Tag: RENT

No Day But Today

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A long time ago I made a decision to use the word “love” a little more freely.  That decision came with another which was to not let concerns of what others would think of that get in the way of expressing that love.  For example, if it was a female friend then she would get that the “love” was within the context of loving a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, love like a sister that I never had, and possibly a bond that simply comes with walking through many years of life’s ups and downs together.  The transition would be instant, from “Take Care” at the end of an email to “Love, Julie” if we had just endured a crisis together.  When one heart is hurting, there is no other word that will suffice.  Love covers things well.

Born again believers know the author of love as God himself.  The scriptures instruct us that:

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.  1 John 4

The Lord is the perfect reflection and expression of what love looks like.  I do believe that those who are not in Christ have a sense of what love is like too.  That is why I feel comfortable including a video in which 1) two women are kissing and 2) there is a man dressed as a woman embracing another man.  If the relationships were real, they must have a sense of connectedness to express their love outwardly.  I am not condoning homosexuality.  I just might understand it a little more since my late Uncle Fred lived and died within the context of “the gay lifestyle.”  I still loved him despite this decision.  Oh how I wish he and others knew the deeper spiritual connectedness that comes in a God-fearing and God-honoring relationship!  The Lord blesses those Who love him first!  (Hebrews 11:5-7)  But that is not my focus here today.

My focus is the importance of expressing love everyday to those you care about.  It’s not weird!  I am reminded of this today in the middle of 8 days in which my husband and I will attend two funerals.  I had only met his Uncle Don one time and was more “acquainted” with Dave than knowing he and his wife Jane more “personally.”  It didn’t and does not matter.  As fellow believers in Christ, their character and lives had impacted my life with that level of connection.  Uncle Don warmly accepted my marriage to Steve that had come at a time when most of Steve’s children still could not.  Since I knew without a doubt that the Lord was blessing our marriage, it was refreshing to feel loved by his family.  I thank the Lord for this.

Also when Steve and I married and started to attend his church home, he pointed out couples with strong marriages that he wanted to model our relationship after.  Dave and Jane was one of them.  They had been married for decades by then yet still had a sense of fun, a spark, and a deep love for one another that was palpable.  They worked separate jobs outside of their home yet were usually together at church and other important events.  Dave served the body of believers, his community, his employer, and his family with equal enthusiasm.  Thank you for pointing out this great example of a Godly man, Steve.  And yes, you are much like him for sure!

Today I am unable to attend Dave’s funeral service due to complications of a serious, ongoing illness.  Last night was particularly wretched.  I had a sense that it would be risky to go to the funeral home and be around so many people and potential exposures that trigger convulsive episodes.  I went anyways. I am also in the middle of re-shuffling my treatment plan and have no idea what made things so much worse.  The only good part about that hellish 2 hours was the toning of my abdominal muscles from flexion posturing, writhing, seizing, moaning, and more.  Oy vey.  In the middle of it I asked for the Lord to remove this hell.  I begged for His mercy.  It must have come since at some point I passed out and woke up about 7 hours later . . .

Today I am beat up from all that has transpired in the past day.  Somehow I am still alive!  Though my heart is heavy with grief on many fronts, I do not regret pouring out the strength that I had to be with friends in their time of need.  I got to be out with my beloved husband and do one of the important things of this life.  Going to the wake reminded me of the truth told a gazillion times before:  there is no day like today.  There is nothing like love between two people, magnified and blessed when they are one in Christ.  And lest it be forgotten or unknown, it is important to express that love out loud and often.  For me this includes the love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  For just as it says in the song,

I die without You!

Talk about perfect love! Oh Gentle Reader, won’t you join me in sharing a little love today? 

With love, JJ

How do you measure a year?

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September 18, 2014 was a day when I rediscovered the power of friendship at a new level.  ‘Tis fitting that we would spend our time reading the Psalms as we shared our lives with each other then tenderly prayed together.  Perhaps this is what women who love the Lord Jesus Christ do, eh?  Except that we were not meeting for a weekly video Bible study at church followed by coffee and treats.  This one touched our hearts more at home . . . literally!

In the past I have enjoyed Bible studies the best when we all meet in each other’s homes.  There is no better way to fellowship than to be immersed in the family pictures, dog hair, and dirty dishes of the ones you come to love in Christ.  In due time the host and hostess let go of having a clean house for everyone each week as we focus on what is really important:  opening up the truth of God’s word.  Prayer time was always my favorite.  The bonds between us became palpable as we lifted up each other’s hurts and victories before the Lord.  I do hope we glorified Him in doing so.

When serious illness struck my life October 11, 2011 my life slowly changed to one of almost total isolation.  Oh there were many visits to medical professionals, clinics, labs, hospitals, and pharmacies.  They were all very nice people, of course.  Going to Walmart became a rare “date night” with my beloved husband when I could not drive myself.  The highlight of my week often became buying groceries; somehow I ended up spending a little more money there than I probably should have perhaps in an attempt to find some alternative type of comfort.  Somehow new pair of sweats or comfy top would jump into the shopping cart on occasion as well!

