It’s just not my turn that’s all

Another day slipped into history as I pondered the gratitude I felt for a recent task accomplished.  It’s no matter that the wrapping of Christmas presents got done from about 2 to 6 in the morning on Saturday.  That’s just how I roll these days . . .

Social media is one of the ways that I employ to counter the tremendous isolation I experience while overcoming a serious illness.  I used to be shy about it.  Many folks write about their need for a sabbatical occasionally when Facebook and the like become too big of a time eraser.  My life is structured differently I guess . . .

My brother, Michael, often talked about the support he felt from fellow poker players online.  Really?  How can you experience anything valuable from an anonymous side chat in a gambling venue of penny poker through the internet?  Flash forward ten years.  Now I get it.  Mike was home all of the time caring for our mother who was struggling with lung cancer, chemotherapy, and alcoholism.  The things that he endured were very difficult.  He would say that he never knew what he would find when he returned home from running out to the store or anywhere at all, making it difficult to get things done.  Those little touch points with his fellow poker players gave him the assurance he needed to do what he had to do the rest of the day . . .

Should life return to “normal” one day for me then my time spent here with you will naturally diminish.  I’ll be sleeping in the wee hours of the morning instead of wide awake in the recovery phase of a hellish nightmare earlier that evening.  I have already grieved about it, the loss I mean.  So much time has passed with so little getting done in my own life.  Perhaps the tasks that have been completed are not measured on a calendar or my “To Do List?”  For those in Christ Jesus, we know that to be true.

Romans 8:28, encouragement, encouraging scripture, all things work together for good, hope, hang in there

Another example is how I finished reviewing a copy of a canoe and kayak paddling magazine last night for which my husband is the Editor.  I guess I can now add “Assistant Editor” to my resume for my contributions to the first four issues.  Cool beans.  I could list a bunch of crafty Christmas things that I would rather be doing yet that was not my calling for those hours.  Many will be blessed by this sacrifice including me.

Ever feel this way when sidetracked from your dreams, Gentle Reader?  In ways big and small we may struggle to discipline ourselves to do the tasks we must do when our hearts are in another room or time zone.  Know what I mean?

The bottom line for me on this subject tonight is that the sooner I rest in the promises of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the sooner I will realize that I am perfectly where I need to be.  He will provide everything I need from the breath that is not coming easily to the assembly of a Christmas gift still in boxes strewn here and there.  I know from another tumultuous time in my life that the Lord does answer our prayers in due time.  The waiting, the setbacks, the anticipation make the rewards sweeter.  How can I expect to make it to the finish line with style and grace if I give up on the last leg of the race?  I will not!

So don’t you give up on me either, k?  And please hang tough if you are going through challenging times as well.  If you need to cry out for help then please do so NOW.  Our God promises in His Word that:

The Lord will strengthen him on his bed of illness;
You will sustain him on his sickbed.

Psalm 41:3  New King James Version (NKJV)

He will see us through to our last breath if we but call upon His name.  My Heavenly Father has done so for me a thousand times.  He will do so for you too.  Tonight I am praying for us both.  JJ

Dog in bed

It Takes Time: My Wife Is Crazy!

Thankfully my beloved Steve never said this to me.  I wondered it myself many times though!

Check out this husband’s perspective  on mold and how it can affect your life.  You may search the words “mold” and “biotin illness” for more on this topic from Hope Beyond.

And hang in there fellow sojourner.  Praise the Lord that I am getting well!  JJ

http://moldrecovery.blogspot.com/2012/05/my-wife-is-crazy.html?m=1#.VmdYd4SFbzJ

Here I sit

Here I sit

Broken hearted

Trying to s__

But only farted!

And so goes the rhyme of 9 year-old boys and their older sisters!  It’s a little funny and a little sad for me right now.  It’s like our waiting for answers in the next step of my treatment process that is wearing heavily on my beloved, Steve, and me.  The stress is crushing.  We cannot do much but endure the next few days until the next consultation.  I am having to puree foods to keep the chewing motion of my jaw from triggering convulsions.  And still they happen on their own regardless.  This keyboard is my closest friend tonight.  Thank you for being here.  You are:

   2 Good

+ 2 Be

_________

4 Gotten!

Love to all, JJ

 

Wide-eyed and bushy tailed: Part 1 of 2

This pup can sleep no matter where she is or what time of day it is.  I’ll bet she is not alone in this.  Most dogs can sleep all day long if they like.  I guess it helps to have 2 layers of eyelids with one covered in heavy fur!  And in my experience, many of the male homo sapiens genre can sleep at will too!  🙂

Squinting early Spring 2014crop

 

Not so for me.  After a rough night, rough afternoon, and low grade episode in the middle of the night it’s as if I have toothpicks holding my eye lids open.  In about an hour my alarm will go off in anticipation of a birthday surprise outing for my beloved husband.  It has been re-scheduled or re-configured six times over the past week with the location, State, and parties involved changing many times due to various extraneous factors.  He only knows about the date changes.  Steve has been a champ through it all!  I kept him guessing with clues and silly gifts.  The changes of date, time, etc. has actually helped keep everything a secret.  I just hope I hold out too!

Sometimes sheer adrenaline gets you through that which you could never do on your own.  I know my Jesus is out front so please:  take the helm!

Seeya later with all of the details and pictures.  I’m headed for a puppy pillow.

:J

Something that’s of worth

Hey how about playing this:  The Heart of Worship

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come

Longing just to bring
Something that’s of worth
That will bless Your heart

I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart

I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus

I’m sorry, Lord for the thing I’ve made it
And it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve

Though I’m weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

It’s all about You…

Matt Redman speaks to my heart with his ballad on guitar:  words I can’t seem to get out any other way.  You see I have laryngitis!  Tee hee.  It hasn’t been fun lately on top of everything else so Ima gonna keep it simple and just dwell in the presence of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ . . .  Dwell with me for a spell, Gentle Reader.  The lover of your soul is waiting!  :J