recovery – Page 12 – Jesus is for the Wounded

Father Save Me From This Hour

Published on April 3, 2014April 3, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded3 Comments

Such was the cry of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ as He prepared to die a tortuous death on the cross at Calvary: before His glorious resurrection and what we have come to celebrate as Easter.

The sins of the world hung in the balance that day, separating us from the love of the Father in heaven. Until the time of Christ a Jew was required to bring sacrifices to atone for his or her sins and that of the family. Bringing sacrifices, keeping the Sabbath, and a plethora of Jewish holidays dominated religious life. These rituals and following the rule of law (including the Ten Commandments) was the only way to get to heaven before the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Then God’s Word teaches us that He came to save the world if we but repented and believed in His saving grace, His death and resurrection. He became the Passover lamb that was slain. Gifts of eternal life, indwelling of the Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts, fellowship with other believers and more follows for those who come forward. But it’s not all rosy living the Christian walk . . .

Yes, there is much good in the world, much happiness in this life. And then there is the bad stuff too. The reason for the bad stuff is an important topic yet it goes in another direction than my discussion today. Let’s just say that evil is here and it will always be here until Jesus Christ comes again. When bad stuff happens, someone suffers. Our Lord knew what suffering felt like as He was ridiculed, whipped within inches of His life, and sentenced to a horrific death for something he did not do. He came into the world willingly from the eternal realm out of love for us. Conversely, we rarely come to our suffering in the world willingly. Our suffering comes as a consequence of living in a fallen, imperfect world as sinners. Further, our suffering isn’t always fair. Sometimes it comes when we are close to God, working hard, doing good, loving others, and making the most out of our finite lives. Many times it just doesn’t make sense.

I just finished listening to a gentle message by the late Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa entitled, “Prayer of a Troubled Heart.” Pastor Smith developed this topic better than I can so I would encourage you to listen to the audio sermon if the subject is on your mind these days. I was comforted by his instruction that our suffering can be God working out eternal purposes in our earthly lives for our eternal glory. If we could somehow change God’s plan for our lives we would be obstructing God’s eternal purposes. “Even from the pain and suffering, eternal good is going to come.” We can point to the life of the apostle Paul who endured physical infirmity and still carried or “deposited” the Gospel message to countless peoples throughout the known world of his time.

¹²That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

¹³What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. ¹⁴Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us. 2 Timothy 1

The apostle Paul encourages us to trust, to have faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ no matter what our “light and momentary” affliction might be. In light of all eternity, our time of illness is short indeed.

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4

Relying on the scriptures brings the power of God into our weary hearts and minds. We find stories of triumph over trials that encourage us. Hebrews 11 describes several pillars of faith, empowered by God to endure, overcome, and bring glory to God as they saw His plan unfolding before their eyes. Joseph was sold into slavery, imprisoned in a dungeon, mocked then ended up saving the nation of Israel from starvation as others recognized his Godly character and abilities. There are many more men and women from whose example we can learn as well.

Drawing from the scriptures Pastor Smith guides us first to pray about the things troubling our souls. Second, we are to “reason” that God really does love me and is wiser than I am. I am not to base my understanding of His love for me on my circumstances but on who He is. The events of my life work out His eternal purposes for both me and those around me according to His Divine plans for good, for His glory. And third, I am to commit myself unto the will of the Father knowing that:

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

This is difficult to do! If it’s too difficult then I must first ask myself: in whose strength am I trying to get through the suffering? Do I keep asking the Lord to do this or that for me versus asking Him to help me? Reveal His will for me? Encourage me with His grace? Strengthen me to endure? Submit to His will knowing that His good is coming? I must put on my eternal glasses even if I cannot see anything beyond my situation. I need to ask Him to increase my faith and He will do it!

