Saddness is a gateway to healing. Today I grieved some more the loss of my father last year. This memory was triggered while trying to encourage a friend facing the one-year anniversary of the loss of her father by sharing with her Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are.” Didn’t expect my own tears. I guess the negative symptoms of this stage of the illness I’m battling have taken their toll. Too much time alone, too many noxious symptoms, too tight of finances, and not thinking straight either. I’ll try to remember:
1 John 4:4
New King James Version (NKJV)
4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
My Jesus is greater than the author of this illness and the sorrows of the day. He understands tears for He also wept when His friend Lazarus died. More than the death of Lazarus, some say he was grieving our fallen world in which we will live, suffer and die. We can take heart that He has overcome the world, the sufferring, and death. He is my Lord and in Him there is victory. In this I will rest. In this I will choose to rest. Maybe next time I’ll look at the camera . . . .
Jesus is for the Wounded 
Grieved some more today, the awful symptoms of these past 2 1/2 months. Reading my treatment journal and all the hours spent shaking and writhing in bed with seizure-like tics is greivous. Such a waste of time, of life. And yet I am now grateful for the reprieve this week; it’s a miracle! I’ll credit prayer and monkeying with some Rife programs for bringing me to this repreive. Thank you Lord! You heard me in my darkest hour. “I trust you,” was all I could pray back to you, my King. I know You hold my tears in your heart. I rest in Your care.