mercury toxicity – Page 2 – Jesus is for the Wounded

He really cares: Part 1

Published on July 31, 2015July 31, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

The initial blog title rattling around in my brain for the last 24+ hours was, “You are THE ONE who really cares.” After all, when each of us is alone in the midst of a trial (particularly when it is medical), it is only you that bears the greatest burden of the suffering. Others offer comfort, prayer, helps of various levels, and if you are lucky will actually stick around for more than a few moments. But it is you, one and only, who must bear the pain . . . And that can be frightening to say the least!

Rather than rant about what to do with fear, give platitudes and verses with which to train your mind, and otherwise avoid ministering to the weeping heart, I will simply offer this:

Just lay your head on the lap of Jesus.

More than anyone, Jesus Christ knows what it is like to be killed, pained, abandoned, betrayed, falsely accused. He is the only one Who can be with you as the Holy Spirit, in your time of sorrow from its beginning until its end. He will never leave us or forsake us and always be there if we but call upon His name. He is worthy of our

praise

tears

anger

weakness

alms

thanksgiving. I was reminded of all of this just yesterday!

About 3:30 p.m. in the afternoon I was abandoned in a treatment room of my doctor’s office. The nurse practitioner (NP) had left the room after writing an order for me to get IV fluids and after “catching” me collapse during a short convulsive episode during the appointment. After all, that’s why I was there: to document the crisis, get the orders, and head over to the hospital for treatment thereafter. I was sitting there kind of dazed. Soon after she left the room (and after another nurse came into the room to revise the scheduling of some other appointments), I began to list to one side. There was a chair next to me with my purse and water bottle resting on it. The weakness increased and a few inches at a time, I began falling to my right side, coming closer to the purse on the chair. I could not speak. I could not brace myself. I could not do anything but be glad there was a chair next to the one upon which I was sitting so as to break my fall.

The next 20-30 minutes were very ugly. My body collapsed fully onto the chair next to me. My face smashed into the zipper of the purse while my glasses and cover-style sunglasses pressed into my face. I looked straight ahead with my head rotated completely to my left, straining my neck most uncomfortably. The front of my right ear was crushed underneath me on the purse whilst the back was free-falling unsupported; the back of my head pressed into the vinyl backrest of the metal chair. Not exactly pillow material! My right hip was twisted and pushed into the thinly padded, vinyl seat of the chair upon which I was sitting. The ringing in my ears had already increased with the headache that had been working its way into action over the past hour. Legs cramping, toe tips burning as much as my finger tips, and feet struggling to keep contact with the floor to stabilize my position . . . herein I would remain for the next 90 minutes.

I thought about many things. First, I prayed. I prayed again and again and talked to God about many things. Will they be coming soon? Do I hear them coming? Was I expected to go out to the nurse’s desk after the NP left the room or was she coming back with more instructions? I really could not remember since I was already in the brain fog of recovering from the earlier episode that she had witnessed before she left the room. Surely the staff would notice that I had not left the room yet? Or maybe not. I waited in that same treatment room (#4) TWO HOURS the last time I saw the NP before I stepped out to mention that I was in there waiting. “I didn’t know you were in there waiting for me,” she explained with her soft, sweet voice that I would learn never changes even in the midst of an emergency . . .

Time passed. It was hard to ignore the searing pain of the two pairs of glasses being pressed with my full upper body weight into the side of my nose. I could not move to get more comfortable. I still couldn’t speak. I tested this out and nothing happened. In a while when I tested it again, my arm would start shaking; if I tried my leg, my leg would start shaking. This is what I call, “neurological collapse” at it’s finest. I learned on in a Catamenial Epilepsy Facebook page that in true epilepsy (which I do not have) has a name for this phenomenon called, “Todd’s paralysis.” It can go on for up to 48 hours and mimic the signs/symptoms of a stroke. Todd’s paresis usually resolves on its own without any residual effects. I have experienced this complication at least once per week for the last 3 years. Gratefully, most of the time the residual effects for me resolve within 2 hours, at home, in the evening, and within reach of my beloved husband!

