hope – Page 38 – Jesus is for the Wounded

You have made a difference!

Published on September 27, 2013August 5, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

I am grateful for the love, care, and support of some special folks who have helped me make it through nearly two years of serious illness. I am also sad for those who have left my life or misunderstood this time in my life. Hardship is not contagious folks!

First, the good stuff. The person nearest and dearest to my heart is my beloved husband, Steve. I am amazed when I gaze into his blue eyes at the sincerity of his love for me and for the Lord too. When he comes close and holds me through a tough episode, cradling my neck in his hands to comfort me and minimize the trauma of various noxious symptoms, I am humbled! There are not many people on the planet that would do this even for a loved one two years “down the road.” Many would become exasperated, angry, indifferent, or worse by now. Thank you Lord for this amazing man. Thank you for my “Jesus with skin on.”

The next group of folks closest to the fire, so to speak, who have helped me to survive are my Lyme Literate Medical Doctor and our local Lyme disease support group (who are largely his patients). You understand! You get it! And you believe me! When my Doc calls me on a Saturday with the name of a pharmacy where I can get a medication almost $100 USD cheaper, I am grateful! When it’s my turn to share at our monthly Lyme group meeting and my tummy is happy from the yummy snacks we bring that fit our special dietary restrictions, I feel loved! And then when we exchange text messages or Cindy, or Roberta or Diana offers help with a special task, I am humbled. Oh how I pray I may serve you too in your time of need.

A few dear friends and family members have witnessed and endured much of the past 10 years of this incredible journey of transformation. I love the kind of relationships that go on no matter what life brings, picking up when we meet again as if no time has passed. I hope my brother Mike, Brenda, Deb, Kinsey, Patrice, Mary, Judy, Maria, Tami, and a few others feel the same way? Now that my parents and grandparents have passed away, I appreciate even more my extended family including my Other Mom, Other Dad, Uncle Dave, Aunt Lori, Aunt Patty, and Aunt Shirley. I love you and thank you for investing in my life.

There’s a special place in my heart for the online community. Whether I met you on a Facebook Lyme forum, your blog or when you commented on my blog, I credit you with keeping me sane at the odd times of day when no one else cares! Thank you for your “likes,” for following this blog, for your comments and suggestions, for your time. The greatest gift from a friend is a gift of his or her time. When you reach out to me I know that I am not alone. While the internet can be a ruthless place, I am grateful for it’s goodness, especially when I am awake in the middle of the night. It’s pretty cool that my buds in the UK or West coast of the US are online when I am! Please let me know how I may return your kindness.

I’ll save the best for last. In the interim, I’ll briefly state my sorrow for those who have chosen to leave my life. He or she will not be reading this so I won’t waste much white space gushing this or that emotion. I am grateful that when I have endured hardship in the past, I learned the importance of letting go of the people, places, and things that leave my life at these times. Perhaps saying goodbye makes room to welcome the blessings that are to come? Thank you for all that you have taught me. Godspeed, dear ones. I’ll be here if you want to stop by for a chat or walk around the block in the future. As for the things, well they are just things. So long.

And now for the best: the One who knew me and my frame before I was born, fearfully and wonderfully made by Your guiding hand. (Psalm 139) I love you Lord and thank you for saving me from my path of destruction as a young woman. I praise you for crafting the incredible events of my life to bring me more blessing than I could have ever imagined in the middle of my journey on this earth. While I do not fully understand the sorrows that have come, I am convinced that You hold my tears in your hand, counting and caring for each drop, every pain. I have never felt alone. Thank you Jesus for bringing me to Your throne of grace where I may dwell in Your presence now and forevermore. Grow my trust in Your promises, Your plan for my life, Your will for me all that is around me in this world that is troublesome. Come soon my Lord!

So for all of you and you and you and you and You who have made a difference in my life, I give thanks. If I have screwed up somewhere, please let me know and consider forgiving me. I want to make it right if I can. And if any good comes from me, these blogs, or anything else, to God be the glory. He is worthy to be praised!

From the bathroom mirror

Published on September 21, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Psalm 71: 20-22 (NKJV)

You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,

Shall revive me again,

And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

²¹You shall increase my greatness, And comfort me on every side.

²²Also with the lute I will praise You—

And Your faithfulness, O my God!

To You I will sing with the harp, O Holy One of Israel.

*******************

Yes Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer,

My hope and my rest.

Thank you for Your timeless Words.

Thank you for revealing Yourself and Your truths to me this day.

May all who find them come to know you and love you exceedingly.

In Jesus name, Amen.

One step closer to something good

Published on September 14, 2013September 24, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

So grateful to release the cover of my upcoming eBook! Enjoy the most encouraging and meaningful blogs updated and all in one place with Bonus Pages too. Preorders will be available FOR FREE for a few days before it goes live!

Gentle Readers always get da best ya know.

Be sure to watch this blog for upcoming announcements and just a little enthusiasm coming from my home to yours soon!

Take care, Just Julie

Your God is not big enough

Published on September 8, 2013September 9, 2013 by Jesus is for the Wounded3 Comments

If you can’t have peace when sick in bed on a drop dead gorgeous afternoon . . . your God is not big enough.

