Tag: Lord

I just gotta be me!

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That's me in 2007
That’s me in 2007

Ten years ago would find me hosting a team of entrepreneurs at a job fair, working in healthcare four days per week, planning holiday travels, and riding my  bike or taking long walks in my neighborhood.  I lived in the west suburbs of Chicago and spent a lot of time in my car.  Traffic, you know!

Twenty years ago would find me learning to landscape my yard and live the married life, working full time, planning holiday travels, adjusting to a new diagnosis of a pain condition, and feeling glad to have my Master of Science degree completed at last.  Painting and decorating the townhouse would preoccupy the weekends in addition to long drives to a Christian mega church on Sunday morning.

Thirty years ago would find me finishing my fieldwork in occupational therapy at a State hospital in Michigan, beginning to search for my first professional job, and balancing family dynamics as a college graduate under my mom’s roof.  Time with friends and a steady boyfriend dominated my free time.

My how times have changed!  This past year I got sick with a serious illness, met the qualifications to become a Master Gardener, started a jewelry business, hosted a booth in two craft shows, took a hiatus from weekly kayaking in a performance surf ski, and learned the true meaning of love in the eyes of my beloved Steve.  The only things missing are the planning of holiday travels and spending a lot of time in my, er, truck.  No car anymore and no suburban living anymore!  I live in a small town near what they call a “big little town” and I like it.

Work is different too.  I work 2 to 6 hours most nights, in the middle of the night, for my online jewelry business and not in a clinic somewhere.  You could also say that I work to get well from Lyme Disease and its co-infections, requiring about 4 hours per day of various tasks that would bore you to list them right now.  (See the Survival Tips page if you’re interested!)  I’ve always valued “work” and have worked since my first babysitting job as a teenager.  Twice before I’ve started my own business.  The study of occupation has been with me and has helped me re-invent my career many times over the years.  I am grateful for most of it!

If I just gotta be me, then I guess I have landed squarely at a place that reflects who I am and who I have been all of my life.  I do believe my life is softer around the edges as the Lord has allowed many trials and blessings to shape who I am today.  There is so much more to learn, do, see, be.  In this moment, I am grateful for all the Lord has given me, good and bad.  After all, I met you didn’t I?  :J

Take this moment in time

To create something beautiful:

A world where we move closer together

With eyes for our Savior, Immanuel,

Where our stories speak with gentleness for

The paths taken and those we did not,

And the work of our hands makes a difference

In today and beyond . . .

For grace will be our companion

His love, peace, and joy.

Life becomes a journey worth the taking,

Yes!

Would we really want it any other way?

(Julie Lech, July 2006)

Thank You!

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Thank you for being out there for me in cyberland my dear blog friend.  You help me get through some of the subtler parts of recovering from Lyme Disease.  It’s the journaling that makes a difference.  And maybe knowing that some of you are praying for me too.

It’s different than a prayer chain at my church or my husband’s humble update about me at the end of our Wednesday night service.  You read this in the free time of your busy, distracted, already filled lives.  You can hit delete, open a new window, or simply ignore me in a flash if that is your desire.  No one will probably know if you read this or don’t.  I hope I never take that for granted!

By the way, earlier today I did make it through my second craft show.  Praise the Lord!  You would crack up if you saw me walking with my husband through our local discount warehouse store, Sam’s Club, afterwards:  a little crooked, leaning on the cart, then finally letting the cart that my husband was pushing through the parking lot, pull me back to the car!  I was pooped!  Five hours later, the four hour nap was behind me.  I’m doing much better now, thankfully.

So just for you is a special coupon if you are also fans of Trinity Jewelry by Design:  free shipping!  Just use coupon code:  BLOGFRIEND at checkout.  This week I hope to add bracelets and necklaces from Threads of Hope.  Their friendship bracelets and jewelry create work for impoverished families in the Philippines under the ministry of Alex and Chris Kuhlow.  And later next week, the wooden bracelets from women in Nairobi, Kenya and Market Colors will complete our main product lines for this year.  Check the References section of this blog for more info. on these great organizations.  Call it making a difference:  meaningfulness conveyed through jewelry.  Cool beans.

I am humbled what the Lord has allowed me to accomplish this year.  Blogging and jewelry are welcome distractions from illness.  Thank you for being a part of my life.  May the Lord bless you!

Widows in Malawi, Africa
Market Colors:  Widows in Malawi, Africa
Threads of Hope
Threads of Hope:  Manilla, Philippines

Lyin’ in the Morning Sun

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzrXc68gNjQ

I had the chance to “sit by the dock of the bay” or river/reservoir/lake/ocean many times this past year and was unable to take it.

I had the chance to work part time as an occupational therapist in home care and have been unable to do it since March.

