Anticipation

The plans are set, the slow ramp up has begun

The research behind me the appeal for support made clear

Now to endure the daily wrath before newness may settle in.

Another new treatment, oh help me make it to then Lord!

So much at stake if we do not win

This horrific battle of which I have hated so very much.

One thing is clear:  Who holds the future:

My Lord, my King in Whom I trust

Surely He grieves my suffering and waits with us.

My beloved is tired from the journey . . . so very loooong

Mere moments of goodness, many hours of strife

And yet he loves me just the same.

I am humbled.

Perhaps some goodness will come soon?

sunrise, path, beach, anticipation, waiting, tomorrow, sunset, summer

Moving forward with the next big thing

Sure is humbling sharing the nitty gritty of an ugly illness with the world.  Yet I would not be a good steward of the experiences the Lord has allowed in my life for His purposes if I hid them in shame.  So with courage and trust that this will be used for good someday, I share with you my newest video:

Please consider helping us out with our campaign covering us in prayer as we embark on this new treatment adventure for me.   We are hopeful again!

For more details on this amazing story, check out the posts below from this past week.  Thank you to all who have participated already.  We are humbled and exceedingly grateful!  🙂

And Godspeed Gentle Reader.  I appreciate you so!  JJ

The Next Big Thing

Pursuing the Next Big Thing

Julie’s Neuro Treatment

As you consider Holy Yoga: Part 1

Holy Yoga, pose, woman, mat, Christian, blog, evaluate, discernment

As an occupational therapist trained in therapeutic exercise and as someone who taught aerobic exercise in clinical settings years ago, I have always watched the trending in the health and fitness industry.  I recently explored various fitness certification opportunities as part of my continuing education requirements as an OT, including those oriented toward low impact dance and yoga.  ROM Dance  was part of my repertoire years ago when working in mental health settings.  Match these interests with keeping a close eye on the alternative health industry that came on the heels of the New Age movement of the 1990s.  Early on I decided to match all of these observations against the available clinical research and especially the truth of Biblical scripture as guiding lights.

So is there a back-story?  Yes, there’s more!  I am seeking a gentle, supportive movement  practice, ideally consistent with my Christian faith, to aid in my recovery from serious illness.  The trauma of this serious illness has left me with several medical complications, deconditioning, weakness, physical limitations, and an altered body awareness that I believe can get better.  I had been exploring and pursuing some possibilities in the world of dance, exercise, massage, and traditional occupational and physical therapies when along came Holy Yoga:  a “community of believers on mission to bring the Gospel to the ends of the earth through the modality of yoga.”

In a few blog posts, I will explore Holy Yoga and come to a personal decision about whether or not I will pursue it at this time.  I started my research at the Holy Yoga website then jumped right into some challenging viewpoints but not from the Christian or even medical communities.  Instead I listened to a lengthy YouTube video of Hindu philosopher, Rajiv Malhotra’s, interview of Holy Yoga Founder Brook Boon.  Talk about what the political world calls “opposition research!”  Below is the feedback I posted after viewing the interview.  My next steps will be to research the response of the Christian community and probably attend a class locally.

Here’s Part 1.  Stay tuned for Part 2!

Nice job Brooke Boon!  I might clarify to Mr. Malhotra that Jesus is God, the Holy Spirit is God, the Father is God:  the God of the Bible and NOT a manifestation of God.  Each person of the Trinity is one God, 3 persons.  Liken this to the fact that I am one human being but a wife, sister, and daughter or 3 person-alities.  Not an exact analogy but it can help understand that the one true God is a clear, Biblical distinction from the plethora of Hindu gods that are dead, powerless manifestations of their “god.”  But more on that theology is a discussion for another time.