When the dog looks at you with worried eyes because she heard you yelping from the bedroom with convulsions and you wonder if you’ll survive the day . . . your God is not big enough.

A doctor gives you a new medication to calm you down and maybe even lessen your suffering, it doesn’t, and you wonder if you’ll ever get past the wretchedness, the repeated disappointments . . . and your God is not yet big enough.

When you are frustrated that dinner is finished after midnight, you are up on the internet after 2:00 a.m. and you lose faith that you will ever have a normal life . . . your God is not big enough.

If every day poses a new test to your resolve and there is none left . . . you have not learned to rely on a God that is big enough.

When your blog glorifies your own accomplishments, makes you appear stronger than you really are, and claims to know anything separate from the One who made you . . . you have not allowed your God to be big enough.

And if you can find a way to convey how small yet how loved you really are, how your forgiveness spans as far as the east is from the west, and how there truly is hope beyond Lyme disease or what you can see . . . your God is becoming big enough to believe.

So if you are suffering in any way like me and find yourself in doubt, in pain, despairing, angry, lonely, or worse, it’s time we both face the fact there is a God who is big enough to carry all of our burdens. Let us come before His throne of grace this day and pour out our hearts to the One whose gracious thoughts towards us outnumber the grains of sand on the earth. He wept for each one of us, He sweat drops of blood for all of His children, He died a tortuous death for you and me, and He rose from the dead to save us from the burdens of all of our troubles in this life. In time, He will come again for you and for me to live with Him forever in paradise.

As you ponder this, I invite you to get to know just a little more: the God who is big enough. And if you have not yet invited Him into your heart, consider doing so this day too. You will see what a difference His love will make. Then you will say about the Lord Jesus Christ, His Word, His hope, His promises, the adventurous and mysterious life that he bestows upon us: I just can’t get enough!

Keeping Calm

Published on September 5, 2013September 5, 2013 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Jesus Calms the Storm

²²One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. ²³As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

²⁴The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.²⁵“Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.” (Luke 8)

This is such a great story isn’t it? The newbie disciples did not know that there was no way that they could drown with the God of the universe in the boat with them! And further, the story illustrates the omnipotence of God, that even the raging seas obey Him. This story also reminds me of a message from Pastor David Jeremiah in which he taught the truth that a person in the middle of God’s will cannot perish until the Lord’s work is completed in him or her. “Cannot perish!” Wow. Sure makes my fears and worries worthless. If I could just remind myself of these truths in the midst of my own storms then surely I would be a better instrument for the Lord . . .

I might have made some progress last night. Allow me to explain. When reeling from 1 1/2 hours of relentless seizure attacks, I eeked out to my husband, “I need help.” Within moments were on our way to the emergency room of a local hospital. All I could think about was, “thank you” to Steve and, “I’m going to get help.”

Getting that help took a long time. First there’s the registration, then the review of the bazillion supplements, compounded medications, and meds, and the $100 emergency room co-payment. The ER Doc asked a few questions, called my family doctor, and a nurse started an IV. 200cc of fluids and some pain meds began to flow through the sore IV line in my frail forearms. And amazingly within about 20 minutes, the seizing stopped. Praise the Lord! I actually started to feel sort of normal. Even the neck headache from the thrashing of my head went away. Wow.

What I did not expect was the diagnosis. While I am not going to go into the details here, I will say that I was shocked. Both Steve and I did not agree about what was written on the page. Sensing the anger rise up within me, gratefully, I started to pray instead: Lord, help me to handle this as you would.

I asked to speak to the ER Doc and expressed my concerns. He said that to change the diagnosis would be fraud. I believe that I respectfully disagreed and stated that as a licensed healthcare professional myself, I understand both the responsibility of medical documentation: to get it right and to respect the future implications for the patient. I thanked him for the treatment that stopped the seizures. Later I chose to “qualify” my signature on the discharge instructions in a way that indicated that while I received the discharge paperwork, I did not agree with its contents. Then we left.

It is now 28 hours later and I have not had another seizure-like episode! Praise the Lord! The “seas” remain calm and I was able to get some restorative sleep; I even caught up on a few errands this evening with my pup in tow. I have begun some online research related to my experience of the past day and started pounding electrolyte replacements to keep myself hydrated. My Lord is the only one who knows what the next day holds for me . . . will I make it to an unrelated doctor appointment tomorrow or even a quick outdoor outing with my hubby mid-day? Or will the attacks return as I lie on the bed a few minutes from now? The latter has been my life for virtually all of the past 1 1/2 years . . .

Keep calm. Keeping calm. Trusting that the Lord who calms the seas can not only get me from this evening to the morning, He can get me through all of the stormy days of my life. Oh Lord, care for my beloved Stevers as well and restore Him from the stress of riding things out in the rocky boat with me. May we both keep our eyes fixed on you with amazement for all that you have done and all that you have yet to do in our lives. Thank you for the help. I will entrust you with the details as I lay them at Your throne of grace.

Goodnight all, Just Julie

Psalm 121