I had the chance to garden and fell short of the project “To Do” list.

I had the chance to live as others do and was not selected to live as they do.

Like the song says, “I can’t do what ten people tell me to do.  So I guess I’ll remain the sa-me.”

What have I been able to do?  Learn how much Jesus loves me just as I am.  Feel His love directly through the love of my life, Steve.  Give back here and there out of my weakness alone.  Take time to pray.  Learn to breathe more deeply.  Meet people I never knew before.  Witness the Lord’s majesty and grace in ways I’d never experienced before.  Let go, let God beyond what I ever learned in 12-step circles.  Seek and find the face of Jesus.  Do it sick.  Apply the talents He has given me in new ventures as a Master Gardener Intern and Principal Designer/Owner.  Live in humility and gratitude (and continue to grow in both).  Meet you, gentle reader.

Now that I’m up off of the couch, I think I can take the dog out and get ready for the day.  Golly gee, my tummy hurts and I don’t know why.  And here come the sweats and oh do I feel sick.  Wonder if I’ll make it to my second craft show this Saturday?  If I do, it’s gonna take a miracle for sure!  Alas, I am reminded:

6 So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Zech 4

Yes, by His Spirit alone.  Unlike the words of Otis Redding who sang, “sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting ti-me,” I know that nothing is wasted in God’s economy.  As a believer in Jesus Christ, my eternal life has already begun.  This time is not measured by tasks or the stuff of this life on earth.  This time, today, is measured by grace.  I’m layin’ in the morning sun on the couch, typing at the computer with the sun at my back through the window, and breathing in deeply, the subtle richness of knowing that I can do all things through Him that strengthens me (Phil 4:13).  So glad I got that straight today.  Elle!  Let’s gooooooooooooooooo!

What Do a Furnace and a Sleep Lab have in Common?

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furnaceimages

apnea2

Looks like the Doc is a duck or about to diagnose, well who knows what?

Far fetched you say?  Not according to my experience in a Sleep Lab last night!  If I understand this correctly, my yet unnamed Sleep Doc’s report will look something like this:

7:30 p.m.  Arrive at sleep lab with way too much stuff packed to keep me busy, plus my pillow and minus my shampoo.  Oops.  Check-in paperwork.

8:00 p.m.  Dinner from a zip lock bag of ingredients from my special “anti-seizure” diet.  The HGTV marathon begins.  We don’t have cable or dish at home.  I’m jazzed!  Love it or List It.  Yeah baby!

8:30 p.m.  Get approval for a later bedtime since I usually can’t fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning.  So they’ll confine me to bed at 11:30 p.m. and I can lay there in the dark with them looking at me through camera behind the black plexiglass window on the ceiling.  I could arrange some funny faces or something.  I’ll have the time to think of something until I fall asleep . . .

9:00 p.m.  Demo and trial of a CPAP mask and machine.  Talk about feeling suffocated, yipes!  Actually felt relaxed 20 minutes later and wanted to keep it.  Not so fast, Missy, as you only get to use it during the study if the test results the first half of the night warrant it.  Notice that this means they will be waking me up to suffocate me if I warrant it!  Modern medicine.

10:00 p.m. Hardware glued and taped to my head, ribs, face, and legs.  Fingertip vice called a pulse ox secured to my right index finger.  Lots of colored wires (around 20) are attached to a blue box that would put the back of your computer tower to shame, and hung around my neck.  Great.  I’m feeling sleepy already, not!

11:20 p.m.  Get the “10 minute warning” that they are coming in to put me to bed.  How nice.  No pillow mints though.  No bed either.  There’s a Murphy bed in the wall that hasn’t come down yet.  Modern medicine indeed.

11:30 p.m.  Tech “K” tells me I have to turn off the t.v. and I haven’t found out if the couple will keep their remodeled duplex without the promised new kitchen and bathroom or spring for the $949,000 move-up mansion.  Did I mention they came in 5 minutes before the end of the HGTV program twice already?  Geez!  Anyways, she helps me get settled as best I can into bed with not one but two probes in my nose in addition what appears to be the back of the fuse box connected to my body.  Time for bed!  Lights go out.  Seizure-like tic attacks begin.  No need to make faces; the show has begun.

12:00 – 2:00 a.m.  Up to the bathroom twice, tossing and turning, praying, praying, praying.  Tics on and off with sweats.  Sweating persists throughout the night.  Why is this mattress so hot?  Room temperature feels warm then I’m not sure.  Tech “K” comes in twice with each trip to the bathroom to disconnect me from the secret control panel in the cabinet next to the cabinet holding my bed.  Remember the old Dick Van Dyke T.V. episodes where the Murphy bed folds back up with the person in it?   Yeah, I’m remembering it about now.

