With all of God’s Word at our fingertips, we continue to berate ourselves for not being good enough. Such a fruitless waste of time. This video straightened me around tonight. Hope you enjoy it too. May God be the glory for the great things He has done, including you and me. Take care, JJ
God’s Chisel Remastered by the Skit Guys
I was talking to God the other day, the night before the big snowstorm hit the Midwest and the night before this head cold took me out for a few days. It was after 2:00 a.m. The house was quiet, the Christmas tree still stood tall and magical in the living room, the pup was warming herself on the rug in front of the floor vent in the kitchen. My beloved was fast asleep in bed down the hall. Here I was prowling about the house as usual in the wee hours of the morning.
Usually I head to the kitchen for a snack before my 3:00 a.m. bedtime and read the Bible verses for the previous day from the Android Bible App. After that I’ll finish perusing any garden catalogs that have come in the mail, clean up the kitchen and head to bed. But something gave me pause. I believe it was the leading of the Holy Spirit beckoning me to come dwell before the throne of grace before retiring for the night. And so I did.
I sat in my favorite little chair in the living room and looked out over our home. Gratitude overwhelmed me as I realized all of the blessings laid out before me. The Lord had restored the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25) and provided nice furnishings, my husband’s shiny kayaking trophies, beautiful hardwood flooring and more for our lovely home. Laughter and activity filled these spaces just 6 days before as all of my husband’s children visited with their loved ones in person or via Skype. I was blessed to be able to serve them with treats and home cooked meals before turning in early to rest and recover for the night (sight unseen). All they saw was the good stuff and that is o.k. Sitting before me were opened gifts still gathered under the tree: sweet and thoughtful too. My Lord has been so good to me!
Then I heard a whisper, a presence as if my Counselor, Friend were sitting there right with me in the twilight. He reassured me that everything would be o.k. He allowed me to fill my heart with memories and reminders of His goodness that would be needed in the difficult days ahead. He made it clear that He would always be with me and have my best interests at heart. My Jesus filled me with His love that night. It was a sweet treat indeed.
Taking time to be alone with our Heavenly Father, our Heavenly Husband, our Immanuel makes the days, the nights more meaningful. I know that when I stop for a moment of reflection, I can see His hand leading me, holding me, carrying me, protecting me. I trust that you will see Him too as this Christmas season draws to a close. His omnipresence reassures me that He will be there with you in your time of need just as He is here with me now and the other day. If you don’t know God personally, I pray that you will spend some time with Him and His Word alone somewhere meaningful to you. I tell ya, it’s a really cool thing to do!
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5
The pages of my journal are color coded for quick reference to the various noxious symptoms of this ongoing illness. This system helps when making medical summary documents or answering questions during doctor appointments. It looks like every line has either blue (for headache), green (pain), orange (seizure attacks), purple (nightmares or waking terrors), or red (flu-like sickness) today. Whew! I had planned to write the hairy details directly from my journal for my blog entry today but I think that just mentioning the rainbow of wacky stuff going on is good enough. But don’t worry. I am more stable now. I slept until 5:00 p.m. today with about 1 1/2 hours awake this morning for breakfast and journaling. This is crazy stuff man.
And yet every speck of color and it’s accompanying saga are part of the Lord’s perfect plan for my life. I am sad that Steve has to endure this too. Yet as a believer, to have a wife with a serious illness is part of the Lord’s Divine plan for his life as well. How this works is such a mystery! So for me, if I am to live as Christ then I must take His Words into my heart and allow them to breathe life into my achy body each day. I must pray without ceasing, give thanks for all the goodness that continues all around me, and know that He can use everything for His glory. This is a mighty responsibility. Hope I get it right!
