Tag: Christian blogging

The Writing is Divine

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Magazines have always held my interest more than novels, textbooks, or even the subtitles of an award-winning foreign film.  I just don’t have the attention span for more than a couple of thousand words in a row!  I guess that perfectly places me in the realm of the lone blogger, hacking out short articles of inspiration (or perspiration?) well into the dead of night.

And not everyone’s rants hold my fancy for the five to twenty minute allotment I’m willing to spend.  Take the Editor’s column in a popular automobile magazine that graces my husband’s setting at the kitchen table every month.  This car guy’s language is so thick with adjectives, metaphors, and strained attempts to make an inanimate, mechanical object organic that I grit my teeth to get from the beginning to the end.  Just say it plainly Sir Editor!  He probably has a journalism degree.  I suppose that gives him license to use more words, write longer sentences.  Not me.

I am moved by the languid composition of words that flows like butter running off a freshly boiled ear of corn.  Gotcha, didn’t I?  Just couldn’t resist!  Perhaps the best example of the terse and poetic, the impactful and inspired comes from God’s Holy Bible.  The Word of God is an amazing work that tells of the physical and supernatural, good and evil, things infinite and small, and everything in between.  Where else can reading a single verse change a person’s destiny forever?

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  (John 1)

In the wonderful mystery that is God, we find power in His Word and receive His indwelling Spirit when we come to know Him as Lord and Savior.  I do not claim to understand how this works by reading and meditating on a few chapters in the Bible.  Mentioning it here simply illustrates the finding that the power of a written word comes from the author’s mastery of the subject matter and his ability to communicate it to the reader.  For the Bible, the God of the universe brings us Himself and everything we need for life in His handbook for living as communicated to faithful men of God who wrote it down for us to read.  His Holy Spirit stirs within us as we dwell in the presence of the King’s scrolls.  Moreover, we come to understand who He is, His plan for our lives, and are drawn into fellowship with Him.  This fellowship can last forever if we but believe what He has written for us, summed up nicely in John 3:16:

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Now these are words that draw my heart and mind in a meaningful embrace:  the promise of living forever with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Such a simple message really and yet one that changes everything.  Let’s see it in action in a little longer passage from the Old Testament, often called the bedtime Psalm:

Psalm 121:  A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber; (italics added)

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Now I can sure wrap my mind around these timeless and comforting images written long ago.  I started a Bible-reading plan through “The Bible App” on my Android phone at the end of last year.  I love it!  (There’s even a narration option for listening to the verses spoken aloud.)  Reading 3 to 4 chapters per day beginning in the book of Genesis goes quickly in this plan for reading the entire Bible in a year.  While I do not understand all of the ancient culture, I am amazed at the Lord’s attention to every detail in the lives of His people.  His love and care translates to you and I as well in the present day, when we spend a little time reading His Divine Word.  I am so glad to have found the best writer of all time and hope that my own words will honor Him too.

Well, there it is.  Simply stated and inspired by the One who wrote this special message on my heart for me to share with you today.  No words are more important than His.  Will you join me in spending a little time reading the Bible each day?  I promise you that it will be worth any amount of time you devote to dwell in His presence.

Progress not perfection: it’s all in the details

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One of the slogans of the 12-step program is the title of my blog today.  Progress not perfection is my sentiment as I sit on the precipice of either potential progress or doom.  Or maybe it will be that it was doom and is now on its way to progress?  This is a mini treatment update.Progress Not Perfection

First, the potential doom:  I am reacting to most foods, supplements, meds., and treatments in a noxious manner lately.  Then, out of the blue I took a 1/4 scoop of sugar laden cholestyramine (CSM) to attempt to counteract the convulsions that came with 1/2 cup of homemade, oven roasted sweet potato fries.  I had added coconut oil and a clean protein to my quick lunch to balance any extra carbohydrates from the sweet potatoes.  Not sure if it was the carbs or some latent mold in the potatoes but I was down for the count, so to speak, within minutes.  I had a more delayed reaction to them and a couple of other things consumed together yesterday so I wasn’t that concerned.  Mistake.

So I cancelled my 2:00 p.m. IV magnesium treatment; I could not drive myself there.  I figured that I might as well get the CSM treatment over as it causes seizure attacks anyways, even with a 1/4 scoop loading dose of 1 gram.  And to my surprise, the attacks stopped!  I was still pretty wiped out though.  Perhaps there was a war going on inside my central nervous system and the victor was not yet declared.  So all I could do was veg out on the computer for a few more hours.  It sure beat the alternative of lying in bed shaking some more.  Maybe I should have tried to add to my 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night?  Oh well.  Decisions don’t come easy or get made well in this type of mental state!