This insight came together after another and extremely wretched evening. Only once before have I completely collapsed without warning at the kitchen table requiring my husband to catch me from falling. Moments after he carried me to bed I cried the most guttural tears of my entire life. The most violent convulsions I have ever experienced followed. Steve prayed then cried too. It seemed to me like I was “weeping and gnashing (my) teeth” as the Bible describes for those in hell. It took a long time to recover. I still do not know why all this suffering is here for me and Steve. I do know how I am to handle it, however. That insight came earlier in the evening.

Unfortunately I never was able to join the home group discussion in my own home tonight. After welcoming our brothers and sisters in Christ and setting aside the goodies they brought for later, I attempted to walk to my seat in the living room. I was aware that my speech had become strained already. Then all of a sudden I felt sick: the pre-tic set of symptoms ramped up quickly indicating that what was coming next would not be good. I whispered into Steve’s ear from behind where he was sitting on the sectional that I wasn’t feeling well and scooted off to our bedroom. As my head was hitting the pillow the seizure attacks began! They were bad. They persisted with vocalizations that risked alarming our guests down the hall. Soon I heard a guitar playing and people singing. The worship had begun and the sounds would cover my episode. Thank you Lord.

I had hoped that the music would also quiet my tender frame in torment. Not so. The episode quieted into tic attacks and I was able to breathe more easily. In my spirit I cried out to the Lord to stop the episode. I feared many scenarios that could happen next in which others would end up horrified, witnessing some aspect of the seizures. Our master bathroom toilet was out of commission for repairs requiring all of us to use the bathroom in the hallway between where I was in bed and the living room. If I collapsed and was unable to walk, Steve would have to physically assist me to the bathroom partially in view of where everyone was sitting. I would first need to scream to alert him beyond the closed Master bedroom door. Nothing would be pleasant about the fact that I really needed to use the bathroom down the hall from me . . .

It’s as if the Lord was sitting right next to me in that bed at that moment. It’s as if I could see the slight scowl on His face as He “looked” me directly in the eye and wondered why I was telling Him what to do again. Had He not been with me in prior episodes? Had He not used this illness to reach thousands of people around the world with the Gospel through this blog? Had He not gifted me to write and create in ways that brought joy to my heart even in the middle of the night? Had He not provided for both Steve’s and my needs these past 2 1/2 years? Helped me become an Advanced Master Gardener? Strengthened Steve to win his first national kayaking award? Yes, He had worked in both of our lives incredibly despite the extreme suffering.

No one in their right mind wants to suffer. I don’t like this wretched illness and long for it to be over. Yet if I miss the teaching moments that come along the way then this suffering will be no more than an endurance race with no prize, no glory, no hope, no real encouragement for others who will come after me. The lesson I needed to learn this evening was to simply ask for the Lord’s HELP and let HIM do the rest. He knows why this episode was timed during the heart of our home group meeting and I do not. I need to trust Him on this one as I have during so many times of need in the past. His answers, His timing, His purposes have encouraged me more times than I can describe here in addition to numerous other people watching the events unfold. As Pastor Smith describes in his message: I do not want to obstruct God’s eternal purposes that will be for my good and His glory!

I must persevere in faith no matter what the cost. He will strengthen my faith. I must ask my Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ for help then wait on His leading, His answers. Jesus Christ did this very act of submission before the Father when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane knowing that His torture and death were imminent:

⁴²He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” Matthew 26

The God of the universe, living among us as a man yet fully God, submitted to the will of the Father, the purpose for which He was born into the world. He cried out for the Father to save him from that hour in crisis, for help. Most importantly He then submitted to the will of the Father and the world changed forever because of it. I will live a life eternally with my Jesus because He died on that cross for me. My time of suffering is not too much to bear with His help to live the life to which I am called. Sure it feels like hell. My faith transcends my broken frame and will bring an eternal reward that goes beyond my temporary affliction. With this I can go on.

What say you, Gentle Reader? He loves you too you know . . . Might you call on Him too? It just might rock your world in a good way. No kidding.

