hope in the storm – Jesus is for the Wounded

So we had a great go of it, HCBDHO and me.

This past winter I gave it a try for about 3 months after discovering some research linking reduced seizures to consumption of a particular type of cannabis oil. When I found out that there is an industrial hemp oil with only trace amounts of THC and that it would be legal for me to purchase it in my State, I purchased a bottle online. I worked with the manufacturer and a couple of Facebook groups on dosing. My initial results were very encouraging!

Within 2 weeks I required increased drops of HCBDHO to receive the same benefit. This fit the profile of many other users of the product. Some required nearly 1/2 bottle to stop their seizures even if a child was taking it. There are lots of details here so I refer the Gentle Reader to previous posts by searching CBD oil on this site. In general as time wore on, the benefits diminished no matter what the dosing. Also in time I started having bad dreams then bizarre nightmares. The nightmares frightened me. I could not figure out why they were happening! Then I read that some folks are sensitive to even trace amounts of THC: the compound in cannabis oil that creates a high when taken in products that have a higher percentage of this cannabinoid. Well I wasn’t having a good time at all!

Eventually I stopped taking HCBDHO altogether. Now that I am sensitized to it, I do not intend to take it again. The risk of altered thought processes in my precious sleep (that I desperately need to recover from these wretched daily seizure attack episodes) overrides the small improvements that remained after 3 months. The benefits did not outweigh the risks. I am majorly bummed that it did not work for me. Nothing has worked for me. No combination of things have worked for me. I cannot tolerate treatment that works for others without ramping up to violent convulsions. Detoxing is impossible without noxious, severe side effects. Talk about being boxed into a dark corner without a flashlight. Will hope ever shine through again?

Sure it will. Lately I’m experimenting with magnesium threonate and may try a particular brand of Tahitian Noni Juice. The latter helped Kurt and Lee Ann Billings, the authors of Mold: The War Within, who did not do the typical protocols of cholestyramine, activated charcoal or benonite clay to get well. Yup, all of those three caused me noxious, severe side effects as well. Sish. I am very glad that there are new things to try despite the dead ends of my medical team at the moment. Thank you Lord that you are always my hope with or without Tahitian Noni: my forever guiding light Who uses the hardships for Your glory . . .

So for those of you considering using high CBD hemp oil (from industrial hemp) or other cannabis products (from hemp classified as medical marijuana), I encourage you to learn all you can at informational sites such as the following Scientific Review of the research literature: You are also invited to “Like” my facebook page which contains all of the pertinent research that I did when making my decision to try HCBDHO. The articles include the legality of industrial hemp products and the difference between them and medical marijuana. Here’s a link to get you started: Seizure Free Zone on Facebook

May the Lord bless you on your journey too, JJ

The risk of including the Seasons of Love You Tube video from the movie RENT in this blog is that this song will now be in my head for days and days! Well maybe that’s not such a bad thing, eh?

There’s so much Avant guard in this movie that I must warn you that it is not for either the faint of heart or for those who limit their recreational viewing to strictly Christian genre. This is fringe media at it’s best. This movie recognizes that love exists in other forms in life. While I do not want these other forms in my personal life, I do recognize that this kind of “love” provides some meaning for persons who do not understand the perfect love that comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ. Hopefully persons like the characters in this movie will find that wonderful unending and pure love someday. It’s worth the journey to seek something more than what you can see around you. It’s a different kind of measure of “love” for sure that extends beyond any season of life.

What I also love about this movie is the passion for life of the characters represented. I have lost most of this passion with the onset of illness 2 1/2 years ago. Sure I might get excited about a small project or celebration here and there but I am never very far away from a wretched episode that takes the “life” out of the moment. Today was one of those kind of days. The weather was beautiful. As a matter of fact we have had a beautiful Spring here in the Midwest with adequate rain for the landscape and farmers mixed with incredible 70-80 degree temperatures and plenty of sunshine. Most days have had some moments of clear weather, making way for virtually all activities outdoors even if for a few hours. Enjoying 2 weddings and related activities last week were largely met with a backdrop of blue skies. For this we remain grateful. The unfortunate reality of today for me was the sprinkling of wretched episodes of seizure attacks every 2-3 hours. I don’t even know why they happened. We have removed the known triggers in our home and in my diet yet here I am living in shorter moments of time within which I can function. Such a bummer. It’s a different kind of measure of life as most of us define it. It is life measured by moments.

In particular I love the lyrics of this song because it describes how I must live my life these days. “In daylights. In midnights. In sunsets. In cups of coffee . . . ” You can see that I live my life by the task, not necessarily complete activities. For example the walk I am grateful to have taken with my beloved and our pup this evening required a standing rest break for some noxious symptoms. We then proceeded home at a slower pace and with me dragging myself along with a somewhat altered gait. Sish. Can’t a girl get a break? I’d love to get back into exercising regularly; I am grateful for a few minutes that the Lord has granted here and there late at night when I’m more stable. That’s what I mean by tasks. I guess that’s all I can do right now are some tasks with a few modified activities in the mix. It’s a different kind of measure of “doing.”

So if this moment is all I have with you Gentle Reader, I invite you to take 3 minutes to watch the You Tube video. Think about your day today as you hum along or maybe consider the one you anticipate tomorrow with a new perspective: a different kind of measure. And if at all possible I do hope you will measure it in love, treasuring the love relationships in your life above all else. If you should choose to include a personal relationship with God in that collection, perhaps putting Him in His rightful place above all the rest then I assure you that the abundance of love that will return to you will be immeasurable. Seriously. He is infinite so His love cannot be measured! I tell you that His love makes a difference for me on a Sunday night like this. I pray that His love will make a difference for you too in this moment and all the rest to come. :J