Lyme disease – Page 14 – Jesus is for the Wounded

Pretty things make me smile!

Published on August 29, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

Here’s a sampling of some of some pretty things that are bringing a smile lately. Simple, colorful, easy on the eye and pocketbook too. All from my middle of the night shop: Trinity Jewelry by Design

Breast Cancer Awareness Adjustable Necklace

Each one represents a collection and all are handmade by yours truly. The Friendship Necklace design features an authentic friendship bracelet from the Threads of Hope ministry. Check the “About” page for more information about these artisans.

SPECIAL: Enjoy free shipping and packaging with coupon code ANNIVERSARYSALE for orders placed in the USA this month (August 2014).

Sweet dreams, JJ

Lyme Disease Awareness Bracelet with Spirochete Design

Friendship Necklace or Bracelet with Seahorse Charm

Adjustable Genuine Leather Loop Bracelet

It’s only a matter of time

Published on August 25, 2014August 25, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

Let’s see. If I had a timer going for a few events these past few days, this is how I would measure up:

Friday: Made dinner. 1 1/2 hours.
Saturday: Unloaded compost with hubby and tinkered with a few garden tasks. Made dinner. 3 hours.
Sunday: Sat outside. Posted some new jewelry on Etsy and surfed the net. All day.

The rest of the time was characterized by self care, supreme sickness and recovery. Who knew that seizure attack episodes on Friday and Saturday could take on a violent, writhing character for 10 minutes straight of unbelievable hell? I am so very glad that the other episode of 2 hours of non-stop seizing plus aftermath would not take me to the emergency room in the middle of the night, early Saturday morning. Alas, my beloved got a few hours of sleep. But today it’s just sad that I missed my husband’s shooting class. All of this is a really big bite in the shorts, I tell ya.

As it turns out the most difficult issue for me to face during these last almost 3 years of illness is a “waste of time.” I value the meaningful use of my time more than money, people, places, and things. It’s just how I am wired and I don’t want to spend a 60-minute counseling session trying to figure out WHY! This aspect of illness really cuts to the core of my being. I will, however, submit my will to the wisdom of my Heavenly Father. Perhaps it is a supreme opportunity to soften this issue of time measuring value for me. Value is not measured by time in the eyes of the Lord. Value is measured by simply being. (Now that’s another topic for another time!) Maybe today I should explore the topic of time in a walk through His Word?

God created time. Genesis 1:14 ¹⁴And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,

Time will end, thereby increasing its value. Revelation 10:6 King James Version (KJV) ⁶And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever, who created heaven, and the things that therein are, and the earth, and the things that therein are, and the sea, and the things which are therein, that there should be time no longer:

There is a time for everything, good and bad. Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Time is measured by God. All things happen in His appointed time. We are to wait patiently for His divine timing of both the events of our lives and the events prophesized in the Bible. Daniel 12⁷And I heard the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left hand unto heaven, and sware by him that liveth for ever that it shall be for a time, times, and an half; and when he shall have accomplished to scatter the power of the holy people, all these things shall be finished.⁸And I heard, but I understood not: then said I, O my Lord, what shall be the end of these things?

⁹And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

¹⁰Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.

¹¹And from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days.

¹²Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days.

¹³But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days.

We have no idea when things will really happen or not happen. Better to keep our eyes fixed on the Lord our God. The most important event is His return in glory. Mark 13³²“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ³³Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. ³⁴It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.³⁵“Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. ³⁶If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. ³⁷What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

God ordains certain tasks in the lives of believers at certain times until our days are over. When in doubt we are to fast and pray that the Holy Spirit may counsel us, lead us, comfort us through our days. Esther Chapter 4. ¹⁴For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”¹⁵Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: ¹⁶“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

Our time is to be spent gaining wisdom among other tasks He ordains for us to do. Psalm 90:12 ¹²Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

We are to spend our time in meditation on the things that matter most. This requires inactivity! Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Time spent with the Lord is infinitely multiplied as He is timeless. 2 Peter 3:8 ⁸But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