The Genius Between Us

Published on March 26, 2014June 21, 2016 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

If you lived in the Midwest of the United States in the mid-1960’s chances are good that you knew about slot car racing. It was the craze back then for hobbyists, car enthusiasts, boys, and the girls with brothers!

And if you were into performance slot car racing, then you would have selected either a Mura, Champion, or Dyna-Rewind motor to win. Not familiar with it? Check out these pictures:

A slot car racing enthusiast in the mid to late 1960s would bring his best cars in a wooden gear box to a local track. For about $.50 he (or she) could rent a lane and race whomever showed up that evening for 30 minutes. Competition was always fierce with fans and racers taking turns spotting cars around the track that had spun out or flown off in the heat of the battle. Each car had rubber tires, an electric motor, chassis, body, and plastic tongue-with-flat-metal-brushes on the bottom. The cars ran on a track with a groove in the middle of the lane and tiny metal or wire filaments on either side of the groove (which conducted the electricity as it made contact with the metal brushes). Each “driver” held a controller by which he (or she) could adjust the speed of the car by squeezing or releasing the lever on the handle. If you went too fast your car would either spin out or fly off the track! While the latter was quite spectacular it would often damage the car beyond repair — at least until the next Thursday night of racing!

Formal competitions and even professional drivers became legendary. In 1966 one racer in particular began beating the pants off of everyone in the Detroit area and carrying off all the trophies with his car powered by a special motor. Ted Lech had discovered how to make the motors faster by employing the adhesives, balancing principles, and rewinding concepts from his work at the General Motors Tech Center in Warren, Michigan. Soon others were clamoring to purchase the motors. Ted and his co-worker, “Bud” Stordahl created Dyna-Rewind and were quickly overwhelmed when orders came in from just about everywhere (including the UK and Japan) with each successive motor. In an interview with Pete Hagenbuch in the Car Model magazine of July 1967, “Mr. Motor” as they called him reveals the genius behind Dyna-Rewind motors. All was well and very exciting, however the slot car racing industry was beginning to diminish when toy manufacturers could not keep up with the performance output of the small-shop car guys. But the small-shop car guys couldn’t support the overall industry either. Then suddenly Ted Lech absconded with some of the business assets and vanished in 1969, never to be heard from again in the slot car racing world. Bud Stordahl closed Dyna-Rewind.

What happened? Well I guess you could say that not everyone handles success well. Ted Lech was my father: born March 30, 1937 in the Detroit, Michigan area. He married my mother, RoseAnne, in 1959 and I was born 9 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days later. We were living in a trailer park when I was born: a red and white mobile home at the beginning of the block. There was a sidewalk out front in which I rode my red and white tricycle with a bell and streamers on each of the handle bars. I loved riding my bike. Life was good for a 3 year old!

We moved into a house that my dad had selected in a new subdivision in Warren sometime in 1963. Michael was 2, I was 3, and Robert was on his way into the world thus necessitating the move up to a 3 bedroom ranch. We didn’t have much furniture so there was plenty of room in which we kids would play. The best spot was the basement: we could make all the noise we wanted to ’cause mom would just close the door at the top of the stairs into the kitchen! We had the coolest toys with which to play down there too. I remember a wooden train set on wheels that my dad had made where the cars hooked together and were big enough to hold each of us kids in our own train car. When we were lucky dad would whoosh us around the basement, carefully navigating around the black metal poles supporting the house upstairs! And if he would open the hamper shoot on us as we rolled under the hinged box he made in the ceiling, well that was really cool! Splat!

My dad built Dyna-Rewind in the basement of that house. I have come to understand that some of the operation was at the home of his business partner, Bud Stordahl, but I do not have any recollection of him or seeing the part of the operation that was in his garage in Birmingham. After all, I was a young kid back then. What I remember is all of the wooden tables that my dad had built and the increasing amount of tools and machinery that filled the basement. I remember playing with most of it, especially the rewinding machine, drill press, semi-circular magnets, black plastic display boxes with a clear lid, and even the motors. On a good day my dad would take us with him to race at “The Groove Raceway” in Royal Oak or perhaps another local track. In time he would take Mike and Rob more than me; perhaps I had developed other more girl-y interests too with my best friend who lived next door (Tammy Orlando). My brothers had a blast during their time with my dad. Mike became quite good at slot car racing and his ability to beat most anyone in games of all kinds continues to this day!

