
Tag: seizures
And in the meantime . . .
November 20, 2011 around noon. I was alone when my body began shaking uncontrollably. I was having difficulty thinking clearly and my speech was strained. All kinds of fearful, crazy thoughts ran through my mind including blaming myself for what was happening! It was the day after travelling about 16 hours to see family out of State and my husband had gotten up early after just a few hours of sleep to go to church and out to lunch with everyone. Having never fully recovered from viral hepatitis 1 1/2 months earlier and somehow surviving the extended car ride, there just wasn’t any strength left to get up in the morning and join them. Now I was immobilized and terrified of what was happening to me. Somehow I figured out that low blood sugar was worsening the symptoms. Finally I figured out that I needed to call Steve: he could bring home a take-out lunch for me from the restaurant and I would hang on until he got home. The only problems is that everyone was stuck on the other side of town anyways, with the drawbridge up that connected the roads between us! Flash forward about two hours and the episode was over. I fell into a fit full sleep and showered much later that day, pretty beat up from everything and quite embarrassed too. What had happened to me?
April 15, 2012 at 3:00 a.m. I awakened on my birthday with a nightmare and unusual shaking. The nightmare wouldn’t stop even though I was awake, whether or not my eyes are closed. I remained awake a long time, unable to fall back asleep. This incident occurred nine days after beginning to use a Rife machine, six days per week. (A Rife machine generates wavelengths of light and sound in program sequences designed to match the vibrational frequencies of various tissues and organisms in the body.) Treatment for Lyme disease had begun in January with a 5-week course of antibiotics then continued with Rife treatments late in March when I could not tolerate the antibiotics.
April 18, 2012 at 9:20 a.m. After running 15 minutes of various Rife programs, I was shivering uncontrollably. My hands and feet felt extremely cold. Fatigue overtook me and I napped almost two hours. I woke up feeling somewhat rested until crashing after additional treatments including the beginning of a series of magnesium injections.
April 19, 2012 around 5:20 p.m. I am suddenly awakened from a post-Rife treatment nap with the barking of our dog. I am unable to move for almost 30 minutes. My mind is dull yet rested until the second Rife treatment two hours later when I felt depleted once again. I learned that this can be a typical response to various treatments for Lyme disease and is often called a herxheimer reaction.
April 21, 2012 around 3:30 p.m. From my treatment journal I note, “moderate then moderately severe tics as I went to take a nap. Cast out with calling out the name of Jesus. Calmed. Re-started. Called out 2-3 more times and stopped.” A two and one-half hour nap followed shortly thereafter! Napping became my pattern after running Rife programs; my days were consumed with managing all the aspects of treatment.
The attacks of tic episodes continued every other day or so, mixed with nightmares most every day through the rest of the month of April. Beginning May 5th, the low grade and severe tic episodes ramped up to virtually every day. Most often they occurred when falling asleep after a Rife treatment or when trying to fall asleep at night. The first extended episode that appeared to be a full-blown waking seizure was on May 12th after a nap. It lasted 1 1/2 hours! I struggled to keep myself from hyperventilating or stop breathing altogether. Talking or voluntary movement were extremely difficult and made the attacks worse when attempted. I cried! My body temperature dropped and both thirst and hunger pangs increased dramatically. I was miserable, exhausted, and terrified all at the same time. While the nightmares would continue most days for another two weeks, they generally ended and recurred occasionally when taking a new medication or supplement.
Flash forward one year. We remediated our home for mold early in 2013 and both my medication and supplement regimes had changed many times. The seizure attack episodes increased to a couple of hours on a daily basis with some patterning in addition to after exposure to noxious stimuli. I stopped attending worship services at our church since it is a water-damaged building with mold. A recurrent urinary tract infection required treatment with a series of different antibiotics. The seizure attack episodes escalated into convulsions 1-2 hours after taking an antibiotic. My world continued crashing in on me as I began reacting to more and more foods, supplements, and types of noxious stimuli including loud music and bright lights. The tic and seizure attacks ramped up in the summer of 2013 to 3-4 times per day for a total of four hours per day and continued at this level for the next EIGHT MONTHS UNTIL JANUARY OF 2014.
