Great things He hath done

 

Praise at sunrise 5 Many, Lord my God,
    are the wonders you have done,
    the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
    were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
    they would be too many to declare.

Sacrifice and offering you did not desire—
    but my ears you have opened
    burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
    it is written about me in the scroll.
I desire to do your will, my God;
    your law is within my heart.”

I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
    I do not seal my lips, Lord,
    as you know.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
    I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
    from the great assembly.

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
    may your love and faithfulness always protect me.  (Psalm 40; NIV)

After speaking in adoration, gratitude, humility, and transparency, King David seeks compassion from his Lord and savior Jesus Christ.  He has been literally chased by his enemies to the cold, darkness of living in caves.  His very life, his promised kingdom, and all he knows is at stake yet he begins this song with faithful praise.  Thereafter he presents his request for the Lord’s mercy and protection.  Although not quoted here, this psalm of King David goes on to pray for the salvation of his people and desolation of his enemies.  In the end his hope that the Lord be glorified through it all.  Yes indeed.  Wow.  What a tremendous example for me!

Adoration.  Thank you almighty God for all that you have provided to this day.  I see your omnipotent power in the sequencing of events of my life to bring me into the best of fellowship to you my Lord and King.  I praise you here and forevermore.  You have provided exceedingly for my real needs.  The greatest evidence is in love of my life that is now here; I am honored to be at his side, his beloved too.

Gratitude.  For my times of sickness you have given me a warm bed in which to convalesce, healthy food, good medical care, and infused your strength into my weary frame to do the tasks that are needed each day.  No matter how I may be feeling, the facts remain true that you care for the details of my life and are here with me.  I am never alone.  Most of all your love changes my sorrow into joy.

Humility.  The striving, the determination of my youth were eventually broken well into my adulthood so that I might realize the plans you have for me.  Hurt has yielded to forgiveness and freedom.  Following the lead of my earthly kinsman redeemer instead of my own desires has brought me into the fullness of what it means to follow you.  Much goodness has come from all of these.  The motto that began the leap of faith to finding Jesus years ago has come true:  letting go and letting God reign in my heart must remain above all else.

Transparency.  You gave me a fondness for writing long ago, mentored by my own mother (a naturally gifted writer).  This blog has seen me through much suffering and challenged me to return my eyes to Your majesty, Your creation, and more.  I have learned that the truth about life is often separate from what I can see.  Lord keep me soft to submit to Your ways like the clay who gives its essence to the master potter craftsman.  Surely goodness shall be the result for Your glory.

 Prayerfulness.  I do ask for healing of this wretched illness that plagues me for hours each day.  Guide me in my interactions with others when frustrated by so many things; may I be a light for my true hope that is in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Bring rest and lead my husband, Steve, in the decisions we are facing.  Grant him wisdom at home and at work, as a father to his four wonderful adult children, and as a leader in our church.  Thank you for his faithful witness to so many of what it means to be a man after Your own heart.  And please bless the fellow sojourners you have brought into my life, especially my Skype Bible Prayer partners Karan and Sherry.  Such sweet fellowship is salve to my soul.

Great things the Lord hath done in my life since I met my first Gentle Reader about three years ago.  Thank you for coming alongside me for the ups and downs, bunny trail side trips, victories, and more.  Know that I am praying for you as I write this, that the Lord be with you this day too.  He is so good and worthy of our praise.  Perhaps King David said it best later in Psalm 40 like this:

16 But may all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
    “The Lord is great!”

The knife in the soup pot

Just when I thought I could get my act together and get a little cooking done, some absent-mindedness took over.

It’s not that I meant to cook the paring knife in my stock pot filled with bone broth.   Oh no, that would not enhance the flavor or nutrition at all! Tee hee.  It’s just how it goes sometimes.  It fell in after cutting up the one carrot allowed on my low oxalate diet and I was too foggy in the head to pull it out.  “I’ll do it later,” was my thinking and later came in about 5 hours.  Sish.

Ever have a day like this?  Sure, we all have.   You find the salt shaker in the frig or your boots in the car.  After travelling with TWO 15+ hour stretches  plus another 10+ hour jaunt these past 8 days, this issue was actually our “new normal!”  Where is the hair blow dryer?  Well it’s behind the driver’s seat in the truck of course, attached to an extension cord.  (And this saved everything when multiple locks froze on the camper more than once!)

Sometimes a little insanity is just what a person needs.  Keeps things fresh, right?  Here’s an extreme example that is my reality today.  When I start convulsing it might just be due to a need to clear some satanic warfare and not the mold residuals from my husband’s breath and trip to a known water-damaged building.  After all, when the convulsions continued this afternoon it wasn’t long before we discerned that he had already de-contaminated and more was going on here.  We probably had chatted a little too soon after the exposure to the mycotoxins I cannot tolerate.  Yet I love talking with my beloved River Bear!  It’s so easy to forget the insane myriad of details that must be followed  in the normalcy of everyday life actvities.

