Long before sun up

Recovering from a serious illness sure can make your daily schedule wacky!  I know that I’m not alone when surfing Facebook and find a few lone rangers out there overnight in the various Lyme and Mold forums.  Tis sweet.  Often I get my best thinking, creating and writing done just before sun up.  I used to say it was, “making lemonade out of lemons.”  Yeah, o.k.  I’m just glad to have some moments of clarity no matter when they come!

Here’s the latest fruits of my labors.  Something good from Trinity Jewelry by Design:

Think Spring!
Think Spring!
DSCF9448
Black leather wraps in style!

He’s Still on the Line

hold you tight

Long after my beloved is asleep

Devastated by unanswered prayers and sorrows so deep

I lie awake my body tossing, trembling

Such are the storms of night:  unending.

From wherest does my help come from

When prayers bring no relief with each day’s sun?

The hopes are dashed, the relief doesn’t last

And the damage, the pain continues no less.

So many nights where nightmares became reality

So much suffering sends off all memories of normalcy.

People leave your life even when they like you

For fear, for powerlessness, for horror of what is your truth.

New sojourners may come only to wallow awhile with you

Should you happen to find a way out they will be long gone too.

Choose wisely your inner circle my friend

Make sure the Lord is closest-in when the nightmare ends.

He will never leave:  His love will fill the gaps

Where others must fail, supernatural strength is what lasts.

You can call Him near, like a salve to the wounds of war

Then peace will come . . . you can carry on from there, dear one.

Now here’s a love song that reminds me of these times with my beloved Steve:  he holds me close while the Lord is still “on the line,” listening to our hearts and holding both of us near to His own.   From a simpler time:

Still on the Line

Time for a change

From Family Practice Physician to Lyme Literate Medical Doctor, from Chiropractor to Obgyn, our medical doctor tries to do it all.  I have benefitted from his expertise yet I am still not well.  And when I saw the redness and exhaustion in his eyes during my appointment this evening I realized that he is not well either!

Everyone who sees this gifted physician knows his crazy schedule, his dedication to help everyone in his care, and his history of nearly dying a couple of years ago with his own debilitating illness.  We used to hear how his office conversion to the government mandated computer system was responsible for incredible stress and delays in appointment times.  For example, it was not unusual to call the office in the morning about an appointment scheduled for 10:00 a.m. and not be called in for my appointment until 4:00 p.m. or later.  Forget the ones scheduled after 3:30 p.m. as they were usually rescheduled.  For awhile about one-third of my appointments were re-scheduled, delaying receiving test results or reviewing the status of a particular medical condition for months.  Frustrating indeed.

Yet when there was an acute issue, the Doc was right on it.  When something new popped up I was sent to the hospital in another section of the medical park for labs or scans, held in the waiting room for results, and sometimes seen back in the office much later that night.  To be seen well into the evening was not an unusual occurrence.  My record was an appointment that started at 2:30 a.m.!  He had one more patient after me and had just received notice that one of his pregnant patients was going into labor.  He must have never gone home that night or morning!  Dedication had become insanity.  We talked about it during that visit.  He agreed.  I understand that some scheduling and office procedure changes were put in place for this new year.  As near as I can tell, the staff and Doc are ending their nights before midnight now.  Virtually the same story, different day.

I recently blogged about some important abnormal test results being misplaced for six months.  That has happened another time as well.  Tonight there was only enough time to go over about half of a detailed genetic cholesterol study.  He handed it to me and said, “here, you take this.”  Whaaat?  He thought the “high CBD hemp oil” that I reported was reducing the seizure attacks 40% was vitamins C, B, and D.  Er, no!  After correcting the computer’s voice recognition software two dozen times, I believe he understood what I was saying:  sitting there with my ventilation mask on to avoid seizure attacks from some mysterious exposure in the office.

Mysterious was the exposure until I asked one of the nurses about it.  I had asked before and a different nurse declined comment.  And yet tonight in her own fatigue, a long-time employee openly shared how their office has routine leaks in the ceiling throughout the summer.  The staff has complained about the musty smell and requested testing for mold spores.  Evidently the tests came back “negative.”  The nurses still battle sickness at work.  A friend of mine who is a patient there can detect the musty smell but I cannot.  I just get tic attacks sitting in the treatment room for 2 hours waiting for the Doc!  My worst episode lasted 2 1/2 hours NON-STOP began after midnight dominated by convulsions most of the time!  My husband came to pick me up around 4:00 a.m.!  I’m sure that exhaustion and stress were a factor being in the office so late that night but hey, I was sitting in a water damaged building to be seen by my doctor for mold illness!  Whaaaat?  Soon after that I started wearing a mask every visit!

