Christian – Page 39 – Jesus is for the Wounded

They came, they went, and life goes on

Published on February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Here is the reason that living in the moment is so very important: the good ones soften the others!

I am so grateful for the first meeting of our church home group that met this evening. Steve and I volunteered to host a group to try to break up the isolation that I have experienced since becoming more homebound these past two years. Sometime in the early Spring of last year I made the difficult decision to stop attending worship services because the building is water-damaged (WDB). Every time I was inside the structure for Sunday worship or an event, I paid dearly with violent seizure attacks. The kind that are triggered by mold ramp up quickly. Most of the time I was barely able to make it back to our car before the shaking began and it quickly became convulsions one seated inside. A perfect electrical storm let loose inside my head. Gratefully they did not last for more than 30 minutes most of the time. However afterwards I was beat up with a sharp headache, profound fatigue, ringing in my ears, increased upper body pain, and emotional devastation for hours thereafter. To suffer like that was not what the Lord has called me to do . . .

Thus began my practice of listening to our pastor’s messages at home on the internet. Thus became me living my Christian fellowship through Steve as he would attend two services per week in addition to the men’s prayer breakfast on Saturday. He came home each of these days and shared a detailed review of Pastor Paul’s verse-by-verse teaching of the Old and New Testaments in addition to updates on our church family members. I felt humbled and sad when he would tell me of individuals who had asked about me. This was a mixed blessing. I appreciate others asking and praying for me. Rarely did anyone contact me thereafter. Such is the nature of things in contemporary America.

One couple couldn’t make the meeting tonight as the wife was having medical tests and likely being admitted to the hospital. Yipes! We prayed for Ellen and hope that she recovers soon. Our group was small yet the fellowship was rich. I stressed about getting everything ready before 7:00 p.m. as my medical-day ended at 5:20 p.m. That barely left enough time to shower, clean, and prepare snacks before my husband came home. Everything came together shortly after our guests arrived; it always does. Our group conversation was meaningful and even personal for our first time together, discussing John 18 that was preached this past Sunday. Before we knew it the evening was over. Before I knew it the evening noxious episode that awaits me around 10:00 p.m. was set to begin, following me late into the night.

And so it goes. Life goes on. Now I’m awake at 4:00 a.m. recapping the night: at least once per month I’ll get to break bread with my brothers and sisters in Christ during our home group. This is good. I am glad and it was worth the wait. :J

My Story in Brief

Published on January 18, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Here’s a brief overview of my wacky journey to date, written for another blogger. I’m hanging tough as this time of illness continues, leaning on the Lord and witnessing His grace in my life every day. I have so much for which to be grateful! You too? :J

First Name: Julie
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Where do you live? Fort Wayne, Indiana

When/Where do you suspect that you contracted Lyme? My doctor suggested it as a possibility in January of 2012. He’s a family practice physician and chiropractor.

When did you first begin to feel ill or start to notice strange symptoms? I have had fibromyalgia since 1992 in addition to some thyroid and female/hormonal issues. Regardless, I was the fittest I had ever been in my life when I became extremely ill with viral hepatitis in October of 2011, after kayaking in a local reservoir. When was unable to recover as time passed, my LLMD suggested underlying Lyme and that I read about mold illness too.

What were they? The worst symptoms included: ongoing nausea, increased muscle pain and headaches, decreased activity tolerance, worsened ringing in my ears, back pain, lightheadedness, extreme fatigue, fractionated sleep, and genital, stomach, and dental pain.

How many doctors did you see before reaching an accurate diagnosis? If you start from the fibromyalgia diagnosis in 1992, the number would be around 60 including chiropractors and a naturopathic physician. If you start with October of 2011, it would be 2: the emergency room NP and my LLMD.