There is nothing I can do to quicken the process of recovery from an episode. It takes what it takes. Knowing this I tried to calm myself down and focus on my breathing despite my twisted posture. My rib cage was constricted so I did what I could to at least slow down each inhale, each exhale. I did what I could to keep my neck and shoulder muscles tensed a bit so as not to twist my upper torso any more extremely than it already was. I tried to relax the crushed tissues on my face so the pain would subside. This worked poorly. Suddenly the voices beyond the closed door seemed louder. Then I heard the doctor’s voice. This would be the time to try and vocalize something for help. My voice was weak. help. Help. I tried many times. Probably no one in the same room with me would have heard those first cries.

I redoubled my efforts. I took a deeper breath and vocalized a little louder, “Help!” Then I rested and made more attempts, “HELP!” Surely the door cannot be that thick! I can see a crack at the bottom between the wood of the door and the low pile carpeting. “HEEEEEEELP!!!” I cried again. My nose was running from the first time I had started to cry, dripping onto my purse. Fortunately it is made of an outdoorsy, washable fabric. Your mind thinks of all kinds of things when you are trapped.

To be continued in Part 2

Get this book!

Published on May 11, 2015May 11, 2015 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Gentle Readers:

If you are dealing with chronic or unexplained illness, I encourage you to get this new book by Suzanne Sommers:

Tox-Sick

Mrs. Sommers uses her interviewing style to cover topics that are usually more difficult to understand when it comes to the complexities of serious illness. She includes a broad range of diseases, treatments, and types of practitioners, only occasionally mentioning her other best-selling books! I especially appreciate the index for locating topics of interest.

This book might have shortened my learning curve if it had been available 3 years ago. May it shorten yours!

Take care, JJ

Missing you terribly

Published on April 14, 2015April 15, 2015 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

There’s a Barbara Streisand song with lyrics that go something like this:

If we had the chance to do it all over again, tell me would we . . .

Could we . . .

The way we were.

It’s not that I would like to go back to my former self or anything like that. I have had chronic pain for most of my life and lived with pain inside my heart for longer than that. Many of my own mistakes were downright damaging. Still other experiences damaged me and it would take until very recently to be free of their dark spiritual underpinnings. The freedom I experience in today from the drama of yesterday’s trauma was worth the good and bad spent getting here. But there is one part I am not sure what to do with . . .

I was never really physically fit and virtually always held a critical eye toward my physique even when at my ideal body weight. All that did not seem to matter to the stream of the male persuasion that came my way, ever since I was twenty years old. (Not sure what they were waiting for before that!) I always rode my bike as a kid EVERYWHERE. I did not think of it as exercise at the time, just a means to get me to the home of a friend. Several times in college I tried running around the sidewalks of the sprawling campus. “Library Hill” was a killer! Maybe I should say that I ran on most paths except the 27 or so degree incline of Library Hill! Carrying a full load of books up and downhill to class or to study late into the evening at the library should have earned me an extra degree in something or another!

What I miss most is the innocence of moving without thinking about it. Every day lately brings stark reminders of the convulsions that have returned. Every day brings a new version of shaking that hurts my neck the most and leaves some version of a headache behind. Every day the hope of exercising for the enjoyment of it alludes me only because I cannot; I actually had grown to like high intensity workouts before I got sick 3 1/2 years ago. Even with chronic pain I worked out with weights, unloaded my truck bed filled with sod/dirt/mulch, and kayaked for a couple of hours each week. I loved being strong.

