finding hope – Page 2 – Jesus is for the Wounded

The darkest time of night

Brings hope in ways not the norm:

When breathing is restored and the room stands still

My mind clears and my Lord speaks in ways never heard before.

He knows my frame

And delivers me once again

With less pain overall these days

And more wisdom than trauma for all the suffering.

For alas I can go

To such a wretched place

Time and again whilst wondering “why?”

Only to find hidden answers just for me, in the those tender places.

Not all makes sense

And that can be o.k. in the end

When I know the Lord is at the helm

And uses my suffering for His glory, my healing, to bring light, and more.

No, it was not wasted

When I found you who came along

This way with me where the blackest times of night

Served to shine streams of sunshine into days once lived in shades of gray.

Oh to keep mediocrity!

That would be dreadful indeed.

To never see beyond vanilla, boring landscapes

Creeping traffic in the middle lane when the Audubon beckons in a Ferrari 458.

Mach 1 with your hair aflame

Is bound to singe your eyebrows too

But how will you know if you are truly alive my dear

If you have not seen, tasted death along the edges of life truly lived whoot, whoot?

Because when it is over

A job will be waiting for you as me:

To tell our stories to those stuck in the dark

Or on an exit ramp on the wrong road they once thought went nowhere too.

There is always more

Even when our breaths are numbered

When we each see the door to the last destination

And can no longer wonder if we did too much or too little when our past cannot change.

The door to eternity awaits us both dear one:

With adventure of which we cannot conceive;

A place filled with wonder and no more tears

Where our heart will be home, finally, at last.

Will you risk this to be true and come to Him?

Will you lay down your fight, the need to know

To let Jesus Christ be your true reason to live:

The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end.

Even when in our hearts we must let Him reign

Leading our thoughts and quieting all our fears

Adding His increase when no strength remains.

Finding this kind of peace transcends all we see:

We will find more than the mind can imagine for

We will live at peace I tell you for this I have seen.

:JJ

Gotcha! ;J

In the words of Billy Graham:

Some people think Christians should always be smiling and happy, and something is wrong if they aren’t.

But this isn’t necessarily true. Jesus stood outside the tomb of his friend Lazarus, and we read that, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). As he approached Jerusalem “he saw the city and wept” (Luke 19:41) because of it’s spiritual blindness and guilt. He knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane and was, “. . . in agony [and] his sweat became like great drops of blood” (Luke 22:44)

Don’t confuse happiness with joy. Happiness comes with happy circumstances; joy wells up deep inside our souls as we learn to trust Christ. Joy does not mean that we are never sad or that we never cry. But joy is a quiet confidence, a state of inner peace that comes from God.

Life’s troubles will rob us of our happiness, but they can never rob us of the joy God gives us, as we turn in faith to Him and seek His face.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

From “What is joy?” in Hope for each day, (2002). Thomas Nelson, Inc. p. 338.

I get this and hope you do too, Gentle Reader. Few things can rob your happiness like waking up in the middle of the night 8-10 times with convulsive episodes and a massive headache. It probably wasn’t nice for my beloved husband Steve either, awakened from a sound sleep lying next to me. The aftermath for me felt like I banged my head in every direction against a wall. Not fun at all! Gratefully the dream I later woke up in the middle of (after more seizure attacks falling asleep) was a reasonable one. I mean that we had experienced something similar just under 2 years ago so it wasn’t that bad really.

I dreamed that Steve and I had moved temporarily into an apartment while some work was being done on our home only to have all of our belongings and the inside of the apartment become covered cascades of dust! Yeah, that was not good for someone multiply chemically sensitive like me knowing that mold is often lurking in dust. The situation was beginning to resolve when I woke up. Phew! It was just a dream! This time the headache was less and the convulsions were replaced with less violent seizure attacks. They actually helped clear my head some . . . and yet I still felt beat up. The next few hours were meaningless . . .

Regardless, I have joy! How is this possible you may ask? Well, it’s just like the quote from Billy Graham noted above. I have learned to trust Christ in all things, wretched or not. Of course I cry in sorrow when a new treatment intended to help me makes things worse for awhile. Call it a healing crisis, herxheimer reaction, or the like. It’s a bite in the shorts any way you slice it! But that doesn’t change anything between my Savior and me. He meets me on my bed of sickness and weeps for my suffering. This is not His intention for me yet at the same time my suffering will not be wasted because He has a plan for my life. Maybe one part is this: I am hoping that my suffering provided an illustration here of HOPE IN ACTION. I pray that it will encourage someone out there who is suffering too. HE CARES FOR YOUR SUFFERING TOO and will see you through it!

One day all of our strife and worry will be over as He makes our joy complete when He comes again in glory: with unimaginable happiness too! This promise holds true for those who love the Lord and call Him Savior. If you are suffering, please do not let that stop you from seeking the best hope you have in your pain: the person of Jesus Christ. His love covers ALL. In Him, you will find a joy that will transcend it all. Gentle Reader, please do not confuse happiness with joy. JJ