Just can’t believe it didn’t work out.  Months of preparation in every way you can imagine and more.

Having trouble moving forward with the next event on the horizon.  Feels like trying to divert a barge in narrow waters.

Body is weak and riddled with pain from increased sickness and episodes for having tried this course.  Not sure how to make it go away really.

Slowly getting the house and our belongings back in order but not sure if I will finish in time.  Sad.

Money hemorrhaged out the door, the window, never to be seen again.  And she doesn’t care, neither do they.

Dealing with noxious symptoms like increased bug bites just plain irritates feeble  attempts to move forward.

Yet life goes on and meals need to be made, mountains of laundry finished with running here and there.

Can’t even get close to my beloved for a hug due to sequelae of this nasty condition called CIRS, MCS, TMJ, oy vey?

I feel so alone.  Lord, please hold me this night and let me know it will be alright.  I am just so very sad.  JJ