In January of 2014 I was very beat up from the wretched seizure-like episodes. Remarkably they generally decreased to three hours-per-day in February after a series of extremely strict dietary regimes: a stricter, no-low-starch-veggie-Candida diet; Candida and mold-free diet; Candida, mold-free, and low sulfur diet; and finally where I am right now: Candida, mold-free, and low oxalate diet. I have religiously documented my treatment protocols and responses to them, tracked trends, consulted with neurologists & a pulmonologist, networked in numerous online forums and support groups, and researched every angle of this illness to no avail. Overall these days, this sickness is looking more like a biotoxin illness than Lyme Disease as evidenced by some genetic testing of late.
As of February 2014, some improvements have come including being better able to stay asleep and having stronger nails! My hair is thinner and so am I! However, I am largely deconditioned from intolerance to a full daily schedule of activities including exercise; headaches, global pain, ringing in my ears, and more have worsened. I haven’t worked in two years and am homebound much of the week. Concentrating on my hobby jewelry business is extremely difficult. Somehow I have still continued to blog and am grateful for a two-week improvement in my cognition long enough in October to publish my eBook: Hope Beyond Lyme: The First Year. I am grateful for all of the wonderful fellow sojourners I have met these past 2 1/2 years and have made some new friends too. When I see that a non-believer has read this blog, my spirit soars to think maybe the Lord is using my trials to reach others with hope for His glory! To see the Lord, Jesus Christ, as my sustaining grace and a source of hope for enduring the trials of this life makes this blog more than a journal and for that I am humbled, grateful.
And in the meantime . . . I am ready for the seizure-attacks to stop, of course! My neck is killing me from all of the thrashing about you know! I grieve the loss of time, the thousands of dollars, the stress, the isolation, and the strain on my beloved Steve. Will I become disabled or return to work? There is only One who knows the answers to that question and another big one, “why?” Gentle Reader, if you have read this blog before, you know what I am about to write here: it’s o.k. I’m going to trust the lover of my soul anyways, no matter what happens. I may try another treatment approach before I can see the doctors in a new clinic up in Michigan next month. High CBD hemp oil (legal in all 50 States) has been shown to work well for both children and adults with seizures and who knows, it just might help me too. However, I have been down this road of hoping for a cure before, only to have things worsen. Yeah, supreme bummer for sure. Sigh. It takes what it takes. Sometimes we wait and sometimes we go backwards. If the Lord leads me to some new information and gives me the ability to search it out . . . if my husband agrees . . . if the resources present themselves . . . and if there are no barriers after prayer and sleeping on it . . . sure, Ima gonna try it.
So when it works, Lord willing, you can join me in rejoicing for having hung in there with me along the twists and turns of this difficult journey. I hope I remember to lean on the Lord when times are good as well as when they are bad. Please help me keep my Jesus in front of me as He goes before me each day. Now let’s all get ready for some good news, k!
Some things remain a mystery, some not.

Today I am recovering from a terrible setback. Turns out the herbal remedy from New Zealand with promising research is horrible for me in my battle with Candida Enteritis. Will go back to my gentler protocol while I await results from testing that I will submit this week. Thereafter I will schedule with a new clinic and in many ways, start over.
Sometimes, the dinosaur wins.
Into the night
The sun has gone down over the drifts of snow blanketing our neighborhood. It’s (-1.7) degrees F outside, continuing the snowiest and coldest record-setting weather in our corner of the Midwest. The German shepherd pup doesn’t seem to mind that the snow in most places is deeper than her ears; she hops like a bunny at breakneck speed to catch up with us on foot or on skiis in the backyard anyways!
All is quiet now before Steve comes home from work. He’ll arrive within the next 30-minutes and rush about unloading his car, taking care of the pup, washing his workout clothes, and the like. Then comes the best part: a sweet kiss for his beloved, sitting here waiting, waiting. But for what am I really waiting?