God orders the steps, the events of our lives for His divine purposes. They are not random. They are not without meaning or purpose. Proverbs 16 ⁹In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

His plans include blessing, a future and a hope. In this promise we can find rest. Jeremiah 29. ¹¹For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And yet we are to live fully in the moment and consider the future according to His will. James 4 ¹³Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Not only are the events and timing of our lives planned as part of His will. They are ordained for His glory! Ephesians 1. ¹¹In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹²in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

O.k. I think I’m getting a better perspective on things! Not only does my Lord and Savior care for all of the details of my life (Psalm 139), He carefully constructs the timing of everything as well. When I am up late at night writing this blog I remind myself that it is an honor when someone reads what I have written. You, Gentle Reader, have chosen to spend some of your valuable time with me. And if I have succeeded at any level to bring each of us closer to the throne of grace, the love of Jesus Christ, well that is time well spent indeed for both of us. To Him be the glory. May He mark our time for His purposes. After all, it’s only a matter of time. There is so very much more . . . JJ

If the story made a difference

Published on July 28, 2014July 28, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded4 Comments

A blog is an interesting vehicle in one’s life. You get to write about anything you want and just about anyone, anywhere can read it. At least that is how this blog is structured. Funny thing is that once you get going on a particular topic, there’s a high likelihood that you might reveal a little more about yourself than you might if you were in person. The ideas just flow when here alone at the keyboard and if it is a personal blog (instead of a professional or business forum) well things can get personal quite easily! If you are honest, that is!

Why bring this up? Well I have come to realize that some tragic events in my childhood are influencing the nature of my recovery from illness. The question I have grappled with of late is whether or not to write about it. Oh the story is juicy enough to draw some interest and you bet I’ll let you know how the Lord has helped me endure and overcome the pain of it all. Healing has come for these hurts because of the love of my Heavenly Father manifest in my personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit has guided the process: providing counsel, “Jesus with skin on” in the form of loving sojourners, helpful tools, and His glorious written Word leading me to hope. So why share the hairy details anyways?

Possibly I would because horrific illness may trigger past hurts for others more than me. I don’t want you to feel alone if that is part of your story. New trauma often stirs up old wounds: at least the one we might find are not fully healed. We might not know that they are not fully healed until something new happens in our lives as in the course of serious illness. I view many of these events as “another involuntary growth experience” and am often left feeling more whole when I work through the tender issues correctly. The problem is that when you happen to mention to a medical professional that waking nightmares, seizures, involuntary screaming episodes, and convulsions have triggered scenes that might be from your past YOU GET A PSYCHIATRIC LABEL AND THEY STOP TRYING TO TREAT THE MEDICAL ILLNESS. This is frustrating indeed! The medical illness came first. Healing secondary issues is a bonus, like clearing out cobwebs in a musty garage. Cool beans and all that jazz. Keep the treatment focus on the root cause people!

So for me to share old or emerging facts from my abusive past runs the risk of my physical symptoms not being taken seriously. Convulsions require serious examination, eh? I paid dearly this past Saturday for venturing out on a private lake for my husband’s canoe and kayaking class hosted with a friend. Even though the water was treated with blue dye to prevent algae growth, it was there anyways. I have never had such violent, animalistic, horrifying convulsions in these 2 1/2 years of seizure attacks as I did one hour after I returned home. You would not believe the level of torment I endured continuously for 2 wretched hours! The rest of the evening was awful too with a rebound of episodes on Sunday. I lost over a day of my life in payment for enjoying a paddling outing with my beloved and some friends. The biotoxin illness won and I lost. Tell me how this is all in my head as the working out of an unhappy childhood? NO WAY.