I have learned so much from my brilliant Doctor.  He is a Christian man who really cares about his patients.  He has provided better care for me for six years here in this smaller Indiana town than I ever received in the large metropolitan area of Chicago.  When my health got significantly worse 2 1/2 years ago I hung in there with him, hopeful that we would find answers.  I was also unsuccessful finding another MD or clinic to address the intractable seizures, pain, etc.  Gratefully, the Lord has now led me to another clinic in Michigan with two physicians specializing in methylation issues and biotoxin (mold) illness, respectively.  After three phone consultations, extensive paperwork, and additional lab testing completed, my husband and I are preparing for my first in-person visit on March 24th.  We will stop at a lab near the clinic for additional blood work to better match Dr. Richie Shoemaker’s protocols for “Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome.”  My current MD and I have worked closely on Dr. Shoemaker’s protocol yet neither of us are officially trained; this led to using the wrong laboratories, incomplete test results when the samples were not processed correctly, and improper sequencing of the treatment plan.  Two very expensive medications from an out-of-state compounding pharmacy either did not work or made me much worse.  We tried!  The biotoxin illness Doc at the new clinic works closely with Dr. Shoemaker and is a Christian too.  I am encouraged.  Lyme disease is not the focus at the moment and that’s o.k.

So it’s time for a change.  I still have appointments on the books with my primary care physician as someone will need to monitor ongoing health issues not covered by the new clinic.  He has asked for copies of all of the testing and reports so I am happy to oblige.  With the Lord’s help I will continue tweaking the dose of high CBD hemp oil in hopes of reducing even further the seizure attacks and noxious symptoms that follow.  The Lord is guiding me step-by-step, including through the spiritual leadership of my beloved Steve.  I am so glad I heeded hubby’s advice and did not start seeing every expert who sounded good on the internet!  When moments are better for me, we celebrate and don’t think about the bad times.  We both see examples of how the Lord has used this season in our lives for His glory.  We are closer than ever, more in love than ever before and for that I am grateful.  I am closer to Christ than ever before as well knowing that He heard my truly desperate cries for help the night before I first started the CBD oil.  I was ready to die and it was not to be.  I was spared from further anguish and suffering, turning a corner to better things at last.

If you are suffering this day, this night:  do not give up!  There’s a blogger praying for you Gentle Reader.  More importantly the God Who created the universe knows your name, sees you, knows your pain, and gave his life so that one day your heartache would end.  Please draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  Everything will be worked together for good someday if you but call upon the Lord and let Him into your heart.  These statements are based upon His Word and promises that are true today and always.  The Great Physician will see you through, always my dear one.  Take care,  JJ

CBD Hemp Oil and Seizures

Personal Update:  I continue to experience a 40% overall improvement in seizure activity and related noxious symptoms just 16 days after starting high CBD hemp oil (HCBDHO).  After 2 1/2 years of serious complications to Lyme, mold, Candida and biotoxin illness:  I am amazed!

Here’s the research that I found that led me to discovering this LEGAL alternative to medical marijuana (more on that in a moment):

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7413719

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7028792

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22696383

After seeing that there was authentic clinical research supporting the use of “cannabis” for epilepsy, even though I was diagnosed with non-epileptic seizures, I wondered how I might obtain it.  Purchasing medical marijuana when it’s not legal in your State is a complicated process and risky.  Some persons have obtained State I.D.’s in the state where MM is legal, set up post office boxes and even used the addresses of friends or family who live in the MM state.  I did not feel comfortable with this, even though I was suffering tremendously on a daily basis.

The story of Charlotte changed everything.  Charlotte was 5 years old when her parents became heartbroken over the hundreds of daily seizures their precious daughter had as part of Dravet’s syndrome.  Her father researched alternatives to the myriad of medications that were not working and found CBD medical marijuana.  Finding some to try was difficult even in Colorado where MM is legal since CBD is generally in concentrations too low to make a difference.  CBD can reduce the “high” and confound the benefits of THC found in MM; it was long ago cultivated out of most strains.  The parents found the Stanley brothers who had high CBD hemp, were willing to grow it for Charlotte, and were willing to sell it to them with the proper orders from two pediatricians as required in Colorado.   Charlotte’s seizures stopped for days after the first dose!  She is now gaining in all developmental milestones and reclaiming her young life much to the delight of her parents.  Other parents around the world are flocking to Colorado to get on the waiting list for Charlotte’s Web:  the high CBD cannabis.

