faith – Page 28 – Jesus is for the Wounded

What you didn’t say I’m glad I didn’t hear

Published on June 2, 2013June 3, 2013 by Jesus is for the Wounded3 Comments

When someone says to me, “you look good today,” I’ve decided to simply take that as a compliment. The cynical alternative would be to question the intent of the person and wonder if he or she is thinking one of the phrases in the poster above. Is he or she wondering if I am really sick if I am able fix my hair and wear make-up one day in the past week? No one sees me when I don’t feel well because I don’t leave the house! Oh well. As a friend of mine named Carol used to say, “it’s better to just leave it alone.”

When someone asks me if I’m back to work yet, I’ve decided to say that, “getting well is my full time job these days.” If the person probes further, I’ve decided to disclose that I spend 16 to 18 hours every day in health-related activities and appointments. That usually brings silence so I quickly change the subject to his or her job or other primary role in life. My husband advises me that people like to talk about themselves and usually have a great time with you if you ask a lot of questions about them. I do enjoy getting to know others so his approach works well.

When someone asks me how I am feeling, I’ve learned that a quirky response such as, “below average,” “stable,” “not as well as I’d like to,” or “I’m having a better moment” works well. I rarely feel well (or if I feel better at the moment it is likely to change within the hour!) so it’s tough to give the truth: a negative litany of symptoms that has gone on for 1 1/2 years! This crap-ola-ski is likely to continue for awhile so I’m going to pace my answers. (I told you I’m Polish right?!) I appreciate the question, acknowledge it and turn my attention to the other person. It’s pretty clear when a person cares for more information and sweet when this happens.

When I do get to share a little more of my story, I try to end it with gratitude. There is always something for which I can be grateful, for which we all can be grateful. Today was a day that stunk until about 1:35 p.m. The noxious symptoms persisted without a logical reason even after a post-treatment nap plus an additional rest period. In the afternoon I moved slowly into extensive amounts of cooking my special diet and cleaning up this or that. The sweats episodes did not diminish until later in the evening. I am however grateful for two cool things that happened today: 1) crafting an amazing baked lamb cabbage roll casserole (gluten/sugar/dairy/chemical free as well!) and 2) completing the netting and support structure for the blackberry raised bed to keep out the birdie scavengers. Cool beans. Steve and I had a sweet evening together later after finishing our respective projects today. Thank you Jesus! Lord willing, I will worship His holy name tomorrow at church . . .

Recovery from a long-term illness thang isn’t for wimps you know! Most people give up, settle for less, walk away from their faith in anything or anyone, become bitter and isolated, or worse. I choose to trust that this journey will not be wasted, that the Lord will use it for His glory if I keep Him out front, and I exercise some care in my speech and behavior. Rejoice if you see me out working in my garden! I’m probably sweating bullets, nauseated, dehydrated, and weak but getting out into the world anyways. We all know what it is like to have to carry on with life when we simply don’t feel well, don’t feel like carrying on with life. I just get it more often! Eeek.

Ahhhh. That’s better. Happy Spring y’all.

The 8 Colors of Crayola Poster Markers Revealed

Published on May 29, 2013May 29, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Staying on track during the recovery from a chronic illness requires faith in the Lord for sure. From there are the little strategies that keep me sane like writing in a treatment journal. With so much going on from ever-changing meds., supplements, Rife programs, OTC remedies, nutritional strategies and the symptoms that follow, I would be lost without my handy Crayola Poster Markers! This also helps during appointments with my LLMD when he asks about the course of illness and treatment responses (or lack thereof).

Here’s my simple color key that helps me on track:

Bright pink = nightmares
Blue = headaches
Orange = tic or seizure attacks (thin line for tics; bold line for attacks
Yellow= new treatments
Green = pain, burning, movement anomalies
Red = overall sickness, sweats
Purple = new stuff
Brown = elimination, detox

Then there’s the traditional yellow highlighter = Beam Ray Rife Treatments and Duration

So there you have it. I’m on my second box of markers and the green one is running out of ink again. I thought it would be the orange marker pooping out first but it’s got the staying power I did not expect! So glad the bright pink and purple ones haven’t seen any activity for the last month. Those colors are best portrayed in my garden right now, thankfully! I got to retire the brown one a couple of months ago too. I’m sad that the blue one gets used most days and especially since physical therapy ended 2 weeks ago. I had improved and needed to use the blue and green markers less when P.T. was weekly but the insurance company doesn’t want to play nice with my Crayola buddies. Geez!

At last, a better evening!

Published on April 23, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Praise ye the Lord: I had a better evening! Got to prepare some yummy foods for a sweet dinner with my hubby and a young family we had not seen in over a year. Even sampled a tiny chocolate-covered almond ice cream tidbit. Yeah, I’d recommend them. They are too small to create any guilt or hard feelings so go for it!