In this Hillsong Music piece from 2010, we feel the timeless yearning of the songwriter as he runs into the arms of his beloved: the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is a love song for sure. The sojourner anticipates the embrace of the only One who can bring true goodness, joy, peace, truth, and light to a darkened world or situation. My favorite part includes the words in bold:
You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I’m made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I’m letting go.Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign.
Into the night there are wretched seizure attacks waiting for me, every night for the last 8 months and every day for about the last 2 years. Last night turned ugly with convulsions and spontaneous vocalizations that appeared demonic at times. Steve rescued me sitting frozen at the edge of the bed then faced yet another late work night praying over me, warming my frigid frame. How much can a couple of broken souls endure? As believers we understand the answer: with Jesus, “all of it.” I’m here typing at the computer as proof. Sure makes me afraid to go to bed each night since an encore is usually waiting for me as my head hits the pillow. And you wonder why I stay up so late? Number one I am wide-awake about an hour after an episode ends, and number two I guess I’m trying to delay the inevitable. With prayers in-hand I go to bed. Eventually the noxious symptoms let go to a measure of sleep.
Tonight I will feel presence of the Lord in the love of my Steve. Tonight in my heart I will fill the empty places he cannot reach with the love of my Lord. After all there are places that only God can reach and fill, places He designed only for Himself. I have no idea how anyone would endure continuing heartache without knowing Him. Nothing else satisfies so completely.
But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. (Psalm 59:17)
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken (emphasis added). (Psalm 55:22)
So here is some simple encouragement for you this evening, Gentle Reader. Perhaps I am living proof that yet the righteous be shaken (only made right by the blood of Jesus), we can run with praise to the God of all creation who longs to fill the heart and soul with that for which it longs within us. It may look bad for a time. Gratefully, “time” won’t last forever though. ;j

They came, they went, and life goes on
Here is the reason that living in the moment is so very important: the good ones soften the others!
I am so grateful for the first meeting of our church home group that met this evening. Steve and I volunteered to host a group to try to break up the isolation that I have experienced since becoming more homebound these past two years. Sometime in the early Spring of last year I made the difficult decision to stop attending worship services because the building is water-damaged (WDB). Every time I was inside the structure for Sunday worship or an event, I paid dearly with violent seizure attacks. The kind that are triggered by mold ramp up quickly. Most of the time I was barely able to make it back to our car before the shaking began and it quickly became convulsions one seated inside. A perfect electrical storm let loose inside my head. Gratefully they did not last for more than 30 minutes most of the time. However afterwards I was beat up with a sharp headache, profound fatigue, ringing in my ears, increased upper body pain, and emotional devastation for hours thereafter. To suffer like that was not what the Lord has called me to do . . .
Thus began my practice of listening to our pastor’s messages at home on the internet. Thus became me living my Christian fellowship through Steve as he would attend two services per week in addition to the men’s prayer breakfast on Saturday. He came home each of these days and shared a detailed review of Pastor Paul’s verse-by-verse teaching of the Old and New Testaments in addition to updates on our church family members. I felt humbled and sad when he would tell me of individuals who had asked about me. This was a mixed blessing. I appreciate others asking and praying for me. Rarely did anyone contact me thereafter. Such is the nature of things in contemporary America.
One couple couldn’t make the meeting tonight as the wife was having medical tests and likely being admitted to the hospital. Yipes! We prayed for Ellen and hope that she recovers soon. Our group was small yet the fellowship was rich. I stressed about getting everything ready before 7:00 p.m. as my medical-day ended at 5:20 p.m. That barely left enough time to shower, clean, and prepare snacks before my husband came home. Everything came together shortly after our guests arrived; it always does. Our group conversation was meaningful and even personal for our first time together, discussing John 18 that was preached this past Sunday. Before we knew it the evening was over. Before I knew it the evening noxious episode that awaits me around 10:00 p.m. was set to begin, following me late into the night.
And so it goes. Life goes on. Now I’m awake at 4:00 a.m. recapping the night: at least once per month I’ll get to break bread with my brothers and sisters in Christ during our home group. This is good. I am glad and it was worth the wait. :J
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