With all of God’s Word at our fingertips, we continue to berate ourselves for not being good enough. Such a fruitless waste of time. This video straightened me around tonight. Hope you enjoy it too. May God be the glory for the great things He has done, including you and me. Take care, JJ
God’s Chisel Remastered by the Skit Guys
Gluten free oatmeal with beef gelatin for added protein?
Sautéed celery, carrots, and turkey patties with salt and marjoram?
Baked and herbed chicken thighs?
Almond butter on iceberg lettuce wrapped around a slice of leftover turkey/beef meatloaf?
Almond/coconut milk smoothie with celery, carrot, avocado, and Celtic sea salt?
Yes! Things sure can get weird when you’re on 3 diets at once: 1) mold-free due to mold illness, 2) Candida/low sugar and starch due to a systemic infection, and 3) low sulphur due to probable methylation issues. And you thought trying to lose a couple of pounds for your New Year’s Resolution was challenging? That’s kid’s stuff in my kitchen! At least number 3 is only for 10 days before I add back cruciferous vegetables to see if they have contributed to the noxious symptoms of the past 2 years. Who knows? Maybe I’ll figure out how to make pancakes out of squash and coconut flour after all!
In the meantime, note the incredible power of food. I have a true Foodie friend who was able to help her sister recover from a deadly kidney disease in record time by painstakingly altering her sister’s eating plan. The Nephrologist was astounded at the improvements in her lab results. Yes, food is fuel and should require more of our time and attention if we desire better performance from our bodies or health. While I do wish that my adherence to a mold-free and Candida diet for the past year would have made more of a difference, I know that I would be FAR WORSE if I had been more lax. I am grateful for the supernatural strength of the Lord to help me shop for, prepare, and tolerate these special foods when I have felt very sick.
Somehow I am not be surprised that the Lord cares for all of these details of my life.
Matthew 6:26 (NIV)
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
The food of the earth was created for our nourishment and enjoyment from the very beginning.
Genesis 1 (NIV)
11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
So glad to be able to get creative again after a long spell of, as they say in the cereal commercial, “nuttin’ honey!” Making wrap bracelets have become my favorite jewelry to make, incorporating macramé, traditional jewelry findings, leather, and just about every technique I’ve learned so far. Having a creative outlet has been a blessing of late and here’s hoping this lovely piece is the start of more good things to come!
Click on the link below for more information.
I am finally awake, stable, and coherent all at the same time! It is now 12:48 a.m. Such is life.
On a good note, I was able to march around outside this evening in my snowshoes for about 30 minutes this evening. The night air felt bitterly cold yet the sky was clear with all of the stars visible in our Midwestern corner of the world. I love seeing our German Shepherd, Elle, jump from one snow drift to the other as she chases after my husband and me. But perhaps my most favorite moment was seeing her waiting for me as she looked into the house from outside on our covered porch. Steve had taken off cross country skiing in the backyard and pond area. She usually follows him closely, often pouncing behind him in his tracks when the snow is deep. Today she knew that I would be headed out with him shortly after he left and there she was: waiting with her big expectant brown eyes. Ah the love of one’s pup!
Sometimes when I am alone it is hard to feel the love that I know exists in my life. When I am the sickest each morning this is especially true. For me it seems that so much of the success of recovering from this time of illness will lie in what I do with the grief of the trauma I have experienced. For over two years now, I have felt traumatized by the wretched seizure attack episodes that wrench my body with pain, headaches, cognitive changes, ringing in my ears, crying, spontaneous vocalizations, and violent seizing. For over two months, the episodes last around four hours total per day with the worst ones occurring in the evening. The sadness can be overwhelming; the disappointment each time they return can be heavily discouraging. Both can lead to a sense of emptiness that is devoid of love, hope, and meaning. At some point I recover enough from an attack to get something to eat or drink. Even eye contact with the lone pet left behind with me when everyone else in my life has gone off to work or some other noble activity can be a mixed blessing: comforting and protective (yes) yet a pittance for more meaningful human contact. By the way, where is God?
Yes, I often long for Jesus with skin on at these times. I am grateful that most recently I have found Him in the caring voice of a friend on the phone and always in the loving embrace of my beloved Steve. Sometimes I miss picking up the phone and calling my mom. This desire to connect with her seems stronger the more the years go by since she passed away nearly seven years ago. I guess it is normal when a person goes through a time of testing or sorrow to desire the comfort and wisdom of a parent no matter what your current age might be. If my mom were still alive today I think she would want me to keep moving, keep going, keep trying despite the setbacks. O.K. mom: will do. For tonight I’m going to call on the One who sees me whether or not my husband is around, the dog is awake, a friend is home to answer the phone, or my self-soothing words in my heart to my deceased mother means anything. I’m going to the throne of grace.