Flash forward to 2013. Out of the blue, my brother Mike makes contact with a French gentleman, Philippe de Lespinay, who was writing a new book to expand on his first publication, Vintage Slot Cars. Mike met with Mr. de Lespinaly, and shared the wooden gear box he had gotten from our dad containing a collection of Dyna-Rewind motors, slot cars, and my dad’s own hand-painted favorite too. Within a year from now the LA Slot Car Racing Museum is scheduled to open in California. I’m glad Mike didn’t sell out the family mementos, caving to Mr. de Lespinay’s repeated requests to both of us! I have one motor with a wire still attached to it. This was my memento actually from my brother Robert’s mobile home in Monument, Colorado when we were settling his affairs after he passed away in 2003. I displayed that motor where I could see it each morning for a long time. I already had several empty black plastic boxes like the one pictured above. A couple of them still store my unused gum wrappers from my 300+ foot gum wrapper chain tossed out long ago. Sure wish I had some of those magnets used inside the metal motor housing. We used to see how high we could stack them up before tumbling over and . . .

My brother called me about the book after his interview with Mr. de Lespinay a couple of weeks ago. So when Mike offered the opportunity for me to fill in my own details of this story I jumped in too. Mr. Stordahl had misreported some facts and perhaps was still a little sore about the sudden closing of the business in 1971. Evidently my father stole some of the business proceeds when he left with his technical genius as well. I am sad about that. The details of his leaving left scars with me too for a very long time. He had gone to California with another woman and did not return for a few months. The heartache for my mother and us three kids continued after his return to the Detroit area, through their divorce, and deepened when he left a second time: for decades. No one really knew where he was when he finally left Michigan. When we did discover that he was in Florida (and I later learned that he had also lived in Texas for a time) there was really no need for me to contact him. I had grown up, gone away to college, and moved to the Chicago suburbs to start my career in occupational therapy. Life had moved on. Sure I missed him. But life had to move on you see. My Heavenly Father filled in the gaps.

Flash forward about 30 years and our father has since reconciled with Mike and me. In 2007 my mother passed away and would never have contact with him before she died. She had moved on as well so I am not sure that it would have mattered to her anyways. Thaddeus Lech Jr. died in his 30-foot travel trailer along the Gulf Coast of Florida in 2011. He had become a renowned local fisherman; I can prove it with a few hundred photos I inherited of him holding up virtually every kind of fish that either spawned or was native to the Florida panhandle region of the Gulf of Mexico. He was also renowned in the automotive industry: inventor and co-inventor for Borg-Warner Automotive, holding over 20 patents for various types of clutch assembly and drive train components. His genius had continued! It makes sense that it would. When I was a kid he’d crafted the most phenomenal gerbil cages you could ever imagine for our pets Agatha, Ralph, and Dee. If I insert the word “sundeck” here you might be able to imagine the other rooms, elevated walkway, and security door too . . .

Everyone has a “past.” Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes there are reasons for those mistakes and sometimes it’s simply the manifestation of sin in our lives. My childhood is filled with a few more sad stories than happy ones yet gratefully the sorrow has faded away. There is much more to the story of my father that could be written here to fill in the details. Others have attempted to share the sordid details perhaps to give the retelling of Mr. Motor’s story a little more spice. I do not believe that is necessary at this time. When my father contacted Mike then me before my father passed away, we were able to both get re-acquainted and speak words of regret, words of forgiveness. I got to hear stories I never knew about myself as a girl and about this adventurous, brilliant, complicated man. His smile and sense of humor warmed my heart in a place I did not know existed when I had moved on so many decades ago. To hear the words, “I love you” was a salve I did not know I was craving for when they finally came at just the right time. Even my husband, Steve, was touched by my dad’s gentleness, incredible way of handling the characters of the travel trailer park he had managed, and sense of humor. They hit it off well: car guys always do.