Second, the progress:  my tolerance for CSM might be improving.  If it can stop the progression of a reaction then maybe I can take it without a reaction by itself.  I think I’ll give myself a day to recover then try to increase it to 2 doses tomorrow.  Lord willing, I may be onto something good!  And if that good lasts for more than 3 doses, well then we might actually have something really good.

CSM is a resin typically administered to lower cholesterol.  Persons with Lyme and mold illness use it in Dr. Shoemaker’s protocol to bind with mycotoxins that have a neurotoxin effect during treatment.  CSM removes the bad guys from the body (according to clinical research); there are some gastric side effects.  I was unable to tolerate it earlier this year during the stress of mold remediation of our home and had to discontinue even a low dose.

It’s dispensed as a very grainy powder with either massive amounts of sucrose or aspartame to cover the taste.  After calling 6 pharmacies and 3 drug companies last week (including being forwarded to an “off shore medical center” in India for one of them!) I hit a dead end trying to locate CSM without sweeteners.  Then a call to my favorite local compounding pharmacist revealed that the powder is indeed available but at incredible expense.  He would investigate further and get back to me.  In the meantime, the Massachusetts compounding pharmacy from which I get my VIP (vasoactive intestinal peptide) package arrived with a brochure that included CSM without sweeteners!  Their price is the same as what I pay for VIP.  It’s expensive.  Turns out that my local pharmacy cannot even purchase it for the price that the MA pharmacy would charge me.  Well then.  A plan is coming together.

Unfortunately my LLMD appointment was cancelled Friday.  I spoke with desperation to the not-so-friendly, overworked receptionist who notified me of the cancellation, pleading for an order for sweetener-free CSM powder from the MA pharmacy.  Have you ever given detailed information to someone on the phone then wondered if they were just pacing themselves on the other end of the line and not really taking any notes?  I had that feeling.  I had no idea if anything would happen until I could confirm everything with the phone nurse next week.  The weekend ended up with many wretched moments as I experimented with the sucrose-laden CSM.  Sugar feeds Lyme, Candida, and fungal/mold infections.  Not good.

So therein lies my caution with advancing CSM, my new wonder drug, until I have the sugar-free and aspartame-free version.  If I’m having mysterious trouble with sweet potato fries oven roasted in 3 types of organic cooking oil to offset the glycemic impact, then I ain’t gonna mess much with the sugary version.  Too bad that I get headaches with aspartame.  Or maybe it’s a good thing.  Aspartame can break down into formaldehyde and is associated with all kinds of health issues.  You know what they preserve dead corpses with right?  I’ll never forget the smell of formaldehyde from gross anatomy dissection lab in college . . .

Oops.  I’m on a bunny trail.  Well thank you for reading this rant and helping me to sort out a few things.  Since the recent expert evaluation of seizures at a major university hospital didn’t yield any new information, I’ve been wondering what the heck to do next.  A person with hours of multiple wretched events per day keeps looking for answers you know, with the brain cells that are left firing in the correct sequence.   The Lord has definitely powered the sustaining grace of this renewed  pursuit of CSM and any mental ability to write about it.

Oh, and some other progress:  just finished the final edits of my upcoming eBook Hope Beyond Lyme:  The First Year.  I’ll do a final read-through and copyright check then publish it online.  Stay tuned for some more good news!

Yeah Lord for anything good that happens from here!  Your strength is shining through once again.  This vessel is broken, cold, and quite spacey.  Help me finish the race you have set before me and publish this work you have created in me.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

*************

UPDATE:  The CSM is on it’s way across country from Massachusetts to Indiana!

There’s dirt under my fingernails!

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No matter what happens from here, I must rejoice:  there’s dirt under my fingernails!

Yes, in the middle of this wretched illness, with many projects on hold, the sun shone and there was a break in the noxious symptoms plaguing my life.  So what did I do?  I got outside and played in the dirt, that’s what!dirt under fingernails

Harvested the overgrown swiss chard.

Planted the tomato salsa coneflower I bought from a local nursery last week.

Watered!

Cut back a few perennials that the dead flowerheads were spreading their seeds where I did not want them to go.

Cleaned up the dead stalks of the daylilies in the front beds.

Harvested a few radishes and 3 monster carrots.

Tidied up a bit here and there.

Started the conversion of a raised bed into a massive mulch pile for the winter.

Finally trimmed a dead branch from one of the three variegated dogwood bushes.

Cleaned up the grass overgrowth from one of the two trees leftover from my Spring clean-up.  Mulched.

Played with my garden dog, very happy to be out and about with me in the yard.  Oh pups.  You da best.

