Caregiving – Page 3 – Jesus is for the Wounded

Who will carry me?

Published on June 29, 2015June 29, 2015 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

It’s easy to bemoan the slide of morality in the United States recently escalated by the legalization of gay marriage. What is natural to the human body has now been publicly adulterated by the unnatural. The institution of marriage, which was created by God, has been changed by a few willful and unlawful men who did not even create the institution of marriage. Alas another door has opened in our lives that will ultimately hurt everyone when his or her rainbow-colored eyes finally open to see it. But most of us will never see the damage coming until it is too late . . .

When the truth, the pain of what we have done to ourselves is revealed, we will mourn. Others will mourn the horror of what our complacency, our tolerance has produced. Further, things will go horribly wrong even for those who believe that free living is right: things that they could only imagine in a sex-slave murder mystery will come into their reality and hurt them too. And those of us who have attempted to shine a light or sound an alarm on the moral decline will realize that what we have tried to do could never be enough to change unbridled evil. Eventually, we all will grieve but for very different reasons.

So who will carry all of our tears? Who will carry your grief and mine? “Who” indeed.

boy and wheelbarrow, trees down, storm damage, carry, wheelbarrow, burdens, Lord carried me, Lord carried me, Footprints in the Sand — Chad Ryan | The Journal Gazette
Five-year old Braxton Davis joined the work crew 6.27.15 at Opechee Way and Nokomis Road, using his toy wheel barrow to remove leaves after a large tree fell in the front yard of his house at the Indian Village intersection.

The cute picture above denotes how we have trivialized the important issues of our day. The picture above denotes how we have traded our core values and beliefs for a picture of life that feels good in the moment. We have minimized the significance, the impact that our actions, our public statements, our private thoughts, the work of our hands can truly have in the larger picture of life. These are not a small issues. Eventually the magnitude and truth of who we are is always revealed. Eventually a tiny wheel barrow carried by a child that is supposed to help us feel good about hundreds of thousands of dollars of storm damage will be crushed by the tsunami of horror headed our way. Our world will never be the same for you and me beginning the events of June 26, 2015.

We cannot fix this. No one individual, you or me, can carry us through to a better future. No one: no President, no preacher, no crafty writer, no partner, no one can fix what is coming for us or carry our wheelbarrow of tears. We are alone to face the consequences of these actions. If we want the pain, the grief to stop then we will have to take our sorrow somewhere many of us have never gone before . . . But where?

We understand the dilemma inside our own home too, in another way. Last night was hell for me and Steve. In the middle of 3 1/2 hours of continuous convulsive episodes, I struggled to squeak out a request for him to carry me to the bathroom. I was also in the middle of a 24-hour urine hormone test procedure so imagine my shame in trying to figure out what to do when my hands or legs were not working right. Neurological collapse had settled in. Gratefully as soon as he got me upright and helped me with a sip of water, I could use my hands well enough to position the urine cup myself when sitting on the toilet. I was able to get the sample and dump it into the collection receptacle resting in the bottom of the tub next to the toilet. Steve then helped me back to bed just in time for the next round of head-banging, wailing, tears, and terrible pain. And so it went for the sixth night in a row.

I am grateful that when Steve is home, he is very capable of carrying me. He has done so a hundred times. He has held me through the ugliest of moments, fed me, clothed me, prayed, and artfully let his deft gallows humor fly at just the right moment in time when we both needed it! Then there were the thousands of times when he was not there and I still needed help. I needed to get to the bathroom but my legs would not move. My throat was parched from cries of sheer angst, hyperventilation, sweats episodes, and chronic dehydration. I wondered if my next breath would arrive or not. My tummy growled for hours and I could do nothing to satisfy the hunger. My brain became too numb to figure out what was in my ability to do or not anyways. Oh the neck pain from the seizing! Fearful thoughts, not my own, pushed into my mind by force of some electrical misfiring that goes with seizure activity. And I cried deeply, feeling alone.

In those moments, Jesus Christ carries me (John 16:32). I am not alone! Jesus Christ carries and equips Steve over and over again for the tasks at hand in our marriage (1 Peter 4:10). Jesus Christ will also carry those who do not know him whenever, wherever they finally reach out for help (Psalm 10:17). Our God, Jesus Christ, is worthy of our reach since He created us out of love: shown to all as He grieved bloody tears for our sorrow, our pain (John 11:35) that we endure in this life. He existed before the time, space, and material that characterizes our lives (John 1:1-4) and is the very reason that we are here. He loves us more than we can ever imagine and is always here for us, no matter what is going on around us (or within us!) (Matthew 28:20).