I hope the sequel to Vintage Slot Cars is a success. I hope that racing fans from around the world visit the LA Slot Car Museum and talk about the amazingly fast Dyna-Rewind motors. As for the genius between my brothers and me in the photographs below: I will always love you dad. Thank you for the memories. With my orange motor labeled with the foil Dyna-Rewind sticker and stray wire hanging by a thread, I’m good.

Flowers for Algernon?

Published on March 22, 2014September 24, 2022 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Another temporary setback in my health tonight ended by a couple of drops of tea tree oil masking the noxious scent of perfume. I don’t do perfume very well and am grateful for this suggestion of a friend familiar with essential oils. Thank you Lord for Cindy and tea tree oil!

Sigh. How am I supposed to be around people when the scent of any products they might wear with fragrances can trigger seizures? I feel like a prisoner in my own home. If I linger away from my cocoon then I am at risk. And if a guest visits our home not wearing perfume but carrying a coat or wearing clothing scented from another day, BINGO. I get sick.

I endured three major setbacks including last night and three other times this past week. Setbacks that is, from significant improvements that came from taking high CBD hemp oil. I was enjoying some sweet moments of near-normalcy! At least the overall episodes are shorter. I guess there is something else going on that is preventing the treatment from holding . . . .

Is it diet? How can it be when consuming a strict Candida, mold-free, and low oxalate diet? Could it be methylation or residual biotoxin illness issues? Perhaps and I’ll be pursuing these at a new clinic next week. Is neuro-Lyme the culprit after all and I need to get back into antibiotic therapy? The Rife machine made me worse. I’m not so sure about Lyme disease anymore as my genetic markers are more significant for mold illness than Lyme disease. Still: who knows?

In the 1966 novel Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes portrays a mentally disabled man who gains intelligence after being selected for an experimental brain surgery. The surgery was shown to be successful in a laboratory rat whose intelligence increases 3x after the procedure. Charlie, the main character, undergoes the procedure himself as the story follows him from his menial janitorial position to falling in love with one of the teachers at the school in which he works. Charlie quits his job about the time that the rat begins to decline. The improvements did not last. Charlie buries his little friend in a cheese box in the backyard near the close of the story.

I worked on the set of the stage play of Flowers for Algernon at my high school. The sorrow of the scene pictured above when played out even by a wiry teenager was very emotional for all of us backstage. I will never forget it. For me it represented finding hope then moving forward in life with new skills and possibilities. My life was already very painful at age 15. The story touched my heart as we brought it to life for our peers and parents. My tears had no where to go as I stood in the dark backstage, waiting to bring out props for the next scene. When I got home the lockdown continued in the chaotic and unsafe environment of my childhood. My sorrow was locked away for many years. After much healing and decades of living, the Lord brought back this particular story to mind recently with the frustration of the illness that I am enduring: I came upon a reason to have hope from seizures only to have that hope dashed against the wall. Again. It feels like death.

Sadness fills my eyes. Of course I want to be well. Every time I grasp for air, stabilize my neck for fear of my head breaking off, emit some guttural utterance from the forceful involuntary movements of every appendage in rotation or unison from a seizure attack I become very aware that I could die from them. I stare blankly into space or hold my eyes closed to keep the room from moving. Keeping my eyes open brings dizziness and nausea; keeping my eyes closed brings increased fear and a lost sense of time. While still awake I sometimes can talk. The words are strained and speaking (like trying to move) runs the risk of exacerbating the attacks further. If the episode goes on too long then neurological collapse follows. I either have to lie motionless until function returns or my beloved Steve transfers me out of bed and carries me to the bathroom or bed. This more severe level of seizure occurs late at night when he needs to be getting ready for bed to be able to work the next morning. It’s my private hell. It’s his private hell. It’s the private hell on earth that is our burden to endure at this time. (See my non-epileptic seizure video for more information.)

