Tag: hope

Jesus is for the Wounded

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In the wee hours of Christmas morning, it is.

My body isn’t happy and my heart feels a little smaller than usual.

I wonder when this or that will change:  when the prayers will be answered?

Sadly, some did not say hello when I made it to church for the first time in a month.

Crying could be in the cards tonight, or at least a little pouting.  And what would that accomplish anyways?

I have so much goodness in my life, outside of this illness and its related difficulties.  About these I have written time and time again.

Why is it so easy to forget the blessings?  The roller coaster of life when it gets complicated too easily pushes my focus off of what is most important again and again.

Put the robe back on, take it off, no put it back on again as the sweat episode comes and goes; am I hungry or is it low grade nausea this time?  Oh yeah, the tic attacks have started again.

There is no end to this kind of thinking in my own strength.  I go on about it here only to illustrate that even as a believer in Jesus Christ, I am tempted, taunted by the darkness of this world.  Perhaps the difference between me and someone who does not believe will be what happens next.  Others may attempt to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and cheer up with positive self talk.  Still more will use a substance or dark distraction to erase the reality that can be so difficult to face.  Those comforts will be temporary and fail to something else that must replace it eventually.  Well this Christmas morning, these will not be me.  I will turn somewhere else.

But wait, can a baby born in a filthy village to a teenage girl and out of wedlock possibly comfort me in my anguish?  Even if He spoke wise words, did countless miracles, and 500 people testified that he rose from the dead, does that have anything to do with me tonight?  What if His life, death, and resurrection were perfectly predicted 500 or so years earlier without the benefit of the internet, does that mean anything for me or for you either?  And if He was part of God, the three persons of the one entity that is “God,” does that mean that He had anything to do with me being created?  So if He did create me, did He have really some purpose or plan for my life that included allowing me to get Lyme Disease?

Guess what?  The answers are yes.  Jesus is for the “wounded.”  Jesus is for this wounded woman who doesn’t feel so hot.  Jesus is for those who do good and those who do not.   Jesus is for those who think they are good but can never really be good enough because of our shared human condition:  we are all flawed by sin.  Jesus is for the sinner and those affected by sin in this fallen, imperfect world.  Jesus is the answer now and always.  And when I lift my eyes from my limited life and fix them on He Who is infinite, seek His forgiveness, claim that He is Lord, my eternal life comes into view.  This trial of illness will give way to an eternity in heaven with Him:  and there will be no more pain, weeping, or sorrow.  Yeah God!  How do I know this?  He promised it in His Word!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. (John 1:1-3)

The answers are all in the Bible and the Bible is God, one and the same.  How does that work?  Finding the answer to that begins in a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Creator of all people, places, things, events, and spiritual entities.    Some go to His Word first.  Some cry out to Him before realizing Who is out there listening and waiting for them with perfect love.  Some find Him through a person who knows Him and draws a bridge to the heart of Christ by his or her actions, tenderness, words.  In the end, we can all find Him if we but seek Him.  Don’t stop with that spiritual friend or influence either.  He, she, or it will fail us at some point.  Trust God to be perfect; just love people (spoken first by my former Pastor, Bill Hybels).  Jesus will not, never, ever fail us.  Jesus is for the wounded.  He “knows” the cries of our hearts as He was also wounded physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually too.  He does care about our sorrows.  He came to save us from the consequences of the sin of this world.   If all this wasn’t true, He would have never left the heaven realms to be born into this world only to die a tortuous death on a cross.  Would you leave paradise for me?  Er, no.

Tonight my heart is transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2).  Thank you Jesus for coming to save me (Luke 19:10).  Thank you for watching over me (Psalm121:5) and ensuring that the trials will not be wasted (Jeremiah 29:11).  Thank you for caring about me (1 Peter 5:7) and taking care of my true needs (Luke 12:22-30).  Thank you for Your gift of salvation and eternity with You (John 3:16).  One day I know that I will be well, whole, and rejoicing in Your presence!  (Psalm 30)

Merry Christmas indeed.

Lyin’ in the Morning Sun

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzrXc68gNjQ

I had the chance to “sit by the dock of the bay” or river/reservoir/lake/ocean many times this past year and was unable to take it.

I had the chance to work part time as an occupational therapist in home care and have been unable to do it since March.

I had the chance to garden and fell short of the project “To Do” list.

I had the chance to live as others do and was not selected to live as they do.

Like the song says, “I can’t do what ten people tell me to do.  So I guess I’ll remain the sa-me.”

What have I been able to do?  Learn how much Jesus loves me just as I am.  Feel His love directly through the love of my life, Steve.  Give back here and there out of my weakness alone.  Take time to pray.  Learn to breathe more deeply.  Meet people I never knew before.  Witness the Lord’s majesty and grace in ways I’d never experienced before.  Let go, let God beyond what I ever learned in 12-step circles.  Seek and find the face of Jesus.  Do it sick.  Apply the talents He has given me in new ventures as a Master Gardener Intern and Principal Designer/Owner.  Live in humility and gratitude (and continue to grow in both).  Meet you, gentle reader.