Were you misdiagnosed with anything prior to being diagnosed with Lyme? If so, what? It’s unclear if the myriad of health issues over the past two decades are related to Lyme Disease or not. I started treating for Lyme (first with antibiotics then a Rife machine; supplements too) after confirmation of the diagnosis from biomeridian or electro-dermal testing in January of 2012. A year later we discovered that we had mold in our home and remediated our entire home. I had a significant history of mold exposure in a work setting about 6 years earlier and a genetic disposition that favored mold illness more than Lyme disease. Another year later and currently, a systemic yeast infection (level 3 of 4 levels) has taken center stage in my course of treatment. The treatment of Candida has been as difficult as that for Lyme or mold!

What are the main symptoms that you experience currently? Virtually every day I feel like I have the flu, experience muscle and joint pain, endure headaches/neck headaches, and battle weakness and fatigue. The other symptoms noted above persist as well.

The WORST SYMPTOM by far is that of seizure-like episodes! The first episode happened one month after the onset of viral hepatitis. Then I had no episodes until I began treating for Lyme disease with the Rife machine and after the initial trial course of 5 weeks of antibiotics. Seizure attack episodes thus began around April of 2012 and have gradually worsened since then: generally up to 4 hours per day! If I did not have a personal relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ, I would not be able to endure this personal hell.

What does your treatment regimen look like? I can no longer tolerate virtually all of the supplements or compounded medications for Lyme or mold illness without the seizure attacks escalating into convulsions! I have maintained an increasingly and very strict Candida and mold-free diet for the past year. Treatment focuses on Candida (rotating anti-fungal meds. & supplements as tolerated); I am no longer able to tolerate the compounded medications of Dr. Shoemaker’s protocol for Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (www.survivingmold.com)

How much do your symptoms prevent you from living a normal life? My life is severely restricted to chemical/fragrance-and-mold-free environments and settings void of loud music and bright lights. I have not attended our church in about 8 months as it is a water-damaged building. Physical deconditioning restricts former activities including kayaking, bicycling, walking and gardening. I am grateful for the occasional exceptions and was able to maintain some raised bed gardens this past year. Yeah God! Travelling is particularly difficult and severely exacerbates seizure attack episodes no matter what precautions we try! After 30 years as an occupational therapist, including adapting my career with various events of my life, I have not been able to work in 2 years. I miss working!

What do you like to do in your free time and how is this different than before you were sick? As tolerated, I blog in the middle of the night at: http://www.justjuliewrites.com on topics incorporating my faith in God and hoping to encourage others with my story of recovery from chronic illness. I am grateful to have published an eBook this past October entitled: Hope Beyond Lyme: The First Year In August of 2012, I started making macramé hemp jewelry to keep myself sane; today I am grateful to offer jewelry from two missionary organizations helping families at risk. A donation will be made to Ianna House (a residence for persons with Lyme Disease) for all Lyme disease awareness items purchased at: Trinity Jewelry by Design.

What do you want people to know about Lyme? Examine carefully and journal your symptoms (response to treatment, etc.), do online research especially at http://www.ilads.org including vector-borne co-infections, join online Lyme forums, do IGenex testing (www.igenex.com), find an experienced Lyme AND mold literate physician (s), and consider several treatment options as you begin this long journey to healing.

What are you most thankful to have gained, or what important lessons have you learned, from your experience with Lyme? I don’t know how anyone can recover from this difficult illness without two things: 1) the love, care, and support of other people in your life and 2) faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ who loves you, sees your suffering, grieves with you, and will carry you through the ups and downs of this difficult journey. He is our true source of hope! When struggling with hours of seizures at night, He meets me there every time and comforts my weary heart, my weary soul, my weary frame. Sharing my faith with you is my reassurance that this experience won’t be wasted! I welcome your thoughts and would love to meet you, Gentle Reader, through my blog (www.justjuliewrites.com) or on Facebook at: Hope Beyond Lyme. Take care, Julie

Lost in Space

Published on December 20, 2013December 20, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Today was a better day. I almost don’t know what to do with myself! I slept a total of 13 hours: slowly moving through the motions of self care then made my way to the kitchen. Five hours later I emerged having made dinner, homemade granola, no-bake cookies, bone broth, and roasted parsnips. What the heck happened?