Further, we can never say that what freedoms we want, doubts we have about our lives, or the philosophy in our own minds will have anything to do with Who God is. God, the triune Holy Spirit, Father, and Son (Jesus Christ), is separate from mankind and is not subject to the constraints of this earthly life. Our ideas simply cannot match up. We will never fully understand Who He is with our finite minds so rejecting Him won’t get you anywhere worthwhile. The answer to our questions, our unmet needs in life is belief.

Because we are finite, we must place our belief in that which is infinite: true yesterday, today and tomorrow. The only entity that is infinite is God. He never changes. He is perfect, all-knowing and we are not. We can reach out to Him in with our tears, know that He cares (Psalm 139:17-18), know that He has our back (Jeremiah 29:11), and live on with hope for tomorrow amidst our trials, our heartache. It follows then that our victory over the heartaches of this life is in Christ alone: the Son of God. Jesus Christ, manifest in His Word (the Bible), reflected in His creation, and felt through the longing inside our hearts, is not bound by our limited view of the world. Jesus transcended this life when He died on the cross and rose from the dead. Jesus Christ will “carry” each of us through the mysteries of life to a better place when we place our trust in Him (John 3:16).

Our Lord Jesus Christ made the difference for me and Steve last night and a hundred other horrible nights. Jesus Christ will make the difference for you too in everything, Gentle Reader, whether you choose to believe in Him now or at another time. But why wait? Why not enjoy His transcendent peace, love, joy, hope, and more right now?

For the believer in Jesus Christ, it doesn’t really matter for our future, what is going on around us in the world right now. We will live infinitely longer in heaven with God than the time it takes to complain about a Supreme Court decision. Join me in doing what we can to love people, all people. Reaffirm in our minds that we ultimately place our trust in only one place: the Person of Jesus Christ. He is the One Who matters most. He is the One who will carry us from here into our blessed eternity with Him. And that is a celebration worth waiting talking about!

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. ¹⁸They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” ¹⁹These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

²⁰But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. (Jude 17-21)

The Lord is the one who carries me for sure. What do you say we go together?

With love, JJ

The moments that matter

Published on May 27, 2015 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

When things are not right or even worse

We cry out to the air and wonder, “who is there?”

“Can anyone hear me on my bed of sorrow?”

“How long will this go on, how long?”

Oh the angst for enduring what simply should not be . . .

I could bemoan much pain in my heart this day:

From my spirit through my tender frame.

But why? What will I gain by wallowing here?

As I listen to a friend who sounds like me over the waves,

I hear wisdom that comes with her years.

She doth declare that in her own time of prayer

The Lord spoke to her so gently.

In all of those times of suffering,

When surely no one cared He said,

“I was there with you.”

And her heart was full, no place untouched.

So today let’s heed this wisdom

Should we, too seek and hear His voice.

Don’t just want for the pain to end.

Reach into the moment to His love so grand.

Find people with mercy for the darkness of our lives

For we all have a burden to carry, each one.

And let us come together in prayer, in fellowship, in praise.

But most importantly

Kneel at the throne of grace often

In adoration of the Person who sees you always.

For Jesus loves you always.

And turn these into moments that matter for all time.

They will be sweet, and soften the burdens we will endure.

We can go on when held by His hand.

Yes, we can indeed.

A Pig for Sale

Published on August 21, 2014August 21, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Only in Indiana. Or maybe in any other State with farming. Well that would include all 50 States. I guess it’s just new to me . . .

The Facebook page for selling stuff in my town had a posting for a pig for sale: $300 for the live beast. I actually thought about it for a moment! The biggest issue would be finding a place to store all of that meat. Our lil’ freezer just ain’t big enough for my hubby’s ice cream and my bone broth in addition to a virtual bevvy of pork! Darn. I’ve been missing BBQ ribs for some time now!

I suppose that someone else with a chest or upright freezer will jump on the offer. Maybe our neighbor who bought our used freezer will find it in her budget to feast on Porky Pig for the rest of the year? Or maybe not. But if she invites us over for some Famous Dave-style ribs I am sure that we would oblige! We will even bring my Grandma’s famous potato salad. Yeah I won’t forget the horseradish, pickle relish, and bacon grease (aka “secret ingredients”)!

