The sun has gone down over the drifts of snow blanketing our neighborhood. It’s (-1.7) degrees F outside, continuing the snowiest and coldest record-setting weather in our corner of the Midwest. The German shepherd pup doesn’t seem to mind that the snow in most places is deeper than her ears; she hops like a bunny at breakneck speed to catch up with us on foot or on skiis in the backyard anyways!
All is quiet now before Steve comes home from work. He’ll arrive within the next 30-minutes and rush about unloading his car, taking care of the pup, washing his workout clothes, and the like. Then comes the best part: a sweet kiss for his beloved, sitting here waiting, waiting. But for what am I really waiting?
In this Hillsong Music piece from 2010, we feel the timeless yearning of the songwriter as he runs into the arms of his beloved: the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is a love song for sure. The sojourner anticipates the embrace of the only One who can bring true goodness, joy, peace, truth, and light to a darkened world or situation. My favorite part includes the words in bold:
You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I’m made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I’m letting go.
Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign.
Into the night there are wretched seizure attacks waiting for me, every night for the last 8 months and every day for about the last 2 years. Last night turned ugly with convulsions and spontaneous vocalizations that appeared demonic at times. Steve rescued me sitting frozen at the edge of the bed then faced yet another late work night praying over me, warming my frigid frame. How much can a couple of broken souls endure? As believers we understand the answer: with Jesus, “all of it.” I’m here typing at the computer as proof. Sure makes me afraid to go to bed each night since an encore is usually waiting for me as my head hits the pillow. And you wonder why I stay up so late? Number one I am wide-awake about an hour after an episode ends, and number two I guess I’m trying to delay the inevitable. With prayers in-hand I go to bed. Eventually the noxious symptoms let go to a measure of sleep.
Tonight I will feel presence of the Lord in the love of my Steve. Tonight in my heart I will fill the empty places he cannot reach with the love of my Lord. After all there are places that only God can reach and fill, places He designed only for Himself. I have no idea how anyone would endure continuing heartache without knowing Him. Nothing else satisfies so completely.
But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. (Psalm 59:17)
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken (emphasis added). (Psalm 55:22)
So here is some simple encouragement for you this evening, Gentle Reader. Perhaps I am living proof that yet the righteous be shaken (only made right by the blood of Jesus), we can run with praise to the God of all creation who longs to fill the heart and soul with that for which it longs within us. It may look bad for a time. Gratefully, “time” won’t last forever though. ;j
2 thoughts on “Into the night”
Thank you Jennifer. Looking into methylation issues and my 23andme results, uploaded to Geneticgenie.com, added some new clues. I was already on a strict Candida and mold-free diet then added low sulfur. It didn’t make much difference just increased my sensitivity to omega 3 foods. After looking at leaky gut issues and the nutrigenomic sites that largely focus on autism, backed into information on a low oxalate diet. The symptoms of high oxalate resonated with me; the testing from a new clinic will include urine oxalates. Hey, I’m not waiting 5 weeks to tweak my diet! So I transitioned to Candida, mold-free and low oxalate with info. from http://lowoxalate.info/ This looks promising; have started it slow to avoid too much dumping, herxing. It just amazes me the new things we can discover even 2 years into this recent time of illness. Trusting the Lord for sure.
my dear friend I am praying for relief for you from seizures. I cannot even imagine what a horrible trial this is.