Will this time of illness refine me in some way? Perhaps. I know that in another time of my life, repeated trials softened the harsh edges of my personality. I learned that I have a Heavenly Husband and grew in fellowship with Him. (Oh how I wish every married woman would know the joy of having a perfect partner in life as manifest in the Lord so she could cut her earthly husband some slack a little more often!) I also witnessed the amazing provision of my King in what appeared to me as “upside down and backwards” most of the time. In the end, the pieces of my frazzled life came together perfectly. I even met my knight in shining aluminum (aka the 24-foot box truck that Steve rented to move me from Illinois to Indiana!) who has shown me love like no other person on this earth. The Lord restored the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25) so to speak, and I was set to live happily ever after . . .
When there’s a major turn of events in the life of a believer, chances are there’s also a major opportunity to receive something wonderful that could not come any other way. Who changes his or her personality just because it’s Saturday? No, it usually takes a major train wreck or two for that to happen! Because the Lord has shown me His faithfulness, His heart, and blessings even in heartache, I will continue to choose to lean on Him, wait on Him for all things.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the thing which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
These colorful experiences of mine, good and bad are temporary. Thank goodness! Allow me to share with you one more passage that brings this hope home in my heart:
You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth. You hall increase my greatness and comfort me on every side. Also with the lute I will praise You — and your faithfulness, O my God! Psalm 71
We have a Heavenly Father who promises to be with us though all of the trials of our lives and redeem them for eternal glory. Come to His throne of grace with me Gentle Reader and bring before Him all your weariness, hurts and pain. He sees them and carries them with us. And one day they will be washed away when either He comes again for His own or we join Him when our time here is through.
If you do not know Him as Lord and Savior of your life, well, you are missing out on perfect peace and so much more. I pray that you will consider following Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life. If you make that decision today, please contact me and tell me all about it. If you rededicate your love for Him, please tell me that too. After all, to reach others for Christ is the main reason why this blog is here. My time of illness and connecting with you today are part of His perfect plan for my life. They just represent more pretty colors for the threads in the tapestry of my life you might say . . .
In the wee hours of Christmas morning, it is.
My body isn’t happy and my heart feels a little smaller than usual.
I wonder when this or that will change: when the prayers will be answered?
Sadly, some did not say hello when I made it to church for the first time in a month.
Crying could be in the cards tonight, or at least a little pouting. And what would that accomplish anyways?
I have so much goodness in my life, outside of this illness and its related difficulties. About these I have written time and time again.
Why is it so easy to forget the blessings? The roller coaster of life when it gets complicated too easily pushes my focus off of what is most important again and again.
Put the robe back on, take it off, no put it back on again as the sweat episode comes and goes; am I hungry or is it low grade nausea this time? Oh yeah, the tic attacks have started again.
There is no end to this kind of thinking in my own strength. I go on about it here only to illustrate that even as a believer in Jesus Christ, I am tempted, taunted by the darkness of this world. Perhaps the difference between me and someone who does not believe will be what happens next. Others may attempt to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and cheer up with positive self talk. Still more will use a substance or dark distraction to erase the reality that can be so difficult to face. Those comforts will be temporary and fail to something else that must replace it eventually. Well this Christmas morning, these will not be me. I will turn somewhere else.
But wait, can a baby born in a filthy village to a teenage girl and out of wedlock possibly comfort me in my anguish? Even if He spoke wise words, did countless miracles, and 500 people testified that he rose from the dead, does that have anything to do with me tonight? What if His life, death, and resurrection were perfectly predicted 500 or so years earlier without the benefit of the internet, does that mean anything for me or for you either? And if He was part of God, the three persons of the one entity that is “God,” does that mean that He had anything to do with me being created? So if He did create me, did He have really some purpose or plan for my life that included allowing me to get Lyme Disease?
Guess what? The answers are yes. Jesus is for the “wounded.” Jesus is for this wounded woman who doesn’t feel so hot. Jesus is for those who do good and those who do not. Jesus is for those who think they are good but can never really be good enough because of our shared human condition: we are all flawed by sin. Jesus is for the sinner and those affected by sin in this fallen, imperfect world. Jesus is the answer now and always. And when I lift my eyes from my limited life and fix them on He Who is infinite, seek His forgiveness, claim that He is Lord, my eternal life comes into view. This trial of illness will give way to an eternity in heaven with Him: and there will be no more pain, weeping, or sorrow. Yeah God! How do I know this? He promised it in His Word!