I believe it is the Lord who allowed me to ask the question of whether or not CBD (cannabidiol, a type of cannibinoid) is available in other types of cannabis.  While medical marijuana and hemp are the same genus of cannabis but the species containing mostly THC is generally cannabis sativa and the species containing mostly CBD is generally cannabis indica.  From here I will call CBD/cannabis indica:  hemp.  Industrial Hemp is another term for non-psychoactive cannabis.

Industrial hemp is grown outside of the USA and imported for hemp fiber products, oil with elevated essential fatty acids, and more.  When cultivated for high CBD, hemp oil has more physical effects and can be sedative as it acts upon the endocannibinoid system of our cell walls.  There’s a lot of technical stuff here so I’ll save that for another post.  THE TAKE HOME MESSAGE is that you do not have to use MM to get the benefits of high CBD hemp oil:  HCBDHO can be extracted from hemp plants as a nutritional product and that product is LEGAL in all 50 of the United States of America!

Industrial Hemp is grown outside of the USA for fiber, cleaning up soil contamination, fuel, clothing, paper, oil high in essential fatty acids, and CBD oil.
Industrial Hemp is grown outside of the USA for fiber, cleaning up soil contamination, fuel, clothing, paper, oil high in essential fatty acids, and CBD oil.

From here I set out to figure out how a person takes HCBDHO, how is it dispensed, who sells the best products for me, and what companies are reputable.   I did not want a product from a start-up company with an inferior product laced with flavorings, fillers, and sweeteners.  I needed a concentration that would be effective and cost-effective as pure oils can be pricey.  I wanted a company who could answer my questions and had sound business practices to indicate that it would still be there for me next month and next year when I got well.  I believe I have found that product and that company.  (For more information and information on how to obtain a discount, contact me via the Facebook page:  www.facebook.com/seizurefreezone)

Today I just wanted to share that for persons with seizures and seizure-like episodes, there will be hope for many in the use of high CBD hemp oil.  It’s been here all along, running under the radar of controversial medical marijuana.  Who knew?  Now you do too!  Please share this information with others who might be interested!

P.S.  Relief for persons with seizures is just the beginning.  Just Google any of the key words written here “and” a medical condition or symptom (for example CBD and fibromyalgia). You just might be delighted with what you find!

P.P.S. Watch an informative video by Dr. Sanjay Gupta, a former White House Fellow under the Clinton Administration at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4GUkzTnFG0   Remember to watch for the mentioning of CBD, THC, or ratios of the two together.   Of course, preparations with THC will require purchase in a State where MM is legal!  :J

A Bridge Still has Value

Recently a friend challenged me on my reading of a popular devotional by Sarah Young, Jesus Calling (2004, Thomas Nelson Inc.)  Since I have referenced at least two of her daily devotions in this blog, I thought I should discuss the book here.  Here is my reply:

