The Nurse Who Wore Perfume

 

Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

After about 4 hours breathing fresh oxygen being pumped with fluids, I revived after a most bizarre episode.  The Benedryl made things worse yet brought about 12 hours of slumber on and off into the next day.  Whew!  What an ordeal it was . . .

Such is life when battling biotoxin illness, multiple chemical sensitivity, mycotoxicosis, Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome, or what-is-formerly-known-for-me-as Chronic Lyme Disease.  On Saturday I was counting the dollars and quarters from the neighborhood girls who bought friendship bracelets at our garage sale.  I noticed a familiar perfume scent on the money that reminded me of a houseguest not long ago.  Perhaps it was Flora by Gucci again?  Anyways, no sooner had I zip-locked everything into a sandwich baggie when I started to feel sickly.  Bizarre and violent seizures followed, ramping up and ramping down over the next hour.  Holy crap!

I knew I had overdone things somewhat working the garage sale and doing some yard work the day before.  But hey, we had some things to get rid of and were delighted to pass some items along for free.  The girls who bought the bracelets were adorable!  I couldn’t resist letting my initial Trinity Jewelry by Design originals go for 1/6 the original asking price just to see the smiles on their faces.  Of course the older sister next door would need and extra one for her sister who was away at a dance competition so 2-for-1 would be the best deal for her.  Same thing applied to her sister’s best friend who was in the midst of a little object lesson about not taking money from her mother’s purse to buy bracelets!  Lesson was learned and we had smiles all around.  I was so delighted to send them along and tell them the significance of the 3-bead design (for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!).  They looked down at their bracelets like they were hearing it for the first time.  That’s cool.  As they wear them each day I pray that the Lord brings more promptings of His love and gift of salvation through the Holy Trinity.

It’s Monday, I am breathing better today, and I feel reasonably stable.  The windows have remained closed as every-other neighbor seemed to be getting their lawns treated today with fertilizer and pre-emergent weed killers.  Ah the scents of Spring!  All fragrances don’t seem to bother me but I am not taking any chances one day after an imaginary trip to the ER.  Imaginary?  Oh sure, it’s all in my head you see.  They gave me a repeat psychiatric diagnosis probably leftover from the last time I was there over a year ago.  It didn’t matter that my biotoxin medical doctor from Michigan graciously called the hospital on my behalf with an update.  Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome just isn’t on their radar.  The ER Doc seemed to give the impression that he was understanding that the difficulty breathing, obvious seizure attacks, and intolerance to the cold hands of the admitting nurse were related to CIRS.  It has its own ICD-9 code don’t you know?  I guess they do not.  Out came the “non-epileptic seizures” and “feeling nervous” diagnoses.  I never said I was feeling nervous!  The third diagnosis was “tremors.”  Yeah, tremors that make your head bang aren’t really tremors are they?

Non-epileptic seizures have TWO causes:  1)  biological and 2) psychiatric.  Most medical professionals ignore the first cause.  If they were psychiatric they would happen only when I am under stress or have a need for secondary gain (like attention or control).  Sorry Doc.  These episodes happen unannounced, unprovoked, and at happy times.  They started with an exposure to a cyanobacteria when kayaking in a local reservoir with my beloved and some fun people.  I love my life with Steve and in general.  I am so blessed and grateful for so much even during this time of illness.  Armchair psychiatry without a work-up is wrong.  Test me.  I have nothing to hide.  So frustrating.

Shortly before the completion of the IV fluid and Benadryl treatment, a nurse came into the room to announce that the nursing shift had changed.  She checked the monitor and recorded my vitals before leaving the room in a puff of noxious and cheap perfume.  WHAAAAT?  Why do you think I am in the EMERGENCY ROOM NURSEEEE POO?  When she returned I gently but firmly asked her to leave and not return due to the same.  She said she had received “report” and knew why I was there.  HELLO?  ANYBODY HOME?  Two other nurses came in a bit later and before the IV pump alarm was set to go off (another sensory trigger).  I appreciated their timing and thanked them.  A bit roughly they disconnected the IV, removed the IV in my arm, and began to hurry us along.  Time to go!  I had to ask them to wait a moment as my body started seizing from the shock of the needle coming out of my arm.  Hey, it happens every time a needle goes in or out don’t you know? I really can’t make this stuff up don’t you know?  It simply isn’t worth it and would take too much energy anyways.  Just look at the outpatient records from the 21 IV magnesium treatments at that same hospital this past October and November.  Same reaction.

I felt numb on the way home.  My incredible husband made sure I was settled and quickly got outside to mow the lawn before dark.  I ate a light dinner as fast as I could to gain some strength before giving into the incredible fatigue.  Tic attacks woke me up several times as I slept for about a half of a day total.  The ordeal was over.  My third trip to the ER since becoming ill October 11, 2011 was over.