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. (John 1:1-3)
The answers are all in the Bible and the Bible is God, one and the same. How does that work? Finding the answer to that begins in a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Creator of all people, places, things, events, and spiritual entities. Some go to His Word first. Some cry out to Him before realizing Who is out there listening and waiting for them with perfect love. Some find Him through a person who knows Him and draws a bridge to the heart of Christ by his or her actions, tenderness, words. In the end, we can all find Him if we but seek Him. Don’t stop with that spiritual friend or influence either. He, she, or it will fail us at some point. Trust God to be perfect; just love people (spoken first by my former Pastor, Bill Hybels). Jesus will not, never, ever fail us. Jesus is for the wounded. He “knows” the cries of our hearts as He was also wounded physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually too. He does care about our sorrows. He came to save us from the consequences of the sin of this world. If all this wasn’t true, He would have never left the heaven realms to be born into this world only to die a tortuous death on a cross. Would you leave paradise for me? Er, no.
Tonight my heart is transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). Thank you Jesus for coming to save me (Luke 19:10). Thank you for watching over me (Psalm121:5) and ensuring that the trials will not be wasted (Jeremiah 29:11). Thank you for caring about me (1 Peter 5:7) and taking care of my true needs (Luke 12:22-30). Thank you for Your gift of salvation and eternity with You (John 3:16). One day I know that I will be well, whole, and rejoicing in Your presence! (Psalm 30)
Merry Christmas indeed.
The rascally rabbit won and I lost. Big time. Two days have gone by and I’m just starting to move about the house. Guess rabbit is not good for my nerves or anything else. The weird diet needs to be adjusted! At least the dog likes it! Dogs can eat anything ya know . . .
My prayer today is for this nightmare to end. I asked my hubby Steve if he thought there was something I was to learn from this illness that I wasn’t getting? He said that maybe it’s like Job (of the Old Testament). Job lost everything except His wife and a few skeptical friends when the Lord allowed Him to be tested. God wanted to show Job’s faith to a conniving Satan and gave Satan free reign to destroy Job, but not kill him. Job endured: he did question God at one point then quickly humbled himself before God Almighty when God spoke to him.
Job had it much worse than I could ever imagine. Covered in boils, heartbroken from the loss of all of his children and possessions, and all at a time when he had been living a God-honoring life. My year-long illness, loss of my parents and brother, abusive childhood, heartache when my former spouse took so much, condo fire, and throwing up 12 times Tuesday night still did not compare to Job’s losses. And I doubt my faithfulness compares either. I am too quick to complain. I am too quick to want more. I am too impatient at times. And I just ain’t grateful enough.
The Lord has grown my faith, softened my heart over the years. He has blessed me, restored me beyond measure. I have so much for which to be thankful. So why do I want more? Why do I want it all and right now? I believe it’s because we are all hard-wired to want something that we cannot have in this life. We are created to seek that which can only be satisfied in the person of Jesus Christ, in loving Him and letting Him fill our thoughts and times of longing. While I do seek Him continuously, I must let more go at the foot of His cross AND LEAVE IT THERE! He is worthy of my praise. He is honored when I go to Him with my hurts and needs. He loves me and knows my heart, I know. I must trust Him even when I cannot see Him clearly. My faith must grow even more.
Writer Sarah Young understands this process well in her book, Jesus Calling.
Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight; trusting in my mysterious, majestic Presence.
So I am in the middle of a Great Mystery, written by my Father and King. My prayer today will now change to learn to rest in His care until His truth, purposes, and blessings are revealed. Like an adventure of sorts. I wouldn’t stop reading a great book of fiction in the middle chapters when the antagonist is winning and the protagonist is lying shredded on the ground.
Yeah, it’s not that bad. Time to take a shower now.
Jesus is for the Wounded 
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