictures to “sell” my jewelry in this extremely competitive market.  Sizzle and shine move the shopper to “add to (their) cart.” Identify your purpose and plan accordingly.

Start when you are not distracted by personal and financial stress. Rushing to get something going, skimping on materials (such as packaging to save money that really should go towards gas in your car), not taking the time to check the endless details (e.g. typos in item descriptions), and a tense mindset can kill the excitement of a new venture for you and your customers. Also the creative process needed to make handmade items will be altered by a chaotic home office when burdened by illness of a family member or 24/7 caregiving responsibilities. Going through a significant life change? I offer that it might be a great time to brainstorm about the new venture but might not give you the grounding you need to present yourself to the world with confidence.

Starting when you have not done your homework will waste time and money. Every business requires some level of market research. This might include something as simple as systematically “Googling” your product or service on Etsy, Google and Bing, to see what else is available out there. I was delighted to discover that the search process can lead to identifying trends in my business sector, spur new design ideas, and even help begin networking with other business owners. I also realized that my simplistic designs in the beginning were priced way too high for the value presented. The joy of discovery and creativity go nicely together in the beginning; they are needed periodically to keep things fresh and pertinent as the business goes forward.

Use a limit of funding as a challenge to identify new resources. It can be fun to spend money on a new venture. Whether we have secured a business loan, siphoned-off some income from our 9-to-5 job, or withdrawn money from our savings it just might be the limits of our funding that will help us to be the best stewards of our resources.  One area many home based business fail to budget for is marketing. Yet with just a little reading on Etsy, LinkedIn, and various social media avenues, we can find lots of FREE advertising.  Hello Facebook and Twitter! Search ads on Etsy are great for a launch of your business or a new product and worth a few bucks until traffic increases. The same goes with supplies, print services, and so on. On a smaller scale, I remember discovering lovely new color combinations when my variety of beads and income dwindled!

Dig into social media and link them together. Those entrepreneurs who are already savvy with social media have a huge advantage over casual users. Many of us who use social media to chat might not realize its potential to impact our businesses. For example, I know an Etsy seller who never posts her products on Facebook despite her huge Friends List; she is content to have sporadic sales that barely cover the listing costs. She owns a hobby business. I know another wildly successful online fitness trainer who has paid for training to make daily, seamless pitches to her key customers at the right time with the right message. Others simply hire a marketing company (aka SEO services). You decide.

Forgetting your baby will make your baby go away.   Even a hobby business will eventually fade away if there are no new listings, website updates, or other activity going on. How fun is that?

Remember the power of the personal connection. I’ll end with this: when I wanted to explore an online business and couldn’t handle the hassle or expense of developing my own website, I called my Aunt Patty. She sold patchwork purses and vintage fabrics on Etsy. I had never heard of Etsy! She taught me some basics and then I was off and running. This personal connection that got me started continues with my customers, neighbors who “Like” my listings in our homeowner association Facebook page, international sellers in a jewelry forum on LinkedIn, and so on. Networking with others who share our passions softens the 2-dimensional stiffness of the internet.   It’s good for business and good for our humanity too.

“How NOT to start an online business with Etsy” goes beyond checking your level of inspiration and available perspiration! I offer that if you begin with where you are and what you have, clarifying where you would like to go, and developing a love for the learning process then lots of fun possibilities await including success. I am grateful for this part of my journey while recovering from a serious illness. The future is brighter now and I’m just getting started! How about you?

And in the meantime . . .

Published on February 13, 2014February 14, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

November 20, 2011 around noon. I was alone when my body began shaking uncontrollably. I was having difficulty thinking clearly and my speech was strained. All kinds of fearful, crazy thoughts ran through my mind including blaming myself for what was happening! It was the day after travelling about 16 hours to see family out of State and my husband had gotten up early after just a few hours of sleep to go to church and out to lunch with everyone. Having never fully recovered from viral hepatitis 1 1/2 months earlier and somehow surviving the extended car ride, there just wasn’t any strength left to get up in the morning and join them. Now I was immobilized and terrified of what was happening to me. Somehow I figured out that low blood sugar was worsening the symptoms. Finally I figured out that I needed to call Steve: he could bring home a take-out lunch for me from the restaurant and I would hang on until he got home. The only problems is that everyone was stuck on the other side of town anyways, with the drawbridge up that connected the roads between us! Flash forward about two hours and the episode was over. I fell into a fit full sleep and showered much later that day, pretty beat up from everything and quite embarrassed too. What had happened to me?

April 15, 2012 at 3:00 a.m. I awakened on my birthday with a nightmare and unusual shaking. The nightmare wouldn’t stop even though I was awake, whether or not my eyes are closed. I remained awake a long time, unable to fall back asleep. This incident occurred nine days after beginning to use a Rife machine, six days per week. (A Rife machine generates wavelengths of light and sound in program sequences designed to match the vibrational frequencies of various tissues and organisms in the body.) Treatment for Lyme disease had begun in January with a 5-week course of antibiotics then continued with Rife treatments late in March when I could not tolerate the antibiotics.

April 18, 2012 at 9:20 a.m. After running 15 minutes of various Rife programs, I was shivering uncontrollably. My hands and feet felt extremely cold. Fatigue overtook me and I napped almost two hours. I woke up feeling somewhat rested until crashing after additional treatments including the beginning of a series of magnesium injections.