Today I miss being strong. The trauma of seizures and convulsions have taken their toll. The sickness after an episode usually lingers for hours, days. I never really know for sure when the next episode is coming although the bedtime and waking-up patterns have been fairly consistent throughout this ordeal. Somehow despite my weakness, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP for more than a day. Yesterday Steve and I went for a walk with our pup, Elle though most of the time the walking is through the halls of our home or a medical facility . . . or this past Saturday’s date night to the grocery store. It’s something, eh?

O.K. so I am bummed out. I have missed writing and did not blog so as not to bum you out, Gentle Reader, in reporting that the surgery did not stop the episodes as I had hoped. There are tiny improvements and for these I am grateful. I think I’ll need a little longer to recover and clear the anesthesia completely out of my system. In desperation I went on a water fast for 24-hours last week. It was awful! Amazingly I did not have seizures until the 24th hour! I believe the Lord gave me the wisdom through it all to start a ketogenic diet so new research and a new direction began the next day.

A ketogenic diet is a high fat diet where the fat becomes fuel for the body instead of carbohydrates. The version for seizure control (generally used for children) is unlike the keto diet for weight loss in that fats are consumed more than protein “macros.” Grams of carbs are the tiniest portion of the three. The increase in ketones are measured in either the urine or blood and thought to be the mechanism that brings some level of seizure control in 25-50 percent of children. In children the diet begins after a 24-48 hour fast in a hospital. Hmmm. My great Physician led me here after my own fasting experience too. So with the MyFitnessPal nutrition app in-hand, I am moving towards the ideal ratios of fats, proteins, and carbohydrates. Good news: that means lots of bacon! And at least I am off the pureed diet now!

The way we were. Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time re-written every line? If we had the chance to do it all over again, tell me, would we? Could we?

Perhaps the real longing requires me to not look back at all. Then what is it Lord? Fill this emptiness, please. Ease this hurting. Thank you for new tracks to run on, so to speak. I still need you desperately to guide me. I realize that I may not be alone in this desire you know. Please comfort the Gentle Readers out there who need you too. JJ

The Extended Forcast is Good!

Published on March 29, 2015September 23, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel. Philippians 1:12

I am 2 days post surgical removal of 2 root-canaled teeth and THE CONVULSIONS ARE GONE!!! Yipppeeee and praise the Lord! This 3 years of daily hell for me and my beloved husband, Steve, is finally over!

While there is still much work to do to detox mercury toxicity and re-evaluate chronic Lyme and mold illnesses, I feel more optimistic that I will be able to tolerate those treatments someday. Until this week, I was failing. I was bedridden most every day with convulsive episodes. The grief and impact was huge on everything from our finances to my aching neck. My husband no longer got a full night of sleep and this illness had changed virtually every activity inside/outside of our home. How would Steve find me when he came home from work? Would he have to make me my pureed dinner and feed me again before bed tonight? Carry me to the toilet? Our hearts were weary after 3 years of this living hell.

Nine months ago I began investigating how two sore molars in the upper left section of my jaw might be impacting my health. Four dentists and three oral surgeons, a cone beam CT, MRI, and pano plus regular x-rays later (including a consultation out of State) we had no objective data to guide us. Everything looked “fine.” The teeth had bothered me for over 13 years! Fifteen years ago I had all my amalgam fillings removed but was never guided to chelate for mercury. Were there silver filings containing mercury remaining underneath the crowns over these two teeth? We will never know the answer to that question. My saliva had started tasting metallic. Eating started triggering the convulsive episodes. With Steve’s support, we took an expensive leap of faith and pursued a dental solution.

Additionally, seven weeks before what would become the big day, I started eating only on the right side of my mouth. Two and one-half weeks later I started a pureed diet to eliminate the chewing action that seemed to make things worse; all this was quite a feat since my struggle to get well led me to eat low oxalate, virtually dairy-free, and completely sugar/sweetener-free, gluten-free, and mold -free foods too! Another two weeks later and 1 week before the surgery I noticed that using plastic utensils delayed the onset of convulsions after eating. Even drinking my foods through a straw helped initially then ultimately triggered episodes. I feared eating anything at all! The only problem with that was hunger and thirst could also trigger convulsions or make them worse. I felt trapped!