Further, I really wish Mr. Malhotra would have had the decency to give Ms. Boon his interview questions beforehand, especially if he intended to debate the nuances of Hinduism and Islam in contrast to Christianity.  He said the interview was to be a “dialogue” however his theological questioning and word choices indicated otherwise.  His agenda to discredit Holy Yoga was polite yet clear.  For example, he said at the end of the video that Hindus must “be aware” and essentially wake up to what Christians were doing with Holy Yoga; he also claimed that Holy Yoga’s purpose was to evangelize.  Seems like evangelism may come with the Foundation’s outreach to victims of sex trafficking but wasn’t this an interview about the story, benefits and beliefs of Holy Yoga classes not the Foundation?  Might want to differentiate the two sir.

It was important for me as a born-again believer in Jesus Christ who is exploring Holy Yoga, to view this interview.  I saw clearly how someone who is not a Christian cannot fully understand the tenants of the Christian faith from, for example, literal translations of scripture.  These literal interpretations weaken Mr. Malhotra’s subtle challenges, arguments, and warnings about Holy Yoga.  Specifically, his references to “the law” were not about Roman law as he claimed but God’s law given to Moses (as documented in the God-inspired Old Testament) to help guide the nation of Israel.  The Mosaic law helped define right and wrong to a lost people, lost society, and provide guidance as to how to live.  It also instructed them on how to relate to God and atone for sins or wrongdoing.  This law was later replaced with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and New Testament teachings from Christ and His disciples.  Persons of various “religious affiliations” or “denominations” outside of Christianity seem to like to focus on “the law” concept instead of Christ’s concept of grace because they are used to the structure and constraints of rituals . . . as if it is the rituals themselves that make them somehow right or wrong:  better people or worse yet, right before their definition of God.  And their definition does not match that of the single God of the whole Bible.  Christians who are born-again believers are free to express themselves with various traditions, cultural garb, etc. (and even try on the dressings of others) but never look to them for salvation.  Cultural traditions/trappings have no inherent power.  Only faith in Jesus Christ alone can save:  bring us eternally into a right relationship with The One True God and eternal life.  It’s simple really:

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Of course we want to share our faith with others as our joy and calling as believers in Jesus Christ.  (Matthew 28:19-20).    Looks like a lot of fun to me, to find an established method of breathing an exercise while praising God!  Wish they didn’t use the Hindu words though, as it will be confusing to many who think that Holy Yoga is completely Bible-based.  There are gray areas for sure.  Holy Yoga borrows many traditions of Hinduism.  I hope that the classes clarify this for participants.  But is that enough to avoid it?  Or not find a way to enjoy its benefits?  Perhaps the earthly “gurus” of Hindu yoga could view the adaptation of the breathing and exercises of their yoga traditions as more of a compliment than a threat.  Such is the nature of humanity to not want their invention changed.  I am sure that the major drug companies don’t like competitors making generic copies of their drugs either!  But hey, children often imitate the characteristics of their parents and hopefully a lot of times this is a good thingy!  Imitation can be an expression of flattery, friendship, even love.

Because of the prevailing pull of the world on Jesus’ own disciples and their need to overcome it, Christ petitioned for divine intercession to keep his disciples “not of the world” by being sanctified through the word of God, which is truth (see John 17:16–17 below*).  Believers must guard our hearts in all pursuits with the truth of Scripture, spiritual armor (Ephesians 6), prayer, heeding the conviction/discernment of the Holy Spirit.  Mr. Malhotra quoted the apostle Paul extensively in his post-interview analysis.  Perhaps the apostle Paul just wanted to be friendly as he adopted some behaviors and garb of the people groups he was trying to reach out to with the hope found in Jesus Christ?  Surely we can understand this today.  Don’t we bring a gift a friend would like to his or her birthday party even if it is not our own favorite hobby, taste, brand, or preference?  Or let a co-worker listen to a CD of our music in hopes he or she will enjoy it and share it with others?  Let’s be clear, however, that the  lovely cultural trappings or activities that make life sweet are never equal to the incredible gift of salvation that comes from belief in Jesus Christ.

