I don’t care how old you get
Or what you end up tinkering with
As long as you save the best for last
And that is me, I do believe I will be happy!
Happy new year and many blessings to my beloved Steve. Your love, devotion, selfless acts of service, and witness for Jesus Christ deserve a post all of your own. I am so very grateful to the Lord for the privilege of being married to you! Rock on my dear. Shall we put together another year of adventure?
I love you truly, Just Julie
The darkest time of night
Brings hope in ways not the norm:
When breathing is restored and the room stands still
My mind clears and my Lord speaks in ways never heard before.
He knows my frame
And delivers me once again
With less pain overall these days
And more wisdom than trauma for all the suffering.
For alas I can go
To such a wretched place
Time and again whilst wondering “why?”
Only to find hidden answers just for me, in the those tender places.
Not all makes sense
And that can be o.k. in the end
When I know the Lord is at the helm
And uses my suffering for His glory, my healing, to bring light, and more.
No, it was not wasted
When I found you who came along
This way with me where the blackest times of night
Served to shine streams of sunshine into days once lived in shades of gray.
Oh to keep mediocrity!
That would be dreadful indeed.
To never see beyond vanilla, boring landscapes
Creeping traffic in the middle lane when the Audubon beckons in a Ferrari 458.
Mach 1 with your hair aflame
Is bound to singe your eyebrows too
But how will you know if you are truly alive my dear
If you have not seen, tasted death along the edges of life truly lived whoot, whoot?
Because when it is over
A job will be waiting for you as me:
To tell our stories to those stuck in the dark
Or on an exit ramp on the wrong road they once thought went nowhere too.
There is always more
Even when our breaths are numbered
When we each see the door to the last destination
And can no longer wonder if we did too much or too little when our past cannot change.
The door to eternity awaits us both dear one:
With adventure of which we cannot conceive;
A place filled with wonder and no more tears
Where our heart will be home, finally, at last.
Will you risk this to be true and come to Him?
Will you lay down your fight, the need to know
To let Jesus Christ be your true reason to live:
The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end.
Even when in our hearts we must let Him reign
Leading our thoughts and quieting all our fears
Adding His increase when no strength remains.
Finding this kind of peace transcends all we see:
We will find more than the mind can imagine for
We will live at peace I tell you for this I have seen.
:JJ
Gotcha! ;J
Thank the Lord for Facebook!
Remember that John Lennon song from the 70’s, Whatever gets you through the night . . . it’s alright . . . it’s alright by me?” Well I am not endorsing riotous living by any means! I am saying that for me this past weekend, having a Closed Group in which to vent some drama was my “whatever” that got me through a couple of unusual nights and days when everyone else was asleep. Thanks for being there Cyber Friends. Here they are, out in the open:
Friday
Up very late again after the Lord added His increase so I could do some baking. There’s one more day to go entertaining in our home while trying to: avoid toxic (chemical & mold) exposures and squirrel away when the convulsions come. My hubby’s kids have done a reasonable job following our precautions, thankfully. I’ve missed some activities again this year. (For example, a partial Skype date with more family when I had to leave for an hour-long noxious episode!) Sometimes I feel like I have disappeared and other times it’s just me spending so dang much time in the kitchen preparing my special diet. Guess I’m glad I finally got my stuff done! I’ll have more food prep help tomorrow. Hey thanks for listening!
Saturday
Strangeness abounds! Still alone again after not being able to get up to join family due to wretched convulsions. Instead of making a nice honey maple ham dinner (for which I had prepared last night) my husband’s daughter made a different lunch for everyone. I was still in bed seizing! Now I’m up eating my special food alone with you and the Lord in front of our pretty tree.
The fam went indoor go-kart racing! Before they left and whilst praying the spiritual warfare would end, I got a text that my ex-husband needed to contact me for the first time in 10 years! Could he have gotten saved? So my time alone now has been tranformed into a prayer time.
No worries. The Lord has me and you gently in the palm of His hand. I see He may have “others” there too and it is all good.
Update to follow . . . With love, J
Sunday
Finally stabilized and was able to go out to eat with relatives after a wretched morning (aka husband carrying me to the bathroom then bringing me some food before I crashed for another 2 hours while he went off to church). No, the ex did not get saved so I will continue to pray if he comes to mind and in the meantime block further communication for sanity reasons.