Now why would I detail every aspect of these precious 2 1/2 hours?  Because I would rather work in my garden than do just about anything.  It grieved me terribly to waste a beautiful afternoon on Tuesday when I was a few minutes from going outside and my symptoms tanked instead.  The ordeal ended Wednesday morning.  And so my frustration has continued for two years, with what has become the “endurance race” of recovery from Lyme disease and mold illness.  The best coping strategy is to make no plans, hope for a little something, and rejoice when at least I get some decent sleep no matter what time of day it comes.

Then when you can go out and get some dirt under your fingernails, TELL THE WORLD!!!  Oh and water soaked my right gym shoe too.  And my knee pads (essential over age 50 you know) are encrusted with mud.  Ain’t it great?

Hang in there, Gentle Readers.  Sometimes something good happens when you least expect it.  :J

Too Pooped to Punt? Try Another Way!

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When the ravages of illness keeps me from working out, I hunt for alternatives to get my heart-a-pumping!  I recognize that even when we are sick we must keep our bodies moving for the benefits of exercise we all know and to prevent further complications, such as blood clots from inactivity.  This is a constant battle for me these days.  How about you?

In times like these I am hoping that even walking the dog to the mailbox and back counts as physical exercise!  Well, almost.  Exercise at the moment sure takes on a different form, gets performed at different times, and gets done with different strategies fer shure!  For example, twice this past week I got on our elliptical trainer for 10-15 minutes at 2 in the morning!  It actually helped me to relax before bedtime and took the noxious symptoms down a notch that can be worse if I am stressed in any way.  I am very grateful to have an elliptical trainer in my living room just for this purpose!

When I am able to do exercise with a little more intensity, I turn to my garden chores.  Digging in the dirt burns tons of calories but more importantly, it becomes resistive exercise for my lower torso and “lifting” for my upper body as well.  O.k. so I’m not recruiting all of the muscle fibers within the limited range of motion of scooping-and-throwing.  I’m hoping that the diagonal axis of movement actually counts more than the up and down motion of most curls, presses, lunges, and squats?  It’s more like a hybrid exercise that combines the core muscles, upper and lower extremities at the same time, right?

A gal has gotta do what she has gotta do for a time such as this.  That goes for you guys too.  If I have just enough energy on a Monday to lift some weights or re-dig a border around our pine tree, the pine tree is going to see me first!  I just make sure that I use the best body mechanics I can muster during the job, like lifting with my legs, keeping the load close to my body, and so on.  After all, I still am an occupational therapist deep down inside you know and this is the stuff I’ve been teaching patients for years.  The stuff applies to me too and preventing injury is important now when I am more deconditioned than conditioned!

And when that extra measure of energy-grace appears, I do not need a reminder to get out the foam roll, 3-10 pound weights, theraband, weighted bar, or therapy ball.  I still crave exercise!  Gratefully I am able to place these exercise tools within reach in our living room for a quick few reps at, well, 2 in the morning!  As long as it’s a shorter workout, those few reps still won’t keep me from going to sleep.  By the way, like most folks battling Lyme Disease, it’s common to be nocturnal.  The noxious symptoms are the lowest in the middle of the night so that ‘s the time I use to make jewelry for Trinity Jewelry by Design or get my office stuff done too.

I look forward to the time when I can have both a traditional schedule and a traditional work out routine.  Just before my time of illness began on October 11, 2011, I was completing the Metabolic Effects (ME) workout DVD a few days per week, kayaking with my hubby, and our local recreational group and either going for long walks or riding my awesome, custom fitted hybrid, cross bike every week.  I was at the highest level of strength, of fitness of my life at middle age.  Wow.  As I posted in a previous blog about returning to my prior level of fitness, I am Counting on Muscle Memory!  Lord willing, I’ll get back there.  Lord willing, I may even exceed my former level of fitness.  And this is entirely possible if I have less chronic pain in the future.  Wow.   This hope actually keeps me going during the trials of “bothering” to recover from Lyme Disease and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome.  Someday I very likely could be older, wiser, and better than ever.  Cool beans.

I am grateful to my step daughter-in-law, Kate Horney, for introducing me to a way of working out and of eating that has kept me from gaining weight during this time of illness.  She probably didn’t know that I was tracking her work on  Facebook, long before her successful fitness business.  More on that in a moment.  And when I would need to eliminate all forms of sugar in my diet due to Lyme Disease, because of my familiarity with what the ME folks call the fat-loss diet, the transition went smoothly.  Again cool legumes, not beans!

While I had followed a “protein-fat-vegetable diet” many years ago to eradicate a candida infection, the process in the past was very difficult.  I lost a lot of weight very quickly and was weak/shaky/miserable.  Using the ME approach to exercise more recently actually helped control my cravings for carbohydrates because of the hormone-balancing effect of resistive exercise.  This helped when I was exercising more two years ago and it helps now as well because I did not have to go through a rough transition again when eliminating simple carbs from my diet; they were already gone!  I was also already gluten free as well.  To be sugar and gluten-free are both are very helpful in battling Lyme Disease.  The spirochete bacteria of primary Lyme seems to feed off of simple sugars; gluten-laden foods makes everything worse as it can increase inflammation in sensitive individuals.   Wow again.  It’s like the Lord was preparing me for victory two years ago!