What do I do now, I wonder?  I mean there are binding agents that I can’t tolerate (chlolestyramine and Welchol) and one that I can (activated charcoal) tolerate but the latter doesn’t register on Dr. Richie Shoemaker’s biotoxin illness protocol.  During a wretched episode earlier last week the Lord gave me some insight that the activated charcoal might work better for me.   So a few grains of AC is all I am doing for treatment in addition to my own election for a mold-free, Candida, low oxalate diet.  Oh yes, and our home will become a safe-zone to reduce exposures.  Sadly there will be no more monthly home group.  I spent the last one in my bedroom with seizure attacks while the group worshipped, prayed, and fellowshipped in our living room.  Even the hint of fragrance amongst them was too much for me.  Sigh.  I  need the fellowship Lord!  And what about the friends and family who will be in town for my husband’s son’s wedding next month?  This is a heartache for both of us right now.  I love Steve’s adult children and his family.  I am grateful for them.  I guess I’ll be Skyped into the bridal shower . . .  And I doubt that I will be able to enjoy playing hostess to family that has not seen our home beautified since they were last here for our wedding 7 years ago.  It’s just so very risky.  Maybe it will be warm enough to visit on our lovely patio.  Hope so.

Oh well.  We’ll figure out something.  We always do.  Better leave that one for a future blog.  More prayer is needed before then fer shur.  JJ

Keeping Calm

Jesus Calms the Storm

22 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. 23 As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm.25 “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”  (Luke 8)

This is such a great story isn’t it?  The newbie disciples did not know that there was no way that they could drown with the God of the universe in the boat with them!  And further, the story illustrates the omnipotence of God, that even the raging seas obey Him.  This story also reminds me of a message from Pastor David Jeremiah in which he taught the truth that a person in the middle of God’s will cannot perish until the Lord’s work is completed in him or her.  “Cannot perish!”  Wow.  Sure makes my fears and worries worthless.  If I could just remind myself of these truths in the midst of my own storms then surely I would be a better instrument for the Lord . . .

I might have made some progress last night.  Allow me to explain.  When reeling from 1 1/2 hours of relentless seizure attacks, I eeked out to my husband, “I need help.”  Within moments were on our way to the emergency room of a local hospital.  All I could think about was, “thank you” to Steve and, “I’m going to get help.”

Getting that help took a long time.  First there’s the registration, then the review of the bazillion supplements, compounded medications, and meds, and the $100 emergency room co-payment.  The ER Doc asked a few questions, called my family doctor, and a nurse started an IV.  200cc of fluids and some pain meds began to flow through the sore IV line in my frail forearms.  And amazingly within about 20 minutes, the seizing stopped.  Praise the Lord!  I actually started to feel sort of normal.  Even the neck headache from the thrashing of my head went away.  Wow.

What I did not expect was the diagnosis.  While I am not going to go into the details here, I will say that I was shocked.  Both Steve and I did not agree about what was written on the page.  Sensing the anger rise up within me, gratefully, I started to pray instead:  Lord, help me to handle this as you would.

I asked to speak to the ER Doc and expressed my concerns.  He said that to change the diagnosis would be fraud.  I believe that I respectfully disagreed and stated that as a licensed healthcare professional myself, I understand both the responsibility of medical documentation:  to get it right and to respect the future implications for the patient.  I thanked him for the treatment that stopped the seizures.  Later I chose to “qualify” my signature on the discharge instructions in a way that indicated that while I received the discharge paperwork, I did not agree with its contents.  Then we left.

It is now 28 hours later and I have not had another seizure-like episode!  Praise the Lord!  The “seas” remain calm and I was able to get some restorative sleep; I even caught up on a few errands this evening with my pup in tow.  I have begun some online research related to my experience of the past day and started pounding electrolyte replacements to keep myself hydrated.  My Lord is the only one who knows what the next day holds for me . . . will I make it to an unrelated doctor appointment tomorrow or even a quick outdoor outing with my hubby mid-day?  Or will the attacks return as I lie on the bed a few minutes from now?  The latter has been my life for virtually all of the past 1 1/2 years . . .

Keep calm.  Keeping calm.  Trusting that the Lord who calms the seas can not only get me from this evening to the morning, He can get me through all of the stormy days of my life.  Oh Lord, care for my beloved Stevers as well and restore Him from the stress of riding things out in the rocky boat with me.  May we both keep our eyes fixed on you with amazement for all that you have done and all that you have yet to do in our lives.  Thank you for the help.  I will entrust you with the details as I lay them at Your throne of grace.

Goodnight all,  Just Julie

Psalm 121

psalm 121 3