Tag: Lord

The Throne of Grace

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He’s got the whole world in His hands

So much to let go.  So much that still haunts this troubled mind and body.  Troubled?  Yeah, a side effect of battling an illness that affects your central nervous system.   Negative emotions are magnified, fears are stronger than they need to be, stress responses come more easily, and a cynical attitude creeps into more and more moments.  It’s a battle and little of needs to be mine, actually.

As a believer in Jesus Christ, we have THE warrior on the throne, can embrace HIS spiritual armor, and trust that HE will be the victor in the end.  He promises all this to those who love Him and call Him Lord.  It honors Him to call upon His name with our praises and requests.  Remembering this fights against the workings of my brain these days a little more than the distractions and temptations we all face.  No, I’m not special.  I’m just selected!  And I get to write about what I learn along the way!

I used to have a God Box.  It was a tool introduced to me during my years in Al Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics’ meetings.  The Lord used 12-Step meetings as a first step to finding a personal relationship with God (AKA Higher Power); I now know God as my Savior, Jesus Christ.  By writing a prayer request, troubling thought, or need on a slip of paper, I had a symbolic way of turning people/places/things over to Him when I put the paper in the God Box.  My Box was a little plastic folder with imprinted with a world map.  Somehow it seemed significant to me as a reminder that the Lord is everywhere, cares about everyone including me.

So this blog is another form of a God Box.  Here’s the list on my piece of paper today:

Lyme Disease.  Treatment decisions.  $250 per week out of pocket for medical expenses.  Restitution I feel my ex-husband owes me.  Amount of money I was entitled to but didn’t take from the settlement of my father’s estate.  Daily physical pain.  Dreams for my jewelry business.  Upcoming craft show.  VISA bills.  Yard work I’m unable to complete.   Last few CEUs for my OT license that need to be done even though I ‘m not working.  Seizure attacks.  Headaches; will the new OTC med. that worked for me yesterday work when I need it again?  The need to exercise and the intolerance of most exercise.    Oh dear.  There is so much and it escalates to near panic if I don’t stop when the avalanche starts.  I’ll stop here.  I need a good word badly!

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  From Hebrews 4 (NIV)

Lord I give you these heartaches this day.  I lay them at Your throne of grace.  I pray for your mercy and help in my time of need.  I also place before you the readers of this blog.  Bless them, Lord for caring about me and perhaps considering the role You may have in their lives.  I pray that each one would come to know you as Lord, lover of his or her soul, friend, and sojourner through this life.  Strengthen those who already know You.  For Your glory, Lord.  In Jesus name.  Amen.

They say it was sunny outside today

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Sunny?  I did see it through the curtains this afternoon.  Yup, it was sunny.

Rainy the other day?   Saw the rain in the sidewalk cracks when getting the mail.    Yup, it rained.

Indian summer with weather in the 70s yesterday?  Let’s see, I was so sick driving to some important errands that I hardly noticed.  Yup, I think it was warm.

Composted a few flower beds?  My wonderful husband says the beds in the front of the house are now done.  Yup, landscaping is getting done.

Does anything help me to feel better anymore?  Epsom salt/baking soda bath at about 10:30 p.m. then showering this evening.  Yup, got me dressed and moving as far as this computer.

Baby shower for a sweet friend this afternoon?  Saw the pictures on Facebook.  Yup, it went well without me.

Sure is a different measure of living, this Lyme thang.   Now let me try another way of looking at thangs:

The sun warmed the bedroom calming my temperature fluctuations this afternoon.  Yes Lord!  The sun shines through an October sky warming me well.

A gentle rain brought nourishment to some late vegetables and the re-potted flowering kale on the porch.  Yes Lord, Your watering prepares all the plants for the harshness of Winter.

Warmer weather diminishes the pain in my body and the sunshine carries me through the day like nothing else.  Yes Lord, you are the glorious Creator, designer of all.  In your arms, nothing is wasted.