Sometimes it just helps to vent the drama that characterizes a life with serious illness. I’ll bet that many of you reading this get it. Our “new normal” never really feels normal at all. I rest in the fact that the Lord sees all and carries me though each breath. When I couldn’t breathe later last night in repeated seizes, I reminded myself that I ain’t dead yet so it must be all uphill from here! “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6: you rock! It’s gonna be a better week! :J
Addendum:
Have a blessed couple of days, Gentle Reader, making the most of whatever is remaining in 2014. With a ton of yummy leftovers in the frig and sweet Christmas memories too, it’s going to be alright, alright, alright by me too. :JJ
Our theme for 2014 has to be, “moving from darkness into the light.” While the year was filled with many of our usual travels and activities, the frustration of worsening illness for me had tested everything I believed about love, faith in the Lord, and hope. Persistence paid off, standing firm in my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ despite incredible suffering, and we are now encouraged beyond measure. I AM GOING TO GET WELL!!! And how about my beloved Steve? Well he is wonderful, as always. Here’s our 2014 briefing:
Competitive kayaking within the United States Canoe Association and related delegate activities filled the warmer months of my beloved’s calendar and provided opportunities to travel within our home state of Indiana as well as the South. We took an annual trip for the January USCA meeting and got to see family and friends along the way; Steve travelled and camped alone for the National competition in August, bringing home a respectable finish in his surf ski and outrigger canoe despite an extra swim or two during the surf ski race! Steve also became one of the primary firearms safety instructors this past year for classes held at our church (yes church!). His work has been rewarding with lots of interesting projects and the promise of continued work well into next year, gratefully. And during the lunch hour if it’s snowy, he’s leading the Exelis cross country ski pack of adventurist engineers around the grounds. If the pavement is dry no matter the temp, he’s trading the lead in challenging cycling workouts at top speeds uphill or down . . . On land and sea: Go Steeeeeeve!
Quick Update on Steve’s Kids: Christina is thriving in her work assignments in Thailand despite enduring a train wreck, adventures with her motorbike and truck (as in shifting left-handed whilst driving on the left side of the road!), and learning two new languages: one for daily communication and another for translation work. She is amazing! Patrick and Kate welcomed baby Warren James Horney into the world in September and we are looking forward to meeting him this Christmas. Two year old big brother Jackson Rees is simply adorable: talking up a storm and even driving his own motorized vehicle around their home in North Carolina. Yes, the car bug is definitely in the Horney genes! (See this video for details!) Rebekah continues her Masters studies in international education and recently got engaged to Pancho/Daniel/Francisco Anaya Diaz (don’t ya love the Spanish culture?). She is exceedingly excited for their Chicago wedding in May of 2015; we are happy for both of them and look forward to getting to know Pancho too. Daniel and Elizabeth are finally living in the same locale since getting married in June of this year! Daniel successfully completed his tenure in the Marines (North Carolina) and Elizabeth graduated from West Point (New York). They are together now in Fort Rutger, Alabama as she begins helicopter training in the Army while Daniel begins college for Physical Therapy Assistant in January. As you can see, our hearts are full with all the goodness shared here . . . now just come and see us a bit more ya hear? J
While much of my year focused on doctoring, testing, new treatments, and complications therein, in September my astute chiropractor from a small town practice encouraged me to get tested for mercury toxicity. The results came back as very high. Whoa. We were stunned. Additional testing has confirmed these results and helped my family doctor chart a course of treatment that should relieve most of the symptoms that have been so challenging each day of these past 3 years. PRAISE THE LORD!!! And just when the isolation of staying home much of the time to mitigate symptoms was taking its toll, two lovely ladies and I have joined together in a weekly Skype Bible Prayer Group. We laugh as much as we pray, oh yeah! I am also grateful to have continued some gardening activities in our own landscape and in the Everlasting Garden at the Allen County Cooperative Extension Office. Keeping dirt under my fingernails from March to October is the best therapy of all sometimes!
So as we prepare to celebrate with loved ones the birth of our Lord and Savior, we are humbled and grateful for so many blessings this past year. Even the serious stroke that my brother had in April has renewed our personal relationship as well as his walk with the Lord. Every part of our story is ending this year with a brightness that simply was not there last year. How fitting this is and symbolic of the Light of the World Who entered our midst two millennia ago to redeem us, to bring us into fellowship with Him for all time.
We hope you are encouraged by our Christmas Letter 2014. We hope that you too will celebrate all the possibilities of the most important relationship in which we are invited to partake. The love of Jesus Christ can transcend all things and bring everlasting joy to each one of us. Oh yes!
Merry Christmas with love, Steve and Julie
‘Twas a dark and rainy night deep in the heart of Texas. We had just travelled over 1200 miles the past two days when the 5-pointed star on the black metal gate came into view. In just a few minutes we would be safely in bed, asleep at last. Or so we thought anyways!
Rain had sprinkled the roads without incident for the last few hours as our caravan had made its way from Indiana to Texas. Since when does it rain in the Lone Star State? Well it’s good for them but not for the weary travelers who must set up camp in the muddy grounds of my in-law’s ranchette. As it should be, the horses roam free here and reminders of this are soft underfoot as we park near the barn. Holy crap!
The plastic mat near the door, that I read on an RV forum to be a nifty idea, went from good to bad in a matter of minutes! It would be another hour before we would realize that we should not wear shoes inside the newly outfitted travel trailer that would be our home for the week. Remnants of Armani and Buddy would grace our socks and that’s just the way it would be. Eventually we tucked our shoes underneath the camper to keep them dry. O.k. That works!