Three and one-half days before the dental surgery my doctor recommended trying an EMF deflecting device. “It might help” he said, like so many other recommendations I had received all over the spectrum of traditional and alternative medical care. After one such technology (a Rife machine called a Beam Ray) I tried 3 years ago to treat “Chronic Lyme,” the daily tic attacks started. Within a year these episodes would escalate to waking seizure attacks then convulsive episodes lasting 2 to 5 hours per day. We had tried to shield me from wireless technology in our home in the past yet the results were initially helpful then inconsistent. This time the GEOMACK from Spain reduced the intensity of the convulsions 50%. That reduction gave me a tiny boost of strength that I needed to physically and mentally prepare for surgery. My husband got some much needed sleep as well! Could their be an electrical cause after all? (See this blog for more anatomy and discussion.)

The morning of the surgery went as usual. Convulsive episodes began shortly after opening my eyes and periodically as we prepared to leave the house. Seizure zips ripped through my hungry and thirsty frame as my beloved drove us to the hospital. We were still reeling from the large check we had to carry with us since the oral surgeon insisted on performing the extractions near a crash cart, I guess. And after some prayers, many silly jokes and one last shake/rattle/and roll with placement of the IV in my arm, the time had come to let go and not look back. We reviewed my situation with the anesthesiologist and oral surgeon, surgical tech, and several nurses. They were not to abort the mission if I seized under anesthesia! Just wait a moment and get the job done.

I’d like to say that I woke up in a calm, blissful state but that simply was not the case. I became nauseous and pain management was a problem over the next day and one-half. Oh well. One thing was certain: THERE WERE NO SEIZURES OR CONVULSIONS! The “battery effect” of dissimilar metals in 2 adjacent crowns over root-canaled teeth WERE FRICKIN’ GONE! No more tazoring of my brain would continue. And hey, if there was hidden infection in the root-canaled teeth then the problems caused therein are now also “history.” The hell is over.

My job now includes retraining my brain to relax when falling asleep instead of bracing for impact. My job now includes remembering all of the relaxation techniques I used to train my patients in psychiatric hospitals to deal with anxiety. I need to rework those memory pathways and feelings of impending doom that followed me, waited for me every night, every morning, every time when I was exposed to noxious stimuli, or even on the clothing or breath of my beloved anytime, anywhere. Hey, no problemmo. I am ready to live and the extended forecast is good!

Thank you and big hugs to those of you who have followed my story for any length of time, You have been an important part of my lifeblood to go on when I could not. Sometimes my husband could not be home with me and I was alone, feeling terrified mostly of even greater suffering and it came. The worst episodes were never captured on YouTube videos because my warrior husband was needed to hold me tightly to keep me from greater harm instead of holding onto a camera. Sometimes the Lord was silent even when I cried out to Him when breathless, facing death again and again when my breathing stopped. When He did speak I gained the courage I needed to face the next trial. In the end, death was not my greatest fear. Dying without my Heavenly Husband was.

But you know what? I made it through. Steve made it through. A new chapter in our lives is about to begin. I’m going to take some time now and regroup. I am very weak. An infusion of my Jesus is needed. The warmest embrace with my beloved must follow. And really good food cannot be far behind. After tomorrow the putty d’ jour will be history! Yeah God!

Pureed Tri-Color Carrots, Cauliflower, Bacon, Ground Round, Potato Chips, Homemade Broth, and Sea Salt — Pureed Organic Tri-Color Carrots & Cauliflower, Bacon, Organic Beef & Potato Chips, Homemade Broth, and Sea Salt in the Recovery Room!

