A Tapestry, A Weaving
Tag: God
So much to consider
So we come to a crossroads, my beloved and I
From where will we go from here to continue my care?
No cure hath cometh from a year of killer drugs within
Five years of tortuous suffering with costs beyond compare.
We don’t know why the trauma continues to this day
Whether it will continue or end? There are no promises
That when we show up in this life that all will be grand
But shunting the yearn for heaven my dear, the treats beyond.
Today I am tired but stable, weak but reflective
Grateful for so much while I ponder theses woes . . .
My beloved is sweeter than honey
His warmth a comfort to my hol-ey bones
He loves me deeply still; I see it every day
And life’s sweetest: love from this man I have come to know.
Alas I search the scripture and find that even Job
Needed to trust in the Lord not knowing why
His suffering exceeded the faith of his friends, his kin
When all was really a battle within the spiritual realm
Having very little to do with his past, to do with him.
So in the seasoning of the late missionary, Helen Roseveare
“Can you thank me for trusting you with this experience
Even if I never tell you why?” God asked of her in the midst of terror.
“He doesn’t have to tell us why,” she would learn
“But He often does in His gracious, loving mercy,” for sure.
So I will seek the perspective of the privilege
It is to be used in this life by the Lord almighty
Relinquish my frame to His plan and outrageous love
Then wait and see: He is worthy. My response: humility.
JJ
Hydration is Key
Hydration is key in health and down to the other
It makes everything better from one end to the other.
When I thought a drug might be my saving grace
I found that it was water that was my Lord’s gift of grace.
In 3 days and 2 nights 4,000 ml ran through my veins
In addition to many drugs in my tummy not my veins.
There was sparing of upsets from what I could not tolerate before
That number of drugs with Pepcid became my friend now like never b—–.
My Lord knew then showed my naturopathic Doc a few days later
That I would need to push fluids like never before for now and onto “later.”
So Smart Water and minerals in our Big Berkey will be my constant friend
When isolation of this Shingled hell keeps me from family and friends.
The Lord makes up the difference (as He always has) and grants me sleep
These last few days have been for rest and recovery and the deepest of sleep —
“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…”
Hamlet does question if even death will bring dreams that will prevent peace when it comes.
But he is wrong for peace is granted here and now for those who believe no matter what may
For those who believe in the Lord who conquered death and knows the beginning from what may.
So once again, a thousand times I shall again proclaim
Alone in my Jesus I will drink the victory only He can proclaim!
************
If you are struggling this night, Gentle Reader, please hang in there. Let me know your needs and I promise to pray as I lay your alms before our mighty Lord of Lords. He cares for you, He cares for me. And Lord willing, we are going to get well sometime between now and the day of His return. Oh how I do hope you know Him this way? JJ
Uplift Thy Mood with These
Things come into focus
The recipe just wouldn’t do: this brew concocted for my veins
I winced in shock when I saw the potential for disaster next week
And made the call to express my concerns, my fears in shaky voice.
The Assistant was gracious, no complaints there but what about him
Whom had not been available yet directs my care via messaging
And has way too many details engaged to respond to my simple needs?
Just to stop the seizures and minimize the suffering is all I really want
But that is the golden coin just beyond my reach now matter how long
And how far, how often, how many, how little, how far-reaching the attempts have been.
You’d think after nearly 5 years since this hell on earth began in my tender frame
That one of these brilliant folk would have figured it out by now, but NO(!), longer I wait —
And believe me I have tried, have prayed, have laid down my sword along the way too.
Nothing of note has come to pass although the hell is generally shorter and less robust
I still live in impending doom every day, still waiting for the spike that rocks my world
And consumes me as much as it frustrates; I hold on to the moments in time I have here or there.
Someday this suffering will be over, I am assured since it was not always here
My Lord, my Savior is coming back for me and His to make all things new and right
And that includes an end to my daily trials: oh how sweet that day will be, maybe soon!
Until then Gentle Reader, say your truth whilst asking for what you need
Let those in the know hear you and stick with those who bother to care
And one day soon, the focus will be on something else than your strife, my dear, guaranteed, guaranteed. JJ
Jesus is for the Wounded 
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