It’s after midnight and the tilapia is chewy

The real title to this blog was to be:  “To submit is divine,”  but I thought that if I wrote that, no one would read it!  Who wants to submit to anything?  Hey, in my flesh and self-will, no way! 

This day I had to succumb anyways to the nausea, headache, half-day of seizure attacks, and relentless sickness that is Lyme Disease and Candida.  Oddly, it was lying in bed with my brain “fried” for hours and staring at the ceiling that the Lord gave me the quietness I needed to discover what might be making me sicker:  every stinking grain of sugar.  Most of us with Lyme, chronic illness and inflammation know the pitfalls of sugar.  I’d already broken my denial on that one earlier last year.  Sugar feeds Lyme and yeast infections (a common complication from antibiotic and bacteria-killing  treatments), messes with metabolism, weakens an immune system already under attack, and simply won’t satisfy the angst of my flesh for long enough to bother with a treat anyways.  And today it appears that some hidden sources are making me worse.

I am already on a “sugar-free diet” by the way!  Desserts are long gone.  I consume 1/4 serving of low-sugar fruit every other day, use only unsweetened products, omit artificial or herbal sweeteners (that contribute to headaches for me), cut out honey/maple syrup and so on.  Turns out that there’s sugar hidden in my probiotic that is supposed to be helping me!  Two doses I take daily equal 8 grams per day!  Oh no!  Coupled with the 2-4 grams in my “plain” coconut yogurt, my only real treat, that adds up to way too much!  Now that’s a bite in the shorts for sure.

I started to suspect something wasn’t right a few nights ago when I actually began craving my late night supplement concoction mix of coconut yogurt to make the various supplement powders and tinctures more palatable.  So instead I found alternate soft foods to use at night and allowed myself the coconut “treat” of 2 ounces only in the morning.  Can you imagine the restraint it takes to open a luscious carton of yogurt and only eat 2 ounces?  Yeah, I did it and felt a sweet victory.  And now that yogurt is my enemy with the HCL Synbiotic Probiotic.  I guess even the low sugar fruits must now go for a season as well.  This is WAR!

To submit to a drastic dietary change is very difficult and takes time to integrate into a nutritional plan for healing.  I wrote the “Extreme Dietary Survival Strategies” in the PAGES section of this blog to reflect the many guidelines I’ve already learned from others and from my own experimentation.  Looks like there are some new ones to add!  Geez o’ man.  Instead of mixing my supps with dreamy plain coconut yogurt, I’ll have to use coconut butter or unsweetened vanilla almond milk.  O.k.  I can do it.  If this change minimizes the symptoms that killed my day today, I will submit to a 100% sugar-free diet.

It is the nature of our flesh to want what we want, when we want it, and in the way or timing that we want it isn’t it?  When we want it is usually right now!  It is the nature of living in the United States where we have access to just about everything at just about any time of day or night, that makes it hard to delay gratification.  It is the nature of becoming a mature adult in a civilized society to learn that planning ahead, hard work, sacrifice, and patience will get us much more than grabbing things within reach.  However, beyond this it is the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer of Jesus Christ that knows for certain that the perceived barriers in our lives are merciful paths to true freedom and peace, even joy.  Such is the glorious mystery of living with Jesus in one’s heart, where He goes before us with love and grace every step of the way.  In the end we will receive more than we ever dreamed possible as we bring glory to our Lord and Savior for waiting on Him.  “The end” may not be next week; the end may transform into our eternity with Him as the crap of this earthly life has ultimately succumbed to His plan and purpose.  Our wants and needs may even change!

Seems strange that in the wee hours of the morning after some chewy tilapia, my mind would finally clear.  My tears have finally been wiped away.  The realization that to submit is to live is now here:  the authorities, the situations, the delays in my life are Christ-ordained and designed for my best self, best life after all.  I do not claim to understand why I or you must go through all of this suffering, loss and pain in the way that we each experience it.  Let’s pray about it.  The answer to the “why” question is often left to the mysterious unanswered questions of life.  I do claim to know the One who reveals Himself to me in His perfect timing with gentleness and love.  I do claim to have faith in my Jesus who has promised me that He will be with me through it all.

I’ll betcha tomorrow is going to be a better day.

Let’s wait with great expectation together, k?

8 thoughts on “It’s after midnight and the tilapia is chewy

  1. Keep positive! I’ve had chronic Lyme for 9 years and have now almost done a year with very little symptoms…please see my post from today, it maybe useful…keep fighting!

  2. Hey my friend we are on a very similar journey. I have had a terrible recurrent yeast problem as well, and systemic swelling that drives me crazy. Although I was already on a very strict diet (yes sugar free as well) my naturopath took it a step further and had me go dairy and starch free. This has really helped. It has been difficult because all the wonderful dairy alternatives out there (almond and coconut based) are full of of tapioca starch, xanthan gum and other additives which are hard on the gut, and feed SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)
    which can have similar symptoms to candida and go hand in hand with it. Also beware of anything that has erythritol (truvia) which actually is a sugar alcohol and can feed bad bacteria, stick to stevia only.
    Good luck! It is a hard fight

    1. Hi Jennifer: I just re-read this tonight and wondered if you are still starch free? I have found that coconut milk and cream from Asian food stores are very clean when it comes to additives. The cream very yummy and can be made into sauces or even mashed with avocado for a great dressing. :J

      1. Good evening Julie! Yes, still starch free. Thank you for the tip on coconut milk. I do use canned coconut milk and have bought some pretty clean brands at whole foods, can’t think of the brand names right now. I also use it in ice cream and smoothies 🙂 There is a huge asian market store 40 minutes from where I live, I will check out there coconut milk brands next time I go

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