Tag: mercy

Between a rock and a hard place

Published on by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

headache back pain comicSometimes you have to make a choice.  You are at a dead end or maybe lost.  Perhaps what worked in the past will no longer suffice.  Or perhaps you are facing the most difficult reason:  an external force requires you to act immediately.  Regardless, the process goes more gently when covered in prayer to the One who sees you and your situation, cares for you, knows your heart and heartache, and has a plan an purpose for your life.  That plan and purpose includes the crossroads in which you find yourself.  Stepping forward into the arms of the loving and perfect Father through a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ, will carry you through the decision every time.  He already knows, sees . . .

Gratefully I don’t have to stress very long these days before I’m at the throne of grace with my alms of concern.  I understand that it blesses the Lord to come before Him with all things big and small; such a mystery of His amazing grace.  This week had them both for me.

Big decision:  sell the Beam Ray/Rife machine in which Steve and I invested so much hope and resources just 1-1/2 years ago.  It’s not working for me and I cannot tolerate most of the frequencies anymore.  Time to let it go and move on.

Small decision:  relinquish my cheaper cell phone with a slider keyboard for a smartphone.  We will benefit from having it on the road when travelling and it will expand my online business possibilities.  Time to let go and move forward.

Big decision:  place active Lyme and mold treatments on hold to eradicate a serious systemic yeast infection.  This requires risking more noxious events to kill the fungus that is hurting me and may even be contributing to the seizure attacks, etc.  I seek wisdom in the timing of all of this with the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.  Alas, it is time to let go of the time table and move ahead carefully.

Small decision:  discontinue the IV magnesium treatments at number 28 because the symptomatic “cost-benefit analysis” don’t compute anymore.  Sometimes you simply have to choose.

Medium decision:  sold my (beginning) surf ski kayak called a Stellar SR.  This one brought tears.  This illness has challenged my fitness and balance skills making the mastery of paddling this specialty kayak quite difficult.  Steve just sold a kayak as well so we likely will invest in a solo outrigger canoe and share it.  These are awesomely cool, fast paddling boats that just might work with either kayak or canoe paddles.  Yeah but I let go of the SR before ever mastering it.  I got sick after paddling it October 11, 2011:  my third time on the water with it.  Seeing it go on a rainy afternoon was a gray reminder of the past 2 years of illness and brought up feelings of failure.  Sish, maybe this was a bigger decision than I thought.  The tears are making it hard to see the computer screen right now . . .

I think tomorrow will be a retreat day.  Steve and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary and perhaps something simple will be nice this time.  One of the best decisions of my life was to move out of State to marry Steve 6 years ago.  Ahhh my intended beloved.  How the Lord has blessed me with a man after His own heart as you!  However we choose to spend our time together, I am sure that it will be wonderful.

O.k. so I just went from tears to blushing.  Allow me to send you off with a prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for seeing and hearing the hearts of Your children each day.  Help us to reach for the shadow of Your wings to carry us when we cannot stand, to shelter us when we must wait on your Divine hand in our lives, to lift us when it is time to step out in faith once again.  If it is Your will I ask for healing for me from this complicated mix of illness and for the Gentle Reader finding you this day whilst reading this blog.  Cover us with Your healing grace and merciful love.  Guide us in our decisions for your glory Lord.  And help us to keep our eyes fixed on You, waiting with great expectation for Your Providence to unfold.  I love you Lord.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Potato Chips Made Me Better

Published on by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Did you know that Detroiters eat an average of 7 lbs. of chips per year, as opposed to 4 lbs. in the rest of the country?  If it’s true, it must be due to the Better Made

Better Made Potato Chips
Better Made Potato Chips

snack company that has dominated the potato chip market in Michigan since it began in 1930.  As for me, I can say that these chips made me happy as a kid growing up in the Detroit area.  When I would walk into my grandparents’ home in the country on Lake Columbia, my eyes would quickly scan the top of the refrigerator.  I knew it was going to be a good visit if there was a family sized bag of Better Made potato chips up there!  The same was true at home, especially if there were any left after my dad had already snarfed his evening share of chips with a bowl of chocolate ice cream.  Yes, it’s genetic.   My family loved potato chips!  (I recommend the folded, slightly browned ones with the extra trapped salt and crunch!)

Flash forward a few decades and even today, a chip has the power to make me happy!  Of course I can’t justify the simple carbs and canola oil combination of Better Made potato chips on my special diet so I had to find a replacement.  Let’s see, if there was a crunchy treat that had relatively low salt, 4 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber, no sugar, 14 grams of carbohydrate, and all non-GMO ingredients, would you go for it?  Well I checked them out and found my new favorite:  Beanitos are better and made for me!  The pinto bean and black bean varieties have clean ingredients and no guilt . . . unless you eat more than, say 12 chips!  Better buy a couple of bags or there might not be any left on top of your refrigerator tomorrow!  Or maybe they need to manufacture a Family Size Beanitos too?

