One order of gratitude coming right up!

DSCF7927You all who are healthy out there listen up:  you got it good!

I finally had an evening that was nearly normal for most of it and it was indeed good!  Celebrating the wedding of the son of some friends of ours seems like an ordinary part of life to most of us.  The story went  like this:

We met our friends’ kid as a teenager, he fell in love and 3 years later, we were invited to a magnificent wedding banquet in the quaint Heritage Barn out in the country!  My husband Steve and I gratefully got one of the few invitations to the wedding.  We enjoyed holding hands together during the ceremony, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes from time to time while reminiscing own wedding vows not too long ago.  Shortly thereafter we were seated at our assigned place setting in the adjacent hall; a lovely table arrangement of hydrangeas nearly blocked the view of the other guests yet set the stage for a candlelit dinner as night fell softly outside.  The food was delicious and probably even tasted better because of the 3 -piece string ensemble filling the air with classical genre fit for a king.  The newlyweds smooched with a ring of a cow bell and as the mother of the groom squirmed.  All was well with the world.   White-on-white flowered wedding cake followed for the guests in the dance hall, followed by traditional ballroom dancing and some rip-roaring square dancing too!  The building was a refurbished barn so ’tis fitting to end the magical evening with barn dancing for young and old alike.   The couple later departed through a canopy of floating rose petals then drove off in a “smart car” just large enough to contain her wedding gown!  The night ended as the full moon shined through the thin cloud cover of the crisp evening sky.  Congratulations Brock and Hannah!  Your new life together has begun.

On the way home I realized that only once during the entire ceremony and reception was I aware that I am battling a devastating disease that could take years to beat.  Only for a moment did I wonder if I would find anything to eat from the dinner buffet that would match my Candida Diet requirements; the al dante’ green beans and baked chicken breasts would satisfy my hunger just fine.  Only once did I leave the dance hall to retreat to the stone fire circle where a bonfire covered me with as much warmth as my coat might have but it was in the car parked somewhere in the field beyond.  Only once did I wonder if the music was too loud for me only to realize that I would not be having seizure attacks upon returning to the car at the end of the evening.  The usual noxious after-affects of too much sensory stimulation, having not enough food that I could eat, smoke from the bonfire, sitting in an old restored building, and being out late would not bother me very much at all.

Wow.  You who are healthy and never think about such things got it good!  And tonight, so did I!

Thank you Jesus for an edifying wedding ceremony that focused as much on your sacrifice and saving grace as the wedding nuptials of two of your precious children.  Thank you Lord for working out so many details through the work of so many people and your Holy Spirit to bring such a lovely wedding ceremony together for all of us to enjoy.  Thank you my Jesus for allowing me to experience the wonderful fellowship of our friends in Christ as we celebrated this wedding tonight.  I am humbled and grateful for this afternoon and evening.   This taste of goodness reminds me of Your goodness.  It was and is just the right encouragement I need to keep going when the times are more difficult.  For your glory and in Your name I pray.  Amen.

Now I lay me down to sleep

DSCF7881 DSCF7883 DSCF7887Now I lay me down to rest

I prayed I’d pass tomorrow’s test

I did not die before I waked

Now one less test I’ll have to take.

And so I prayed last night, that regardless of the late hour that I went to bed I would make it through leading a craft at our local Lyme Disease support group meeting.  We made green hemp Lyme Awareness bracelets in recognition of Lyme Disease Awareness month.  Things went well and sometime later this afternoon will be time for some real sleep.  But of course there’s a few errands to run despite my fatigue.  No problem.  I’m used to functioning this way:  spacey, spent, sore, and half awake!

Bittersweet it s the experience of sharing a craft activity with friends on this same journey of recovery from Lyme Disease.   ‘Twas cool that I got to plan some of it with a dear friend earlier this week.  A sweet part of our time together today was the fellowship while sharing a simpler version of the jewelry that has become my home business. We got to talk casually while keeping our fingers busy creating something pretty.  And yet another sweet part was meeting a goal from my business plan for Trinity Jewelry by Design:  to teach a class in jewelry making.   Wow.  I thought it might be for a local craft store someday.  This works well too.  Check!