Then the Lord inspired me to break the isolation beyond this blog.  I had some casual connections to a few of you Gentle Readers which delighted my soul, by the way.  How could this become more personal?  I published a blog in September of 2014 asking if anyone would be interested in starting up a Bible study/prayer time via Skype?  Perhaps there were other gals out there who were largely homebound like me and ready to connect before the Lord’s table.  Two gals graciously responded:  YES!

Each of us had different reasons for coming together.  Each of us had our own blogs and followings, outside interests, and experiences with our health.  We represented 3 different decades of life, 2 different countries and States, living situations either outside larger cities or in the country, and only one blonde.  (She is gonna kill me for writing that!)  We bonded quickly.

One gal who joined our group to be an encourager ended up facing one of the biggest health battles of her life this past year.  Two of us went in and out of relapses with illness and one endured a major upheaval in her husband’s job situation.  Two of us have also met face-to-face twice with hopes of a giggly reunion of all three of us perhaps this year?  I hope so!  Together we (have) cried, we laughed.  We prayed; we shared silly stories.  There were exchanges of recipes, websites, scripture, and more. We were encouraged by the love stories of the Psalms ministering to our feminine hearts.  And most of all we became friends.

So how do you measure the value of a year in life?  As this passionate theme song from the movie Rent speaks of sunsets, cups of coffee, laughter, and sighs, I do know that on Thursday night we three have shared them all this past year.  I agree with the chorus line to:  measure your life in love.  Because of you my dear ones, my year was richly blessed!

Thank you ladies for changing my life and ministering to me in a way that has made a difference.  May the Lord be glorified in all that we say and do, all that we write, and in the prayers that we lay before His throne of grace each week.  In the meantime,

“I am going to Rome.”

You two know what that means!  Happy one year anniversary!

Seeya next time ladies.  Love you, Julie

A different kind of measure

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The risk of including the Seasons of Love You Tube video from the movie RENT in this blog is that this song will now be in my head for days and days!  Well maybe that’s not such a bad thing, eh?

There’s so much Avant guard in this movie that I must warn you that it is not for either the faint of heart or for those who limit their recreational viewing to strictly Christian genre.  This is fringe media at it’s best.  This movie recognizes that love exists in other forms in life.  While I do not want these other forms in my personal life, I do recognize that this kind of “love” provides some meaning for persons who do not understand the perfect love that comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Hopefully persons like the characters in this movie will find that wonderful unending and pure love someday.  It’s worth the journey to seek something more than what you can see around you.  It’s a different kind of measure of “love” for sure that extends beyond any season of life.

What I also love about this movie is the passion for life of the characters represented.  I have lost most of this passion with the onset of illness 2 1/2 years ago.  Sure I might get excited about a small project or celebration here and there but I am never very far away from a wretched episode that takes the “life” out of the moment.  Today was one of those kind of days.  The weather was beautiful.  As a matter of fact we have had a beautiful Spring here in the Midwest with adequate rain for the landscape and farmers mixed with incredible 70-80 degree temperatures and plenty of sunshine.  Most days have had some moments of clear weather, making way for virtually all activities outdoors even if for a few hours.  Enjoying 2 weddings and related activities last week were largely met with a backdrop of blue skies.  For this we remain grateful.  The unfortunate reality of today for me was the sprinkling of wretched episodes of seizure attacks every 2-3 hours.  I don’t even know why they happened.  We have removed the known triggers in our home and in my diet yet here I am living in shorter moments of time within which I can function.  Such a bummer.  It’s a different kind of measure of life as most of us define it.  It is life measured by moments.

In particular I love the lyrics of this song because it describes how I must live my life these days.  “In daylights.  In midnights.  In sunsets.  In cups of coffee . . . ”  You can see that I live my life by the task, not necessarily complete activities.  For example the walk I am grateful to have taken with my beloved and our pup this evening required a standing rest break for some noxious symptoms.  We then proceeded home at a slower pace and with me dragging myself along with a somewhat altered gait.  Sish.  Can’t a girl get a break?  I’d love to get back into exercising regularly; I am grateful for a few minutes that the Lord has granted here and there late at night when I’m more stable.  That’s what I mean by tasks.  I guess that’s all I can do right now are some tasks with a few modified activities in the mix.  It’s a different kind of measure of “doing.”

So if this moment is all I have with you Gentle Reader, I invite you to take 3 minutes to watch the You Tube video.  Think about your day today as you hum along or maybe consider the one you anticipate tomorrow with a new perspective:   a different kind of measure.  And if at all possible I do hope you will measure it in love, treasuring the love relationships in your life above all else.  If you should choose to include a personal relationship with God in that collection, perhaps putting Him in His rightful place above all the rest then I assure you that the abundance of love that will return to you will be immeasurable.  Seriously.  He is infinite so His love cannot be measured!  I tell you that His love makes a difference for me on a Sunday night like this.  I pray that His love will make a difference for you too in this moment and all the rest to come.  :J