gallows humor – Jesus is for the Wounded

The County Sheriff and a mobile compost pile

Published on February 19, 2016February 19, 2016 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Sometimes the dirt in your life follows you around for awhile . . . literally!

The weather was unusually warm here in the Midwest of the United States this past December. By “warm” I mean that it was still in the 50’s and that was all I needed to do a little gardening project still left undone from the prior season. Factor in the heartache of having been too sick to do it earlier, you can see why I jumped at the chance to get some dirt under my fingernails before the snow was set to fly!

And so I did. The borders around the flower beds and tree in our front yard were re-cut and tidied up for the wintry freeze to follow. A Master Gardener simply cannot have her front yard unkempt when visitors were set to come for Christmas celebrations . . . even if they are not into landscaping! Afterwards I felt a little better about the whole thingy. The cuttings went into the bed of my truck like they always do with the intent of making a quick trip to dump it at the town compost pile. That never happened. Such a bummer being sick virtually all of the time . . .

Flash forward two months. I was headed in my truck to my doctor’s office, hoping that they would see me on time. Usually we patients can call ahead to see how far he is running behind and to leave our phone number for a call when they have an exam room available for us. The phone lines were either turned off or unanswered when I had tried to call so I hurried to get on my way, lest I lose my appointment altogether! This arrangement is a minor inconvenience for most folks but a major undertaking for me these days. I had a more severe seizure attack waking up that morning and barely had enough time to get ready, grab some of my special food for the day (these appointments require 3+ hours plus I had an IV treatment at the hospital next door for another 4 hours later on), and focus enough to get myself out the door. Maybe I should have had Steve drive me to the appointment?

Clearly I was a little distracted. The purpose of the appointment was to re-evaluate the first month of IV treatments for Lyme disease. I had first treated Lyme disease 4 years ago and it was a disaster; the next 4 years were spent taking down other infections and toxicities to get ready for intense treatment of Lyme that likely had been underlying ongoing health issues for a very long time. The process has been most difficult. I would learn in this appointment that the burning in my forearms that occurred during the past 5 infusions of the antibiotic (Rocephin) had caused superficial phlebitis! All I knew is that they hurt. More treatment recommendations would follow to add to my already complex treatment regime. Everything came clearly into focus when I saw that beige-n-brown Dodge Charger sitting alongside Auburn Road.

As soon as I saw him I knew that I was in trouble. That’s the color of the County Sheriff vehicles and I was traveling 14 miles per hour over the speed limit! I thought I was only 9 MPH but unfortunately I did not see the traffic sign until my trip home! He followed me for a block or so before turning on his flashing lights. I sat stunned by the side of the road. The Sheriff turned out to be friendly young lad, albeit dressed in his intimidating finery. He recognized my last name and asked if I knew someone that he did by that name in another town? Nope. I could hardly speak. “May I call my Doctor’s office? I am running late for an appointment,” I asked. “Sure,” he replied as he took my ID cards and walked back to his beast on wheels. If he was friendly did that mean that he would have mercy on my story and not give me a ticket?

Nope again. The “icy” conditions warranted a citation. He spouted off more instructions than I could understand then left me with a cheap ticker-tape style TICKET. All I could do was pull over onto a local street to gather myself to figure out what to do next. The Doctor’s office finally answered their phone, apologized for not picking up earlier as they were short-staffed and stated that the Doc was running 1 1/2 hours behind schedule (as usual!). “Would I like to leave my phone number for a call when they were ready?” Sure, no problem I thought to myself . . .

Somehow I managed to contact my hubby at work and return home. The struggle to leave the house earlier that morning resulted in a very expensive speeding ticket with funds earmarked for adjunct treatments not the county coffers. I was upset at myself and upset at this wretched illness. I was guilty of speeding. I had not even looked down to see how fast I was travelling. Driving a truck makes you a little over-confident in inclement weather and that false sense of security had caught up with me. Gee, did he also notice that I still have a quarter of the bed of my truck filled with dirt, plants, and sod pieces in the middle of winter? Perhaps not. The pile has already begun composting into a fertile loam on sunny days! They should make a nice, top-dressing the vegetable bed by Spring! Maybe I’ll just leave it in there?

Sigh. Life goes on and sometimes the State trooper is the one to remind me of this. Regardless, if it really does get to 57 degrees tomorrow (on February 19th!) I will be digging some, Lord willing. There’s much to do and the IV treatments are helping me feel some better. Besides, I have a lot more room in the bed of my truck that needs to be filled dontcha know? You can never have too much of that “black gold” stuff anyways. :JJ

compost, gardening, truck, Nissan Frontier, garden, load, dirt, — How the professionals load compost!