To see a loved one losing the battle over illness, over injury is one of life’s greatest sorrows. Even for a Christian, experiencing it yourself will challenge everything you know about grace, endurance, meaning, and more. Flowers for Algernon is a fictional tale about a rat and a man who found answers but those answers did not last. The story touches a cord deep within me. Oh to taste the goodness of life and have it taken away! I have searched for goodness for a long time. One of the great opportunities of this life is to seize the sweetness that abounds, hold it lightly as it shines for a time, then let it go gracefully when we must either move on or the script of our lives writes it off the page. It must be the Lord’s plan but why? Such answers often never come. Moving on can be the reward for grieving well. Then there’s the fruit of living with loss that is ongoing: when the disappointment never really goes away. This is when you really know who you are. This is when you really know Whose you are. Paradoxically speaking, it can be the time when you are truly ALIVE.

I am a child of the King held in the shadow of His wings, His loving arms just like I quoted yesterday in Psalm 139. This night I bring forth an invitation for my Lord to:

²³Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. ²⁴See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

My Lord sees me! Even so, this illness is one of my greatest mysteries from all of the events that have transpired in my life. In the past my Lord has graced me with seeing some good come from the evil, some divine plans that have emerged from the chaos through which the deepest desires of my heart have come true. I will hold onto His words that:

¹⁷How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

At every turn, with each moment of sorrow I no longer ask:

⁷Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

Indeed you have led me through it all. I can trust from Psalm 142 that:

³When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who watch over my way.

And as it reads in Psalm 100 we will all:

³Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

We will:

⁴Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. ⁵For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Rest will come for you, Gentle Reader and me too as we read in Psalm 121 that:

⁵The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; ⁶the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

⁷The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; ⁸the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

With that I bid you good night. I’ll be fine. Join me in trusting the Lord that you will be too, eh?

Who He Is

Published on March 15, 2014March 15, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

We all have some level of common sense: that which we can agree is reasonable in any given situation. Then again I have found that common sense just isn’t that common anymore!

I listen with intrigue when hearing the real-life experiences of others who have been successful at something. Gaining triumph over tragedy. Seeking good after playing with evil a bit too much. Finding wisdom over folly. Finishing a difficult task. Inspiring others with your amazing story. All this is good and unites us in our humanity when we can relate to the experiences of others. I have heard from those who have travelled extensively overseas that most people around the world want the same things for their families and from their relationships with others no matter our cultural differences might be. Thus we can all celebrate when the “human spirit” triumphs: the good guy wins, the lonely widow finds love, and the person who passes on from this life having left a legacy for others to follow.

But what if there is more? What if there is a source to that common sense that is in-bred between the strands of our DNA? What if the innate knowledge of good and evil transcends the do’s and don’ts our elders taught us growing up? And what if we all could persevere beyond both the winning and the losing? After all, we all lose our lives in the end and cannot take any relationship, thing, achievement, or fit body with us. We probably should keep trying to get it right anyways! And that is very hard to do on our own.

When we find the true meaning of life, how the heck we got here, our giftedness, the Master plan for our lives, and humbly receive with gratitude our lot in life then we can be truly alive. How do we find these? We find our answers when we invite the Lord Jesus Christ into our hearts. We learn about Jesus (who is one with the Father and the Holy Spirit) by reading the Bible, in prayer and meditation, in fellowship with others in the body of Christ. The person of Jesus Christ created us in His own image; he draws us near to love and follow Him. In doing so we grow in wisdom and all of the fruits of the spirit: peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. (Galatians 5:22-23) Our purpose, our reason for being here can become clearer. We then grow in understanding as we mature as believers, gaining wisdom from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, our Counselor.