If the story of my sorry childhood made a difference to the “Hope Beyond” I would like the Gentle Reader to find, I would write about it here. However in doing so I would risk selling myself short in the process for those who might not follow my whole story. One of my blogs generally covers only one topic as in a chapter of a book. Further, reading a posting about a waking nightmare that was remarkably similar to a very bad day a long time ago would put the focus on the past and not on the exposure to cyanobacteria earlier that afternoon. And in the end we bloggers don’t need to share everything about ourselves to be heard, to make a difference in the literary world. We only need to be genuine to ourselves, to our subject matter. Should I need to share a scene from my past to make a point I might do so briefly. To say more will put the focus in the wrong place. I need to keep my eyes fixed on my great expectation for what lies ahead of me (and all who believe), in the glorious presence of my Lord and Savior. One day when my life on this earth is over He will make right all that was not right back there and heal me then, if not sooner. I believe there will be a blessing for my stewardship of the experiences, sacrifices, ministries, and choices of humility He allowed in my life if I have succeeded in acting according to His will. And if I have acted according to His will then it is only because He helped me to do so! This stuff is way too hard to make it on my own.

The story that truly makes a difference is not mine. The story that has the power to transform the lives, the hearts of mankind is that of the person of Jesus Christ. Let His own Words of His life, His pain and suffering as chronicled in the Gospels (the first 4 books of the New Testament in the Bible) lead you to His throne of grace. Lay your burdens before the One Who is, Who was, and Who will forever be. Let His love redeem the pains of the past so that both you and I may live freely in His presence forevermore. What great fellowship we shall enjoy one day soon! What great joy we will know when He calls each of us by name Who knows Him as Lord and Savior. Oh how I long to hear His stories of how much He loves us, He takes our prayers to the Father, and has prepared a glorious place for us to dwell in together: Him and I; you and Him; the fellowship of believers; the cherubim and seraphim. Yeah that’s where my focus outta be!

Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)

⁸Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Oh yeah! Now that’s some great writing! ;J

The life I once lived

Published on June 26, 2014June 26, 2014 by Jesus is for the Wounded2 Comments

I’ve taken on a few phrases from others and made them my own over the years, ones that put a bunch of thoughts into a phrase or short sentence. Not that these would bode well as my epitaph or anything like that mind you! They just seemed to stick with me. Here’s a biggie from an old supervisor named Jim. He was a social worker by training and the director of the inpatient geriatric psychiatric unit where I was contracted to work. When asked how things were going he would often reply:

“Same story, different day.”

Funny thing is that it was largely true. On the Generations Unit there generally was at least one person every day screaming non-stop, voiding in an inappropriate location, wandering into another patient’s room unannounced, refusing to eat, refusing to get out of bed, or making up a story to convince him and psychiatrist that he/she did not need to be there. Yes it was a crazy place. That’s what you get when the nursing homes send their residents whose behavior can no longer be managed in their facility. It is also where a depressed little old lady or your suicidal Uncle Pete would go for supportive therapies, meds., daily structured activities, and a round of ECT if needed (aka shock therapy!). The latter actually worked very well for older adults. The short term memory loss and massive headache was a major drag for awhile, however!

I worked there as an occupational therapist. My role was to evaluate the functional level of the patient and assist the team in forecasting discharge plans while providing therapeutic activities. The goal was always to achieve improved mental status, mood, and functioning for discharge to the least restrictive environment. That might translate to a person returning home instead of assisted living or remaining in a private room in a nursing home instead of a locked dementia unit. Sometimes the patient’s goals were reached and sometimes not. Educating the family on the patient’s needs post discharge was also my role: an important and sometimes delicate process. I loved all of it. I got to apply my skills in standardized assessments, grading activities for the best outcome in lower and higher level cognitive groups, patient and family education, and knowledge of community resources that may be of assistance post discharge. The two latter skills were collaborated with the unit social workers who also loved working with older adults. We had a great team back then . . .

I’ll never forget the two weeks that c-diff ran rampant through the unit. C-diff is short for Clostridium difficile: an infection of the colon causing horrific diarrhea and inflammation. It’s a bacterial infection I can now diagnose by smell. O.k. perhaps that’s too much information? When virtually all of the inpatients become sick it is only a matter of time before the staff contract the infection as well. There are just too many common areas in a locked unit that too many people end up touching with a contaminated hand after caring for a patient. The motto those days was, “please pass the yogurt” or something similar!