Five dollars bought a truckload of rich brown compost to nourish our garden beds before they go to sleep for the Winter.  My beloved got things started today.  Yes, Lord, I am grateful and can “taste” the cucumbers of 2013 already . . .

A long soak in a hot tub is an ultimate treat for relaxation of the mind and body.   Sleep can come easier:   rest, and restoration.  Thank you Lord!  Ahhhh.

What a joy to see a new life in the making, bathed in the love of family and the Lord.   Hope she’ll like my gift and love to be sent along too.

Guess it’s a matter of perspective, eh?  I am weak.  Lord, help me see with Your eternal eyes, Your eternal heart.

Faith in Jesus is Critical

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Yeah so it’s the message I put on the metal template of my new jewelry.  Of course.  It’s not just a trend for me.  Faith in Jesus is critical to my survival these days!

I think I slept  2 hours, twice last night, awakened by demonic influences, seizure attacks, and a massive headache.   Somewhere in the middle of these 2 episodes of sleep, I pushed myself out of bed to eat, drink, and read . . . my husband’s Popular Mechanics magazine, of course!  Reading about the most innovative inventions of the past year is sport for a re-budding entrepreneur like me.  I love creativity in virtually all of its forms.  We all have creativity in us, I believe placed here by the Lord of all creation, the master Creator.  And somewhere in the middle of reading about these inventions I developed a theory about my seizure attacks (formerly known on this blog as “seizure-like tics.”)

:J
Here goes:  if I have seizure attacks when falling asleep and perhaps in a unique stage of the sleep cycle then can the attacks be caused by disease in the sleep center of the brain?  I have pulsing sensations behind my eyes at times, perhaps near the hypothalamus which is part of the brain’s sleep center.  If this dysfunction is localized I wonder if it is possible to use my Rife, Beam Ray machine to target the frequencies of these particular tissues?  Cautiously I may even consider medications or supplements (although I have already tried several of each!).  My brain MRI was normal so there’s no structural issue.  Hmmmmm.  Looking forward to my next appointment with my Lyme Literate Doctor; we have so much to discuss!

:J

The Lord gave me and you the ability to create.  The Lord gave me and you the ability to use our minds to solve problems, reason, remember, learn, and experience emotions.  These are called executive functioning skills.  We are unique from all animals and plants in this regard and with these gifts comes stewardship.  I will only ask the question for myself:  am I using what I have, where I am, with what abilities I’ve got?  Better said is as follows:

1 Peter 4:10-11

New King James Version (NKJV)

10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

So I create.  I try to figure this Lyme stuff out.  I also wait on Him for answers, inspiration, healing, grace, mercy, everything.   In the middle of the night, when I can do nothing because of the wretchedness of Lyme Disease, I simply say the name, “Jesus.”  In the end, faith in Jesus is critical.

:J
Thank you Lord for increasing my faith.  Thank you Lord for meeting me in the middle of the night last night.  Thank you for the comfort and faith I can feel in the arms of my Steve.  I humbly submit to your will and purpose.  And if something good comes from this wretchedness, may You alone receive the glory.   In Christ’s name, Amen.

Sunday afternoons can be the hardest

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After my former spouse left me, I experienced what most would now call a “Extreme Life Makeover!”  Moving my residence 5 times, losing my home, the work injuries, the condo fire, feeling destitute, deaths in the family, oh my!, I could go on.  I won’t because every single trial was ordained by God to bring me to His throne of grace, to rely totally on Him, and to understand Him as my Heavenly Husband, Lord, and King.  The restoration that followed would blow your socks off if you knew me in 2003 and in 2012.  Many thought I would turn away from the Lord during those dark days.  Er, no, I became humbled, dependent on a worthy Savior. He sustained then restored me and for that I am grateful.

I am grateful that He has chosen to bless me in this season of my life.  Wow.  I thought I was going to write about how difficult Sunday afternoons were as a “separated” then “single” woman in her late forties, back then.  I thought I was going to vent the trouble I had this Sunday afternoon when I found myself very alone.  Er, no, guess not.