April 19, 2012 around 5:20 p.m. I am suddenly awakened from a post-Rife treatment nap with the barking of our dog. I am unable to move for almost 30 minutes. My mind is dull yet rested until the second Rife treatment two hours later when I felt depleted once again. I learned that this can be a typical response to various treatments for Lyme disease and is often called a herxheimer reaction.

April 21, 2012 around 3:30 p.m. From my treatment journal I note, “moderate then moderately severe tics as I went to take a nap. Cast out with calling out the name of Jesus. Calmed. Re-started. Called out 2-3 more times and stopped.” A two and one-half hour nap followed shortly thereafter! Napping became my pattern after running Rife programs; my days were consumed with managing all the aspects of treatment.

The attacks of tic episodes continued every other day or so, mixed with nightmares most every day through the rest of the month of April. Beginning May 5th, the low grade and severe tic episodes ramped up to virtually every day. Most often they occurred when falling asleep after a Rife treatment or when trying to fall asleep at night. The first extended episode that appeared to be a full-blown waking seizure was on May 12th after a nap. It lasted 1 1/2 hours! I struggled to keep myself from hyperventilating or stop breathing altogether. Talking or voluntary movement were extremely difficult and made the attacks worse when attempted. I cried! My body temperature dropped and both thirst and hunger pangs increased dramatically. I was miserable, exhausted, and terrified all at the same time. While the nightmares would continue most days for another two weeks, they generally ended and recurred occasionally when taking a new medication or supplement.

Flash forward one year. We remediated our home for mold early in 2013 and both my medication and supplement regimes had changed many times. The seizure attack episodes increased to a couple of hours on a daily basis with some patterning in addition to after exposure to noxious stimuli. I stopped attending worship services at our church since it is a water-damaged building with mold. A recurrent urinary tract infection required treatment with a series of different antibiotics. The seizure attack episodes escalated into convulsions 1-2 hours after taking an antibiotic. My world continued crashing in on me as I began reacting to more and more foods, supplements, and types of noxious stimuli including loud music and bright lights. The tic and seizure attacks ramped up in the summer of 2013 to 3-4 times per day for a total of four hours per day and continued at this level for the next EIGHT MONTHS UNTIL JANUARY OF 2014.

In January of 2014 I was very beat up from the wretched seizure-like episodes. Remarkably they generally decreased to three hours-per-day in February after a series of extremely strict dietary regimes: a stricter, no-low-starch-veggie-Candida diet; Candida and mold-free diet; Candida, mold-free, and low sulfur diet; and finally where I am right now: Candida, mold-free, and low oxalate diet. I have religiously documented my treatment protocols and responses to them, tracked trends, consulted with neurologists & a pulmonologist, networked in numerous online forums and support groups, and researched every angle of this illness to no avail. Overall these days, this sickness is looking more like a biotoxin illness than Lyme Disease as evidenced by some genetic testing of late.

As of February 2014, some improvements have come including being better able to stay asleep and having stronger nails! My hair is thinner and so am I! However, I am largely deconditioned from intolerance to a full daily schedule of activities including exercise; headaches, global pain, ringing in my ears, and more have worsened. I haven’t worked in two years and am homebound much of the week. Concentrating on my hobby jewelry business is extremely difficult. Somehow I have still continued to blog and am grateful for a two-week improvement in my cognition long enough in October to publish my eBook: Hope Beyond Lyme: The First Year. I am grateful for all of the wonderful fellow sojourners I have met these past 2 1/2 years and have made some new friends too. When I see that a non-believer has read this blog, my spirit soars to think maybe the Lord is using my trials to reach others with hope for His glory! To see the Lord, Jesus Christ, as my sustaining grace and a source of hope for enduring the trials of this life makes this blog more than a journal and for that I am humbled, grateful.

And in the meantime . . . I am ready for the seizure-attacks to stop, of course! My neck is killing me from all of the thrashing about you know! I grieve the loss of time, the thousands of dollars, the stress, the isolation, and the strain on my beloved Steve. Will I become disabled or return to work? There is only One who knows the answers to that question and another big one, “why?” Gentle Reader, if you have read this blog before, you know what I am about to write here: it’s o.k. I’m going to trust the lover of my soul anyways, no matter what happens. I may try another treatment approach before I can see the doctors in a new clinic up in Michigan next month. High CBD hemp oil (legal in all 50 States) has been shown to work well for both children and adults with seizures and who knows, it just might help me too. However, I have been down this road of hoping for a cure before, only to have things worsen. Yeah, supreme bummer for sure. Sigh. It takes what it takes. Sometimes we wait and sometimes we go backwards. If the Lord leads me to some new information and gives me the ability to search it out . . . if my husband agrees . . . if the resources present themselves . . . and if there are no barriers after prayer and sleeping on it . . . sure, Ima gonna try it.

So when it works, Lord willing, you can join me in rejoicing for having hung in there with me along the twists and turns of this difficult journey. I hope I remember to lean on the Lord when times are good as well as when they are bad. Please help me keep my Jesus in front of me as He goes before me each day. Now let’s all get ready for some good news, k!