Tag: chronic illness humor

Laughing while it’s starting to snow

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I couldn’t decide which of these was the best so here is all of them.  Now take your dose of laughter, the best medicine!

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Funny Reblog From LimeLight

Published on by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Lymie Pick Up Lines

March 9, 2013 — lymediseasewarrior

Quantcastpick up lineMy recent posts weren’t as happy-go-lucky, so I decided to dedicate this post to humor–Lymie humor!  :)   The following list are Lymie pick-up lines! :)

  1. Hey, girl!  What’s your name?. . .Wait, what was it again?. . . Can you repeat that?
  2. You and me, we click–like my knees and hip.
  3. Hey girl!  Can I have your number?. . . Can I have your number?. . . Can I have your number?
  4. I hope you know CPR because you literally took my breath away. . .
  5. You’re like a lighthouse, you shine through the brain fog!
  6. Can I have your number?  I can’t remember mine.
  7. I can’t remember what this key goes to. . . . maybe it’s the key to your heart?
  8. What’s your favorite color?  That’s amazing!  That’s the color of spots I’m seeing today!
  9. Are you a PICC line?  ‘Cause you’ve got a direct line to my heart!
  10. Am I hallucinating, or are you really that beautiful?
  11. Want to grab a sugar-, gluten-, and carb-free bite to eat?
  12. You’re like a feeding tube–I just can’t live without you!
  13. Your eyes are so bright they give me a migraine.
  14. My hand is heavy.  Can you hold it?
  15. Let’s hang out this weekend–in the IV lounge!
  16. You’re so pretty you make my head spin!
  17. You’re so sweet I’m getting a sugar high.
  18. Your sweet perfume is intoxicating.
  19. I guess the doctors were right–I am crazy.  Crazy about you!
  20. My heart tick-ticks for you, girl!
  21. You hear that?  That’s the sound of my heart racing because you’re near me.
  22. Woah, woah–stand back.  You’re making my heart beat irregularly.
  23. Hey, girl!  You’re so beautiful you’re like that. . . thing . . that—wait, what is it?  Umm. . . It’s red and it’s a flower. . .
  24. My disability benefits are nothing compared to the benefit of knowing you!
  25. I’m glad I dropped out of school, now I have more time for you!
  26. Hey, girl!  I’ve been trying to think of a pick-up line for you, but your presence makes my mind go blank.

NOTE FROM JULIE AT JUST JULIE WRITES:  Don’t worry about me using these lines anytime soon on anyone but my Stevers!  :J

The Washing Machine Just Told Me

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The washing machine just told me that I couldn’t get dressed because I didn’t have any clean bras to wear!  Enjoy some other musings . . .

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