Isn’t blogging great?  You can talk yourself out of all kinds of things.  Barking with a purpose.

Take care all.  With love,  Julie

An Attitude of Gratitude

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Count it all joy, the Bible tells us, when trials come our way.  They serve to refine us, challenge us, and bring us closer to the Giver of all good things . . .
And sometimes it all works out well.

After almost 2 months of  headaches most days, the pattern has finally changed for the better.  The Lord used the skillful hands of my Family Practice Physician/Chiropractor/LLMD to gently relax then manipulate my neck.  This brings me to a freedom of movement that the seizure-like attacks have taken away increasingly over the past 6 months.  I don’t know how long it will last and it doesn’t matter in this moment.  We only have this moment to live in so I’m doing much better in this moment!

And some other good things have happened:

I was able to attend both the Sunday and Wednesday night worship services this past week.  Praise the Lord!  So what if I had to sit in the back or downstairs a bit due to my sensitivity to loud music.  (They really rock out at Harvest Fellowship!)  I was there and was able to be at my husband’s side to learn about our Jesus and His Word.  Sweetness.

Gratefully, I have now sold 21 pieces of jewelry in my first 2 1/2 months in business!  Trinity Jewelry by Design has touched the lives of folks across the country through many venues the Lord has provided.  Wow!  I have been invited to set up a display in a new gift shop venue in a touristy area of a local town, just in time for the holidays.  Cool beans.  My goal, Lord willing, is to also try hosting a table at one craft show this year featuring our entire product line.  Oh how I love craft shows and events!  There are even some rumblings of sharing the items of others related to my business style and theme online.  Much prayer needed, much hope provided.  :J

While some Lyme symptoms are quite troublesome, I have had a couple of 1/2 days this past month with very low level symptoms.  This has enabled me to be out and about, away from the house or out in the yard enjoying life a little.   Oh Lord, to be normal!  I am encouraged that things will be better someday.  It’s a long journey and as my doctor said today, we now have a path to follow.  How many people can say that when faced with chronic illness?  Thank you Jesus!

Today I was humbled in submitting my continuing education and volunteer hours for the Master Gardener Program at our local Cooperative Extension Office.  The Lord has given me the strength, despite my illness, to gather enough hours to advance to the rank of Master Gardener in January!  Will await final approval and the annual banquet recognition to use the title.  For this I must commend my husband for encouraging me to start with the class last year even when it meant cutting my part time work hours, not knowing the wild ride that would follow with illness into the next year.  Thank you for your encouragement Steve!

Also my thought processes have improved some and this blog has definitely helped.   Thank the Lord for the internet!  Good things are out there!  I feel less isolated now for sure.  Learning to blog built confidence that I would need to set up and online jewelry shop and all the linkages to make it go.  Nothing is wasted in God’s economy, I tell ya!  And today I found out that my Uncle David and Aunt Lori (my deceased father’s siblings) want to come and visit soon.  I am delighted!  Extended family contact has been limited to Facebook for me; now that all my grandparents, parents, and youngest brother are deceased the family relationships have changed.  I do miss the love and care of my family and the myriad of dynamics that goes with it.  Even in dysfunctional families, love can prevail over time.  I felt it today when Uncle Dave called.  Thank you!  I love you!  I look forward to our visit.

And what if none of this would have happened?  Well, the Lord’s fingerprints are sprinkled about here and there when I bother to look for them.  Foremost, I appreciate the love of my dearest Steve which is steadfast, unchanging.  And a sweet kiss or two on the ankle from my Elle pup are cute from under the kitchen table this afternoon too.    Then there was this bird on the bluebird house that caught my eye in our backyard.  Oh how I do hope the bluebirds stop by one last time before the cold weather comes!

I really could go on!  An “attitude of gratitude.”  How am I doing?  I am grateful for so much today.  How about you?