Tag: Lyme disease

From one mystery to another

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Just when you think you’ve finally gotten on the road to something good the path can be blasted with a tempest beast of a hurricane, sending you smashing to the ground without a life preserver or anchor!  But do not despair.  The Lord Jesus Christ is still on the throne precious one.

Isaiah 55:8 New King James Version (NKJV)

8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

The close of our evening in the wee hours of the morning was exceedingly traumatic, puzzling, and desperate.  This sure is a mystery given that I have had some better blocks of a few hours at-a-time now that I am 3 months into IV treatments with antibiotics for chronic Lyme disease.  Even an iodine protocol and infrared sauna treatments appear to be promising adjuncts to my treatment plan.  Ahhhh, so much progress has been made these past 4 1/2 years yet still there are plenty of wacky lab findings:  we’re talking dangerously low amounts of key nutrients,  hormones, and healthy gut bacteria.  Yet I have less pain some days, improved clarity of thought, and an ability to do some housework or gardening about once per week.  The days largely spent bedbound have diminished from 4 to 1!  And my score on a chronic Lyme symptom scale has gone down from 73 to 46.  These are good!

James 1:2-4New King James Version (NKJV)

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Some call setbacks that occur over a course of treatment “herxheimer” reactions.  I call them a “healing crisis.”  That is, until the particular breed of hell is so traumatic that extra healing is needed from the crisis itself on top of the serious illness.  I’m talking about seizure attacks marked with screaming at the top of my lungs.  Let’s add writhing movements lifting me off the bed as if embodied by a demon and intense, hysterical episodes of wailing with gushes of tears.  What the heck is going on here?  Flashes of terrifying scenes fill my “mind’s eye” alternating with the blackest darkness you can imagine.  I press into the abyss with cries out to my beloved “Jesus” when I can, when I my mind allows me to do so.  He is my only hope.  Prayer mixes with shock.  Breathing, prevention of injury, and concern for my hubby nearby fill any cracks in my thought processes when they return.  Steve and I both leave the scene broken when the hell finally stops (tonight after over an hour had punched its way by us).

This all means that chronic/neuro Lyme disease is in my central nervous system and brain.  This probably means that the treatments are now changing my neurochemistry and affecting the structures of my mind.  This definitely confirms my worst fear that the path out of this hell to healing will be worse than the journey that got me here.  So wretchedly sad.  I guess I’ll just pray that the Lord strengthens me and Steve to get through it, pleading for mercy as we did tonight.  Somewhere out there will be a message to inspire others yet again tonight that is not the case.  This is a murderous mystery, killing every sense of sanity and magnifying many senses of suffering.  I am o.k. in this moment, thankfully.  It’s amazing what I can do sometimes on 2 hours of sleep just before the sunrise.

Psalm 119:147-149New King James Version (NKJV)

147 I rise before the dawning of the morning,
And cry for help;
I hope in Your word.
148 My eyes are awake through the night watches,
That I may meditate on Your word.
149 Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness;
O Lord, revive me according to Your justice.

Hang with me, Gentle Reader.  We are not giving up.  We still have faith and still have hope.  You don’t give up either with the challenges in your life too, k?  We are holding out with the hope of blissful eternity for those in Jesus Christ and working our way back to the current day from there.  The suffering, the trauma, the horror just makes for a better ending when telling a magnificent story.  And when in my mind’s eye I also see the tear on the cheek of my Lord as He hung dying on a cross for me and you, I know that somehow, supernaturally, I will be delivered to a better place someday.  How about if we meet there?  So much goodness awaits us.  I’ve really got to tell you about the Summerwine bush that is budding from where I transplanted it to my compost pile, ready for its new home this Spring . . .  Someday it will burst forth into bloom (like me) once again!  JJ

summerwine, horticulture therapy, healing garden, healing, plants, deciduous, bushes, ornamental, flowering, blog, hope

 

Alternative Health Technologies for Sale

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Looking to improve your health with some alternative health technologies?  I am selling an Ionic Foot Bath and a Full Spectrum Bright Light therapy lamp with details noted below.  Just leave a comment and we will figure out things from there.  Prices are US dollars and shipping is provided to the US only!

Ionic Foot Bath

Start your detox with this ionic foot bath! Includes unit, instructions, and a new array. Generic brand used about 12 times. Add your own basin of warm water and 1 t non-iodized salt. $75 USD price includes shipping. Purchase via Pay Pal. Works great but hey, sold as-is, no warranty. Cross posted!

Northern Light Technologies Full Spectrum Lamp

Enjoy the benefits of sunlight at your convenience with this full spectrum light therapy lamp from Northern Light Technologies. 10,000 LUX. New price is $230; asking $95 for Pay Pal purchase plus $20 shipping and special packaging = $105 USD. Unit is in excellent condition. Used about 20 times for less than 30 minutes total over a few years. Note slight paint chip near the on/off switch. Works great but hey, sold as is, no warranty! Will mail to street address. Cross posted. Link to the company provided for comparison: Northern Light Technologies.