Please look beyond the rituals, the cultural trappings, the methods of exercise and breathing, the physical stuff of this world as you evaluate the practice of Holy Yoga.  Each believer in Jesus Christ must decide for him or herself, how to apply the real substance of the Bible (and of life for the believer) is the Word and the truth it professes to our daily lives.  Explore Holy Yoga with knowledgeable believers.  Pray about it.  Examine the world view of your particular instructor too.  And if everything checks out o.k., enjoy a really cool exercise/meditation class in the meantime.

JJ

*John 17:16-17 New International Version (NIV)

16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

I got to Walmart today

Days where I just exist

Give way to tears

More often than not

Everyday now.

Waiting no longer suits me

Although it is my garment

Worn through hopes dashed

Threadbare to no end.

I study like a school girl

Not sure where the letters lead

Thinking this is “it”

And it is not.

Surely it is darkest

Before the break of day

That is my hope I guess

And my Lord too.

So little do I do

As the grass grows tall

Alone too much too

At least I got to Walmart today!

Walmart, shower, Target, Meme, pajamas, old man, glasses

Treatment Update and Anniversary

Six years ago tonight began a journey that has tested me in every way possible; brought me closer to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, than ever before; deepened my love and gratitude for my beloved Steve; and helped me to grasp the incredible resilience of the human body/human spirit.  Thank you Lord for your sustaining grace through it all!

Rather than go into the details, I will simply refer you, Gentle Reader, to my story here.  Briefly, I got deathly sick with viral hepatitis after kayaking in a local reservoir and never fully recovered.  Seizure attack episodes began on a daily basis within a couple of months and have yet to resolve.  This serious illness has had many names, required extensive treatments at considerable expense, and rendered me unable to work in my profession of occupational therapy.  I miss working.  The social isolation, sense of loss, grief, and various disabilities have changed my daily life considerably.  Without my faith in Christ I would not have made it this far.  I do have hope for a better tomorrow which brings me to my quarterly treatment update as follows:

Recent lab tests found extremely high pesticide toxicity.  I immediately increased Far Infrared Sauna and various detox treatments until I could meet with my functional medicine Doctor.  Now after two intense weeks of exhausting research, medical appointments, and enough follow-up that would make the great T.V. detective Colombo proud, I am hoping that my Doctor’s office has processed a referral to a State Toxicology Center.  I found a neurologist that specializes in seizures related to toxicity and I want to see her as soon as possible!

In the meantime, I try to function as best as I can.  Sadly the very difficult titration of a new medication either keeps me up most nights or wakes me up with breakthrough tic attacks every two hours.  (I still spend most weekends in and out of bed with sickness.)  The focus now is to inhibit acetylcholine that we hypothesize is causing the seizures because of damage from organophosphate poisoning (OP).  Acute treatments for OP are well known but not for long term effects; we simply do not know how long I have had this toxicity.  The medication is an interim measure.  I am wondering if various Lyme, fungal, viral, and even parasitic infections have sequestered OP like these organisms can do with other toxic agents.  We know that detoxification can increase feelings of sickness called “herxing” (from release and recirculation of mycotoxins for example) when we either detox too fast or our liver or kidney pathways are blocked.  I now use bitter herbs with various binding agents in a “push-catch” protocol that helps to better tolerate the process.

organophosphate poisoning, round-up, pesticide, herbicide, toxicity, toxic, clonidine, seizures, treatment,acute

So here we go again with another new treatment direction!  At least this time I have concrete lab values to help explain what is going on along with a new, promising treatment direction.  In the meantime I’ll be hanging out as the “chick in the box” (as Steve says) at about 124 or more degrees, trying to literally “sweat it out” in our sauna. There will be no anniversary celebration per se for enduring six years of hell albeit with some sweet moments sprinkled in here and there.  There will be humility though as I try to be a godly steward of this journey my Lord has entrusted to my care.  I do have hope for a better tomorrow.  That is where this blog began 6 months into this 6-year journey and I hope that is where I will remain beyond that too.

Thank you for sharing the road with me Gentle Reader.  When I see my stats ticker go up a notch my spirit gets a little lighter, knowing you are there.  Thank you.

With love,  JJjer, 29:11, jeremiah, hope, future, plans, says the Lord, Christian