We live in a time where you can buy and sell just about anything. With the diversity of our world and our accessibility to most of it via the internet, we can get much of what we want for a price. Do you want someone to paint your business logo on his hairy belly and sing a song for you? Just check out the gigs on http://www.fiverr.com and it will be yours for the price of a latte’. My preference for that one would be “NOPE.” That is, in the physical realm. There are other realms for which I would need a song you know. And tonight my heart realm can’t buy me even a lullaby for peace of mind. My heart is breaking and there simply is not much I can do about it but pray.

My brother, Mike, whom everyone else calls Michael, continues to live in a wretched inner city nursing home after a serious stroke. He is four months post-CVA and three months enduring the “3 hots and a cot” provided by a one-star facility. I flipped when I found out that he had an infectious rash on his hemiplegic hand! I asked his fiancé and Mike to check for signs of bed bugs and call the State Ombudsman immediately if they found any signs of them. Mike’s roommate itches too. Hopefully it will be a case of an allergic reaction to the laundry detergent. But why would the bumps become infected? Good golly. Water (no juice, milk, or coffee) for breakfast, a delayed response for significantly elevated blood pressure, and no follow-up whatsoever on a 6 cm kidney tumor ARE ONLY THE FIRST THREE items in the long list of substandard care complaints. So sad.

Lisa, Mike’s precious fiancé, is at her wit’s end trying to get Veteran’s Administration or Medicaid benefits processed correctly to change his situation. She faithfully visits him when she can, brings him home-cooked food, and follows up the paperwork nightmare as Mike’s legal guardian. Just when I wonder if things moving forward fast enough or why she hasn’t returned my phone calls I find out that she has started a new job to try an better their overall situation. She is such a trooper. Thank the Lord for Lisa’s love and care for her Michael. And our cousin, Lisa, helps out where she can as well. Cousin Lisa is an optometrist for the nursing home and has more than once been able to positively influence his care by her presence, her visiting, her dipomacy, her support of fiancé Lisa. They are doing the best they can and that is both a gift and all I can ask from 200 miles away.

This is such a curious situation, you know. I am an occupational therapist with over 30 years of professional experience including patients with the very same medical condition as my brother. Yet due to a severe illness I am enduring, I cannot even visit him! The dirty conditions of his living environment would surely trigger seizure-like attacks for me. Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, or whatever you want to call this nightmare is keeping me from seeing my brother. And this is the Lord’s plan for both of us right now. I don’t understand it. My heart is hurting. I would be honored to work more closely with Mike, even provide supplemental therapy or visits. I cannot do it right now. Oh sure, I send him something in the mail occasionally or make a phone call to his facility and get placed on hold for a very, very long time before actually getting through to anyone less than 50% of the time. We are all doing what we can and waiting on the Lord. It’s just so very frustrating for each of us!

So if you’ve got an extra 300 bucks to donate to our cause, kindly send it to St. F—— Nursing Center in D—–, room 207. Leave the pig and get my brother out of there please! They might not notice Mike missing for awhile since a piece of meat is a piece of meat when you don’t care much for the sweet sense of humor that used to characterize my tall lanky sibling. Oh geez, I’m getting a little upset here aren’t I? Well at least the pig will stomach the food a little better without complaining. Like the Cheerio’s commercial said many decades ago, “he’ll eat anything! Hey Mikey!” Yeah but it won’t be Mikey. One day Mikey will be gone from the place he and his fiancé are calling, “the dump.” May the Lord pour out His grace on those left behind when he does go.

I just hope that moving day will be soon. O.k. I’m done venting. Gotta get back to praying. JJ

The Sister Bear Speaks

Published on April 26, 2014April 26, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded5 Comments

While my brother’s fiancé is there at the hospital with him in the thick of things, his next of kin is a bit upset. I am too upset to make any rational decisions. The feelings run deep with me. It’s all I could do to be polite on the phone today to the social worker from the rehabilitation unit where Mike is hospitalized. At least Steve and I have the weekend to sort things out . . .

Very likely Mike will get booted out of the hospital next week and sent to be housed in a nursing home without additional rehabilitation services. His insurance is “Medicaid Pending” and his requiring of 24-hour physical care post discharge, a situation that cannot be met at home for valid reasons, is pushing the hospital to discharge him from their care. I don’t get it. In my 30+ year career in rehabilitation as an occupational therapist, the discharge criteria virtually always hinged on a lack of progress, not the particulars of discharge planning. It’s a new day: a new reality. If you can’t do what the government-driven healthcare system wants you to do then I guess they can wash their hands of you.