 

A matter of perspective

Published on by Jesus is for the Wounded3 Comments

Monday’s perspective:

The level of sunlight raises up then down in the hallway beyond my bed
Like a child playing with a dimmer switch, how I know where these thoughts have led!
How can I get up and face the world one more, yes one more day?
When so much suffering met me here or there, no matter where the level of light has shone along the way?
Still one cannot judge the next moment based upon the past…
You just cannot predict when joy, when peace, when hope will come at last?
Simmer down inner child and let the sovereignty of your Lord speak.
You must remember how He delivered you in the past when you were so weak.


Your fears, your toils were measured by My drops of blood while I hung on that cross
I saw, I see, I weep, and I am always right there when you feel lost.
Hitch your heart to Mine choosing faith that freedom will come in due time
Watch for My answers, My leadings, My deliverance some now, some beyond a simple rhyme.


There is hope. There is more. There is a heaven, I promise as I know you have seen.
Walk towards My light dear one: what’s coming is greater than what has been . . .

Friday’s perspective:

In time the beatings diminish

And you catch your breath to finish

The week that held too much, oh dear

Gave way to Friday and better news to hear.

Things moved forward:  medical tests and even some healing

Living more in the facts by golly with less in the “fearful feelings.”

I might even go out soon:  making plans for the days ahead Lord willing

Better get the pup.  It’s time for a ride to pick up the bacon, the drugs, the groceries:  excuses good enough to put off another day the cleaning!

May the Lord bless your weekend, Gentle Reader.  JJ

I learned it from Charlotte

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She was wearing an oxygen cannula 24/7 and needed to take a break to rest after walking from one end of her house to the other.  Having battled breast cancer years ago, she had come into the late stages of another bout of cancer that would take her life a year later.  She was no longer able to leave her home except for medical appointments and did so with a supremely taxing effort.  Too weak to perform all but the most basic of daily living chores, she still had an amazing ministry that reached across the country . . .

Grief Share, friendship, mentoring, older women, younger woman, grief, loss, grieving, fellowship, Charlotte
From left: Julie, Miriam, Charlotte, Mary, and LuAnn from a Grief Share Ministry in 2007

Charlotte prayed for persons that she had found in an online “care” ministry.  These patients had opened up a personal webpage usually when in the hospital to facilitate communicating updates on their medical status to loved ones.  Charlotte searched the database for individuals that spoke to her heart then enlisted prayer warriors she knew via email and social media to pray for them too.  I was in awe of her outreach!  Exhausted from chemotherapy, radiation, or just taking a breath was no deterrent for a woman with a heart bigger than anyone’s I had known.  “I have the time,” is all she would say about it.  And time was her greatest gift as she spent it in the service of others, lifting them before our heavenly Father’s throne of grace.

So when I have been bedridden over the past few years, I have taken on my own version of Charlotte’s prayer ministry.  I pray for everyone I can think of until I can get out of bed again.  I was often amazed that once I got started, the Lord would bring so many names and faces to mind:  persons I had met online, an individual named through a prayer chain, or maybe someone I saw in public when able to leave our own home to go to medical appointments.  “I had the time,” so humbly to pray would be the best use of it.  It has been amazing to me when these instances occur . . .

Today a bunch of folks came to mind during 2 hours of continuous seizure attacks after injections of antibiotics at my doctor’s office did not go so well.  I lain on a hard treatment table in the dark to shield my eyes from the bright lights, hoping that the hell would not go on as long as it had during treatments earlier in the week.  My neck throbbed from the violent shaking, thrashing, odd posturing, wailing, repetitive pulling forward of my flexed torso, and general torture of it all.  (Unfortunately the facet block injection in my neck 3 weeks ago had already worn off!)  Sure, the nurses checked on me every so often; they had seen these episodes many, many times before and knew the score.  There was an agreement however, that if the convulsions persisted they would call an ambulance to take me to the emergency room of the hospital adjacent to their office building.  I doubted if that would do any good.  Would she be making the call the next time she came in the room?  The next time after that?  The total duration had already exceeded 90 minutes which was well beyond our agreed upon period.  “Is there anything I can do for you?” she would ask in plain English.  Sigh.  Not really.

Then she came back again and I squeaked out to yes, please ask the doctor if he could do a chiropractic adjustment on my neck.  It might help stop the wretchedness as it had in another appointment in the past.  Finally another nurse came back with the good news:  the Doctor would see me!  I began to cry . . .  then praise the Lord . . . then pray some more.  Soon my time thrashing about whilst laying flat on my back and mighty sore gluteus media from 6 injections this past week would be over.  I had so much to do later this evening before a surgical procedure tomorrow.  I had better get my time with the Lord in now not knowing how the rest of the day would fare.