With love, JJ

But the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me. Psalm 18:18b-19

Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

UPDATE: The holiday from convulsive episodes did not last, unfortunately. There were many benefits from having these two infected teeth removed: significantly less mouth pain, less congestion in the upper shoulder and neck, decreased TMJ symptoms, decreased auditory anomalies, reduced ringing in my ears, and more. Then there was a miracle: our insurance company covered most of the $10,000 bill. Amazing! :J

Only my potato chips remain crushed today

Published on March 1, 2015March 1, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded4 Comments

Who knew that finely crushed, Unsalted Kettle Potato Chips would be like a salve to my wounded frame today? In the spirit of my previous foodie post, I must say that finely crushed chips make my creamy beef stew-ish soup puree quite special. Since there are potato chips in my belly, life will go on after all!

Yes, there is other good news after enduring 36-hours of hell, ending about an hour ago: we believe we have identified the trifecta-root cause of much of my illness. However, unlike a horserace where a bet on a trifecta identifies win, place, or show, we are not sure of the order of these little fillies:

Two infected teeth with root canals
Inflammation secondary to the infection and
Dental galvanism from dissimilar metals in the crowns of the root-canaled teeth.

Now we recognize that while we certainly won’t know the exact cause until the teeth are extracted and I have treated the infection, if needed. I am on a waiting list for a local surgeon after a trip to see a qualified biologic dentist out-of-state resulted in being passed on to someone else equally far from home. My husband has led us to the decision to find someone else locally; I am on a waiting list to have my appointment moved up from April 2nd with the best local oral surgeon. Those Gentle Readers who have followed me for awhile know that I have thought before that we found the “root cause” of everything. The “it” still could be complicated by underlying Lyme disease, mold neurotoxins and the definite mercury toxicity fueling it all. Yet one thing is now clear: these teeth still have to come out!

Here’s a brief summary of these three new factors in my own words:

1. When a person has a root canal procedure, a dead tooth is left behind. The primary root canals consisting of nerve tissue and blood are scraped out and a rubber-like substance called gutta percha is stuffed into the remaining cavity. While the opening is treated with an antiseptic, no one can ever know for sure if any secondary root canals were left un-cleaned and untreated. Any remaining nerve and blood tissues dies and can provide food for aerobic and anaerobic bacteria.

Between the root canal channel and the outer enamel of the tooth is the dentin, consisting of 3 miles of dentil tubules. These are too numerous to be completely sterilized before placement of the gutta percha. Thus there is a possibility of infection seeping into the dentil tubules. When a tooth is healthy, all of the dental tissues are washed with blood but this is no longer possible with the severing of the blood vessels during the root canal procedure. However, if the infection grows, the bacteria can eventually seep from it’s hidden little factory in the tubules into the jaw bone and surrounding blood supply thus potentially affecting the mouth and rest of the body. It is well-recognized that these bacteria can be exceedingly dangerous.

Lastly, during a root canal procedure the periodontal ligament is often left in place around the dead tooth, adding further risk for infection and necrosis from this dead tissue lying next to the gums or jaw bone. Only in the dental industry is a once-living, now-dead tissue and a dead structure (the tooth) allowed to stay in the body; otherwise this tissue would be surgically removed as in the examples of damaged frostbitten fingers, gangrenous toes, severely burned skin, etc!

2. As spoken by the nurse in my doctor’s office this past week, reddened tissue means inflammation and often indicates the presence of infection. Pain in the upper left portion of my jaw has lasted over 13 years, increasing lately to the point of requiring periodic Ibuprofen and topical treatments such as (diluted) clove oil. I now chew food only on the right side of my mouth, avoid hot and cold temperatures, and consume soft/pureed foods so as to minimize the chewing and pressure on my teeth that trigger convulsive episodes. Geez!

