patience – Page 4 – Jesus is for the Wounded

Here I sit

Published on February 22, 2015February 22, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded4 Comments

Here I sit

Broken hearted

Trying to s__

But only farted!

And so goes the rhyme of 9 year-old boys and their older sisters! It’s a little funny and a little sad for me right now. It’s like our waiting for answers in the next step of my treatment process that is wearing heavily on my beloved, Steve, and me. The stress is crushing. We cannot do much but endure the next few days until the next consultation. I am having to puree foods to keep the chewing motion of my jaw from triggering convulsions. And still they happen on their own regardless. This keyboard is my closest friend tonight. Thank you for being here. You are:

2 Good

+ 2 Be

_________

4 Gotten!

Love to all, JJ

A dose of gratitude

Published on January 25, 2015 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Today turned into a better day and I am grateful. Steve and I got the 3 projects completed that had eluded me for the last 10 days. Thank you Lord!

Weekend Do-Over

Published on January 19, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Let's just say it did not go so well . . . — Let’s just say it did not go so well . . .

Don’t confuse happiness with joy

Published on November 9, 2014November 10, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

In the words of Billy Graham:

Some people think Christians should always be smiling and happy, and something is wrong if they aren’t.

But this isn’t necessarily true. Jesus stood outside the tomb of his friend Lazarus, and we read that, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). As he approached Jerusalem “he saw the city and wept” (Luke 19:41) because of it’s spiritual blindness and guilt. He knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane and was, “. . . in agony [and] his sweat became like great drops of blood” (Luke 22:44)

Don’t confuse happiness with joy. Happiness comes with happy circumstances; joy wells up deep inside our souls as we learn to trust Christ. Joy does not mean that we are never sad or that we never cry. But joy is a quiet confidence, a state of inner peace that comes from God.

Life’s troubles will rob us of our happiness, but they can never rob us of the joy God gives us, as we turn in faith to Him and seek His face.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

From “What is joy?” in Hope for each day, (2002). Thomas Nelson, Inc. p. 338.

I get this and hope you do too, Gentle Reader. Few things can rob your happiness like waking up in the middle of the night 8-10 times with convulsive episodes and a massive headache. It probably wasn’t nice for my beloved husband Steve either, awakened from a sound sleep lying next to me. The aftermath for me felt like I banged my head in every direction against a wall. Not fun at all! Gratefully the dream I later woke up in the middle of (after more seizure attacks falling asleep) was a reasonable one. I mean that we had experienced something similar just under 2 years ago so it wasn’t that bad really.

I dreamed that Steve and I had moved temporarily into an apartment while some work was being done on our home only to have all of our belongings and the inside of the apartment become covered cascades of dust! Yeah, that was not good for someone multiply chemically sensitive like me knowing that mold is often lurking in dust. The situation was beginning to resolve when I woke up. Phew! It was just a dream! This time the headache was less and the convulsions were replaced with less violent seizure attacks. They actually helped clear my head some . . . and yet I still felt beat up. The next few hours were meaningless . . .

Regardless, I have joy! How is this possible you may ask? Well, it’s just like the quote from Billy Graham noted above. I have learned to trust Christ in all things, wretched or not. Of course I cry in sorrow when a new treatment intended to help me makes things worse for awhile. Call it a healing crisis, herxheimer reaction, or the like. It’s a bite in the shorts any way you slice it! But that doesn’t change anything between my Savior and me. He meets me on my bed of sickness and weeps for my suffering. This is not His intention for me yet at the same time my suffering will not be wasted because He has a plan for my life. Maybe one part is this: I am hoping that my suffering provided an illustration here of HOPE IN ACTION. I pray that it will encourage someone out there who is suffering too. HE CARES FOR YOUR SUFFERING TOO and will see you through it!

One day all of our strife and worry will be over as He makes our joy complete when He comes again in glory: with unimaginable happiness too! This promise holds true for those who love the Lord and call Him Savior. If you are suffering, please do not let that stop you from seeking the best hope you have in your pain: the person of Jesus Christ. His love covers ALL. In Him, you will find a joy that will transcend it all. Gentle Reader, please do not confuse happiness with joy. JJ

This could start simply or really complicated

Published on November 3, 2014November 3, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded4 Comments

The short story:

The next step in my treatment of ongoing illness will be a “pre-tox” protocol before actual mercury chelation. Methylmercury is chelated through the liver and gut; inorganic mercury is chelated through the kidneys. Since I am hypersensitive to every approach attempted thus far, my doctor recommends beginning treatment with remedies to open up these elimination pathways before beginning chelation. I’ll probably start with one of the five products recommended by Quicksilver Scientific: the company that invented mercury speciation testing and this more targeted method of detoxification.

The long story:

After my doctor’s office losing my test results, my pleading with the company to email them directly to me, hand delivering the report to my doctor’s office in the middle of their move from one building to another, cancelling an appointment in favor of a personal phone call on Saturday, and fretting until getting that call with the results on Sunday night, a plan is now in place for me! We will need to progress slowly since EVERY TREATMENT I have attempted thus far has resulted in increased seizure attacks and convulsions. It makes sense to attempt to open up the chelation pathways first for these two types of mercury since I rank very high in both forms. It also makes sense for me to complete some additional testing of systemic metals to clarify the clinical picture and avoid further toxicity as we proceed.

So I began to research the initial products needed for this “pre-tox” protocol and lo and behold I take issue with four of them! Three are homeopathic remedies from a very New Age German company that directly conflicts with my Christian world view. I decided over twenty years ago not to use homeopathic remedies: why do we need alchemy and weirdness for substances God created in this world for our health and well being? I have never felt good on any of these products! I need to pray about this for sure. And the fifth substance in the pre-tox program is made with an ionic solution of marine plankton. Does anyone recall that I got deathly ill with viral hepatitis at the beginning of this hell from cyanobacteria aka blue green algae? Let’s hope that they are not the same thing? Maybe one is a fish and the other is a plant? I am frightfully aware of the negative consequences of any biotoxin in my weakened frame . . .

The one product NOT in question is IMD 30x. While a homeopathic-like preparation, the main ingredient is a proprietary thiol-functionalized silica. No problemmo. I can even pronounce the ingredients! Too bad the company states that it’s best taken with the green water stuff! Sigh. You know I’m just a little weary after 3 years, tens of thousands of dollars, prayers, submission, and getting up to struggle through another day until zapped into a painful place . . .

The end of this story for now:

I will pray about this. I will consult with my husband. I will talk to our compounding pharmacist about this (who gratefully is a God-fearing man). I will call the manufacturer of the Quinton Isotonic Marine Plasma about the purity of its product and review their extensive website further. Maybe I’ll be o.k. with two of the five products after all? Then I’ll add another specific nutritional supplement before I begin the actual chelation process in about 3 months. With ongoing experimentation of zeolite and activated charcoal plus ending all consumption of fish, I should be well on my way to a better place early next year. Lord willing, that is! JJ