Ruth was the best during situations like that. She was older than me and had been a Certified Nursing Assistant for years. She could get the toughest old bird to take a shower when he was resisting for days then she would turn around and feed a tender soul in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease bringing out the patient’s long-forgotten smile producing a long-lost twinkle in her eye. Ruth often told us stories of her pet pot-bellied pig. Seriously! The beast weighed a couple hundred pounds but was part of their family, inside the house, potty-trained and behaved like a favorite feline or pup. I could not imagine it! Ruth lived in a suburban neighborhood like the rest of us! Actually more recently while living in a smaller town with Amish homesteads not far away I can now start to imagine it a little better. It’s still not for me, however!

The life I once lived was in the suburbs of Chicago amongst 8 million other people. I was married and lived in a townhouse as it was the only affordable option even for two Master-degreed professionals or DINKS: double income no kids. We attended a mega church then a smaller Bible church, organized a yearly block party in the court of our neighborhood, and took walks together in regional parks called Forest Preserves. I enjoyed neighborhood walks and riding my hybrid bicycle (between that designed for road touring and trail riding). Holidays were spent with family in various cities as everyone was out of State for our Illinois locale. Sure there were ups and downs with health issues or financial stressors but largely each day of our lives was the “same story, different day.” When this got to be too much for my former spouse he found a way out and took it. Hmmmm. Alternately I found that you don’t really need a way out, per se. Sometimes the “difference” we are seeking finds us as part of the Lord’s plan for our lives and it comes from within us instead of in the form of persons, places, or things . . .

Flash forward a myriad of moves of my residence, a change in the car I was driving, changing my job four times, transitions to new hair and clothing styles, some weight loss, and eventually moving to Indiana to marry Steve — over 10 years later I rarely say that old phrase anymore. Oh even if nothing much has changed lately in my health or the circumstances of battling a serious illness, there are always new discoveries meeting me each day. Things simply cannot be boring when you marry a man with as much energy as Steve! He keeps me going just keeping up with all of his activities even when he is not home! First there’s his four adult children and their families, then there’s his hobbies and sports, and his participation in the worship of our Lord Jesus Christ; the latter always brings news related to our church fellowship in addition to an intriguing message from the pages of the Bible. That’s a lot to keep track of and I love it. My garden, online jewelry business, and this blog fill in much of the rest of the time not taken with health-related activities. How could I ask for more when my heart is full?

Sure my life has changed in the last decade or so and I’ll bet it’s the same for you too, Gentle Reader. Is that o.k. with us? As for me I would never have asked for the difficulties that have come in recent years that have added more “excitement” and stress than I could ever have imagined. The crazy thing is that I would also have never known how to ask for the blessings that have come from this particular path either. I would not want to be without the blessings just to have had an easier life. I believe that I am exactly within the will of my Heavenly Father, that He has His hand on my life and my heart warmed in the shelter of His mighty wings. He goes with me, goes before me this moment and the next; there are signs of His wonders sprinkled everywhere in my days. I am so glad that I am not bored with my life. Well yes of course there are times I’d like a little less “excitement!” Yet that’s when I need to rest my cares at His throne of grace, allow Him to carry me like the famous Footprints in the Sand poem so graphically portrays, or wait on the Lord in the quietness of a moment of prayer . . .

I’m going to keep my head up and do like my brother, Mike, always used to say: “keep moving forward.” The life I once lived is gone but not forgotten. Those memories bring gratitude for all that the Lord has placed in my life today: a story that is never really the same. In time my Lord will make all things beautiful. In the meantime though I think it is finally time for me to go to bed! There is a calmness in my spirit at last. The sun is coming up and the birds are singing their morning hello just outside my window. For me it will serve as a happy goodnight lullaby as I snuggle up to my intended beloved who brings me more joy than I could ever imagine. Real love and more is here now.