My dear friend mentioned Psalm 91 yesterday. Here are some gems from the Psalm to which those with an anxious heart often turn:
Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
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14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
From Bibleclassics.com I found this little gem of insight into Psalm 91 that spoke to my heart this night: “Whatever happens, nothing shall hurt the believer; though trouble and affliction befal, it shall come, not for his hurt, but for good, though for the present it be not joyous but grievous. Those who rightly know God, will set their love upon him. They by prayer constantly call upon him. His promise is, that he will in due time deliver the believer out of trouble, and in the mean time be with him in trouble. The Lord will manage all his worldly concerns, and preserve his life on earth, so long as it shall be good for him. For encouragement in this he looks unto Jesus.”
Yes, thank you Matthew Henry. I will hold onto the psalmist’s words of comfort inspired by my Lord who sees me on my bed of sickness, who promises He will never leave me or forsake me. And if it be His will, He will deliver me from my suffering. Into this night and for the rest of my nights I will ultimately rest in the loving arms of the one who is showing me His goodness despite the darkness. No matter what the next day might bring I will trust You. No matter what the next hour may bring I will wait on You.
No matter what you too may endure Gentle Reader, I hope that you will be encouraged that your sadness or disappointment does not go unnoticed by the Lord who loves you too. He is worthy of our faith. And I know if we both but believe in Him, we will be blessed in some special way that will transcend our nights, our days. In the meantime He will not frustrate us beyond our ability to cope and will provide a way out when overwrought with temptation. These are promises in His Word and truths by which we can endure all things. We will never be alone. His eyes will always be smiling towards us through the looking glass of life. JJ
Again it seems that my greatest clarity of thought arrives after 3:00 a.m.! Such a strange phenomenon. I am always amazed at all of us web crawlers on Facebook at this tender hour. So I’m not alone after all. So it’s o.k. then, right?
Sometimes I’m not so sure I’m doing this thing right: trying to recover from a serious illness that is. The findings, colorful cords, and beading wonders of Trinity Jewelry by Design sit right behind me, untouched for almost 2 months. The creative juices appear to be flowing more through the keyboard than the macramé knotting board these days. Who can think in color when just three hours earlier I was nearly wretching from the noxious seizing of my once functional central nervous system? Tics of organic origin. Non-epileptic seizures. Whatever. I miss the once creative and functional Julie!
My beloved Steve is so gracious with me at these low times. All I could do tonight was yelp and squeak a bit as he sat within earshot in our nightly arrangement of sorts. I muttered a “help” and he came near, warming my frigid hands and feet with his comforting frame. The episode continued, alas, for another hour or more. Frankly, I lost track of time. All I know is that I did not make dinner this evening; I’ve got another shot at making his lunch for work tomorrow after we part ways tonight Gentle Reader. Looks like I’ll be able to pull some good eats together this evening after all.
In the song by Casting Crowns, Mark Hall sings of praising the Lord in the heartache of life’s storms. Perhaps you remember this moving Lifesong ballad from 2006?
Yes, and perhaps you remember me posting it in a previous blog last year as well. No big deal. No matter how many times it takes, no matter how many tears may fall, and no matter how many blog posts you may endure the message will still be the same: my face is towards my Immanuel through the storm to the rainbow waiting for me at it’s end. Period. There is nothing else for me to do. My Lord has seen fit to keep me here with lightening bolts running through my mind each day. Seizures can kill people. I am still here. For me the seizure attacks are a bit of a right of passage. The more I have, the more my angst turns into breaths of anticipation. What will come with the next breath? No worries about tomorrow. The moment here and now! If my mind wanders to anything stressful, the symptoms worsen. So I am learning to live in the length of one breath at a time. One s-i-n-g-l-e b-r-e-a-t-h at a time.
No wonder it is difficult to leave my chair most evenings! I am weak and tooling around on the computer is certainly a step up from lying there, writhing in bed. Nausea and sweats can increase if I do too much unless there is some sort of a clearing phenomenon first. When that happens I do as much as I possibly can before the freedom ends. Sometimes I’m not quite finished with a task when sickness returns; it’s always a bit tricky when that happens. And that’s when the Lord adds His incredible increase, endurance, grace. I cling to the God-breathed promises of His Holy Word and He delivers me without fail. This is where my spiritual gift of faith comes from: witnessing His faithfulness in my times of need. Faith brings hope as well.
He is worthy of your cries my friend. No matter how big or how small, the God of infinite mercy and love is ready, willing, and able to receive the desires of your heart. If you don’t believe me then your definition of God is not big enough. ‘Nuff said.
I guess it’s time to get up now. Will it be leftover barbeque meatloaf or smoked turkey sandwiches for lunch tomorrow? Gee, maybe I can even melt some cheese on the bread for a tasty treat. I love spoiling my Stevers. He is so good to me. :J
Jesus is for the Wounded 
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