Tag: Jesus

Lift me up my Lord

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Psalm-23 4

Lift me up my Lord, my King!

Don’t leave me here alone forgone

I am dying inside as one they have abandoned

Despite my attempts to serve, to obey, decaying inside all the while.

There is no reserve

To bring to life anymore

The light left me long ago when wretched darkness

Became the friend I never wanted and never invited to stay.

The desperation drips with tears

The emptiness has no where left for an infill

The days blur meaninglessly from one to the next

The prayers still go unanswered by the God who has always known best.

Grant me some goodness

Oh Lord of my heart, my King

I’m drowning here with no-nowhere left

To Google, to turn, to ask, to keep me going ’til the day You will speak.

Have I not done the things that are set

The ones I thought you showed me to do?

Yet the suffering ramps louder than my screams with each seize

Take me from this hell please oh Master of my heart.  Isn’t it my time?

waiting, wanting, scripture, Bible, patience, trust, suffering, His will

Humbly, I will wait.  JJ

Vampire Diaries 2

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hebrews, Hebrews 13:5, abandonment, promises of God, alone, loneliness, scripture, depression, sorrow, loss, illness, sickness, hope

Tears going up and down a lot this day

On the roller coaster of emotion I find myself on:

Help cometh x2 but test results won’t satisfy

As here I sit with my neck aching all through my brain.

I tried.  I really tried to figure it out and failed.

The symptoms that remain still taunt my peace

Leaving scars, leaving woes, leaving loss behind the hope

And yet my breath prevails so in and out I will also go today

To match the pull of the vampire’s teeth left in my chest wall.

The infusions continue instead of a long-desired break

The bank will love us less, the medical folk perhaps more

Whilst someone’s Mercedes payment will be made

And my saga continues on Big Box Store hamburger.

Hope always seems just one more day out there somewheres

Leaving me here beat up from this morning’s episode of torment

A snuggle with my husband got transformed into caregiving

And more hours were lost in the aftermath once again.

At least my dog seems to understand as she nudges her nose at the leash.  “Can’t we go now?” her soft brown eyes contend.

Relief might come in the mail soon

Or maybe not; it’s hard to tell

So I’ll keep calling on my Jesus for now

His calling card never leaves and never fails any of us anyways. JJ

 

 

What could be better than that?

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Tonight on Facebook I got a real education.

I learned that naturopathic doctors are getting murdered by the pharmaceutical giants and that chemotherapy never works.  Obamacare may be exposed for what it really is and I can sign a petition  with a few strokes and clicks to make everything all right again.

I learned that the media says that Clinton is leading Trump in (crafted?) “polls” and that extremist demonstrators stabbed a bunch of people while I baked cookies on a beautiful night.

I learned that all I have to do to clean my colon is to drink a blueberry concoction and that the sunset over our town was a blessing from God.

I learned that the USA should withdraw from the United Nations now that the UK has withdrawn from the EU but the vote may be reconsidered too.

I learned whose family did what this weekend, the anniversaries that were celebrated, and the babies-n-pets who have done the cutest things lately.

I learned that those with chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and the like are still suffering out there making me really sad.

I learned some cute slogans to remember with some attached to Bible references and cool photos.  Are they be real or photo shopped?

I learned who is selling what, whose stuff is still cool to look at, and what stuff we should all win/buy/enjoy before we die.

I learned about the upcoming webinars that will cure this or that, make fat melt away, or make my business succeed if I really tried hard enough to win!

I learned how to waste just under an hour pouring into the what-you-can-see lives of others and the social media marketers of fairy tale realities, stuff, skills I need, emoticons, or whatever advertisements to distract me from living my own life.

I learned that God is more popular than Jesus . . . as a matter of fact I did not see the name Jesus Christ mentioned at all.

Most of all I learned that my daytime spent sick in bed was probably still better than the mindless, numbing, lying, evil crap that often goes on in the world around me and gets posted on Facebook.  So please send me pictures of puppies and maybe a cute kid or penguin.  Scripture rocks too.  The rest is quite meaningless.

We’ll see if tomorrow on Facebook is any better?  (I never learn!)  JJ

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To be small

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To be insignificant . . . is to be small

Yet being small is not insignificant.

Finding yourself last . . . is like finally getting up to bat in the bottom of the ninth inning

Yet the last at bat is not insignificant.

Not having gotten a word in edge-wise . . . can be an involuntary holding of the tongue

Yet avoiding many sorrows is not insignificant.

Remembering too late to make a difference . . . fuels the fire of regret in one’s belly

Yet preparedness at the Divine second chance is not insignificant.

Letting go of keeping score . . . might not win an argument in the moment

Yet grace under fire is not insignificant.

Waiting on the Lord for His perfect timing . . . feels like an eternity instead of the days

Yet joy in the morning is never insignificant when it comes.

And so I pray this night to be the humble . . . as one seen and still heard

By the One who makes me significant after all and says well done!

Jesus, warms, my, heart, penguin, faith, cute

A matter of perspective

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Monday’s perspective:

The level of sunlight raises up then down in the hallway beyond my bed
Like a child playing with a dimmer switch, how I know where these thoughts have led!
How can I get up and face the world one more, yes one more day?
When so much suffering met me here or there, no matter where the level of light has shone along the way?
Still one cannot judge the next moment based upon the past…
You just cannot predict when joy, when peace, when hope will come at last?
Simmer down inner child and let the sovereignty of your Lord speak.
You must remember how He delivered you in the past when you were so weak.


Your fears, your toils were measured by My drops of blood while I hung on that cross
I saw, I see, I weep, and I am always right there when you feel lost.
Hitch your heart to Mine choosing faith that freedom will come in due time
Watch for My answers, My leadings, My deliverance some now, some beyond a simple rhyme.


There is hope. There is more. There is a heaven, I promise as I know you have seen.
Walk towards My light dear one: what’s coming is greater than what has been . . .

Friday’s perspective:

In time the beatings diminish

And you catch your breath to finish

The week that held too much, oh dear

Gave way to Friday and better news to hear.

Things moved forward:  medical tests and even some healing

Living more in the facts by golly with less in the “fearful feelings.”

I might even go out soon:  making plans for the days ahead Lord willing

Better get the pup.  It’s time for a ride to pick up the bacon, the drugs, the groceries:  excuses good enough to put off another day the cleaning!

May the Lord bless your weekend, Gentle Reader.  JJ