A more bitter part of today is the reminder of my inability to work as an occupational therapist.  Using therapeutic activities to help others recover in rehabilitation settings was part of my job as a Masters level clinician.  Today was a much simpler version of those type of activities without the billing, documentation, staff, or time pressures.   An activity analysis could show that the variety of exercises and tasks between the two would be similar but are usually more complex in OT.  To perform at a level needed for employment every day would be way above where I am now.  However I must say that it was nice to dabble in that realm some this morning.   And we did have fun!

You just never know what perspective a new day will bring.  Reminiscing on my former work life can be difficult at times.  Yesterday I watched a webinar on home safety for persons with neurocognitive impairments.  This used to be my area of expertise!  I had a small business 16 years ago teaching fall and injury prevention programs to community groups, sponsored by medical equipment vendors.  Then more recently I had used state-of-the-art evaluation and treatment protocols to assist patients and families with both physical and cognitive impairments to live in the least restrictive environments.  I enjoyed working with patients, families, caregivers, and colleagues to develop plans to promote the best function, the most accessible environments, the best quality of life.  I suppose those skills are still there in my background somewhere!  I suppose it wouldn’t take too much research and review to get back up to speed again.  I just don’t know at this time in my life if this is what I am called to do anymore when I am well?

”Tis a good thing that everything does not need to be resolved on a Thursday!  What I can say is that this morning was a decent one and good things happened.   I really appreciate praying with two gals afterwards and we could not do that in a work setting for sure!

Better get going.  There is shopping to do and two Lyme bracelet orders waiting to be filled.  I’ll sign off grateful in this moment and trusting the Lord for the ones to follow.  He is good and is already there in tomorrow.   ‘Tis a good thing that He is here with me now as well!

And then there was a better night

Unbelievable!  To fall asleep without being tazored by seizure attacks.  To wake up without over 15 minutes of tazoring.  To start the day with just a trace of a headache.  To get outside and work in my garden in the morning!  To be looking forward to an afternoon nap in anticipation of a gathering with some friends at the home of one of them on a lake.  For this to come together on a beautiful day.

Yes, praise be to the Lord.  The last 12 hours have been relatively great.  Thank you Jesus!

It makes no difference to a dog

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I finally got off the couch today around 1:00 a.m.  That’s when I started to feel better and realized that a few more newly installed plants still needed watering in the yard.  My husband, Steve, had graciously watered a few before he went to bed at 11:30 p.m. when it became clear that it was not going to rain this evening.  Yipes!  I don’t want to lose the new seedlings, annual flowers, bare root starts, transplanted bush and perennials that I was miraculously able to get in the ground these past three weeks.  And now in the wee hours of the morning, I am grateful that it makes no difference to my dog what time we go outside to the garden.  Anytime, any weather, any occasion, she is ready.  I wuv my pup!

I am so glad that it also doesn’t appear to matter to my Jesus what I am able to accomplish in a day.  While I look around and see the paper towels that need replacing in the kitchen, the crock pot that has been running for a day and a half that needs to be put in the refrigerator, a full load of clean dishes in the dishwasher that need putting away, and so on, I am acutely aware of all that I am unable to do.  Ah, there’s that phrase from my 12-Step Program days:  I am a human being, not a human doing!  I am perfectly o.k. just as I am, sitting on the couch for most of today.  Now I also know that there are other issues such as stewardship, working as unto the Lord, and using my spiritual gifts to serve others unto Him.  Those tasks will be there another day.  Today was a low key day.  Today was a sick day.  And today is over, yeah God!

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?  One thing appears to be certain:  Elle will be ready to go, available without needing to stop and take care of anything else but please me, but be with me.  Oh do I ever love like that?  I pray that if I am able, I will love like that too, with a smile and a spring in my step.  Maybe I’ll even get to help out at the plant sale at our local Cooperative Extension Office.  Wow.  That would be fun!  Regardless, I will be o.k. It makes no difference if I fuss about it either.  As for right now, it’s time to get some sleep!

Matthew 6:25-34