For more information on Kate’s work I invite you to check out her website at:  Beyond FitPhysiques.   While her latest book is titled for new moms, I found that it contains incredible weight and fitness strategies that can help all of us ladies who have bodies in transition, hormones adjusting to illness or post-partum changes, and who need a boost to get back on track.  Check out 101 Tips for Post-Natal Fitness and the Metabolic Effects Diet books by using the links under the NEW HOPE FITNESS RESOUCES in the right hand column of this blog.

Just writing this has energized me to do more than I thought I could do earlier today.  Gee Kate, I hope washing the hardwood floors counts too?!  :J

Beyond the Movie and the Video: Part 2

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In my last blog I shared the following resources for those wanting to learn more about the experience of Lyme Disease and the journey to healing:

— The movie:  Under Our Skin and

—  The video story of Christa and Justin’s experience with Lyme Disease.

Links to these two are in the References Section of the Categories in the right-hand column.  In this blog I’d like to go one step further.  In my humble opinion, the most important journey regardless of whether we are sick or well, however, has nothing to do with an illness.  The big, “It” in life to me is not determined merely by our attitude, our fitness, our success, our offspring, the work we do, the things we create.  I submit to you that what “it” is about in this life is where you land on the path to meaningfulness.

Research shows that on one’s deathbed many people ask:  was what I did, what I said, what I thought, whom or what I loved, what I experienced worth anything in the end?  King Solomon tells us many times in the Old Testament Book of Ecclesiastes that the stuff of this life in the end is all “meaningless, like chasing after the wind.”  Well if that’s coming from the wisest man that ever lived (next to Jesus Christ), putting our faith in the stuff of this life won’t get us anywhere!  So translated to my current life experience:  even if I recover from Lyme Disease and the associated illnesses, what does it matter if I have not wrestled with the larger questions of life?  And if this is true, why do I spend so much time and energy on the earthly things?  The answer is probably because I am weak and distracted from my Lord and Savior too much of the time.

I was reminded today by another blogger (The Busy Mom) that I would be wise to spend more time focusing on what the apostle Paul teaches in the New Testament Book of Philippians:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (4:8)

Sounds good.  These thoughts surely will create a positive effect on my healing from the inside out.  And further, the words of Sarah Young in her book Jesus Calling suggested that a spirit of thankfulness awakens my awareness to a multitude of blessings, cushioning the impact of the trials of life (p. 215).  She pointed to scripture that teaches we are to:

18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  (1 Thess 5:18)

Therefore if I were to dabble more in these words of scripture I would simply fill my thoughts as noted above.  Yeah but I still couldn’t do it in my own strength when the noxious symptoms and tasks of recovering from illness distract me from everything else, even God’s Word.  When I am so weak that I cannot lift my head off of the pillow, I submit to you that to fulfill these commands are impossible without the power, grace and love that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  The Holy Spirit of the Triune God must speak them into my heart. It is only with God, James also teaches us in the New Testament, that we can:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

And the rewards of following the Lord are worth it.  I won’t be lost in the rumination of my mind going over and over my sorry lot in life when I meditate on these words.  I will no longer be distracted by pain, my list of “have nots,” and my unfulfilled wish list for this stage in my life.  Exasperation will give way to peace.  And most importantly for me, the journey will not be wasted.  The journey will be rich with meaning, with discovery, with wonder.  The earthly emotions of emptiness, guilt, discouragement, despair, and so on will fade away.  Joy will come in the morning and in the night as well.

Those gentle readers who have died to self and trusted in the hope, promise, and saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, know what I am talking about.  We can turn to His Word that He gave us for countless reminders of how He loves us, sees us exactly as we are in the circumstances and circus of our lives.  We will never be alone whether in the midst of others or weary on our sick beds (Psalm 41:3).  The benefits outweigh the risks of letting go and letting the God of Creation enter into our hearts:  the One Who will come again in glory, restoring us to glory.  We will dwell in a heavenly realm with him forevermore and that is a time far beyond our wildest imaginations.  Forever with the Lord will be a time rich with meaningfulness!

Yes.  I have Lyme Disease and a whole host of things wrong with me and my life.  Yes. I am a child of the King Who goes before me, leads me, holds me, knows me, and is coming again for me and for you too.  I pray that you will join me in looking beyond your circumstances for a NEW HOPE BEYOND LYME.  It’s worth it!

Trading My Sorrows for the Joy of the Lord