You almost lost me

The side effects were just too bad, that Linzess nightmare awhile back

It started with paranoia then gave way to profound fatigue so I went to bed.

Hell met me there, a new kind with seized spikes of lost breath and shakes

Rotational episodes this time then bouncing off the bed with gutteral screams of agony.

What to do now? Thousands have punched my life this decade of intermittent/daily misery

When I can’t even think to pray just stare blankly into my mind’s eye, lids pulled tightly closed.

The visual anomalies reminded me of another medication side effect in a Mexican hospital

When the pregnant young nurse shook nervously as she gave me medication in the middle of the night.

That night I learned the terrifying reality of black boxed hallucinations that you cannot stop or control

You hold on for dear life, wondering if you will ever come away with your sanity, if the side effect ever ends.

So Tuesday night I recognized the pattern from 2009 that ramped up to a break in mentality,

Desperately pleading for a way to think clearly, to get out of the scene stuck on repeat.

“Ozone” came into my consciousness, not spoken just present all-of-a-sudden in my thoughts

But how when I am convulsing, wretching air, terrified of injury as my head and neck thrashed so?

“Just start” came the next words, “yeah right” were mine that followed, sorry, “pray tell how?”

We found a way, my distraught beloved and I. Water spilled about and I rolled around in a desk chair unable to walk.

It was ugly alright: running a medical device that can hurt you while your head drops to bang on the table a few times midway through,

Somehow I got the treatment in me, terrified this time of doing it wrong.

You can damage your lungs you know and perhaps Steve’s if ya miss a step or two.

I drank the water: 400 ml of 70 gamma was the strongest I knew how to process

And within 2 minutes the worst of the wretched, hellish nightmare was over. Then I wept.

A few rebound shaking episodes broke through before it was all over that night

Lying on the bed staring into the darkness this time just dark no weirdness in sight.

If I did not have my medical ozone system I am convinced that tonight I would be in a psych ward somewhere not here

Drugged with anti-psychotic medications, facing weeks of infirmity that’s if the drugs could be cleared from my system at all.

I don’t respond well to medications that affect the brain or “second brain” of the gut

Even a “pediatric dose” can create a crisis ranging from gut issues to this, the worst.

Several days later the seizure threshold remains too low to function yet at my baseline

I’m doing as best I can and taking rescue remedies more often, or rather via nurse Steve, even with the episode earlier tonight.

Be wary of Linzess Gentle Reader. JJ

Treatment Update 4.25.22

When gardening and the activities of an Extension Master Gardener ends up creating more stress than joy, we have a problem. Such has been my experience of late. Then increased health issues created a bit of a medical crisis. What to do now? After 9 years of battling a serious, chronic illness there just didn’t seem to be anything left to try. Then the Lord spoke into my heart and I’ve embarked on some important changes in my life. Tonight I am encouraged! Here’s what I decided to do.

  1. Let go of a volunteer role as Editor of a monthly gardening newsletter. Within 2 days of the decision, a flare up of shingles on my face started coming down. Sure, I took some medications but I could only tolerate a couple of doses until it triggered convulsive episodes. I took a break, knowing that a new treatment protocol was on the horizon. The reduction in the stress that I experienced was quite a surprise. As an Extension Master Gardener, I loved volunteering in this way for the past 3 1/2 years and went through a grieving process letting it go. Gratefully I even got to write several articles along the way, two of which you can view here and here.
  2. Daily home ozone therapy. Here’s a simple description of what this entails. After much preparation and study along with professional IV ozone therapies 2 years ago, I drank my first dose of ozonated water this evening. So far, so good (although it tastes really strange!).
  3. Begin the process of finding an online Bible study or women’s fellowship within the Calvary Chapel churches. Sadly my own congregation was unable to help me unless perhaps I started a new ministry. Me and two Christian women bloggers did just that for 2 1/2 years awhile back but this time I’m just not up to getting something going! Gratefully I have found some possibilities.
  4. Focus on our home gardening activities where possible for the foreseeable future. There’s plenty to do here, especially if we add a second tall raised bed yet this growing season. Lord willing, it will happen and some juicy tomatoes will follow!
  5. Sleep more even if it means napping at odd times during the day or cancelling appointments.
  6. Continue in our diet the recent additions of sprouted seeds and microgreens. These have provided a concentrated source of nutrition that has actually improved some of my lab markers. This is so awesome for a gal who hasn’t made much progress in years.
  7. Do more blogging, more journaling, more Bible study, more connecting with Christian gal friends.
  8. Take more walks as I am able, especially with my beloved Steve.

Lord willing there will be fruit from this new direction. It’s been a long, difficult, and complicated journey that isn’t over yet. I might as well keep trying eh? JJ

Isaiah 58:11

11 The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

Microgreens add a solid and beautiful source of nutrition to one’s diet.