Things got better after more gut-wrenching yelps, yells, screams, bursts of hot tears, yada, yada with the chiropractic adjustments and I was finally able to leave the building under my own power about 20 minutes later.  Whoa!  Shell-shocked I had made my way to the bathroom, put on my coat, and gathered my things to leave as if moving slow-motion in a black and white flick from the 1950’s.  But the evening was just getting started so miraculously the pace revved up a bit from there.

Within the hour I would be tossing all precaution to the wind and digging in the garden with our pup chewing a bone nearby!  Whaaat?  Hey, I figured that I’d get the borders of 2 flower beds tidied up knowing that I would likely be on a lifting restriction after placement of a power port in my chest wall early the next morning.  SO I DUG, DUG, DUG LIKE THERE WAS A TREASURE OF GOLD HIDDEN IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!  Even the darkness and the drizzling rain did not stop me from doing what I love, doing the most that I could possibly do in some sort of a cathartic shedding of my personal hell on the way to and earthly Garden of Eden.  Well, sort of!

Maybe Charlotte would smile at how things turned out for me this evening.  It’s been about 7 years since her passing.  She had an impact on my life for sure.  If she were still around I would give her a call and listen some more to her wisdom that helped transform my life at another tumultuous time.  Well I guess that is happening again dear friend.

Thank you Jesus for Charlotte’s legacy.  Perhaps someday together we will tend to the sumptuous riches in the gardens of our Savior’s wondrous dwellings that You have prepared for us to bask in Your glory one day and forever.

There is so much to look forward to Gentle Reader.  I hope to see you there too.  :JJ

The Missing Needle Nose Pliers

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 flat nose pliers, jewelry making, o ring, jump ring, making jewelry

Husband asks:   Where are my needle nose pliers?

Wife answers after a long pause:  I might have sent them to Minnesota . . .

And then another looooooong pause follows with:  silence!

Sometimes the logic of the moment doesn’t make sense to anyone else but oneself.  Know what I mean?  Hey, I was selling my jewelry business this past Fall and wanted to send along all of the tools that the new owner would need.  I noted that there was a nicer pair of pliers in the tool cabinet so surely hubby-dear would agree that I should make my customer happy to have both pairs needed to successfully open and close jump rings?  Besides, I did ask him about it didn’t I?  He did not remember me asking him.  I did not remember it exactly either.  Well DeeAnn in Minnesota is happily making jewelry and that’s all that counts, right?

Well maybe not.  Within a day I made sure that we picked up for my beloved, a nicer Stanley-branded pair with ergonomic, non-slip grips at Walmart.  Win!  Win?

We employed a similar rationale four years ago when I never really recovered from acute hepatitis.  For more on that story, see the About Julie page here.  It seemed the right thing to do to use an alternative technology to treat Lyme disease when a trial of antibiotics left me wretchedly ill.  Sadly, the Beam Ray Rife machine hurt me, sending me into a tailspin.  There would be no easy solution(s) to this complication.  I developed seizure attack episodes within 3 weeks of running very short programs on the unit which exposed me to various frequencies of light and sound waves.  A dozen or more local folks using their own machines noted benefits.  I did not.  I sold it about 1 1/2 years later with a net loss of $1500 and what has become 4 years of daily convulsive episodes.  This weekend there have been 3 major and several minor wretched episodes within the last 24 hours.  Lord have mercy!

Beam Ray, Rife, sound, light, wavelength, alternative medicine, Ray Rife, Lyme disease
Beam Ray Rife machine

 

As you can read in the link noted above, we have tried many different kinds of valid treatments coached by skilled practitioners.  I have benefitted from taking down mold exposures and illness, mercury toxicity, Candida, parasites, and the extraction of 2 root-canaled teeth.  Even so I feel like a beaten puppy!  But now we know that they very likely are related to Chronic Lyme Disease requiring the use of powerful doses of IV antibiotics for many months.  Seven weeks into the treatment I can tell you that there are some positive changes.  Unfortunately I am having complications from the weekly IV infusions so later this week I will have a port surgically placed in my chest wall.  This becomes a direct-access site without the need for sterile dressings that irritate my skin or superficial phlebitis that has plagued my forearms for about 3 weeks.  (Thank the Lord that I discovered horse chestnut gel when the warm compresses did not help.)  I am also hoping there won’t be any more violent episodes with the treatments. Even intramuscular injections have been exceedingly difficult.  Whew!

So there ya go.  A funny story, an update, and a little hope beyond the saga of late.  Lord willing, I am going to get well!  And when I do I might just get out my own tools here in Indiana, not Minnesota, for digging in the garden.  By the way, Spring weather is forecasted for this week .  Since I won’t be tethered to an IV line I can safely get a little dirt underneath my fingernails if I am up to it before the surgical procedure on Thursday.  The garden pup is ready.  You could say that I’ve traded the needle nosed pliers for an aluminum shovel!  So let’s get to it . . .

I wonder how those carrots are doing that got left in the ground last fall?  Having a little extra time in the soil should make them as sweet as candy by now dontcha know?  :JJ

life began in a garden