The Price of Admission

Published on January 16, 2016January 16, 2016 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Garfield2016-01-15

Garfield tells it like it is and that is the way I like life to be as well . . . No pretense here, ever! He must be chemically sensitive too? I digress . . .

To get well from a serious illness, one consistently pursues recovery as if he or she is on a journey, not sprinting as if in a race. My journey of late has included a trial of molecular hydrogen, nebulizing sea water to ease a chronic sinus infection, and experimenting with a Glutamate-Aspartate Restricted Diet (GARD). Yeah it’s never just one thingy with me!

Some additional research and a consultation with my Doc suggested a link between the GARD, sinusitis, and latent Lyme disease that might be addressed with a course of antibiotic treatment. Yes, IV or IM Rocephin may address all three. Rat studies have shown that Rocephin can lower glutamate levels thus helping to raise seizure threshold. Since I am a card-carrying lab rat anyways it seemed logical to go for a trial of antibiotics for a week then re-evaluate my tolerance for it during my next Doc appointment in 7 days. Very likely the treatment will continue for several weeks. Today was treatment day #1.

I began this process pressing forth to complete a lab test beforehand so as not to skew the results with the upcoming antibiotic. The preparation required a restricted diet of only 2 foods for 24 hours, fasting, and some stressful sampling procedures all ending just one hour before the first IV treatment at the hospital. The Lord sustained me as I assembled the kit and wolfed down a supremo salad that I had prepared the night before. I left our home shortly after the FedEx truck picked up the completed test kit while giving our dog something to bark, bark, bark about. The wings of my Savior, Jesus Christ carried me to the hospital on just 3 1/2 hours of sleep: less nervous and ready to blast the heck out of whatever might be keeping me sick. Let’s do this!

Not so fast though! Just before heading into the Outpatient Clinic I had a violent expulsion of stool! Whaaaaat? Good golly! Looks like the Lactulose test prep was taking effect all at once! Now what should I do? I was soiled through all of the layers of clothing I had worn to keep warm. Fortunately this all happened in a hospital where they have linens and hospital scrubs available. Alright so I cleaned up, put on the call light, confided my plight to one of the nurses, changed my fashion motif a bit, and returned to my chaise lounger a little wet, a little shook up from everything. let’s do this?

The biggest hurdle for me in receiving the 50+ IV treatments and 50+ lab draws I’ve had these past 4 years has always been the needle stick procedure. Virtually every time a needle either goes in or out it triggers massive convulsive episodes. Fortunately Jennifer, the RN, has more tricks for poking rolling, spindly veins than anyone I have ever seen for care. The first stick failed resulting in the usual shakes and shouts. So we just waited until my world calmed down and I got a few more moments of the best distraction ever under my belt: HGTV on the little swing-away monitor at my station! Watching Island Hunters and the like has saved me from tears many times for sure. (Such a treat! We don’t have cable service at home.)

Gratefully the second stick was successful. Gratefully there were no ill effects during the infusion just fatigue. Gratefully I was able to run an errand to the meat market secretly in wet jeans underneath my scrubs before returning home. Gratefully the nap came easily after showering and without seizure attacks. The hell returned later in the evening but overall I got away with at least one fewer episode today. God is good. He carries me through so much!

I ask the Lord often why things always have to be so difficult for me? I really don’t get any answers other than to know that He sees my suffering and promises to love me through it all. That love is tangible in the graciousness of my beloved husband, Steve, who listens to my stories and sees me through the roughness that characterizes some part of every day. Perhaps someday I will get to see why the “price of admission” for me to get through my life has been so devastatingly high. This stuff ain’t for wimps ya know! In the meantime I will carefully wrap the IV in my arm before showering, clean myself up, run more loads of laundry, and shed some tears along the way. I am not alone and know what to do. I have been through IV treatments before and so have many of my fellow sojourners. We can do this!

At least now there is fresh bacon in the house. And that Gentle Reader is a mighty good thingy! I am sure Garfield would agree! JJ

Can we talk here?

Published on October 28, 2015October 28, 2015 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

One of the most hilarious comedians in my humble opinion was Joan Rivers. I got to see her live in Las Vegas many years ago and many of her skits are still fresh in my mind. She would blurt out under her breath, “Can we talk here?” just as she was about to dish the dirt on a celebrity or delve into the hairy details of a sensitive topic. While in more recent years I became a fan of Christian comedienne Chonda Pierce more than Ms. Rivers yet I will always remember this phrase, drawing me close, now drawing you close as well.