In the words of the Apostle Paul to you Gentle Reader,

¹⁸I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength ²⁰he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²²And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. (Ephesians 1)

He is the One who will receive us in all of His glory at our finish line when our days are done. How well will we finish the race of our lives? (Check out Hebrews 12:1-3.) I’m trying remain humble on that one for sure. Maybe you already have a personal relationship with God through His son, Jesus Christ. I am delighted to meet you here as we will surely have great fellowship in heaven someday!

As Easter approaches this is a great time to revisit who God really is to each one of us. We can all use this season commemorating His tremendous love for us as an opportunity to draw closer to the Lord. Realizing this tonight was brought forth in meeting a few gals who have endured then overcame much heartache in their lives. Me too. Thank you Lord for leading me to your throne of grace. Sure would be great if finding who You really are was even more common as common sense is too.

Finding Love Again

Published on March 13, 2014March 14, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

It’s as if I always knew that something was missing . . .

My first wedding day was lovely: filled with pretty flowers, pearly alencon lace, and all the details that were meaningful at the time. I was a new believer in Jesus Christ and in love with a young man named Craig. We settled in the west suburbs of Chicago, worked in healthcare, and got busy with the tasks of fixing up our townhome. In time Craig would lead us to a smaller Bible church from the seeker-friendly mega church that helped lead me to faith in Christ. In time I joined him at that little church. I also learned that Christians really do know how to have fun, meaningful lives rich in the knowledge and living out of the Word of God.

Then when Craig had to leave and decided never to return, my life turned upside down for about 4 years. My last surviving grandmother, my youngest brother, and my mother all passed away out of state from where I was living. I moved five times and my personal items were either donated to charity or stored in seven different places. I had to change jobs three times and endured two work-related injuries. The condo fire followed, displacing me for three months in a bare rental unit provided by my insurance company. It was there, staring at the blank walls devoid of all of my earthly possessions and reminders of who I was that I discovered what else was missing: my Heavenly Husband.

Isaiah 54:5 (NIV)

⁵For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.

The Bible is full of analogies comparing our relationship with the Lord as a marital relationship. Jesus is the Bridegroom and the church is His bride. Our Heavenly Father is the husband and we are His beloved. The imagery of an intimate relationship is too much for us to grasp fully yet challenged me to make Christ real in my life on a daily basis. So I went for it fully: when I got in my car and was in a down mood I invited Jesus to ride with me, take the wheel, and be my constant companion. Before long I realized that I had placed Craig in a place in my heart not made for him. Some of the disappointment I experienced in our marriage came from not understanding the VERY LARGE place in my heart reserved only for the Lord. In time, that place grew larger, infilling the emptiness in my heart, filling me completely.

When I met my intended beloved, of course I still had a few kinks to work out in the man-woman relationship department. One shift was clear however: my need for wholeness was to be met by my Heavenly Husband not my earthly one. Placing too much responsibility on my new husband to meet all of my needs, love me, provide for me, and guide me wasn’t fair to him or me. The One who will always be there perfectly on-time with all the right stuff will only and always be my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful that Steve is a mighty good second I must admit! Pastor Bill Hybels at Willow Creek Community Church said it best one Sunday service: trust God. Love people. Trust God to meet all of your needs. Love people including your spouse as imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ . . . just like me. All of us have much to give and will fail at some point as well. Only God is perfect. The Lord is to be our first love.

With a perfect God, and a personal relationship through His son, Jesus Christ, we are free to live more lightly each day with the ones we love. We can extend grace, grant forgiveness a little more easily. We can love others and grow closer in fellowship despite all of our foibles. And if you’re like me, you will find love again in all the right places.

Psalm 84

¹How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty! ²My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. ³Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, Lord Almighty, my King and my God. ⁴Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

⁵Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. ⁶As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. ⁷They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

⁸Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty; listen to me, God of Jacob. ⁹Look on our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one.

¹⁰Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. ¹¹For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

¹²Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.