Yes, Lord, it will be a good day I think. :J

Puffy white clouds and 5 sparrows

Published on June 22, 2014June 22, 2014 by Jesus is for the WoundedLeave a comment

⁶Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. ⁷Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12

At first it looked like a gentle breeze flowing through the branches of the variegated dogwood bush outside our bedroom window. Puffy clouds drifted past the backdrop of the truest “sky blue” you could desire on an early summer afternoon. Such a simple scene, peaceful too. Then again the rustling appeared to come from below my view. Was there, wait, yes maybe there’s a little critter in there moving the branches about? And lo there she was: a lone house sparrow spritely jumping about within the leaf cover in and out of my view just a few feet away. Better not move a muscle or I might disturb the work of my feathered friend. Does she know that I could almost reach out and touch her marbled wings if the screen window didn’t separate us, didn’t provide secluded freedom for your Saturday play . . .

The little one flew away as my gaze returned to the light blue walls next to the bed inside the window. Maybe if I waited just a little longer another visitor would appear? To my delight the green-with-white birdhouse was rustling again from the top, the bottom, and even just beyond my view! Let’s see: there’s one, two, three . . . a fourth appeared and darted deeper into the cover of leaves as a fifth little birdie perched right in front of me too. Silly little one. He began preening his ecru-colored chest feathers without a care in the world as the branch bobbled up, down, and all around. He reminded me of my brother’s childhood parakeet, Perky. How they flex their necks so steeply to reach the soft feathers that form a collar of fluff I’ll never know. Such a curious, skittish, carefree creation indeed. Then in a matter of a few seconds, they all flew away . . .

I was alone again. Maybe I could try to move my head and adjust the comforter covering my chilled shoulders? Yes, that’s good. But to move my legs and arms was not to be just yet as my attempt to do so triggered another mini seizure attack episode. Sigh. I thought I would be recovering by now. Not so. Oh well, when my husband comes back I’ll ask him to bring me the lunch I had made myself earlier and put into the frig in case we were to go out on our tandem outrigger canoe this afternoon. What a nice treat I thought it would be to have something made ahead of time that fit my special diet and tasted yummy too. Not quite. Gratefully it wasn’t too long before he returned to check on me, brought me the container of rice paper finger sandwiches and fed me several bites, one by one. Then he put the bicycle water bottle to my mouth so I could sip some water and wash down the food sticking to my throat as I lain sideways on the bed. A few bites, a long sip, a few bites, a long sip. He has this routine down pretty well by now. Thankfully these complete neurological collapse episodes only happen every 10 days lately. They used to be every couple days . . .

In time my strength returned and I was able to put a pillow under my own head and feed myself. Unfortunately something triggered a major seizure jolt when my beloved returned, setting me back again for awhile. He was sitting close to me and I suddenly needed some fresh air from outside the window. Stevers obliged then left me alone again to recover per our routine for these sort of things. Again I revived. Eventually I was able to weakly get out of bed and start to put on some clothes. That’s a nice thing to do after a shower at 2 in the afternoon. I was feeling a little funny lying there naked rolled up in the comforter. Oh well. It’s the best I could do after beginning to collapse in the shower an hour earlier, struggling to dry myself off, and Steve helping me lie down as it appeared I would be falling over any moment. Flash forward almost two hours as the episode was resolving I was grateful to be able to move my left arm again. Looks like I would be o.k. albeit shaken for several more hours anyways . . .