Perhaps he will go to a nursing home or perhaps by some miracle the Veterans Administration (VA) will accept him on such short notice. If the decision is the former, he will be fed 3 meals per day, kept clean and dry, and left to sit slumped in an overstretched wheelchair or geri chair in front of an out-of-tune entertainer from the long term care circuit with a pair of maracas shoved into his functional hand. The wailing of the demented residents will woo him to sleep at night as he tosses on his waterproof mattress to get comfortable around the bedsores that no one will find until it is too late for healing. Thickened Pepsi to drink? Not a chance. At least until his fiancé cleans up her make-up from crying long enough to ignore the swale of urine stench long enough to bring it to him. God bless her faithfulness visiting every day through this incredibly stressful ordeal!

Or perhaps it won’t be that bad. Maybe he will get into a VA rehabilitation facility with little red tape and get stronger. Regardless, the hope of at least a few weeks of physical, occupational, and speech therapy has vanished for the time-being. And Michael has no idea yet, what is about to happen to him next week. I left a message for his saint of a fiancé and she has not gotten back to me yet. Maybe she is in as big of SHOCK as I am. Maybe she is exhausted and horrified from touring nursing homes closer to where they lived in the “thumb” area of Michigan. I don’t blame her for taking a little time for herself to sort things out. My heart goes out to Lisa. She has been through so much these past two weeks as her life has changed forever.

As for me, 200 miles to the south and struggling with four hours of seizure attacks multiple times per day, I am overwhelmed with the stress of it all. Just seeing the missing flooring in our bathroom from yet another mold remediation project is enough to stub my toe even when the light is on. Somehow I completed a few errands outside the home this afternoon and made a simple dinner. I talked to a few family members who offered mixed consolation while I was stepping on the elliptical for 20 minutes, phone in hand. Geez! I haven’t used that thing in a few weeks! I must be stressed out. Thank goodness the nightly seizure attack episodes haven’t fully ramped up yet tonight: I needed to talk to you, Gentle Reader! I started to type and there you were. Thanks so much for being here. I can barely speak I am so very upset.

*********************

Life goes on despite the drama of the moment. If Steve and I don’t impulsively drive 3 hours north to go to the hospital tomorrow and I’m stable enough, we will attend the 50th wedding anniversary open house of some friends. It will be good to enjoy some Christian fellowship. Then maybe my beloved Steve will start to work on the bathroom floor tile project and I’ll put together the jewelry orders that have been sitting at my work table this past week. Lord willing I’ll continue with the Spring clean-up of our gardens and Steve will mow the grass for the first time this year. Looks like the narcissus will be blooming within a day or two with their yellow-throated happy faces reaching up to soak up the sun. The sunshine will feel good on my broken frame as well and I will enjoy the freshness of the air this time of year. There’s no better hue of green than that of the tender leaves emerging from their Winter slumber: truly lime, truly sublime too. Some call it “horticulture therapy.” Gee, maybe I should go right now poke my finger in the dirt of the violets waiting to fill the self-watering planters I thought I might plant tomorrow . . . I need a fix of something and a shot of tequila is out of the question these days . . .

*********************

Please pray for us. This sister bear is hurting more for her brother than anything right now. My beloved Steve has been so loving despite the challenges of my illness, demands of his work, and his other responsibilities. Lisa has got to be struggling as well, balancing work, the care of her teenage son (Alex), and assuming increasing responsibility for Michael’s affairs. She and Michael have known each other almost 7 years. Her 13 year old son has a great relationship with Michael too. Oh Lord, hold us all closely this night. Help us. Show us Your love, mercy, and grace. Guide us with wisdom. If it is Your will, heal my brother from the effects of this devastating stroke. Comfort him as he realizes all that has happened to him and show him hope, be real for him on his bed of sickness. He has reached out to you in his time of need. I am grateful for this and grateful that you are here with us. And thank you for the encouragement we find in Your Word:

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4)

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Six Common Misconceptions About The Chronically Ill

Published on April 22, 2014April 23, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

A fast read on some things to keep in mind when interacting with a loved one battling an ongoing illness. Grace and mercy are helpful companions too. JJ

My Color Is Lyme