Jesus Calling

I re-read the Introduction to Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling plus a few devotionals, listened to Warren Smith’s presentation last year on You Tube about the book (July 24, 2013), and checked out Hank Haanagraf’s remarks from one of his Bible Answer Man broadcasts (November 16, 2012).  I see valid criticisms.  Sarah Young fails to put a clear focus on the sovereignty of God separate from us; by speaking in the first person she blurs the line.  Missing is mention of a clear path to salvation (and the gifts of eternal life in addition to true peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control) that comes only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  She tends to bring God along with her instead of placing God as head of the body of Christ; this is often the sign of a carnal Christian or new believer.  The book also uses metaphors and popular analogies that are not necessarily Biblical to bring the reader into the perspective of how God might view our daily lives.  Her focus on these types of experiences can be problematic for many reasons including misleading a person who tends to be led by emotion instead of the immutable truth of the Word of God.  And lastly, the book does nothing to point a seeker to the Bible, a healthy well-balanced Christian church, fellowship with other believers, or educate him or her on the basic tenants of Christian faith.
If Jesus Calling were a Bible commentary, it would fail.  If Jesus Calling was intended as a tool for evangelism, it would fail.  If Jesus Calling was designed to be used by apologists to defend the faith, they would lose the debate.  While she quotes relevant verses with each devotional, her applications might not be universal to everyone (and Warren Smith knocks down many of them).  Perhaps she could be more accurate.  Perhaps she was taking a little extra literary license to illustrate the softer themes of life represented with verses that are more easily understood?
I am sad that a warm and friendly book that greases the seeker’s heart with a beginning understanding of the nature of God cannot also be more direct about essentials of the Christian faith too.  Perhaps a Max Lucado book would do better?  He uses poetry and prose with loving imagery to reach the broken hearted as well.  Maybe at some level both authors are similar?  You could say that their feel-good books distract a person from delving into the Bible yet they could also give another person a place to go when the Bible is just too intimidating.  A scholarly book (i.e. the Bible or a commentary) and a scathing review by a New Age fear-monger such as Warren Smith, will not comfort the heart of a person in crisis!
Sarah Young’s book could use some other improvements.  I don’t know why her testimony in the beginning does not include a salvation story per se.  Does this mean that she is not saved?  We just don’t know.  Again it is often literary license that an author uses more general terms of faith so as not to scare off wounded seekers that really need Him!  Jesus Calling may still be useful as an introduction to a more personal God for a lost soul who may have been hurt by religion or a skewed view of who He really is.  Seeing how God really does understand, cares about the details of one’s daily life, and is ever near is clear on these pages.  Reading this could help old wounds to heal.  Women often need this most.  Their minds will still need truth so the seeker should not end his or her search with Jesus Calling, however.  The book should have ended with an invitation to a closer relationship with God through His son, Jesus Christ and encourage the reader in his or her next steps as noted in my first paragraph.  It does not.
Is it New Agey?  The fact that Sarah does not go deeper into essential matters of Christian doctrine could make it look like just another feel good book about a generic God.  One might begin to pick apart themes in the devotionals and say that the God in Jesus Calling is not the God of the Bible.  And if the God in the book is not the God of the Bible then it must be about Satan or some New Age alternative that is neither one.  So the next step could be to claim that Jesus Calling is a New Age book because of this and because of its use of terms reflective of popular culture, the New Age movement.  Yes all of this could be true and indirectly move a seeker away from the One true God that he or she had hoped to find in an empty book.  Or maybe not.  I have more faith in the Lord’s plan for those who earnestly seek after Him.  He calls His own.  Her or she will find Him in a babbling brook if that is His will!
Many would criticize my own bridge to faith in Christ that was built through the 12 steps of Al Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics.  The daily devotional, One Day at a Time, is quite vanilla.  The God of the 12 Steps is generic albeit consistent with the basic tenants of a Christian faith from the Bible.  Tis sad that many stop at “recovery” and faith in a Higher Power in these meetings and never find the God of the Bible.  But the Lord had a plan for me from that feel-good experience and used those 9 years for His glory.  I would have never approached the throne of grace had I not healed from so much while sitting around the tables, held in the basement of many churches and not in the sanctuary.
I make two references to Jesus Calling in my eBook, Hope Beyond Lyme:  The First Year.  In the first I quote a nice encouragement Sarah Young gives about:  1) many of us seeing only a part or the “tip of the iceberg” when faced with confusing situations and 2) our needing to trust God for that which we cannot see or comprehend:  mysteries.  The second time I quote the book I name both Mrs. Young’s devotional along with a secular book of comedy as books with some wisdom but that both are second to the Bible.  I wonder if my friend misunderstood me:  Jesus Calling is not my second favorite book!   I read Jesus Calling over these past 2 years when I was in crisis every day and struggled to hold a heavy Bible let alone concentrate on it.  Because it comforted me I included it when writing the eBook.  I read my Bible most days anyways, of course!  The centrality of the Bible for me and for the eBook should be clear by the over twenty passages of scripture quoted and referenced.
No book is a replacement for the truth, hope, and eternal significance of the Holy Bible.  Today I am grateful to have a Bible App on my smart phone that I can easily hold in the palm of my hand in bed during trying times.  The Lord has opened my mind to more of His Word and the ability to concentrate on it too.  I am grateful for a temporary tool, a small devotional book, that the Lord used to comfort my heart until I could read His Word again.  I pray for spiritual armor to protect me and wisdom to discern any unsound doctrine that would harm my relationship to my King, my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I also pray that the millions of readers of Jesus Calling would continue to seek the Lord and find Him in the person of Jesus Christ alone.  Thank you Lord for my friend’s willingness to dialogue on this important topic.  May it all be for Your glory, in Jesus’ name.  Amen.