Who knows? Maybe I don’t need to know. I still had some rough moments this morning with feelings of sickness on and off. But this is the first evening in many weeks when I have not had a major seizure attack episode for 1-3 hours before midnight. Thank you Lord!

Tomorrow will be filled with appointments outside our home and we’ll see how that goes. I kinda think that reducing my stress level was the right thing to do today, letting my energy level dictate what I would do rather than my calendar. So as I go to bed I am massively humbled and a little lost. Gee. A better day happened to me!

Tee hee! Goodnight all. JJ

Between a rock and a hard place

Published on November 24, 2013November 24, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Sometimes you have to make a choice. You are at a dead end or maybe lost. Perhaps what worked in the past will no longer suffice. Or perhaps you are facing the most difficult reason: an external force requires you to act immediately. Regardless, the process goes more gently when covered in prayer to the One who sees you and your situation, cares for you, knows your heart and heartache, and has a plan an purpose for your life. That plan and purpose includes the crossroads in which you find yourself. Stepping forward into the arms of the loving and perfect Father through a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ, will carry you through the decision every time. He already knows, sees . . .

Gratefully I don’t have to stress very long these days before I’m at the throne of grace with my alms of concern. I understand that it blesses the Lord to come before Him with all things big and small; such a mystery of His amazing grace. This week had them both for me.

Big decision: sell the Beam Ray/Rife machine in which Steve and I invested so much hope and resources just 1-1/2 years ago. It’s not working for me and I cannot tolerate most of the frequencies anymore. Time to let it go and move on.

Small decision: relinquish my cheaper cell phone with a slider keyboard for a smartphone. We will benefit from having it on the road when travelling and it will expand my online business possibilities. Time to let go and move forward.

Big decision: place active Lyme and mold treatments on hold to eradicate a serious systemic yeast infection. This requires risking more noxious events to kill the fungus that is hurting me and may even be contributing to the seizure attacks, etc. I seek wisdom in the timing of all of this with the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Alas, it is time to let go of the time table and move ahead carefully.

Small decision: discontinue the IV magnesium treatments at number 28 because the symptomatic “cost-benefit analysis” don’t compute anymore. Sometimes you simply have to choose.

Medium decision: sold my (beginning) surf ski kayak called a Stellar SR. This one brought tears. This illness has challenged my fitness and balance skills making the mastery of paddling this specialty kayak quite difficult. Steve just sold a kayak as well so we likely will invest in a solo outrigger canoe and share it. These are awesomely cool, fast paddling boats that just might work with either kayak or canoe paddles. Yeah but I let go of the SR before ever mastering it. I got sick after paddling it October 11, 2011: my third time on the water with it. Seeing it go on a rainy afternoon was a gray reminder of the past 2 years of illness and brought up feelings of failure. Sish, maybe this was a bigger decision than I thought. The tears are making it hard to see the computer screen right now . . .

I think tomorrow will be a retreat day. Steve and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary and perhaps something simple will be nice this time. One of the best decisions of my life was to move out of State to marry Steve 6 years ago. Ahhh my intended beloved. How the Lord has blessed me with a man after His own heart as you! However we choose to spend our time together, I am sure that it will be wonderful.

O.k. so I just went from tears to blushing. Allow me to send you off with a prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for seeing and hearing the hearts of Your children each day. Help us to reach for the shadow of Your wings to carry us when we cannot stand, to shelter us when we must wait on your Divine hand in our lives, to lift us when it is time to step out in faith once again. If it is Your will I ask for healing for me from this complicated mix of illness and for the Gentle Reader finding you this day whilst reading this blog. Cover us with Your healing grace and merciful love. Guide us in our decisions for your glory Lord. And help us to keep our eyes fixed on You, waiting with great expectation for Your Providence to unfold. I love you Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Giving Thanks

Published on November 15, 2013November 15, 2013 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

Thanksgiving is just around the corner in the United States: Thursday, November 28th. I’m getting into the mindset a little early this year, to help keep my mind and heart in the right place. What better place to learn about gratitude than from The Word itself. Reflect along with me, won’t you?

1 Thessalonians 5:18

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁸in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Colossians 3:16

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.