Recovery from Serious Illness: Lyme, CIRS, & More – Page 109

Moments of happiness

Published on December 23, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

If there is one thing that enduring a serious illness has taught me it is this: to live in the moment is Divine!

The moment is all we really have anyways right? I mean can you re-live the fabulous breakfast you had 6 hours ago or borrow the great night of sleep you might have in 4 more hours right now? Nope. While I do value reflecting on the past and hoping for events in the future, I try to LIVE in the moment. This translates into a lovely collection of coping and being behaviors that keep me sane these days. Let’s take 10:51 p.m. EST on Sunday, for example.

Steve and I had a really nice time visiting with his son, Daniel, and his girlfriend Elizabeth. We enjoyed their happiness, love for each other, and sharing of their plans for the future. Our time together went quickly and I thought little of my discomforts. Looking ahead, I foresee many good things for them with the blessing of the Lord on their lives together. Living in the moment, I refused to consider what it would be like, should they get married, trying to navigate various family activities whilst sick on my unpredictable schedule. Living in the moment whilst lying in bed with seizures right before they arrived, I refused to spend energy trying to figure out what I would say should I not make it to the living room to see them. The attacks stopped just after they walked in the door. The worry would have been wasted if I had spent any energy there. I praise the Lord for helping me in those tenuous moments. I praise the Lord for our moments of happiness this evening.

Steve and I are looking forward to several family Christmas activities in the next few days, including a church service in the water-damaged building that is our church home. This will require me to wear a carbon filter mask as soon as I walk in the door and wait to remove it until I enter the shower at home. This will require both Steve and I to remove our outer clothing and coats when we get home and toss it all in the dryer as soon as we walk in the door. This will require an awkward conversation with Daniel and Elizabeth about our mold decontamination procedures should they come back to our house later that evening. So right now, instead of ruminating about all of this, I am choosing to spend my energy looking forward to worshipping in our church home for the Christmas Eve candlelight service. It will be my first time with Steve there in over 6 months . . .

Moments of true happiness come easily sometimes and other times they require arduous, copious amounts of work. All I can say is that in this one moment in time, now 11:04 p.m., I am grateful for a few happy moments today. This is new for me. Perhaps I am starting to live again? Yes. That makes me happy, happy, happy.

Lost in Space

Published on December 20, 2013December 20, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Today was a better day. I almost don’t know what to do with myself! I slept a total of 13 hours: slowly moving through the motions of self care then made my way to the kitchen. Five hours later I emerged having made dinner, homemade granola, no-bake cookies, bone broth, and roasted parsnips. What the heck happened?

Who knows? Maybe I don’t need to know. I still had some rough moments this morning with feelings of sickness on and off. But this is the first evening in many weeks when I have not had a major seizure attack episode for 1-3 hours before midnight. Thank you Lord!

Tomorrow will be filled with appointments outside our home and we’ll see how that goes. I kinda think that reducing my stress level was the right thing to do today, letting my energy level dictate what I would do rather than my calendar. So as I go to bed I am massively humbled and a little lost. Gee. A better day happened to me!

Tee hee! Goodnight all. JJ

Gift idea to encourage those with chronic illness

Published on December 19, 2013December 19, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

The first year enduring and battling a serious illness can test everything we thought we knew about coping with the trials of life. In this book, I share some of the more meaningful and encouraging moments of my journey as I sought to draw strength from outside of myself to endure them. My hope is that you or your loved one will find strength and hope that transcends the often difficult day-to-day experience for yourself or a loved one coping with a debilitating illness. I also hope that you will consider the hope found in a personal relationship with God. His presence in One’s life can make a difference in where a person lands when this particular journey of life is over. Will we have peace or will we have despair?

With a sincere heart it is my privilege to share these short vignettes with you. Let not these trials of ours be wasted, eh? Gentle Reader, are you ready for enduring hope that goes beyond what we can see? If your answer is, “Yes,” then I invite you to read, Hope Beyond Lyme: The First Year. May it also encourage you to learn that you are not alone, not today, not ever.

Discover from a fellow sojourner, her most meaningful and encouraging moments to encourage you or your loved one battling a serious illness. Find in one handy eBook (available in 9 different formats) the best blogs updated from this site plus several Bonus Pages too! Click on the link below for more information. Take care, :J

Hope Beyond Lyme: The First Year

Hell on Earth

Published on December 17, 2013December 19, 2013 by Jesus is for the Wounded1 Comment

I was reminded listening to the words of a friend the other day that not everyone believes that there is both a heaven and a hell. Funny how choosing to believe something doesn’t exist, does not mean that it in fact does not exist! If the source for ultimate truth is the Bible, the very representation of God Himself, then this is the place for us to turn on such matters. Since I am not a Bible scholar, I will enlist the help of Hank Haanagraf from the Christian Research Institute to shed a little light on the subject:

First, Christ, the Creator of the cosmos, clearly communicated hell’s irrevocable reality. In fact, He spent more time talking about hell than He did about heaven. In the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5–7), He explicitly warned His followers more than a half-dozen times about the dangers that lead to hell. In the Olivet Discourse (Matt. 24–25), He repeatedly told His followers of the judgment to come. In His famous story of the Rich Man and Lazarus (Luke 16), He graphically portrayed the finality of eternal torment in hell.

Furthermore, the concept of choice demands that we believe in hell. Without hell, there is no choice. Without choice, heaven would not be heaven; heaven would be hell. The righteous would inherit a counterfeit heaven, and the unrighteous would be incarcerated in heaven against their wills, which would be a torture worse than hell. Imagine spending a lifetime voluntarily distanced from God only to find yourself involuntarily dragged into His loving presence for all eternity. The alternative to hell would be worse than hell itself in that humans made in the image of God would be stripped of freedom and forced to worship God against their will.