Can we talk about the bowel? I have become more acquainted with this topic than I really should at my age! Usually a discussion of bowel habits marks the conversation of persons over the age of 65 and especially those over 85. I know this. I have worked with thousands of seniors as an occupational therapist. Improving independence in the skills required in toileting is one of our areas of expertise. Need a raised toilet seat? Secure handhold when transferring onto the commode? Yeah, that usually triggered additional self-disclosure from my client on his or her last BM which went beyond my area of expertise! (For more on toileting accessibility, see Part 1 and Part 2 in my professional website, Two Step Solutions.) Older adults often talk openly about their bodies in such an intimate setting you know.

From all of this I was determined NOT to talk about such matters . . . until today. So let’s get to it. The bottom line is that gut motility is a natural body function for all of us, right? Soooo, I ended up in the Emergency Room this past weekend for abdominal pain and back pain. Both exacerbated the daily convulsive episodes such that I could not bear to be me anymore! The staff of the Regional Medical Center administered IV fluids and a battery of tests resulting in the seizures and back pain diminishing while the abdominal pain continued. Flash forward to Monday afternoon and a call to my Primary Physician’s office. Unfortunately I soon discovered that he was to be out of town on a family emergency for the entire week! I prayed for him and then I prayed for me. What should I do now? The tummy pain was continuing.

By the grace of God and by phone, my incredible family doctor was able to figure out what to do and recommend treatment. The CT scan had shown a severe bowel obstruction (B.O.) but the ER Doc never told me about it! Imagine that! I was admitted to the emergency department with the primary complaint of abdominal pain and no one bothered to tell me the findings clearly stated on the CT report. Geez! I have no idea how the “B.O.” came about (little humor here folks!) but today I am grateful for an amazing Doc and phone nurse willing to get medical records and review my case with him when I was unsuccessful. The treatment worked! Geez again! And in the process I was introduced to an unsweetened form of a supplement that I believe I can use on an ongoing basis; I have battled for 4 years finding magnesium that I could tolerate; magnesium is critical to my recovery.

I hear-by recommend Natural CALM! You will now find an unsweetened version of both Natural CALM and Lily of the Desert Aloe Vera Juice in my list of Julie’s Favorites at the end of this webpage.

I am so glad that we can talk here! I know that this topic will touch the life of someone out there so I am not ashamed to mention it today. Here is my takeway message this afternoon:

If you feel like you are going crazy, you are not. It is just a feeling. Try something new. Get help and stay engaged in the process until you find an answer.

Don’t be afraid to politely ask for help even when others are busy. Often the busiest person, if they agree to help you, will be the best person to get the job done.

Always say “thank you.”

Keep your bowels moving. Keep your body moving. Keep your mind moving forward. Keep your eyes fixed on Christ. Keep tough . . . you are not alone!

That’s it Gentle Reader. Feel free to pass a link of this post onto someone who might need it. Young and old, I am so glad that we can talk about it here . . . :JJ

Who will carry me?

Published on June 29, 2015June 29, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

It’s easy to bemoan the slide of morality in the United States recently escalated by the legalization of gay marriage. What is natural to the human body has now been publicly adulterated by the unnatural. The institution of marriage, which was created by God, has been changed by a few willful and unlawful men who did not even create the institution of marriage. Alas another door has opened in our lives that will ultimately hurt everyone when his or her rainbow-colored eyes finally open to see it. But most of us will never see the damage coming until it is too late . . .

When the truth, the pain of what we have done to ourselves is revealed, we will mourn. Others will mourn the horror of what our complacency, our tolerance has produced. Further, things will go horribly wrong even for those who believe that free living is right: things that they could only imagine in a sex-slave murder mystery will come into their reality and hurt them too. And those of us who have attempted to shine a light or sound an alarm on the moral decline will realize that what we have tried to do could never be enough to change unbridled evil. Eventually, we all will grieve but for very different reasons.

So who will carry all of our tears? Who will carry your grief and mine? “Who” indeed.

boy and wheelbarrow, trees down, storm damage, carry, wheelbarrow, burdens, Lord carried me, Lord carried me, Footprints in the Sand — Chad Ryan | The Journal Gazette
Five-year old Braxton Davis joined the work crew 6.27.15 at Opechee Way and Nokomis Road, using his toy wheel barrow to remove leaves after a large tree fell in the front yard of his house at the Indian Village intersection.

The cute picture above denotes how we have trivialized the important issues of our day. The picture above denotes how we have traded our core values and beliefs for a picture of life that feels good in the moment. We have minimized the significance, the impact that our actions, our public statements, our private thoughts, the work of our hands can truly have in the larger picture of life. These are not a small issues. Eventually the magnitude and truth of who we are is always revealed. Eventually a tiny wheel barrow carried by a child that is supposed to help us feel good about hundreds of thousands of dollars of storm damage will be crushed by the tsunami of horror headed our way. Our world will never be the same for you and me beginning the events of June 26, 2015.