Thank you Lord for sharing your goodness with me today. I needed the encouragement to keep me going when the times are tough. Even if it doesn’t last long, I will trust in You. You knew just what I needed today. Smiles all around and happy feet too . . .

Now for Some Encouragement

Published on April 17, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

I heard the following message on the radio today on the way home from a medical appointment. The gentle words of Joni Eareckson Tada reminded me of the unmatched love, peace, joy, and grace we have as believers in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Perhaps it will speak to your heart too?

“Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada with another poem for you today, and I hope that you enjoy poetry as much as I do and—believe me—I have amassed quite a collection of poems throughout the years. Many of them started out simply as poems but eventually were put to music and are now part of the timeless collection of hymns of the faith. Such is the case with this poem by Horatius Bonar. It was written in the 1860’s and became a favorite hymn in many churches. And for me, it’s a favorite because, well, it captures what I “feel” about the Gospel, about Christ’s amazing love and my unworthiness. Let me read this poem called “Not What My Hands Have Done” and see if it resonates with you.

Not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul;
Not what my toiling flesh has borne can make my spirit whole.
Not what I feel or do can give me peace with God;
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears can bear my pressing load.

Your voice alone, O Lord, can speak to me of grace;
Your power alone, O Son of God, can all my sin erase.
No other work but Yours, no other blood will do;
No strength but that which is divine can bear me safely through.

Thy work alone, O Christ, can ease my weight of sin;
Thy blood alone, O Lamb of God, can give me peace within.
Thy love to me, O God, not mine, O Lord, to Thee,
Can rid me of this dark unrest, And set my spirit free.

I bless the Christ of God; I rest on love divine;
And with unfaltering lip and heart I call this Savior mine.
His cross dispels each doubt; I bury in His tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear, each lingering shade of gloom.

I praise the God of grace; I trust His truth and might;
He calls me His, I call Him mine, My God, my joy and light.
’Tis He Who saveth me, and freely pardon gives;
I love because He loveth me, I live because He lives.

That’s a beautiful poem, and there you have it! And I love that line, “His cross dispels each doubt, I bury in His tomb, each thought of unbelief and fear, each lingering shade of gloom.” Oh, that I would remember to do that every time I have doubts or fears; right? It’s a powerful poem because it captures the way we ought to look at the Gospel. Ah, but so many of us feel as though we are the ones who have done God a big favor by accepting Jesus as our Savior. We take the Gospel for granted and so focus more on what we bring to the table—the Good News—rather than fall down prostrate in the dust, simply amazed at what God has brought to the table. It’s why I want to thank Horatius Bonar for this remarkable poem.”

From: www.joniandfriends.org, 5 Minute Radio Program, extracted April 16, 2013

Do You Know Him?

Published on April 15, 2013April 15, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

He’s so dreamy. I mean that if I close my eyes it’s like I can imagine soft blue eyes looking lovingly at me, telling me He knows me just as I am, He loves me just as I am, and He will always be the love of my life.

He’s so tall as well. He towers over me and it is good as He protects me, carries me when I collapse, lifts me up when I am weak, and draws me up close to His warm embrace. Somehow I feel taller and stand straighter when He is near.

He’s so strong. It’s as if I can feel the strength of His arms, His words, His promises to me and all good things whether or not He is actually present. Makes me stronger too. I can face this or that, good or bad, when His strength goes before me. Always.

He’s so smart. He knows what I am thinking even before I say it or I might raise an eyebrow or lower a tear! Wow. That goes beyond intuition, friendship, or our times together getting to know one another. He crafts many special times for me that may look questionable at the time, yet if I but trust Him, it all works out o.k. over time. It’s like He’s always known me and knows what is best for me.

He’s so encouraging. He brings me to the window to see the bluebirds back at the bluebird house this Spring before the little cutie flies away and would otherwise be missed. What a wonderful encouragement on a day that starts in the afternoon! Oh and His words are filled with hope and promise of a better day in addition to the reminders of our sweet times together in the past too. Thank you for helping me to remember.

He’s so thoughtful. He reminds me of the blessings of many days gone by when my stinking thinking has gone to a place of darkness. He also places in my path the loving arms of my hubby when my Stevers would normally be at work already and not able to calm the shaking of my tender frame. He allows him to become like Him with skin on.

He does want the best for me. Like a perfect father, like a perfect grandparent, like a best friend, he will be with me now and forever, leading me on to be the best woman I can be if I but follow Him. He’ll let me know what I need to know if I but wait at His feet with an open heart, an open mind. What an adventure we have together!

Yes, this person is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is real. He is in my heart now and forevermore.

Do you know Him too?