This time there was a battle going on.  Not just at stake was a fluke of mismatched tasks in following our protocol.  This was real.  We knew from other episodes that Satan has used this illness to temp us with divisiveness, to misplace anger and bitterness, to doubt God’s soveignty and more.  Praying through it, keeping me from harm in the process, citing scripture verses, and singing hymns set me free once again.  We deal with this NOT because I am not indwelt the Holy Spirit by the way.  I belong to Jesus.  The Lord will always be the victor for those who believe.  Even Satan cannot snatch us out of His hand.

Spiritual warfare can sway us from the hope we have in Jesus Christ. So that is the test here.  Yet I will never be moved.  (Ephesians 6:13)  No amount of hassle, suffering, horror, or weirdness will ever change my mind. Such is the power of faith in the One who will trash Satan and his demons into the lake of fire someday.  Jesus remains THE VICTOR on the throne and delivers us from evil.  I just get extra doses that strengthen this spiritual gift needed for the life crafted for me.  And then you get to read about it!

Hey thanks, Gentle Reader.  And be encouraged.   THERE IS NOTHING that can separate you from your Heavenly Father’s love either:  no matter what happens on this earth.  (Romans 8:38-39)  Come into a personal relationship, a closer relationship with Him through His Son and dwell in His house forever.  And don’t worry.   While things will never be perfect here, they will be in heaven.  No knives in the soup pot!  Just bliss, joy, peace, love, happiness, and the spiritual food of the angels as we sit at the feet of Jesus taking in His glory.

Oh yeah.   And the Bear who loves me will be there too.  So glad.  :j

If I get to see you . . .

 

If I get to see you in the coming year, please understand that I will be singing songs of joy in my heart!  Social isolation has been one of the most devastating effects of serious illness from these past 3 years.  Should the Lord allow the circumstances for me to get out for an activity other than medical or a trip to the grocery store, I CELEBRATE!!!

So if I might ask for a few accommodations when we get together and you graciously oblige and I still get sick then blame any negative symptoms you may witness in me as the consequence of illness and not you!  Very few folks live in a “clean room” like we have here at home.  I did not clean at this level either until it was a matter of survival.  Steve did not engage in my extreme mold/contaminant behavior strategies until two years ago.  These strategies are necessary for this season of our lives together.  Overall I do better when we follow certain guidelines resulting in less reactivity, the worst of which are fewer seizure-like and convulsive episodes which continue daily.  We are implementing some “due diligence” from what we have learned to reduce my suffering with the goal of eliminating this illness altogether.  We believe that the Lord has allowed these trials for mysterious reasons and ultimately His glory.  He is good!

Both Steve and I recognize that there are definite signs that I am getting better.  We have trained our eye to search for even tiny changes in the pattern and intensity of episodes, pain, and reactivity to keep us hopeful that one day I will be well.  It is happening!  So please don’t be discouraged when either one of us might mention that I had a rough night or you witness a significant setback.  Recovery is a long, jagged line of progress, setbacks, and lateral “bunny trails.”  The overall trending is positive!

The most important accommodations that would be helpful if we get together are as follows.

Meeting in a public place:  Select a place with less noise and less loud music.  Newer buildings are generally better than older ones; please no historic buildings or ones with known basements or crawlspaces and history of flooding.  Restaurants that make their own food with fresh ingredients are better able to modify dishes to meet my food sensitivities.  This rules out most fast food places!  Letting me know the name and phone number of the establishment ahead of time will allow me to contact them with my needs and make the experience of ordering food more pleasant for both of us!  Please do not wear cologne or perfume that day.  I will need to greet you and depart with a “virtual hug” to avoid exposures to hidden elements that might be on your clothing or coat.  Forgive me if I sometimes forget this step in the joy of the moment when I see you!

Meeting in your home:  This is still a situation that I avoid since there are too many variables at this time that may cause serious problems.  I cannot come over if you have 1) ever had flooding in your home of any kind from a leaky toilet to a wet basement or 2) have older carpeting.  If you are willing to have me then please remove all fragranced products at least the day before we are scheduled to be together (such as plug-in or spray air fresheners, candles whether lit or not, potpourri, etc.)  Keeping windows cracked open in cooler weather or open in warmer weather to allow fresh air inside always helps (unless someone is burning something nearby outside!)  I prefer to visit in the area of your home without carpeting and sit on non-upholstered furniture.  Wood, plastics, and leather are best.

Staying overnight:  If we are invited to stay overnight then we will either bring our own linens, blankets and towels, or ask that you wash and dry everything in fragrance-free detergent and softeners (including dryer sheets).  Please replace a moldy shower curtain liner with a new one!  I will bring most of my own food and hand soap where possible.  Providing non-cured, non-smoked meat cooked only with salt, plain oatmeal, plain salad-type vegetables or zucchini/cauliflower without seasonings will be a HUGE treat!  I will always bring the extra condiments and food that I can tolerate.

