Tag: humility

Did She See Them?

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redtulipsimagesIn my weakness, it is the Lord who helps me think of others not me! Many times this is a blessing for both of us.  Today, this is my test of faith.

I am grateful to finally get the thank you card together for the staff of the hotel that we stayed at during the remediation of our home this past Winter.  Now it’s time to bake lots of cookies and deliver them at the staff’s shift change  for maximum sharing of the goods.  Hey, I don’t want any of these fine folks to be left out!  We’ve been back in our home a month and I still remember their kindness that cannot go unnoticed, even now that life has gone on . . .

If  I am guided by the Holy Spirit to serve or give to someone else and I let it go by, then I am probably too preoccupied with the stuff of my life to focus on anyone else.  When that happens, it is a sad moment indeed.  I could easily make an excuse that would sound legitimate with how I feel these days.  But that would be cutting out the strength that the Lord adds when I am too weak to do anything.  If He gives me the insight that I need to reach out to someone else, do something above my abilities, give more than I feel comfortable, then He will also provide the “goods” needed to complete the task.  He leads us unto good works as an outpouring of His Spirit in us, sometimes as a manifestation of our spiritual gifts and other times by His grace as noted in His Word:

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.  Psalm 23:3b

If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.  1 Peter 4:11

“And Jesus, looking upon them, saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”  Mark 10:27

I see that following His lead is for my good as well as it brings me close to Him:

Philippians 1:6 says, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (NIV).

I may feel like crap yet I know from my experience of this past year that if I just start in the right direction, He will be faithful to help me complete the work to which He leads.  When the task is completed, the next step, perhaps a more difficult one begins.  Yeah, letting go of the results, the human need for appreciation and recognition is a tougher one for me.

Such is the case with the red tulips.  I don’t really know if she ever saw them, planted for her back in time.  After all, she has her own calling and tasks to complete.  Sometimes it hurts for my sacrifice of precious time and energy to go unnoticed.  It hurts even more when it is repeated and that largely comes when I haven’t gotten it right the first time, trying something again and hoping for a different result the second time.  In the Twelve Step program, they call this “insanity!”  Expecting different results is also magical thinking and rarely helps in reality.  There’s so much more missing in this relationship with this gal than red tulips.  Flowers simply may not have been on her radar at all.  Lord, help me let this ol’ memory go.

The Lord sees my heart and always notices.  He notices every time, perfectly, on time, and in my personal heart language.

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Colossians

So Lord I pray that You:

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139

Bring my motivations to light and help me to serve others in the language of Your heart not mine.  Lead me in Your ways, strengthen me in my pajamas, and let any light that may shine on me be for Your glory alone.  Thank you for the gift of Your Holy Spirit, teaching me, guiding me.  For the glory of Your name Jesus Christ I pray.  Amen.

Now where’s the sugar and vanilla?

After the Wedding

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Many Christian weddings call upon the Apostle Paul’s marvelous description of love to help us know what love really looks like.  Sound familiar?

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

When you see love in action, you know that it truly exists.  While love is the hallmark of God’s gift of marriage, we know that it exists in many other relationships too.  I must write that I have seen it again today like so many days these past five years.  To see love as created by God himself, is to fully be alive.  To feel loved by another, is to know that God exists.  To love in return, is what I can do to say thank you.  To love before I see it, before I feel it, before I can give it, is to become an instrument of the Lord.  All are humbling and wonderful.

Today was a particularly difficult day.  More noxious symptoms occurred than usual and many continue at this moment.  And yet I feel no less loved than any other day from my beloved husband, Steve Horney.  He is my Jesus with skin on today and for that I am more than grateful.  I . . .   I . . .   I . . .    All I can say is thank you and I love you too!

If you were not in my life, my dear Stevers, I would have my Heavenly Husband to help me through this day.  He knows what days this has been true in my past and what days He will be my Rock in the future.  Wow.  Today I have both.  God is good.  All the time.  God is good.

Lyin’ in the Morning Sun

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzrXc68gNjQ

I had the chance to “sit by the dock of the bay” or river/reservoir/lake/ocean many times this past year and was unable to take it.

I had the chance to work part time as an occupational therapist in home care and have been unable to do it since March.

I had the chance to garden and fell short of the project “To Do” list.

I had the chance to live as others do and was not selected to live as they do.

Like the song says, “I can’t do what ten people tell me to do.  So I guess I’ll remain the sa-me.”

What have I been able to do?  Learn how much Jesus loves me just as I am.  Feel His love directly through the love of my life, Steve.  Give back here and there out of my weakness alone.  Take time to pray.  Learn to breathe more deeply.  Meet people I never knew before.  Witness the Lord’s majesty and grace in ways I’d never experienced before.  Let go, let God beyond what I ever learned in 12-step circles.  Seek and find the face of Jesus.  Do it sick.  Apply the talents He has given me in new ventures as a Master Gardener Intern and Principal Designer/Owner.  Live in humility and gratitude (and continue to grow in both).  Meet you, gentle reader.

Now that I’m up off of the couch, I think I can take the dog out and get ready for the day.  Golly gee, my tummy hurts and I don’t know why.  And here come the sweats and oh do I feel sick.  Wonder if I’ll make it to my second craft show this Saturday?  If I do, it’s gonna take a miracle for sure!  Alas, I am reminded:

6 So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.  Zech 4

Yes, by His Spirit alone.  Unlike the words of Otis Redding who sang, “sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting ti-me,” I know that nothing is wasted in God’s economy.  As a believer in Jesus Christ, my eternal life has already begun.  This time is not measured by tasks or the stuff of this life on earth.  This time, today, is measured by grace.  I’m layin’ in the morning sun on the couch, typing at the computer with the sun at my back through the window, and breathing in deeply, the subtle richness of knowing that I can do all things through Him that strengthens me (Phil 4:13).  So glad I got that straight today.  Elle!  Let’s gooooooooooooooooo!