Well that’s all fine and dandy but what does it have to do with finding hope while recovering from Lyme Disease?  In my life, having a treat, an escape, is an essential part of coping with the trials and suffering of this crazy illness.  The ingredients in Beanitos barely count as cheating on my protein-oil-vegetable diet!  I thank the Lord for the little things:  round crispy, slightly salty, and satisfying too!

Long before I would crash and burn this evening, paralyzed by seizure attacks with difficulty speaking, moving, and even feeding myself a sip of water, I imbibed in munching on a few chips.  I am grateful for such a simple pleasure as this to take my mind off of the nightly terrors that have been anything but pleasant these past few weeks.  When the health food section of our local grocery store remained sold out of my fav bean chips, I planned to head straight for the health food store as soon as I was well enough to drive.  My delight came today.  Yippeee!  Both flavors were in stock and “jumped” into my shopping basket as I walked by!  Those happy feelings were to fill my tummy once again.

God’s Word teaches us:

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,[f] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  Hebrews 4

Yes.  Once again my Prince of Peace met me today in my time of need.  This day and always He satisfies my soul that cries out for His mercy when I am in times of crisis — and when I need a little treat as well.  Sometimes the little things mean a lot.  As for me and my refrigerator, we will keep a steady supply of crunchy treats within reach a while longer.  As for me and my house, under the spiritual leadership of my husband and best friend, we will serve and wait on the Lord.  In all things I am truly blessed.

The Old Makes Way for the New

Published on by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Phillipians 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

A broken vessel could be a metaphor for my life these 1 1/2 years.  Then again, I could just start from today, praise the Lord for His enduring Spirit, mercy and grace, then move on!  Since today is a new day, I’ll choose the latter.

Besides, if you look closer, you’ll see the buds on the branches of the lilac bush emerging from the broken vase below.  Can you see them?  They are the signs of new life that can come with each new day.  Noting that I cut these branches to increase the flower production on the plant adds additional meaning:  sometimes our lives must be pruned to free us for the blessings to come either in this life or the next.

For those in Christ Jesus, we know that he will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28).  We can trust him in the times of new growth, the times of pruning, the times of brokenness and the times of loss all the same.  Wow.  So glad I learned this when my life totally changed 10 years ago. Well I mean that it took 10 years to understand the transforming power of the gospel, working in the lives of His friends, His children, His people.  The Lord’s love and care is working in me too.

My hubby says that I should use a plastic vase instead of a glass one outside.  Yeah, he’s right.  Glad this episode of brokenness  is an easy one to fix!  I’ll let go of the vase, fill another with the waters of life and embrace the newness that is growing all around me.  (Reference:  see the second picture please!)

Hmmmmmm, I think there’s something growing inside me too.  Little by little, the illness I have is transforming as well.  Praise the Lord!  :J

DSCF7726DSCF7731

Enemy Number Two

Published on by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

moldimagesEnemy number one is the author of all that is evil, Satan himself.  Fallen from the angelic realm, he roams the earth tempting and taunting everyone.  Unless we claim the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ, we will have no defense against his schemes nor against sin.  With faith in Christ, we are free from the penalty of sin (which is death), receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, and our eternal life begins with the triune God.  Whether I live or perish in this earthly life, I have eternal victory in Jesus Christ.  Enemy number one is defeated.

I have a new enemy in my life and it is not Lyme Disease.  Enemy number two, superseding all other hassles is mold.  Mold is making me sicker and sicker every day.  Turns out that the floods in our home when our water softener filter broke, twice, have introduced this dangerous neurotoxin into our master bedroom and bathroom.  We got a good look at some of it tonight when my husband, Steve, shined a flashlight under the bathroom cabinet.  Greenish blue spots splatter the wooden base that backs to the garage (and where the water softener is located).  The next step is to pull up the carpet and examine the pad, drywall, and wooden base in the bedroom.  Geez!  No wonder the ERMI (household DNA test for mold) exceeded the scale values.  We have a serious problem!

Sick building syndrome and mold exposure can mimic the symptoms of Lyme Disease or worsen them.  Initially I wondered if the mold exposure complication I was suspecting was from working some years ago in a moldy old hospital Aurora, IL.  Certainly I had chronic sinus infections back then, with the sick leave eventually complicating my job situation.  This newer exposure leads me to wonder if this is why I have had such a rough time treating Lyme Disease?  Is this why I am  struggling even more since ingesting mold (microbial rennet) in Gruyere goat cheese this past week?  Well with this discovery, we not only have a serious problem, we might have a solution!

Steve and I are implementing some survival strategies while we investigate the matter further.  We wonder if our homeowners’ insurance will cover repairs and we wonder how to protect me and everyone in our household from further mold exposure?  Can I stay here?  Thankfully, I will see my Lyme Literate Doctor this week and this will be a center point of our discussion for sure.  I’m feeling very sick these days.  Thank you for hanging in there with me as we prayerfully proceed.

Since the Lord has given us victory over enemy number one, we know that He will grant us grace, mercy, and peace with “enemy number two.”  And this night, I will be keeping my eyes fixed on Him.  Oh Lord, grant me your gracious mercy, yes mercy please.