3. Though considered controversial by traditional dentists, it is easy to find hundreds of mainstream and holistic dentistry sites that have described the dental galvanism (aka “battery effect”) that can occur from the use of dissimilar metals in amalgam fillings, crowns, and dental appliances. I had my amalgam fillings (generally consisting 50% of mercury) removed many years ago yet there remains a question if there is any remaining underneath one of my crowns. The bigger issue is that three of the four crowns in my mouth consist of a combination of metals. To establish if the presence of metals (in the presence of saliva) creates any currents between my teeth, yesterday my husband and I touched the probes of a voltmeter to the surface of the two teeth in question. The voltage was TWICE that of my skin on my arm! Steve questioned if this small amount of voltage would be of any clinical significance? Note that microcurrent (significantly less than the voltage we measured on my teeth) is used in rehabilitation for the treatment of pain. This means that the body must be affected by tiny currents. Too bad the current in my teeth is not mitigating pain! Conversely, I wonder if this battery-effect is over stimulating a part of my brain, triggering the convulsions instead?

Now to flesh out number 3 a little more, I refreshed myself on a little neuroanatomy. The upper branch of the trigeminal nerve innervates the upper and lower jaw of the mouth. The trigeminal nerve originates from a part of the brainstem called the “Pons” which sits on top of the spinal cord inside the back of the skull; three branches extend on each side of your head and across the face with the mandibular branch dividing over the top and bottom of the jaw. During dental procedures, this is the nerve into which a dentist injects a numbing agent such as Novocain. The motor division of the entire trigeminal nerve derives from the basal plate of the embryonic pons, and the sensory division originates in the cranial neural crest.

Fifth Cranial Nerve Distribution: Trigeminal Nerve (from Wikipedia 2.27.15)

To hypothesize what electrical stimulation from 1) this battery-effect flowing 2) BACK TO the brain in the first two of these three areas could mean for a person, I took some liberties and looked up the symptoms of the person who has a stroke affecting these three areas. (The cranial neural crest has more significance in embryonic development and stem cell research than the discussion here so I left it out.) My findings are fascinating. Please note that the exact symptoms will depend on which biological “electrical circuits” and junctions are affected since the structures are so small and interrelated; we cannot know for certain which structures will be affected. Regardless, I have listed a few symptoms that I do experience from each of these respective areas during my own seizure attack or convulsive episodes.

Damage to Basal Plate Symptoms: Loss of movement, such as stiff, rigid or weak muscles; tremors or body shakes; aphasia (difficulty speaking); changes in eye movements; or changes in motivation or personality.
Damage to Embryonic Pons Symptoms: Weakness of upper and lower extremity (arm and leg on same side as damage); dysregulation from inhalation to exhalation (difficulty breathing); sleep paralysis (inability to move when falling asleep or after waking up and altered dreams); difficulties with balance (ataxia); dizziness due to vertigo; or clumsiness of a hand or arm. A person with a severe stroke may need help with self-care or feeding as a result.

Wow. These all have happened in some combination with each “tazoring” as I call it. Thankfully there are higher parts of my brain in the cerebral cortex that appear unaffected and thankfully the symptoms are not permanent so far! I would not be able to write this blog if the damage was permanent. But I know I cannot overthink all of this. After the onset of acute upper back pain two days ago, I feared what the range of random electrical charges on my weakened frame could do to my heart. Or was it a heart attack? Well, no. I had gone too far. Pain comes from thrashing around and will be dealt with when I return to physical therapy and chiropractic care sometime after dental surgery.

Wasn’t this interesting? There is much hope in putting all of this together. Please join me in praying for the Lord’s will in all of this. And if it is the Lord’s will, I would love to have these two crazy teeth outta here ASAP! Time for these little ones to go! I prefer to be toothless in Indiana with crushed potato chips on my soup of the day instead of this saga continuing. Even if my hypothesis was wrong, I am grateful for the mental stimulation, the challenge of the hunt. I trust that the Lord will use all of this for His glory. Maybe this insight will help someone, somewhere, someday?

And you know and Lord willing, this year I AM GOING TO GET WELL!!! Yeah baby. Take care Gentle Readers. JJ