Our pup Elle adapted quickly to the wide open spaces. I never really saw where she decided to potty over the course of our visit and that is just fine by me. Eventually the mounds of racquet-ball sized horse manure would dry on all of us and we would figure out the clearest path from the trailer to the house in the daytime and in the nighttime too. We simply opted to wipe Elle’s feet every time before she entered our humble abode for the night. The rest of the time? I just cannot account for that. She settled in with the old girl lab, Leah, and darling retriever, Molly, in their respective pecking order and all was well with the world. Elle would be depressed for days after returning home for having bonded with everything furry out there . . .
But the tasks at hand upon our arrival to KK Ranch were not done yet as morning drew near. Attaching our heavy duty power cord tripped the breaker in the barn no matter how my beloved Steve tried to configure it. At 4 in the morning we just did not feel comfortable waking up Kyle and Katherine for advice. Lights, refrigeration, and microwave/convection power would have to wait; we had what power we needed from our stored battery power. Then in a stroke of genius, Steve attached the charger to the shore power via the smaller outdoor cord provided then attached the charger to the battery of the trailer. Ola! We had enough AC to run the lights and tickle the frig until we could figure out a better configuration in the daylight. In the end Steve ran two separate cords from each of the two outlets to the camper: one for the frig and a second one for the lights and electric heater. We simply would not use the microwave for this leg of our trip. No problemmo.
Then our attention turned to connecting water supply. Most folks not familiar with trailer and RV camping have probably seen the American Lampoon and Robin William’s RV movies that magnify the importance of good sewer lines and running H2O! If you don’t have access to fresh water, things go bad really fast! Steve attempted to connect our two hoses to the spicket adjacent to the barn only to find that the short threading of the former prevented attachment. No problemmo once again. That’s why we brought extra water in case of an emergency for flushing the toilet, rinsing our hands, and nourishing the dog. Within a day we were able to get everything together but the spicket leaked badly, flooding the ground around the barn. Within another couple of days our gracious host purchased some new hoses, pulled everything together with a firm twist of a massive wrench, and all was well with the world.
The day we over-filled the black water tank underneath the trailer came as a surprise. Only 3 1/2 days had passed and we were nearly maxed out! By this point we had already dumped the gray water tank onto the ground ’cause hey, this is the country ya know? A little soapy water from the sink and shower is good for the land anyways. But dumping raw sewage even softened with an biodegradable enzyme tablet is not exactly the best gift to leave behind after a holiday weekend with relatives! This created a dilemma for me. I need to get up multiple times in the middle of the night pre and post-seizure episodes to use the facilities. Walking 50 yards in the dark to go into the house would surely keep me up more of the night than would be advisable to sacrifice. Somehow in the end, we made it to the max of our capacity just one day before departure and visiting the free dumping facilities of the Flying J truck stop north of Austin. It is amazing how much “stuff” that tank can hold!
And just when we thought the initiation of the newbie travel trailerers would be complete, there was one final challenge and it came in the light of day at the end of our stay. Ya know, we don’t intend to use the television anyways! My beloved whacked the T.V. antenna on a lower branch of a tree as we were preparing to leave KK Ranch. The mushroom shaped projection on the roof got sheared off at its base leaving a black cord dangling mercilessly from beyond our reach. Oh well. Our roof is more streamlined now!
Arriving in a foreign land in the middle of the night poses a test of character for even the most seasoned of married couples. In the end I had to smile at the interpretation each of us had at all of the unfortunate circumstances we faced together. While Steve was facing the elements in the crud and cool evening air when we arrived, I was setting up camp inside our humble abode and taking care of the pup. This is how we work as a team and that is nothing new for us. We both get busy completing the tasks at hand. The bigger picture was telling a different story however; we shared that one with each another after some sleep.
My beloved was concerned that I might be upset that he requested we drive very long days to get to our destination in just two days instead of the almost three days we spent over the same route last year. Arriving in the middle of the night came as a consequence of driving 12 or more hours each day and leaving later than expected trying to get everything prepared for each leg of our journey. On the other hand I was concerned he would be upset with me that we have to bother with all of this travel trailer stuff and expense to meet my health needs. When the Lord graciously provided the resources to purchase a new-used unit and outfit it according to my sensitivity needs I did not realize that I had overwhelmed Steve with this project. Making allergy-free cushions, finding the right wheel chocks, assembling enough linens from here and there, and so on was fun to focus on when so much of my time is spent in the throes of illness and recovery. In the end we worked through all of it and had some fun creating this new memory together.
Somewhere in the middle of this night in a land far away is another starry-eyed couple making a cross country journey. Somewhere in the course of things they will encounter wacky setbacks and have to go to bed with remnants of those unpleasantries still stuck to their feet between the sheets. I hope that they too will discover the wonder of it all: ’tis better to smile and say goodnight than to expect things to be perfect and crash into bed in a different heart-place. “Trust the process” has been my mantra over many years as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and over many trials. Besides if everything worked out right all of the time, what would we all blog about anyways?
Happy trails campers! JJ
Jesus is for the Wounded 
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