Sitting outside in the sunshine helped me regain my strength. Of course I had another one of my low oxalate snack concoctions (white chocolate!) and a refill of cool water in my trusty Summit City Bicycles and Fitness water bottle. Little did the guys at the shop know how helpful that bottle had become when I needed a special flow-control mouthpiece to refresh me when in bed, not on the Fort Wayne River Greenway! Maybe someday soon I’ll get back on my bike. I am grateful to have had a test run of two miles earlier this Spring; I should be able to repeat a short ride on a better Saturday afternoon really soon, Lord willing. How hard could it be to peddle a few miles? Well anyways sitting outside on our patio later this afternoon with pretty gardens all around me and the sun still shining brightly overhead did me a world of good. The puffy white clouds still filled the sky and I could hear sparrows, robins, and more in the distance. I got up to pluck a few weeds, pick a few radishes, tinker here and there before returning into the house. Perhaps my beloved would understand that this day would be better spent at home than paddling on a lake somewhere? Change of plans. Enduring these kinds of afternoons together makes it obvious what we should do, more than words can ever say . . .

The rest of the day was decent as I prepared a nice dinner and some food for tomorrow in case we are able to reschedule our outing on the water together. I do try to be hopeful, eh? As most Gentle Readers would recognize in this blog we tend to live our lives over here a bit spontaneously: making plans more at the last minute, in the afternoon or evening, and after checking the weather report/Julie’s snack supply/whatever we can reschedule to be able to get away . . .

This evening? Not so nice. We are just not sure what is going on with these wretched evening episodes again. After a full year of 1-3 hour episodes virtually every night after dark and up to 30 minutes most mornings, you would think one of these specialists I’ve seen would have figured it out! Yes, my melatonin level is off the chart and melatonin levels change at night. I am getting out in the sunshine just about every day, exercising at night, avoiding foods with tryptophan (that tends to elevate melatonin) and more per my internet research on the subject yet the excess must be persisting. (Labs to follow!) Then my new biotoxin doctor laid a good one on me yesterday, saying that if anyone could figure out what to do IT WOULD BE ME SINCE I KNOW MY SITUATION THE BEST. Whaaaat? Why do you think I pursued your clinic out of State? I was hoping YOU could figure it out! Even my brilliant functional medicine doctor in addition to your brilliant functional medicine colleague have largely set me adrift. Now you are saying since I cannot tolerate Dr. Shoemaker’s biotoxin protocol that you cannot help me either? If you think I was able to figure this out would I be calling you? Geez oh man. Lord, come what may . . .

Back to the story of the bird in the hand is worth two in the bush OR wait a minute: there aren’t any birds here right now since it’s after 4 in the morning! Yes, I’m back to my late night schedule again. Let’s see . . . perhaps Luke 12 can remind me that just as the Lord provided me a sweet distraction of His delightful creation in my time of distress, He cares for me and for Steve in our times of distress too. He has provided for our needs despite the incredible expenses, sustained us during multiple special events when extraordinary measures were needed to keep me as safe as possible, and granted me the time and space to get well when I cannot work. I am grateful for my incredibly loving husband, a pretty home and gardens to enjoy when I cannot go out, and sparing of my abilities to think take care of my basic needs. Sometimes I need to wait for the Lord’s timing on some of these things which is o.k. too. I have learned to appreciate blessings in smaller packages with gratitude as they present themselves each day . . .

So I choose to take to heart His statement, His promise to care for all of the details of my life. He knows all about what is happening over here and desires for me to be courageous, not afraid. He has laid it on my heart that He has a plan and a future for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and that nothing will separate me from Him or His will (Romans 8:38). I get this. Perhaps it’s why I don’t spend as much time crying anymore when the wretchedness comes. Instead I’ll say,

³Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5 (ESV)

With the lightness of heart shown to me by my Creator God this afternoon in my time of need, I’ll take the last word of the paragraphs granted by His grace and noted above:

This new day will come anyways, and no matter what may come or others may say, I will find a way to play with lightness of heart in celebration of the One who goes before me and will never go away!

Thank you Jesus for your Word, for your gift of words. Thank you for helping me get through that to which you have called me and should any good shine through may it be for your glory Lord. If it is your will I ask for your healing mercies and a time of blessing. I lift up my husband (Steve), and my brother (Mike) too for your anointing and blessing. If there is anything hindering our walk with You, please guide us, restore us through your Holy Spirit so that we may delight in sweet fellowship with you all of our days.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.