Now that I’m up off of the couch, I think I can take the dog out and get ready for the day.  Golly gee, my tummy hurts and I don’t know why.  And here come the sweats and oh do I feel sick.  Wonder if I’ll make it to my second craft show this Saturday?  If I do, it’s gonna take a miracle for sure!  Alas, I am reminded:

6 So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Zech 4

Yes, by His Spirit alone.  Unlike the words of Otis Redding who sang, “sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting ti-me,” I know that nothing is wasted in God’s economy.  As a believer in Jesus Christ, my eternal life has already begun.  This time is not measured by tasks or the stuff of this life on earth.  This time, today, is measured by grace.  I’m layin’ in the morning sun on the couch, typing at the computer with the sun at my back through the window, and breathing in deeply, the subtle richness of knowing that I can do all things through Him that strengthens me (Phil 4:13).  So glad I got that straight today.  Elle!  Let’s gooooooooooooooooo!

It’s Craft Show Season and I’m In

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As Saturday gets closer, I’m as excited as I am nervous about what the day will bring.  It’s a big day for me, for sure.

8:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. EST Lord willing I’ll be participating in my first Craft Show at a local church.  My display is spread out on the living room floor, ready to go with both knotted hemp and gem/mineral stone selections from Trinity Jewelry by Design.  I am humbled at how the Lord has used this business to keep me going during the trials of Lyme Disease recovery.  Up late at night, working on the jewelry, posting pictures at my online shop, or researching gem/mineral stone descriptions, this has kept me sane.  I did not lose my mind to the forgetfulness, spaciness, brain hiccups after all.  Praise the Lord!  Now I just need to finish up a few things, set up on Friday night and somehow get my butt out of bed (without seizure attacks or headache, please) and to the church by “way too early” Saturday morning.  Who buys crafts at 8 in the morning?  Geez. Maybe the early hours are for the Cookie Walk that’s at the same time?

And if I get there, I’ll be able to do what is needed because I love this kind of venue.  The sweats, the word-finding difficulties, the head pressure, the pain won’t matter as I will be in my element.  Let’s hope the budding throat and ear infection doesn’t take hold either.  If it’s spiritual warfare rising up then I know there’s victory in Christ Jesus.  See Romans 8:38.  No worries there, the issues that are coming up are just “temporary setbacks,” eh?

As if this isn’t enough, there’s another very important appointment at 3:00 p.m.  I am honored to be the “guest patient” at a special training course in chiropractic neurology per the invitation of my family doctor.  Perhaps they will find the key to the seizure attacks and the cure.  Perhaps my doctor will have in hand the result of the sleep-deprived EEG last week, coupled with all my test results.  And with a sleep study scheduled just 2 days later on December 3rd, there should be plenty of data to come up with a plan to annihilate these debilitating episodes.  Hope is on the way!  I’ll bet after the energy stretch of the craft show in the morning, there will be plenty of fireworks for the class to witness.  Humbling to have to be a guinea pig.  Hopeful for some help, in the end.

So now it’s time to prep some product info. for my friend’s gem and mineral stone jewelry.  It’s all in the mix.  I feel sick.  I’ll do it sick anyways.  It’s Craft Show season, and I’m in!  Cool beans.

By the way, my website is:  www.trinityjewelrybydesign.com

Flexibility is Key

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Yellow roses and purple irises for our anniversary!

Today is the five year anniversary for my husband, Steve and me.  I struggled to try to figure out how to “celebrate” since  I am still battling Lyme Disease and don’t feel well most of the time.  Let’s see, a little creative flexibility would be in order:

Dinner at Biaggi’s:  we checked local restaurant menus online, made a couple of calls then decided on Biaggi’s as there’s enough on my allergy-free list to comprise a dinner.  Once there, the host seated us in a quieter section of the restaurant (without even asking!) and the waiter was able to turn the music below my sensitivity level.  And yes, the waiter was able to have a salad made for me, picking and choosing from all the acceptable ingredients on the salad menu.  The coconut yogurt dressing came with me, packed in my purse.   Result:  a romantic anniversary dinner with my beloved Steve.

Movie date:   started having a headache (the pre-seizure attack kind) on the way to the theater so we stopped at Walgreens for some OTC meds.  Then we sat in the parking lot until the headache subsided but the seizure attacks came anyways.   I cried and Stevers drove us to two Red Box DVD dispenser machines.  Only problem was that most of the movies were either obscure or rated R.  Next, we came home with mixed emotions and Steve’s daughter, Christina mentioned that you can rent and download DVDs at Amazon.com for $.99.  Seemed like workable alternative then the seizure attacks returned.  (Guess the other unknown ingredients in the dinner got to me?  Hard to say . . .)  The attacks ended and we relaxed for awhile before staging a movie theater in the office with a ton of pillows and comforters. Result:  Pixar flick “UP” made for a sweet movie date.

So you can see how grateful I am for so many things this evening.  Steve takes even the weirdest, ugliest, most stressful things in stride; these qualities make a HUGE difference in this time of illness.  Oh how I am blessed to be his wife and partner in this life.  I hope that when I am called to serve him that I will be as gracious!  Just finally figuring out what to do to celebrate our anniversary was a huge gift since I wasn’t sure we could do anything at all.  Thank you Lord for guiding us and providing a sweet evening together.

Flexibility is key in celebrating an anniversary in a time of illness or trials.  Flexibility is key in living everyday with gratitude and hope.  There is sweetness not to be missed, we just gotta look for it and go for it!  If it don’t work one way, try another.  We can celebrate so much more than the special dates and events.  And if we have faith in the Lord and we let Him guide our paths and bunny trails, well, the outcome is Providential indeed.  Let’s see, what can we celebrate today?  :J

Habakkuk 3:17-19

New International Version (NIV)

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.