Yeah, I know that this is a lot for a busy household to prepare!  Thank you for helping us out with this stuff.  Steve and I are exceedingly grateful to have recently obtained a travel trailer which has helped manage all of this tremendously well.  (It is a lot of work for us too, I tell ya!)  Both of our families and many close friends now live out of State so travel is necessary to see them.  This single change in our mode of travel has allowed me to leave our home overnight much more safely and go places from which I have been cut off for most of the past three years.  We are humbled and blessed!  I really like having a mobile safe house that has already opened up my world, provided privacy during setbacks on the road, and aided sleep with a really comfortable bed that can be hard to find when away from one’s own humble abode at home.  Thank you Jesus!

Visiting Daniel and Elizabeth in Alabama
Visiting Daniel and Elizabeth in Alabama

 

We are hoping that the ongoing extreme avoidance and dietary strategies are temporary; some level of precaution albeit more relaxed than the current level will likely continue for some time.  How long will we need to do all of this?  We simply do not know.  We believe the Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) is due to mercury toxicity and we finally have the correct treatment protocols to get me well.  I have excellent medical guidance and a proven treatment plan to follow.  We are hopeful that I will be in better health within this year!  I AM GOING TO GET WELL!!!

And that Gentle Reader, is much to celebrate!  JJ

My Facebook Family Understands

 

 

Thank the Lord for Facebook!

Remember that John Lennon song from the 70’s, Whatever gets you through the night . . . it’s alright . . . it’s alright by me?”  Well I am not endorsing riotous living by any means!  I am saying that for me this past weekend, having a Closed Group in which to vent some drama was my “whatever” that got me through a couple of unusual nights and days when everyone else was asleep.  Thanks for being there Cyber Friends.  Here they are, out in the open:

Friday

Up very late again after the Lord added His increase so I could do some baking. There’s one more day to go entertaining in our home while trying to: avoid toxic (chemical & mold) exposures and squirrel away when the convulsions come. My hubby’s kids have done a reasonable job following our precautions, thankfully. I’ve missed some activities again this year. (For example, a partial Skype date with more family when I had to leave for an hour-long noxious episode!) Sometimes I feel like I have disappeared and other times it’s just me spending so dang much time in the kitchen preparing my special diet. Guess I’m glad I finally got my stuff done! I’ll have more food prep help tomorrow. Hey thanks for listening!

FB Tree

Saturday

Strangeness abounds! Still alone again after not being able to get up to join family due to wretched convulsions. Instead of making a nice honey maple ham dinner (for which I had prepared last night) my husband’s daughter made a different lunch for everyone. I was still in bed seizing! Now I’m up eating my special food alone with you and the Lord in front of our pretty tree.

The fam went indoor go-kart racing! Before they left and whilst praying the spiritual warfare would end, I got a text that my ex-husband needed to contact me for the first time in 10 years! Could he have gotten saved? So my time alone now has been tranformed into a prayer time.

No worries. The Lord has me and you gently in the palm of His hand. I see He may have “others” there too and it is all good.

Update to follow . . . With love, J

Sunday

Finally stabilized and was able to go out to eat with relatives after a wretched morning (aka husband carrying me to the bathroom then bringing me some food before I crashed for another 2 hours while he went off to church). No, the ex did not get saved so I will continue to pray if he comes to mind and in the meantime block further communication for sanity reasons.

Sometimes it just helps to vent the drama that characterizes a life with serious illness. I’ll bet that many of you reading this get it. Our “new normal” never really feels normal at all. I rest in the fact that the Lord sees all and carries me though each breath. When I couldn’t breathe later last night in repeated seizes, I reminded myself that I ain’t dead yet so it must be all uphill from here! “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6: you rock! It’s gonna be a better week! :J

Addendum:

Have a blessed couple of days, Gentle Reader, making the most of whatever is remaining in 2014.  With a ton of yummy leftovers in the frig and sweet Christmas memories too, it’s going to be alright, alright, alright by me too.  :JJ

Mercury Toxicity Resource

Sierra Exif JPEGGentle Readers:

If blog posts here have peaked your interest in mercury detoxification and chelation, you are invited to join a new Facebook group.  This closed group specifically covers the Quicksilver Scientific protocol and related issues.  We are simply fellow sojourners sharing our experience, strength and hope; we are not experts.  Check it out at:

Quicksilver Mercury Detox Group

This is by no means an official Facebook group of the company Quicksilver Scientific!

The official company Facebook page is:

Quicksilver Scientific

The company’s product-oriented Facebook page is:

Quicksilver Scientific International Distributor

While there are many protocols for mercury chelation, detoxification, and ridding ourselves of toxic heavy metals, this is the lab I have chosen for testing and remediation.  Godspeed to all on the path for wellness and may your journey ultimately lead you to the person of Jesus Christ.  He is our true hope!

With love,

Just Julie