We cannot fix this. No one individual, you or me, can carry us through to a better future. No one: no President, no preacher, no crafty writer, no partner, no one can fix what is coming for us or carry our wheelbarrow of tears. We are alone to face the consequences of these actions. If we want the pain, the grief to stop then we will have to take our sorrow somewhere many of us have never gone before . . . But where?

We understand the dilemma inside our own home too, in another way. Last night was hell for me and Steve. In the middle of 3 1/2 hours of continuous convulsive episodes, I struggled to squeak out a request for him to carry me to the bathroom. I was also in the middle of a 24-hour urine hormone test procedure so imagine my shame in trying to figure out what to do when my hands or legs were not working right. Neurological collapse had settled in. Gratefully as soon as he got me upright and helped me with a sip of water, I could use my hands well enough to position the urine cup myself when sitting on the toilet. I was able to get the sample and dump it into the collection receptacle resting in the bottom of the tub next to the toilet. Steve then helped me back to bed just in time for the next round of head-banging, wailing, tears, and terrible pain. And so it went for the sixth night in a row.

I am grateful that when Steve is home, he is very capable of carrying me. He has done so a hundred times. He has held me through the ugliest of moments, fed me, clothed me, prayed, and artfully let his deft gallows humor fly at just the right moment in time when we both needed it! Then there were the thousands of times when he was not there and I still needed help. I needed to get to the bathroom but my legs would not move. My throat was parched from cries of sheer angst, hyperventilation, sweats episodes, and chronic dehydration. I wondered if my next breath would arrive or not. My tummy growled for hours and I could do nothing to satisfy the hunger. My brain became too numb to figure out what was in my ability to do or not anyways. Oh the neck pain from the seizing! Fearful thoughts, not my own, pushed into my mind by force of some electrical misfiring that goes with seizure activity. And I cried deeply, feeling alone.

In those moments, Jesus Christ carries me (John 16:32). I am not alone! Jesus Christ carries and equips Steve over and over again for the tasks at hand in our marriage (1 Peter 4:10). Jesus Christ will also carry those who do not know him whenever, wherever they finally reach out for help (Psalm 10:17). Our God, Jesus Christ, is worthy of our reach since He created us out of love: shown to all as He grieved bloody tears for our sorrow, our pain (John 11:35) that we endure in this life. He existed before the time, space, and material that characterizes our lives (John 1:1-4) and is the very reason that we are here. He loves us more than we can ever imagine and is always here for us, no matter what is going on around us (or within us!) (Matthew 28:20).

Further, we can never say that what freedoms we want, doubts we have about our lives, or the philosophy in our own minds will have anything to do with Who God is. God, the triune Holy Spirit, Father, and Son (Jesus Christ), is separate from mankind and is not subject to the constraints of this earthly life. Our ideas simply cannot match up. We will never fully understand Who He is with our finite minds so rejecting Him won’t get you anywhere worthwhile. The answer to our questions, our unmet needs in life is belief.

Because we are finite, we must place our belief in that which is infinite: true yesterday, today and tomorrow. The only entity that is infinite is God. He never changes. He is perfect, all-knowing and we are not. We can reach out to Him in with our tears, know that He cares (Psalm 139:17-18), know that He has our back (Jeremiah 29:11), and live on with hope for tomorrow amidst our trials, our heartache. It follows then that our victory over the heartaches of this life is in Christ alone: the Son of God. Jesus Christ, manifest in His Word (the Bible), reflected in His creation, and felt through the longing inside our hearts, is not bound by our limited view of the world. Jesus transcended this life when He died on the cross and rose from the dead. Jesus Christ will “carry” each of us through the mysteries of life to a better place when we place our trust in Him (John 3:16).

Our Lord Jesus Christ made the difference for me and Steve last night and a hundred other horrible nights. Jesus Christ will make the difference for you too in everything, Gentle Reader, whether you choose to believe in Him now or at another time. But why wait? Why not enjoy His transcendent peace, love, joy, hope, and more right now?

For the believer in Jesus Christ, it doesn’t really matter for our future, what is going on around us in the world right now. We will live infinitely longer in heaven with God than the time it takes to complain about a Supreme Court decision. Join me in doing what we can to love people, all people. Reaffirm in our minds that we ultimately place our trust in only one place: the Person of Jesus Christ. He is the One Who matters most. He is the One who will carry us from here into our blessed eternity with Him. And that is a celebration worth waiting talking about!

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. ¹⁸They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” ¹⁹These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

²⁰But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. (Jude 17-21)

The Lord is the one who carries me for sure. What do you say we go together?

With love, JJ