Finally, common sense regarding justice dictates that there must be a hell. Without hell, the wrongs of Hitler’s Holocaust would never be righted. Justice would be impugned if, after slaughtering six million Jews, Hitler merely died in the arms of his mistress with no eternal consequences. The ancients knew better than to think such a thing. [“Ask Hank” column of the Christian Research Journal, volume 27, number 1 (2004)]

We read that in hell there will be darkness, eternal separation from God, unquenchable fire, weeping and gnashing of teeth. For all of eternity, a person will never be able to get comfortable or find relief. Wow. All this for turning one’s back on the God of the universe who created each one of us, loves us unconditionally, promises to never leave us or forsake us . . . if we but repent and believe in Him. A reasonable choice I would say given the rewards, given the consequences for not doing so! I opt for the eternal party in heaven with streets of gold and the mansion with many rooms He is now preparing for His own. I trust that many Gentle Readers of this blog have made the same decision for Christ as Lord and Savior.

In the meantime, believers and non-believers alike must live in a fallen world where Satan rules, not God. What? Surely God is here, dwells in the hearts of those who love Him, reveals Himself through the wonder of nature and the blessings He bestows upon us, right? Yes He does. He will not rule, however, until He comes again in glory at His second coming. Until then, we must face the consequences of sin and everything short of the Garden of Eden. At times and increasingly in the world in which we live, we see evil and darkness. Increasingly we see and experience what we might call “hell on earth.” Perhaps you have tasted this yourself. I know I have many times . . . my personal hell plays out every day as I battle a serious illness. Wretched, man.

If you want to make sure you don’t end up in hell, well then I invite you to get connected to the Lord, Jesus Christ personally. While there are no guarantees that you will not suffer in this life, you are guaranteed that you will live gloriously in heaven with your Heavenly Father and believers who have gone before you . . . FOREVER. Now that’s a guarantee that pulls me through any glimpse of hell on earth these days.

All of this is good to reflect on and get straight right before Christmas. After all, the holiday traditions will fade. Christmas presents will break down someday and the fruitcake will live on beyond most of us in a garbage dump somewhere! But even fruitcake will turn to dust eventually. And when it does I know where I will be. I will no longer have seizures, chronic illness, and chronic pain. Everything will be perfect. (Happy sigh.)

How about you?

Pray without ceasing

Published on December 15, 2013December 15, 2013 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray continually, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5

The pages of my journal are color coded for quick reference to the various noxious symptoms of this ongoing illness. This system helps when making medical summary documents or answering questions during doctor appointments. It looks like every line has either blue (for headache), green (pain), orange (seizure attacks), purple (nightmares or waking terrors), or red (flu-like sickness) today. Whew! I had planned to write the hairy details directly from my journal for my blog entry today but I think that just mentioning the rainbow of wacky stuff going on is good enough. But don’t worry. I am more stable now. I slept until 5:00 p.m. today with about 1 1/2 hours awake this morning for breakfast and journaling. This is crazy stuff man.

And yet every speck of color and it’s accompanying saga are part of the Lord’s perfect plan for my life. I am sad that Steve has to endure this too. Yet as a believer, to have a wife with a serious illness is part of the Lord’s Divine plan for his life as well. How this works is such a mystery! So for me, if I am to live as Christ then I must take His Words into my heart and allow them to breathe life into my achy body each day. I must pray without ceasing, give thanks for all the goodness that continues all around me, and know that He can use everything for His glory. This is a mighty responsibility. Hope I get it right!

Will this time of illness refine me in some way? Perhaps. I know that in another time of my life, repeated trials softened the harsh edges of my personality. I learned that I have a Heavenly Husband and grew in fellowship with Him. (Oh how I wish every married woman would know the joy of having a perfect partner in life as manifest in the Lord so she could cut her earthly husband some slack a little more often!) I also witnessed the amazing provision of my King in what appeared to me as “upside down and backwards” most of the time. In the end, the pieces of my frazzled life came together perfectly. I even met my knight in shining aluminum (aka the 24-foot box truck that Steve rented to move me from Illinois to Indiana!) who has shown me love like no other person on this earth. The Lord restored the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25) so to speak, and I was set to live happily ever after . . .

When there’s a major turn of events in the life of a believer, chances are there’s also a major opportunity to receive something wonderful that could not come any other way. Who changes his or her personality just because it’s Saturday? No, it usually takes a major train wreck or two for that to happen! Because the Lord has shown me His faithfulness, His heart, and blessings even in heartache, I will continue to choose to lean on Him, wait on Him for all things.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the thing which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

These colorful experiences of mine, good and bad are temporary. Thank goodness! Allow me to share with you one more passage that brings this hope home in my heart:

You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth. You hall increase my greatness and comfort me on every side. Also with the lute I will praise You — and your faithfulness, O my God! Psalm 71

We have a Heavenly Father who promises to be with us though all of the trials of our lives and redeem them for eternal glory. Come to His throne of grace with me Gentle Reader and bring before Him all your weariness, hurts and pain. He sees them and carries them with us. And one day they will be washed away when either He comes again for His own or we join Him when our time here is through.

If you do not know Him as Lord and Savior of your life, well, you are missing out on perfect peace and so much more. I pray that you will consider following Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life. If you make that decision today, please contact me and tell me all about it. If you rededicate your love for Him, please tell me that too. After all, to reach others for Christ is the main reason why this blog is here. My time of illness and connecting with you today are part of His perfect plan for my life. They just represent more pretty colors for the threads in the tapestry of my life you might say . . .