2:30 a.m.  Start crying and can’t stop.  The sound of the furnace is just too loud.  My nose itches just too much.  I can’t get comfortable and I can’t sleep.  I’m sick and tired of being poked, tested, probed, scanned, analyzed, drugged, drained, and worse.  I feel very small.  And Jesus meets me here.

2:30 a.m.  Tech “K” comes in to try to figure out why I’m crying and how to get me to stop.  Do I want to stop the test?  Sit up?  Stop the test?  Wondered why she asked me the last question twice.  Maybe I’m a handful.  She said the most interesting patient she had pretended to be riding a bicycle in the air while sleeping.  Guess my show wasn’t that good through the black plexiglass window after all.  Then again, I mention the loud furnace.  In seconds, we are walking to another room and find that it is much quieter.  Praise the Lord!  And she says it’s no problem to move to another room.  We pack up, bring down another bed hidden in the wall of cabinets and before long I’m in bed again.  This room is warmer; feels good initially . . .

I think I fell asleep sometime around 3:00 a.m. after some tic jolts and a few tosses this way and that way.  I probably woke up six times (before they said it was 9:00 a.m.), overheated from underneath.  Must be a down feather pillow top mattress or something.  And before I knew it, the voice on the speaker from above was saying, “good morning Julie, it’s time to get up now.”  A few tic zips rang in the new day and then Tech “J” appeared.   Tech “K” has gone home.  It’s now over for me too:  time to unplug, de-stick, and crawl home.  We made it Lord.

This day was a rough one, with a straining feeling from broken sleep and feeling torn between napping and sticking it out to go to bed early.  Tried the latter and wasn’t able to sleep, again!   A host of flu-like symptoms distracted me all day long.  It’s one of those times when you wished you could throw up and get it over with — twice.  Ate lightly including the prescribed  portion of cooked rabbit.  Yes, I have a weird diet to match my weird story.  (See blog entitled, “Rascally Rabbit,” for more!)

What do a furnace and a sleep lab have in common?  One keeps the lab working and the other works despite the furnace.   Modern medicine.  Have you taken yours today?

Flexibility is Key

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Yellow roses and purple irises for our anniversary!

Today is the five year anniversary for my husband, Steve and me.  I struggled to try to figure out how to “celebrate” since  I am still battling Lyme Disease and don’t feel well most of the time.  Let’s see, a little creative flexibility would be in order:

Dinner at Biaggi’s:  we checked local restaurant menus online, made a couple of calls then decided on Biaggi’s as there’s enough on my allergy-free list to comprise a dinner.  Once there, the host seated us in a quieter section of the restaurant (without even asking!) and the waiter was able to turn the music below my sensitivity level.  And yes, the waiter was able to have a salad made for me, picking and choosing from all the acceptable ingredients on the salad menu.  The coconut yogurt dressing came with me, packed in my purse.   Result:  a romantic anniversary dinner with my beloved Steve.

Movie date:   started having a headache (the pre-seizure attack kind) on the way to the theater so we stopped at Walgreens for some OTC meds.  Then we sat in the parking lot until the headache subsided but the seizure attacks came anyways.   I cried and Stevers drove us to two Red Box DVD dispenser machines.  Only problem was that most of the movies were either obscure or rated R.  Next, we came home with mixed emotions and Steve’s daughter, Christina mentioned that you can rent and download DVDs at Amazon.com for $.99.  Seemed like workable alternative then the seizure attacks returned.  (Guess the other unknown ingredients in the dinner got to me?  Hard to say . . .)  The attacks ended and we relaxed for awhile before staging a movie theater in the office with a ton of pillows and comforters. Result:  Pixar flick “UP” made for a sweet movie date.

So you can see how grateful I am for so many things this evening.  Steve takes even the weirdest, ugliest, most stressful things in stride; these qualities make a HUGE difference in this time of illness.  Oh how I am blessed to be his wife and partner in this life.  I hope that when I am called to serve him that I will be as gracious!  Just finally figuring out what to do to celebrate our anniversary was a huge gift since I wasn’t sure we could do anything at all.  Thank you Lord for guiding us and providing a sweet evening together.

Flexibility is key in celebrating an anniversary in a time of illness or trials.  Flexibility is key in living everyday with gratitude and hope.  There is sweetness not to be missed, we just gotta look for it and go for it!  If it don’t work one way, try another.  We can celebrate so much more than the special dates and events.  And if we have faith in the Lord and we let Him guide our paths and bunny trails, well, the outcome is Providential indeed.  Let’s see, what can we celebrate today?  :J

Habakkuk 3:17-19

New International Version (NIV)

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.